Girl Asked for Text Reminder

[Yewki]

Walk it off, yes you could have responded with something better but it's just one minor detail. Not a big deal.

Instead of showing up and hoping she remembers, you should remind her with a call. She'll be expecting a text. Throw her off a little. If you do that, just keep the call very brief... don't spoil the conversation for the date.

 

[Nickface]

Haha a green flag. It's a good thing. I actually think her not having a smart phone is a plus like the poster said, it means she's not a social media kind of girl. I don't seem to be in the consensus but you should sent a text day of and say something like "see you at 5". Only reason being is that your going to be seeing her almost every day because she's in your class. This ain't some random chick you can ghost on.

Establish communication to avoid any confusion every time you see her. Just make a bold statement sending a reminder text. When is the meeting anyway? Just so we can see how this works out cause I'm interested.

Regardless of if she flakes or not, stay absolutely cool. Be indifferent about it all and positive.

 

[E-Male]

Good stuff, guys. Now you're throwing me some new (and different) stuff. Crap. Ha. Well, I'll let you know the ultimate plan eventually.

Currently, I'm still thinking of saying nothing. I can't give this girl any more power -- I think she feels like she has quite a bit. And I'm stubborn. I will, however, text her about 15 mins in if she doesn't show. "Are you here?" Act like it was a foregone conclusion that she'd show and see what happens. That said, I'll be leaving the restaurant/bar at that point unless she says she can make it there in a few. I don't grovel for women.

I agree with what everyone's said that it doesn't hurt to text a girl on the day of a date to confirm. However, since she told me to do it, I just can't.

Nickface, it will be 6pm (Central, US) tomorrow. Also, I don't have to see her every day. We only have class together one day a week. However, our study carrels (basically little offices for studying, if you're not familiar) are next-door to each other by bizarre coincidence, but she's never in hers other than the day she's in our class (...honestly, I think she avoids it because of me. This whole thing has been kind of weird).

 

[Bokanovsky]

Personally, I think that what she did was downright disrespectful. If she was invited for a job interview, do you think she would have asked a prospective employer to text her with a reminder? How about asking her prof to remind her to write the term paper? By saying that she needs a reminder, she is effectively conveying that a date with you is a low priority event and that she can't be bothered to remember it. You are supposed to chase her even before you've met like some collection agency rep calling to remind her that she has unpaid bills.

 

[Peaks&Valleys]

I feel this is 100% a $hit test as well. Remind her. Are you fvcking kidding me.

The date's tonight? It's too late but I would have texted, or better yet, called her yesterday, and given her $hit about needing a reminder for a date. Then let it be known that she needs to let you know if she's going to make it or not, then and there. Be direct, as if you have other $hit you could do.

I wouldn't let this one go, fvcking reminder. If the date happens I'd lay into her a little bit, like "you seriously need a reminder for this kind of thing?" "are you that forgetful?" but do it in a teasing way, like she's a clown and you're amused.

And then when you guys start talking, if she brings up something like a future obligation she has, like a wedding she's going to, say something like "well, that's only if you remember."

I would seriously, any chance I got, just give her $hit, and laugh at her for saying something so fvcking stupid.

The thing is, by the way she said it, probably not the first time she's used that line, and I'm willing to bet that the other guys in the past have followed her "orders." Then she probably flaked on them.

Fvck. That. $hit.

EDIT: I misread when the date was. So, yeah, I'd go ahead and text or call her today, to verify she's going to be there. You don't have time for that maybe, maybe not crap.

 

[Bwana]

Ok from the old men of the game. Look at every situation as unique and what the circumstances are. Old phone. May not be able to put a reminder in it. She is in grad school and has a lot on her mind and may be so overwhelmed at the time you asked her that she just worried that she would forget. Suck it up and don't worry about if she is going to flake. Call her and if it works out then cool but if it doesn't then move on. If you blow her off you will sit around wondering and regretting. It is much better to definitively know if she has no interest so you can move on with a clear mind.

 

[E-Male]

Personally, I think that what she did was downright disrespectful. If she was invited for a job interview, do you think she would have asked a prospective employer to text her with a reminder? How about asking her prof to remind her to write the term paper? By saying that she needs a reminder, she is effectively conveying that a date with you is a low priority event and that she can't be bothered to remember it. You are supposed to chase her even before you've met like some collection agency rep calling to remind her that she has unpaid bills.

EXACTLY my thoughts when I got home that night. That's why she's got one shot at this. If she shows tomorrow, great. If not, I'm done with this. I don't need to nor will I chase after this girl.

