Girl always contacts me, but then is slow on response.

[MrJack]

@Tenacity youre 10 years older than me. I think you realize texting is a must (good job) but I don't think you realize the right way to go about texting women which is the main problem for you.

 

[marmel75]

If you can talk for hours after it takes her 3-4 days to get back to you, You are needy. That kind of action is telling her that. She knows that you will be there when she feels like talking to someone. Be scarce, get busy with your life, and make her earn your time.

Exactly this. Stop "talking" for hours and ask her out. Stop allowing her to waste your time, its the most precious commodity a man has when dealing with women and you are basically giving it away for nothing.

As such, it holds little value.

 

[Tenacity]

@Tenacity: If you think that texting is the way to go here - what is your advice then? You are completely right that texting is essential - but not for its own sake I would argue.

If you have a problem with the advice that you see here, then state your case. I had the impression that was the purpose of this forum.

See below.......

I am one of these millennials and nowhere in my advice to the OP did I say to not use texting EVER?

I said don't use texting for LONG drawn out conversations.

And that's where I disagree with you. Texting to our Generation is what General Motors was to my mother's Generation over here in Michigan (Baby Boomers). It's in our DNA. In other words, while you go throughout the day and you are at work, at the gym, the grocery store, or whereever.....you end up just texting each other all throughout the day about random shyt.

If you text her all day you're lowing your value buddy.

Not at all........

But if you do decide to do that then make sure you're waiting to respond every couple-few hours so then it's technically like 5-6 messages a day.

This is bad advice Sir.

Generally speaking you want to use texting only for a little banter followed by the setting up of a date.

This is more bad advice Sir.

@Tenacity youre 10 years older than me. I think you realize texting is a must (good job) but I don't think you realize the right way to go about texting women which is the main problem for you.

What "main" problem are you referring to Sir?

As I mentioned, Texting is in our DNA. Matter of fact, the guys that are good at Texting are also good on OLD, because OLD IS TEXTING. The vast majority of those women are sitting on their phones texting you on Match, OKC, POF, etc. If you only send 4 or 5 text messages a day and call it quits.......you are seriously damaging your rapport building aspects with the woman.

In terms of your "value being lowered", this is completely not true. Listen guys, if a woman finds you attractive (which I've explained you become attractive by fixing your looks, personality, and finances, or at least 2 of the 3) then there's no way in hell you and her TEXTING all throughout the day is LOWERING your value. That's a Sosuave/Manosphere/Anonymous KBJ "myth" that gets spread around and everybody in this same "bubble" just repeats it.

I share this information about TEXTING with you guys because this isn't my personal opinion, this is what goes on in my daily life with the plates I'm spinning. I'm not telling you what some other "poster" said, I'm giving you direct feedback from my personal relationships and experiences.

 

[DnbHead]

Yeah I have asked her out. Twice actually. She just said she was super busy both times. Which I'm just going to call out for being 100% bull****. Anybody can come back with a time that would better work for them.

I refuse to ask a third time because she knows I've asked twice. It was after the second time I asked that I stopped initiating contact.

Since I've stopped it's just been her contacting me.

 

[marmel75]

Yeah I have asked her out. Twice actually. She just said she was super busy both times. Which I'm just going to call out for being 100% bull****. Anybody can come back with a time that would better work for them.

I refuse to ask a third time because she knows I've asked twice. It was after the second time I asked that I stopped initiating contact.

Since I've stopped it's just been her contacting me.

Welcome to her orbit.

 

[ubercat]

I ve gone both ways. With women 20s to 40s. Didn't make any difference. So you wouldn't I choose the lower effort path.

If she initiates fine she put in some effort I'll put in some effort

 

[MrJack]

See below.......



And that's where I disagree with you. Texting to our Generation is what General Motors was to my mother's Generation over here in Michigan (Baby Boomers). It's in our DNA. In other words, while you go throughout the day and you are at work, at the gym, the grocery store, or whereever.....you end up just texting each other all throughout the day about random shyt.



Not at all........




This is bad advice Sir.




This is more bad advice Sir.



What "main" problem are you referring to Sir?

As I mentioned, Texting is in our DNA. Matter of fact, the guys that are good at Texting are also good on OLD, because OLD IS TEXTING. The vast majority of those women are sitting on their phones texting you on Match, OKC, POF, etc. If you only send 4 or 5 text messages a day and call it quits.......you are seriously damaging your rapport building aspects with the woman.

