Girl agreed for a date and flaked

[EmotionalGeek]

On Friday I met a girl in a club. Spend and two hours with her talking. During the talks I did a lot of kino (wrapping my hand around her, touching legs and face) but no make out. We exchanged numbers.

At Monday I have following sms exchange:
Me (9:01): Hi Martha, How was your weekend? /Geek
Martha(9:06): Hi Geek, It was ok, How was yours?
Me(9:36): good, maybe You want to grab some coffee and tell me about it?
Her(9:47): I want to. I love coffee

.
Me (9:47): Tommorow at 18?
Her(9:51): I would preffer at 17
Me(9:51): ok, let's meet at 17 on X-Y crossing
Her(9:51): I don't know what's located there and I won't manage at 17. Lets meet at coffe shop in A mall or B.
Me(9:59): A mall is only about 500 meters from X. Let's meet at X-Z crossing. It's nice weather and it will be much more pleasant outdoors.
Her (10:01): I don't know this city that well so I don't want to find crossings. So maybe we meet at the C park. It's near to E.
Me: (10:05): ok, let's meet at park at 17
Her(10:05): Ok. See You!
Her (11:20): I won't meet you. Best wishes.

So I do not really understand why she flaked after about 90 minutes without any reason. For me it's like she suddenly changed her mind. Also I would like to know whether there something I can do so she changes her mind.

 

[RangerMIke]

Low interest... making excuses, she isn't making things easy and hopes you take the hint.

Meeting at 1700 instead of 1800, no problem.... but as soon as she started to complain about not being able to find the intersection of two streets? But she offered an alternative that was close by, why didn't you take it? I'm not saying you should have, but instead of arguing with her you should have just said you wanted to sit outside and tell her that you should try again another time, then delete the number. She was going to flake no matter what, you have to read between the lines.

Why did she flake? Low interest.
Why did she suddenly change her mind? She didn't, she always had low interest, she likely NEVER intended to show up.
Is there anything you can do to change her mind? Nope... she either likes you or not... remember you are just one of several dudes hitting up on her. If you don;t meet her needs you are nothing to her.

Chicks who like you will make things easy. And always remember, there is nothing you can do that makes you attractive to her, you have to at least pass her minimum attractiveness standards to even have a shot. In this case you didn't. Just be glad you found out before spending any money and time on her. Onto the next one.

 

[EmotionalGeek]

Low interest... making excuses, she isn't making things easy and hopes you take the hint.

Meeting at 1700 instead of 1800, no problem.... but as soon as she started to complain about not being able to find the intersection of two streets? But she offered an alternative that was close by, why didn't you take it? I'm not saying you should have, but instead of arguing with her you should have just said you wanted to sit outside and tell her that you should try again another time, then delete the number. She was going to flake no matter what, you have to read between the lines.

Why did she flake? Low interest.
Why did she suddenly change her mind? She didn't, she always had low interest, she likely NEVER intended to show up.
Is there anything you can do to change her mind? Nope... she either likes you or not... remember you are just one of several dudes hitting up on her. If you don;t meet her needs you are nothing to her.

Chicks who like you will make things easy. And always remember, there is nothing you can do that makes you attractive to her, you have to at least pass her minimum attractiveness standards to even have a shot. In this case you didn't. Just be glad you found out before spending any money and time on her. Onto the next one.

I did not take alternative because first one was far from my place and second one was coffee shop that I do not know at the mall I know very poorly. So for me it was bad place because I wouldn't be able to lead (lack of familiarity of place) and would not be able to escalate (lack of privacy in coffee shop at the mall). Another reason is that I kinda think about this exchange as confidence zhit-test but maybe I'm over thinking this.

 

[btownbuck2012]

On Friday I met a girl in a club. Spend and two hours with her talking. During the talks I did a lot of kino (wrapping my hand around her, touching legs and face) but no make out. We exchanged numbers.

