Girl always contacts me, but then is slow on response.

[DnbHead]

I'm confused about this one chick.

She always initiates contact with me, so I respond, then she drops off responding for three or four days.

Then said days later, will respond as if there wasn't four days between when she said Hey!

Usually we'll talk for hours when she does respond but I really don't understand why she does this.
I can see she's online during these days she's not responding.
Is she doing this to get a rise out of me?

I'm currently in this situation again, been three days now and I don't even think I'm going to respond when she gets back to me. I know people are busy... but this kind of seems like a game to me... what do you guys say?

So far i haven't acted needy at all because i haven't brought up anything about it, or been the first one to initiate a conversation with her. I'm just acting like I don't even notice, but it kind of does bug me... haha

 

[Billtx49]

Usually we'll talk for hours when she does respond but I really don't understand why she does this.



So far i haven't acted needy at all

If you can talk for hours after it takes her 3-4 days to get back to you, You are needy. That kind of action is telling her that. She knows that you will be there when she feels like talking to someone. Be scarce, get busy with your life, and make her earn your time.

 

[MrJack]

If you can talk for hours after it takes her 3-4 days to get back to you, You are needy. That kind of action is telling her that.

Right on the money.

@DnbHead Don't ever use texting for long drawn out conversations. Why?

1. Like billtx49 said, this action conveys neediness

2. Shows you aren't a busy guy with things going on in his life

3. Sort of conveys she's the only girl you're talking to which is unattractive.

The reason she initiates texting with you is because she is thinking "hm why isn't he texting me? Doesn't he like me?" She is sensing you have some value.

Then when she finally does text you, you talk with her for hours and probably don't leave much time in between texts. This in turn changes her mind about you since you seem to have all the time in the world and giving her so much attention.

Next time she initiates wait a few hours before you text her back and just vary it up all the time.

Generally you wait to respond AT LEAST the same amount of time she takes to respond.

This means if she takes 3-4 days to respond back to you next time...YOU take AT LEAST 3 or 4 days to respond back to her.

If she starts responding back in less than a minute every time then you know you've got her on the hook a bit.

Hope this helps.

 

[amaterasu]

Right on the money.

@DnbHead Don't ever use texting for long drawn out conversations. Why?

1. Like billtx49 said, this action conveys neediness

2. Shows you aren't a busy guy with things going on in his life

3. Sort of conveys she's the only girl you're talking to which is unattractive.

The reason she initiates texting with you is because she is thinking "hm why isn't he texting me? Doesn't he like me?" She is sensing you have some value.

Then when she finally does text you, you talk with her for hours and probably don't leave much time in between texts. This in turn changes her mind about you since you seem to have all the time in the world and giving her so much attention.

Next time she initiates wait a few hours before you text her back and just vary it up all the time.

Generally you wait to respond AT LEAST the same amount of time she takes to respond.

This means if she takes 3-4 days to respond back to you next time...YOU take AT LEAST 3 or 4 days to respond back to her.

If she starts responding back in less than a minute every time then you know you've got her on the hook a bit.

Hope this helps.

Plus 1

Damn, you are so good!

I know this one is hard to do when your emotionally attached to her.

but this is the right thing to do, when a woman is playing a testing game with you.

Good luck and strengthen your emotional control to do this!

 

[DnbHead]

It's not by text. it's by facebook. That's what I meant by i can see that she's online.

I guess i never looked at it as if i talk to her when she get's back to me that's still being weak.

So i guess just give her the cold shoulder a bit to show her I'm not the biggest fan of her doing that?

 

[amaterasu]

It's not by text. it's by facebook. That's what I meant by i can see that she's online.

I guess i never looked at it as if i talk to her when she get's back to me that's still being weak.

So i guess just give her the cold shoulder a bit to show her I'm not the biggest fan of her doing that?

If you really love her though then its up to you.

What I mean is the answer is already given to you above by MrJack. You can continue with that advice.

Don't walk away and give her the cold shoulder all the way.

When you already had hours of conversation with this woman and still confuses you that is fine. As long as we have a technical proof that she's into you.

The problem with this woman is that she's being spoiled or whatsoever and she wants you to play her game.

Like what i've said above, this will take time but are you willing to go into this long process to get her?

Take a look at the advice above

"If she responds 3-4 days, then you also going to respond to her in that way" or probably longer.

Do you love her btw?

Remember your goal for her too.

 

[sazc]

Who knows why she is acting like this. It really doesn't matter. You've got to step back from this chick.