In terms of your "value being lowered", this is completely not true. Listen guys, if a woman finds you attractive (which I've explained you become attractive by fixing your looks, personality, and finances, or at least 2 of the 3) then there's no way in hell you and her TEXTING all throughout the day is LOWERING your value. That's a Sosuave/Manosphere/Anonymous KBJ "myth" that gets spread around and everybody in this same "bubble" just repeats it.

I share this information about TEXTING with you guys because this isn't my personal opinion, this is what goes on in my daily life with the plates I'm spinning. I'm not telling you what some other "poster" said, I'm giving you direct feedback from my personal relationships and experiences.

And I share based on my experiences as well..

Agree to disagree bud.

 

[MrJack]

Yeah I have asked her out. Twice actually. She just said she was super busy both times. Which I'm just going to call out for being 100% bull****. Anybody can come back with a time that would better work for them.

I refuse to ask a third time because she knows I've asked twice. It was after the second time I asked that I stopped initiating contact.

Since I've stopped it's just been her contacting me.

Yea don't ask a third time. Don't know why she would keep contacting you after giving you bs excuses twice now. Oh wait yea it's because she wants attention anywhere she can get it and you're her 3rd or 4th stringer on the bench.

Next.

 

[Glassguy]

Yeah I have asked her out. Twice actually. She just said she was super busy both times. Which I'm just going to call out for being 100% bull****. Anybody can come back with a time that would better work for them.

I refuse to ask a third time because she knows I've asked twice. It was after the second time I asked that I stopped initiating contact.

Since I've stopped it's just been her contacting me.

You asked her out 1 more time than I would have.

"Let's grab a drink Thursday night"
"Im busy Thursday night (and no counter offer)".
"Ok cool. If things change let me know. Talk to you later".
Silence.

If there is a fun, positive vibe I will ask a chick out within the first 10 or so messages. Anything but a yes is a no unless they give me a specific counter offer. If it doesn't happen, or I get the run around, I lose interest very quickly and I hardly ever hit them up later on as some people would suggest. At that point they can either initiate later or I forget about them rather quickly because I'm off to other options.

 

[Tenacity]

And I share based on my experiences as well..

Agree to disagree bud.

I guess so. But hey, if whatever you are using is working for you, that's ALL that matters. Texting a lot works for Tenacity, but hey, it might not work for everybody.

- Some guys might not be good at carrying on conversations through Texting and it's better they use the Telephone.

- Then there's some guys that aren't even good on the Telephone, so it's better they focus on meeting the woman in person.

- Then there's guys that aren't even good in person and well, maybe they ought to look at backpage.com! Wait, then again that's illegal and Tenacity would never recommend that someone do anything illegal .

 

[DnbHead]

Welcome to her orbit.

I don't really see how I'm orbiting her. I'm kind of fed up at this point.

You asked her out 1 more time than I would have.

"Let's grab a drink Thursday night"
"Im busy Thursday night (and no counter offer)".
"Ok cool. If things change let me know. Talk to you later".
Silence.

If there is a fun, positive vibe I will ask a chick out within the first 10 or so messages. Anything but a yes is a no unless they give me a specific counter offer. If it doesn't happen, or I get the run around, I lose interest very quickly and I hardly ever hit them up later on as some people would suggest. At that point they can either initiate later or I forget about them rather quickly because I'm off to other options.

Yeah I feel this man, to be fair i stopped initiating contact after the first time she said she was busy.

She then hit me up again and I asked a second time when she hit me up. To which she also said she's busy.

Now she's hit me up again... and I don't even think I'm going to respond. She's wasting my time.

 

[Glassguy]

I don't really see how I'm orbiting her. I'm kind of fed up at this point.



Yeah I feel this man, to be fair i stopped initiating contact after the first time she said she was busy.

She then hit me up again and I asked a second time when she hit me up. To which she also said she's busy.

Now she's hit me up again... and I don't even think I'm going to respond. She's wasting my time.

Good call. I've had several chicks recently that I've messaged, asked out and then something "come up". My response is always the same.....

"Yeah things are busy over here too. Let me know later when you're free and can sneak off for a drink".

After that they seem to always respond back, and if they don't counter offer at that point but keep initiating messages with no mention of a date, I just respond back painfully slow and very short responses. Some mention a date eventually and some don't. Those that don't get forgotten. No reason to waste time messaging someone with no set date.

 

[nismo-4]

She takes 3 days , you take 6 days

Too much work. She has the OP as an e-orbiter.

I would have been asked her out early in the convo. She took 3 days to respond because her 6'6" NBA boyfriend called her for a railing session.