At Monday I have following sms exchange:
Me (9:01): Hi Martha, How was your weekend? /Geek
Martha(9:06): Hi Geek, It was ok, How was yours?
Me(9:36): good, maybe You want to grab some coffee and tell me about it?
Her(9:47): I want to. I love coffee

.
Me (9:47): Tommorow at 18?
Her(9:51): I would preffer at 17
Me(9:51): ok, let's meet at 17 on X-Y crossing
Her(9:51): I don't know what's located there and I won't manage at 17. Lets meet at coffe shop in A mall or B.
Me(9:59): A mall is only about 500 meters from X. Let's meet at X-Z crossing. It's nice weather and it will be much more pleasant outdoors.
Her (10:01): I don't know this city that well so I don't want to find crossings. So maybe we meet at the C park. It's near to E.
Me: (10:05): ok, let's meet at park at 17
Her(10:05): Ok. See You!
Her (11:20): I won't meet you. Best wishes.

So I do not really understand why she flaked after about 90 minutes without any reason. For me it's like she suddenly changed her mind. Also I would like to know whether there something I can do so she changes her mind.

She sounds like an incredibly difficult human being to deal with. No worries on this one man. You're not missing out on anything here.

 

[Von]

It happens

Before all, it meant that you can't rely on her

You dodged a bazooka

 

[bigneil]

Your mistakes were in the first paragraph:

*Spent two hours with her talking.
*During the talks I did a lot of kino (wrapping my hand around her, touching legs and face)
*but no make out.

Questions:

• Why are you talking so long?
• Why are you getting all touchy feely with someone you just met?
• If you didn't kiss her, she didn't like you touching her. Period.
• You should have got the number and left, or scored that night.
• Why are you arguing with her about where to meet?

By the time I had spent 2 hours in the presence of my girlfriend we had already met on six occasions, made out, been on a date and were about to have sex.

You should have said "Let's meet for coffee at (location and address and time)" in the original invitation.

Your only hope is that SHE reaches out, and you should make her work a little to meet you. Pick a whole new place.

 

[Konada]

Don't buy bullshiat excuses about not knowing how to get there. There's google maps for a reason.

 

[AlphaNate]

Low interest... making excuses, she isn't making things easy and hopes you take the hint.

Meeting at 1700 instead of 1800, no problem.... but as soon as she started to complain about not being able to find the intersection of two streets? But she offered an alternative that was close by, why didn't you take it? I'm not saying you should have, but instead of arguing with her you should have just said you wanted to sit outside and tell her that you should try again another time, then delete the number. She was going to flake no matter what, you have to read between the lines.

Why did she flake? Low interest.
Why did she suddenly change her mind? She didn't, she always had low interest, she likely NEVER intended to show up.
Is there anything you can do to change her mind? Nope... she either likes you or not... remember you are just one of several dudes hitting up on her. If you don;t meet her needs you are nothing to her.

Chicks who like you will make things easy. And always remember, there is nothing you can do that makes you attractive to her, you have to at least pass her minimum attractiveness standards to even have a shot. In this case you didn't. Just be glad you found out before spending any money and time on her. Onto the next one.

This is the answer to your question, OP. If you're smart, you wouldn't care why she flaked; you'd be asking why she had low interest.

 

[stovepipe]

I did not take alternative because first one was far from my place and second one was coffee shop that I do not know at the mall I know very poorly. So for me it was bad place because I wouldn't be able to lead (lack of familiarity of place) and would not be able to escalate (lack of privacy in coffee shop at the mall). Another reason is that I kinda think about this exchange as confidence zhit-test but maybe I'm over thinking this.

When it comes to pu$$y, drive the extra miles to accommodate. It can or cant be worth it, but you never know unless you try. Not familiar with the area, that's what your cell phone and gps is for.

 

[wifehunter]

Hope you have other plates. If not, you may want to fix that.