Don't NC her, but take her with a grain of salt. Chicks that are into you don't leave you confused. Tell yourself, convince yourself, she's not interested and find other chicks to game.

When she texts, chat with her, but don't EVER get invested in the chat. Chat if you are free, when you have time, but don't make her a priority.

If she wanted to make herself available to you, she would have/will. For now, treat her as if she is not a priority.

 

[DnbHead]

If you really love her though then its up to you.

What I mean is the answer is already given to you above by MrJack. You can continue with that advice.

Don't walk away and give her the cold shoulder all the way.

When you already had hours of conversation with this woman and still confuses you that is fine. As long as we have a technical proof that she's into you.

The problem with this woman is that she's being spoiled or whatsoever and she wants you to play her game.

Like what i've said above, this will take time but are you willing to go into this long process to get her?

Take a look at the advice above

"If she responds 3-4 days, then you also going to respond to her in that way" or probably longer.

Do you love her btw?

Remember your goal for her too.

I see what you're saying, but doesn't this spark the debate that waiting the same amount of time she does is also playing a game? If i respond back around the same amount of time as she does, she will for sure know it's because she's doing that.

Which leads me to think she'll know that its kind of bugging me.

 

[RangerMIke]

Normal chick sh!t and you are falling for it.

When she reaches out try to make a date... that is ALL you do no BS texting.

If she will not agree and show up then forget about her.

She send you some half @ss BS text saying 'Hayyyy!"

You respond with "High... it's been awhile.. let's meet for drinks(coffee) and catch up... I'm free at (time/date). Can you meet at xyz?"

Anything other than '"Yes, I'll see you then!" you should respond with "Thanks for the text, let me know we you can meet-up and I'll see you then."

If she will not go out with you she is fvcking nothing. Do not waste time with chicks that will not go out with you.

 

[amaterasu]

I see what you're saying, but doesn't this spark the debate that waiting the same amount of time she does is also playing a game? If i respond back around the same amount of time as she does, she will for sure know it's because she's doing that.

Which leads me to think she'll know that its kind of bugging me.

That is why we told you, you respond 3-4 days or

"probably longer"

MrJack advices you 3-4 days.

But my advice is, don't try to mimic what she's doing to you. It will become obvious that your in a retaliation mode with her.

If she responds to you 3-4 days I would respond to her at day 5.

Then if she responds 3-4 days again, then you go with 1 week response.

My point is,

"Don't be predictable" always be "Mr. Unpredictable"

Then if she responds immediately or shorter than 3-4 days the next time, then you adjust the gap of your response.

30mins I say a couple of hours.

That's how you improve your communication with her.

But always remember to be truthful to yourself, if you love her, then feel the pain of the process while doing this strategy. Maintain your composure and don't panick and act needy when she suddenly communicates with you.

And ask yourself now, what is the purpose of having a communication with her? is it a date? to improve once bonding as mutal lovers? etc.?

You must be able to answer that right now, or you're going to suffer in this lengthy process.

 

[DnbHead]

Yeah that seems like too much work and game playing to me haha. I'd rather just ignore her from this point on until she takes a hint.
The way i see it. If you're not going to make time for me, and purposely leave me hanging. You'll get nothing from me.

 

[amaterasu]

Yeah that seems like too much work and game playing to me haha. I'd rather just ignore her from this point on until she takes a hint.
The way i see it. If you're not going to make time for me, and purposely leave me hanging. You'll get nothing from me.

Well you can do that.

But you have to make a clear ending of your encounter with her.

Don't just try to give her a cold shoulder and walk away all at once.

Who knows what will be the outcome? you could change and improve her once she gets something from you that approves her tests.

You make a strong statement or a question for the last time. Make it clear to her what you really want from her. She might also be confused too if you are really worth it for her.

In short, she is not going to give her "yes" easily to you, that is why you are encountering one these problems that women have.

But don't think too much of that, you just have to make it clear once more.

If it doesn't improve anything, then that is the time you go throw her the cold shoulder attack

It's always you to have the last response that is being ignored.

When that happens, she has nothing to blame you for, and the it will show that she is the problem and not you

 

[Dingo]

She's got someone else... you're a plate.

 

[MrJack]

I see what you're saying, but doesn't this spark the debate that waiting the same amount of time she does is also playing a game? If i respond back around the same amount of time as she does, she will for sure know it's because she's doing that.

Which leads me to think she'll know that its kind of bugging me.

Bro wakeup.. dealing with women IS a game. We aren't happy about it but that's the reality.