If a woman left me confused in the initial phases, she would find herself deleted. Blocked if she just wanted me as a beta role i.e. friends, pic liker, ass kisser, ego booster, etc.

Online girls get only one strike. Yes, I hard next flakes and attention seekers. No woman is that attractive until we start dating, and that's if I give out that kind of compliment. I haven't told a woman she's beautiful in a while.

 

[marmel75]

Too much work. She has the OP as an e-orbiter.

I would have been asked her out early in the convo. She took 3 days to respond because her 6'6" NBA boyfriend called her for a railing session.

If a woman left me confused in the initial phases, she would find herself deleted. Blocked if she just wanted me as a beta role i.e. friends, pic liker, ass kisser, ego booster, etc.

Online girls get only one strike. Yes, I hard next flakes and attention seekers. No woman is that attractive until we start dating, and that's if I give out that kind of compliment. I haven't told a woman she's beautiful in a while.

Yeah exactly...OP needs better options so he wouldn't post about obviously uninterested women.

 

[DnbHead]

Yeah exactly...OP needs better options so he wouldn't post about obviously uninterested women.

Most likely true haha. I was more so just curious why someone would do that type of thing. I never do that type of **** with women for an ego boost.

 

[DnbHead]

Or alternatively.... practice expressing some standards. That can come across as boring snoozefest advice of "next, next, next, zzzzzz".

It has merits, though. I think if a guy has never blocked/ghosted a woman for being annoying, walked out on a date, kicked a girl out of his place, dumped someone, etc, then he should experiment with these things.

It feels pretty fvcking good, and adds to your vibe going forward.

I agree with this completely! Bad behavior doesn't get rewarded. Honestly, I'm actually lucky that when girls do this to me, it turns me off big time and a begin to lose interest pretty fast. I almost think less of them... I know that's kind of bad but **** 'em. My time is valuable and anyone who willingly tries to waste it can suck it.

 

[John Constantine]

Or alternatively.... practice expressing some standards. That can come across as boring snoozefest advice of "next, next, next, zzzzzz".

It has merits, though. I think if a guy has never blocked/ghosted a woman for being annoying, walked out on a date, kicked a girl out of his place, dumped someone, etc, then he should experiment with these things.

It feels pretty fvcking good, and adds to your vibe going forward.

I was thinking about doing that. I pratically never done any of these thing unless she's a real psycho.
You inspired me, I just unfriended a girl with Low interest. For me it's a small win, next step is to dump one that has high interest if she doesnt meet my standard. One day I'll be able to do it

 

[DnbHead]

I was thinking about doing that. I pratically never done any of these thing unless she's a real psycho.
You inspired me, I just unfriended a girl with Low interest. For me it's a small win, next step is to dump one that has high interest if she doesnt meet my standard. One day I'll be able to do it

Right on man. I feel like small changes like that are always good. I mean, they make you feel better about yourself and that is always positive, right?

 

[Glassguy]

Its all about standing up for yourself because your expectations are high.

This literally happened to me this morning with a plate that I was supposed to go "hang out" with immediately after work. Sex was already guaranteed.

Her: "Sorry but I think I am a no go this evening".
Me: No problem
Her: "I have to pick my niece up and watch her for a few hours".
Me (30 minutes later): Have fun.
Her:"Awe I am sorry. I am sure you're disappointed.
Me: "Not at all. Something else is already lined up for me tonight"
Her: "Like a date???????"
Me: "Of course".
Her: "You're an @sshole".
Me:"Sometimes I am guilty of that. You had your chance. Maybe another time"

An hour later she says "So when are you free again? I am free Friday and Saturday night. Will one of those work?"
Me: "I'm tied up all weekend. Sorry".
Her: "Oh, what about next weekend?"

I didnt respond back at that point. And yes I did already schedule something else with another chick this evening.

Its all about standing up for yourself. If you are a man and act like it, they wont really go away. They will just chase harder for your time and attention.

 

[resilient]

Her:"Awe I am sorry. I am sure you're disappointed.
Me: "Not at all. Something else is already lined up for me tonight"
Her: "Like a date???????"
Me: "Of course".
Her: "You're an @sshole".
Me:"Sometimes I am guilty of that. You had your chance. Maybe another time".

Niiiiiiiiiice! Smooth lines, Glass, smooth lines.

I had one say this morning that she injured herself this week in a hobby, so I said:

"Oh, snap! Yea, let it rest. Let me know later when it heals and we'll set something up." then I go ghost until she reaches out.