 

[RangerMIke]

I did not take alternative because first one was far from my place and second one was coffee shop that I do not know at the mall I know very poorly. So for me it was bad place because I wouldn't be able to lead (lack of familiarity of place) and would not be able to escalate (lack of privacy in coffee shop at the mall). Another reason is that I kinda think about this exchange as confidence zhit-test but maybe I'm over thinking this.

Okay... here is some advice. You are worrying too much about what you are going to do. Don't worry about escalating. The only goal you should have on a first date is to see if she likes you... that's it. Secondary to that is to get a second date. You are getting way ahead of yourself brother.

Do not worry about frame UNLESS she is with you. She reads male strength quality from body language... nothing you text or say really makes that much difference.

Like I said... she had low interest. Not a whole lot you could have done to flip this. But always remember NEVER try to bull your way through anything with chicks... if she gives you any resistance.... just back up.

Don't overthink things... and do what you want to do. If you wanted to see her and she offered an alternative location, and it REALLY doesn't matter to you then go ahead with the change... if you are worried that this makes you look weak... too late, you are already acting weak because you are concerned about how you are being perceived.

Sh!t... use the fact that you are using her location as leverage... I do this all the time... when women do this... just tell her you should be entitled to a reward for meeting her at her spot. Then walk up to her, lift your chin a little, with a little smile, and point to your cheek.

If she gives you a peck on the cheek... you got compliance... and she is selling herself. If she doesn't drink your coffee, and tell yourself... she is now going to have to work harder for you.

 

[Building_and_Loan]

Honestly, consider yourself lucky she let you know she wasn't going to meet you. A lot of low interest girls just wouldn't show up, and you would have wasted a whole evening for nothing.

Don't worry about it.

 

[skinnyguy]

I stopped reading when you said you met her at a club

 

[Urbanyst]

Flaking isn't always low interest. Sometimes it's a sh*t test, and something it's her period or she feels ugly or insecure that day. Other times she is playing hard to get.

Women don't think like us. They sh*t test or run away when they feel insecure. Guys do the opposite and pursue harder or act nicer.

Don't operate based on the woman's interest level. Operate based on yours. You are the high value catch!

If a woman knows you are sexually interested and keeps talking to you it usually means she is interested too. But when guys get desperate, insecure, or overly eager to move things forward her interest level can plummet so fast your head will spin. Then it's too late.

Learn to be more relaxed.

 

[EmotionalGeek]

Hope you have other plates. If not, you may want to fix that.

I have set up date with another girl (younger, HB8, lean and more interested) for the same time. She agreed. I think she wants me for LTR but it may be only my wishful thinking. I have also second plate (same age or a bit older than me, very pretty (HB8 or 9) with tits but I'm not sure about her. I will probably go to second date with her this week. She flaked once but then she saw me in club with Martha (I suppose). She said Hi and looked like she really wanted to talk. I said Hi and walked away with Martha. I sent her message and this time she agreed on seeing me).

Martha (Girl from initial post that flaked) was maybe HB6, 7 years older than me but she was compliant in club and I wanted to pump her maybe few times.

 

[wifehunter]

I have set up date with another girl (younger, HB8, lean and more interested) for the same time. She agreed. I think she wants me for LTR but it may be only my wishful thinking. I have also second plate (same age or a bit older than me, very pretty (HB8 or 9) with tits but I'm not sure about her. I will probably go to second date with her this week. She flaked once but then she saw me in club with Martha (I suppose). She said Hi and looked like she really wanted to talk. I said Hi and walked away with Martha. I sent her message and this time she agreed on seeing me).

Martha (Girl from initial post that flaked) was maybe HB6, 7 years older than me but she was compliant in club and I wanted to pump her maybe few times.

If they give you any static whatsoever...walk. There are pleny of gorgeous girls out there. And, till the Lord returns, there's an endless supply.