Bokanovsky and Peaks&Valleys are pretty much summing up my frustration with this. I'm willing to give her the benefit of the doubt since I know she's flighty, forgetful, etc. but I'm not cutting her any slack. I won't follow an order from her and I'm not going to try anything else with her if she doesn't show on Friday. If she doesn't show and still wants to continue this (whatever 'this' might be), she'll have to pursue.

I'm a busy grad student too and I have more responsibilities off campus than she does. She gets no slack from me. This is her one shot.

 

[Nickface]

I don't understand this forgetful business. No girl or guy in the world would forget about a date they see potential in. Especially a girl! That being said, I agree with giving her just one shot. When this girl said make sure to remind me, maybe it was a nervous joke? Maybe she meant it in a casual I hope you text me more way? Just trying to play devils advocate here cause no one knows how this girl is wired.

I don't think it really matters if you text her or not. You can play it either way. I would focus more on wowing her when/if you see her. Don't be regretful!

 

[G_Govan]

I'm willing to give her the benefit of the doubt since I know she's flighty, forgetful, etc.

Nothing wrong with giving her the benefit of the doubt, but not for the bolded reasons. Don't let any woman fool you into believing this is how they behave in all situations, like its a personality type. It's simply how someone carries themselves when they aren't motivated or interested in whatever the outcome is.

 

[E-Male]

All good stuff, guys.

I don't understand this forgetful business. No girl or guy in the world would forget about a date they see potential in. Especially a girl! That being said, I agree with giving her just one shot. When this girl said make sure to remind me, maybe it was a nervous joke? Maybe she meant it in a casual I hope you text me more way? Just trying to play devils advocate here cause no one knows how this girl is wired.

I don't think it really matters if you text her or not. You can play it either way. I would focus more on wowing her when/if you see her. Don't be regretful!

Well said on the first.

And true about the second. If she does end up coming, I definitely can't let this anger show. Though she'll definitely get teased about this whole thing like Peaks&Valleys suggested.

 

[VladPatton]

I am actually very curious as to whether or not she'll show...keep us posted. Something tells me her "remind me" statement might be a prelude to a flake. If she feels like showing, she'll show, if not, she'll use the "I told you to remind me line". She's got an interesting tactic.

 

[E-Male]

I am actually very curious as to whether or not she'll show...keep us posted. Something tells me her "remind me" statement might be a prelude to a flake. If she feels like showing, she'll show, if not, she'll use the "I told you to remind me line". She's got an interesting tactic.

I'm thinking the same thing. Will do, man.

 

[marmel75]

Lmao...wow...this chick couldn't even be bothered to remember to send the BS excuse without you reminding her...

 

[jafyk]

There's no need to over analyze this. Don't you normally confirm your dates with someone anyway prior to meeting up? Well, since you bothered enough to come posting here about this. This is what I advice you to do. "Hey, how's it going? Come pick me up at X place at Y time for our date." If she doesn't show up at least you know you didn't have to go somewhere to wait for her. If she doesn't show up you know that she never intended on going on the date. There you have your answer.

 

[TARKUS]

I would think a girl who likes you doesn't need a reminder cos she wouldn't forget about you.

 

[E-Male]

jafyk, you have chicks pick you up for dates?? :crackup:

 

[Nickface]

jafyk, you have chicks pick you up for dates?? :crackup:

Lol yea that was a weird post. Why would you ask a chick to come pick you up especially in a position OP is in now. Anyway good luck OP. I have a sneaky suspicion she may just text you tomorrow cause everyone in this forum including you knows she didn't forget about this planned date.

Bookmarking this thread. Keep us updated!

 

[jafyk]

jafyk, you have chicks pick you up for dates?? :crackup:

Lol, why are you guys cracking up? Honest truth, I have had a girl come and pick me up. Yes, she showed up and picked me up. She was the hottest girl I had gone out with too. We didn't date though. I just wanted to treat myself to a design exhibition with a lovely lady on my arm for the night. Is that such a bad thing? lol. Anyway, the real reason I did it is because I had a POS car but more importantly to gauge her interest level, to get her somewhat invested and I'd have gone to my show anyway without her if she had failed to turn up. You'll be surprised by the things you can get away with girls if they are interested and if you just ask like it's no big deal. It was one of the tips I had gotten on Sosuave...have the date at a location near you or where you'd already go anyway. So, that even if she flakes you haven't really gone out of your way either. You also have to be getting the girls to invest time and resources in you. This makes it harder for them to leave you too. So, really guys what has got you guys cracking up?