And don't use exact timing that's why I said vary it up.

And the method of online communication means nothing, texting Facebook insta snapchat... it's allll the same.

Bottom line try to setup a date with her. If the answer is anything but yes then don't try again for another week or 2. If the answer is anything but yes for a second time?

Nexxxtt.

 

[Elias.Barbarian]

Agreed with everyone else: Do not engage in endless texting and pay attention to her response times.

Girls have Game too.

She is either trying to keep you as an option or is trying to get some attention to make herself feel better.

OR she is doing a takeaway and tries to increase your interest by not responding (Catstring). Girls do that all the time - that's a super standard move imo.

Just make your life awesome and be busy with dope ****. Next time she texts you just be like: "Hey lets cut the crap, I am on my way to xx (the Gym, work, meeting friends, your hobby, something badass) right now, but I have time on Friday evening - do you want to meet - let's go for drinks"

I know that it's always the hardest with girls you're really into, but honestly, nothing is won by doing nothing because you don't want to **** it up. Do not waste your time holding onto the fantasy of things eventually just falling into place. Tell her to meet and create your own reality.

Best,
E.

 

[Fireballs]

She takes 3 days , you take 6 days

 

[BeExcellent]

Advice from the old lady:

1. Quit waiting around for her to reach out.

You are the man. You initiate.

2. Quit having 4 hour virtual conversations. You can't escalate physically without being face to face.

After you initiate & she responds...you don't chat...you ask her out already. Her answer will tell you whether she likes you.

If I were her I'd think you didn't like me very much because you aren't being a man & initiating & asking me out. I'd never reach out like she is...Id just assume either you didn't like me or didn't know how to be the man & lead the interaction...and I'd be out in either case.

I actually think she may have high IL since she keeps pinging you even though your handling of the situation is inexperienced at best, inept at worst.

You're a man. Act like one. Reach out, no more chats like you're her bestie, ask her out, get your answer and drive on. Chat on dates.

 

[Tenacity]

I'm confused about this one chick.

She always initiates contact with me, so I respond, then she drops off responding for three or four days.

Then said days later, will respond as if there wasn't four days between when she said Hey!

Usually we'll talk for hours when she does respond but I really don't understand why she does this.
I can see she's online during these days she's not responding.
Is she doing this to get a rise out of me?

I'm currently in this situation again, been three days now and I don't even think I'm going to respond when she gets back to me. I know people are busy... but this kind of seems like a game to me... what do you guys say?

So far i haven't acted needy at all because i haven't brought up anything about it, or been the first one to initiate a conversation with her. I'm just acting like I don't even notice, but it kind of does bug me... haha

Sir, please don't listen to the BAD ADVICE in this thread about not using Texting. It's 2017 (going on 2018), if you don't use TEXTING you will be seriously behind.

In regards to this one individual girl, you should STOP trying to psycho-analyze every single girl like you have complete control over someone's actions. It's a numbers game Sir. You aren't going to win/fvck every chick and some chicks are wishy-washy/flakey/crazy, you just have to accept that.

But you guys need to stop thinking you are always doing something wrong, then running to this forum and getting BAD ADVICE from the 98% keyboard jockeys on this website who do nothing but pass around bad material, bad advice, and bad information because 98% of them are NOT actually out here spinning plates. Anybody who is spinning plates/dating women in the Millennial Generation in 2017 KNOWS DAMN WELL that Texting is essential.

 

[Elias.Barbarian]

@Tenacity: If you think that texting is the way to go here - what is your advice then? You are completely right that texting is essential - but not for its own sake I would argue.

If you have a problem with the advice that you see here, then state your case. I had the impression that was the purpose of this forum.

 

[MrJack]

Sir, please don't listen to the BAD ADVICE in this thread about not using Texting. It's 2017 (going on 2018), if you don't use TEXTING you will be seriously behind. Anybody who is spinning plates/dating women in the Millennial Generation in 2017 KNOWS DAMN WELL that Texting is essential.

I am one of these millennials and nowhere in my advice to the OP did I say to not use texting EVER?

I said don't use texting for LONG drawn out conversations.

If you text her all day you're lowing your value buddy.

But if you do decide to do that then make sure you're waiting to respond every couple-few hours so then it's technically like 5-6 messages a day.

Generally speaking you want to use texting only for a little banter followed by the setting up of a date.

But there are totally times where you need to utilize texting to turn her on or get her excited about hanging with you.

Up to the DJ to use his own discretion.