 

[Urbanyst]

If they give you any static whatsoever...walk. There are pleny of gorgeous girls out there. And, till the Lord returns, there's an endless supply.

I agree if you only want sex and nothing else.

If you want any kind of LTR then you don't want a woman who is too easy. Easy for you, means easy for other men. That means she will probably cheat and you might end up with kids that don't belong to you.

One interesting thing about this forum is how a lot of men complain how women today are all trashy sluts. Yet, when a woman holds back and challenges them a little, they dismiss her immediately. So what do you think happens? If you only go with girls who make it easy, you end up only dating trashy sluts.

 

[bigneil]

Want to know the fastest way to make a SS member mad?

Tell them kino is bad.

 

[Milano]

I usually just tell them something like "oh, and remember, if you flake I will murder you and your entire family. 8 a clock it is."

 

[devilkingx2]

On Friday I met a girl in a club. Spend and two hours with her talking. During the talks I did a lot of kino (wrapping my hand around her, touching legs and face) but no make out. We exchanged numbers.

At Monday I have following sms exchange:
Me (9:01): Hi Martha, How was your weekend? /Geek
Martha(9:06): Hi Geek, It was ok, How was yours?
Me(9:36): good, maybe You want to grab some coffee and tell me about it?
Her(9:47): I want to. I love coffee

.
Me (9:47): Tommorow at 18?
Her(9:51): I would preffer at 17
Me(9:51): ok, let's meet at 17 on X-Y crossing
Her(9:51): I don't know what's located there and I won't manage at 17. Lets meet at coffe shop in A mall or B.
Me(9:59): A mall is only about 500 meters from X. Let's meet at X-Z crossing. It's nice weather and it will be much more pleasant outdoors.
Her (10:01): I don't know this city that well so I don't want to find crossings. So maybe we meet at the C park. It's near to E.
Me: (10:05): ok, let's meet at park at 17
Her(10:05): Ok. See You!
Her (11:20): I won't meet you. Best wishes.

So I do not really understand why she flaked after about 90 minutes without any reason. For me it's like she suddenly changed her mind. Also I would like to know whether there something I can do so she changes her mind.

kinda sounds like she flaked because you didn't go where she wanted to go

Want to know the fastest way to make a SS member mad?

Tell them kino is bad.

it's not that kino is bad, it's just that kinoing a girl who doesn't like you isn't going to produce anything positive, except telling you that she doesn't like you. ideally you should wait until you need to test her interest level to start kinoing

generally though, if she likes you she won't mind kino or will like kino, and if she doesn't like you, who cares what she wants or likes just ask for the check and get out of there.

Don't operate based on the woman's interest level. Operate based on yours. You are the high value catch!

I agree, unless the woman's interest is low/non-existent, in those cases talking to the girl is a waste of time

If a woman knows you are sexually interested and keeps talking to you it usually means she is interested too.

that's an interesting thought, I'd like for you to expand on that a little more.

Easy for you, means easy for other men.

not necessarily, she could just like you a lot. I suppose it depends on how much like other men you are

if you're just some average dude then yeah she's probably a slvt, but if you're extraordinary then it makes sense she'd be ready to fvck you easily.

One interesting thing about this forum is how a lot of men complain how women today are all trashy sluts. Yet, when a woman holds back and challenges them a little, they dismiss her immediately. So what do you think happens? If you only go with girls who make it easy, you end up only dating trashy sluts.

but the other side of the coin also exists, women who make YOU wait til date 7, but let a variety of chads smash in the bathroom of a nightclub (whether that's because you met her when she was sober or because you're more beta than the chads or because you met her after she stopped partying/being "that kinda girl" depends on the individuals in question)

ultimately we're all taking our bets in the great gamble, some guys focus on trying to avoid treating hoes like princesses (and in the process accidentally filter out the princesses), some guys try to avoid letting their princesses slip away by rolling out the red carpet for everyone only to find a hoe in princess' clothing.