 

[jafyk]

Personally, I think that what she did was downright disrespectful. If she was invited for a job interview, do you think she would have asked a prospective employer to text her with a reminder? How about asking her prof to remind her to write the term paper? By saying that she needs a reminder, she is effectively conveying that a date with you is a low priority event and that she can't be bothered to remember it. You are supposed to chase her even before you've met like some collection agency rep calling to remind her that she has unpaid bills.

I can see how the girl's statement sounds disrespectful. Perhaps she should've had better tact. I do know that I've had a potential employer send me a reminder along with directions and contact info the day prior. All, the same perhaps the OP should look at it this way that the girl had low interest. After all he is the one asking her out. I'd like to think that most of these girls get asked out more than us guys. Who knows how many plates she herself is spinning. I see the date as the time for the OP to raise her interest level. Although, if he would've dropped a sarcastic remark as some have suggested he might have created the impression of being of higher value (I'm not implying he isn't, just saying). In the end regardless of how a girl responds initially there's no guarantee she won't flake.

 

[E-Male]

Update:

Alright, fellas. Here's the story (long post).

It ended up being a combination of her expecting me to text her and maybe not thinking of it as a date at first.

I go and wait the 15 minutes. Of course she doesn't show. I was pretty ticked off, since I knew this was going to happen. Plus, I'd had a beer and I never drink. I texted her.

I'm pleased with how I handled this text situation.

Me: Are you here? I'm at a table by the bar
5 minute gap
Her: Okay, on my way.
Me: Did you forget?
Giving her some initial sense of my dissatisfaction here.
Her: Haha no I thought you were going to text if/when you were going!
Me: We set that up, day/time. How long's it gonna take you?
7 minute gap. Here I was giving her the idea that I wasn't happy about waiting and that I might leave. The time gap was either her traveling or delaying so that I wouldn't leave before she took off.
Her: You have to confirm day of! People are flakey. Less than 10 min
Me: True. Have you taken off?
More pressure. I'm not going to wait much longer.
Her: Yes, on the way
Probably another 10-15 minutes later she shows up.

All said I was there about 40 mins before she got there. Honestly, those texts weren't just my game. I was seriously considering leaving and letting her show up with me not being there. But I knew I'd regret it. And you'll see that it worked out well.

Knowing I couldn't let the thing pass (just like others mentioned in this thread), I immediately started giving her hell about it. I told her I normally would have texted her the day of, but since she told me to text her so she wouldn't forget, I wasn't going to take an order from her. I told her I haven't taken orders since I was in the military. "Would you respect me as a man if you said 'Jump' and I said 'How high'?". I said all this joking of course, but there was obviously a certain amount of tension there. She claimed she hadn't said she would forget without a text. HA.

To this point, I handled things well. Here's where I slipped some. I'd had a beer and a half by the time she arrived and I'm a total lightweight (I'm a health/fitness nut). I was fairly tipsy. Bear that in mind. The first half hour or so I went beyond ****y with her. I was just a straight-up jerk for the most part. I was really burned about waiting so long for her and it had to really show. Also, I'm not 100% sure she knew this was a date at first.

But the rest of it turned out well. The conversation picked up significantly and things got pleasant (which, by amazing coincidence, seemed to coincide w/ my sobering up, ha!). We were there (sports bar) to watch a basketball game (Pacers-Trailblazers), but didn't watch a lot since we were talking so much. Had appetizers and shared some with each other. Some touching. Got to know each other quite a bit more. The game went to overtime so it stretched the time out to the point where the date was getting too long (but I wasn't going to miss the end of a great game for this, of course). My team won (always a positive). Walked her to her car. Hand on back. Hugged.

So there you have it. I'm still not pleased with the whole "text a reminder" thing, but it all worked out.

So...... if you ever have a girl pull a line like this on you ("Text me so I don't forget."), obviously don't do something stupid like I did and say, "Yeah, sure." Say something alpha. "You won't need one. You won't forget a night out with me." "Exactly how full is your social calendar that you could forget dinner with a guy like me?" Or some crap like that.

But if you do mess up like I did, I suggest you handle the situation like I did. Don't text. Go to the date as planned. Wait 10-20 minutes. Text her, "Are you here?" Trust me -- she didn't forget you. If she's interested, she'll still want to come. Like this girl did tonight. Then put pressure on her. Let her know sub-textually (no pun intended) that you're not happy about waiting and you're considering leaving. You should be golden.

Of course, you might have to adjust times, etc. if she doesn't live close (like I knew this girl does), but you get the point.

There's my story and my two cents.