gf wont get off dating site?

[Throttle]

much excellent advice has already been offered, BUT I was right where you are not much more than 2 years ago, and thank God I had friends to drag me out of the muck quickly & set me on the right path.

She kept saying 'i dont know what to do ****ydude, i dont know what to do'.

translation: I'm too weak to break this off, break it off for me.

and basically she said, 'i think i have to go', at which point we said we would talk later.

We said? Or you said?

went and got 3 dozen roses

that's how you punish bad behavior.....

i wanted to fight for us, and to keep things going and improve on them. I ended by asking her to please think about it

definitely beg. women find that very attractive.

Basically, she says she just stopped feeling about me. She says that she tried and tried to make it go, and fought with herself, but it just went away.

her interest level plummeted over the course of your relationship. and that's your fault. end of story. good news: you can turn it around 180 degrees, starting now.

- Didnt really ever fall in love with me (despite all the things she said, did, and implied)

that's a weapon that one side or the other always pulls out at the end. ignore it.

She said she was '95%' there, but the last 5% (the future) was unsure.

non-sense. when you started 7 months ago, her interest level was high, and by the time you had these conversations, it had long since plummeted.

Her friends say that if she hadnt felt so good about me, our relationship would have fizzled in a real hurry, like all the other guys she has dated in the past 3 yrs, so i am so confused.

figure out what she like about you in the beginning. then figure out what went wrong. hint: the begging, the roses, and the ignoring BIG RED WARNING FLAGS would be a good place to start.

there will always be more great women to meet, don't wait, start gathering phone numbers and bone up. the only universal attractor is confidence, and you need to find yours, mate. you seem interested in settling down in a LTR when you find the right woman. doc love's advice isn't for everyone on this site, but it's perfect for you. start reading back through his free archives.

 

[Vulpine]

****ydude, you need to start fresh. You need to re-invent yourself from the bottom up, or at least revisit some classics.

Pook's "The Secret of the Jerk" should get you going in the right direction.

 

[Throttle]

too busy wallowing in self-pity?

 

[cockydude]

Hey guys, thanks for all the responses and opinions. Just to let you all know, i have been here often reading them all, but, like most of you say, i have been trying to keep myself busy (which hasnt been too much of a problem, i have a few things on my plate right now). I will be back soon with a full post about how things are going, and a few insights, etc...


cd

 

[Cesare Cardinali]

The problem here is that asking her to get off those sites, and all subsequent behaviour just established you as a chump with less power than her. Following that up with roses and lame speeches about "making us work" sealed your fate. She is 26, wants to play around and have fun. You should have been the prize that she wants to chase. She should be the one asking you to get off dating sites.

When you found out that she was on the sites you should have said to her "keep it up babe, maybe you can recruit a chick for us to have threesomes with". This would have established you as the one in control of the situation, and put her on notice.

He who loves more has less power.

Cesare Cardinali

 

[Ever onward]

Pretty sure it's waaaay to late for that one. nothing I can say that hasn't been said already, and ignored.

PS - $22 CDN per hour at 31 years old isn't anything to write home about sport. Maybe I'm off, but it seems pretty average, and if she's looking for someone to "support" her I'd guess that means on the order of 1.5 - 2.0 times what she's making.

I see that now.

When I first posted that advice I didn't bother reading any of the discussion in the topic and I didn't have to. I was sooo right and I didn't even know it. Dude anytime a woman puts you in a situation like that, walk away. DO NOT ever try to reason her into liking you. If you have to do that, it's game over whether you want to admit it or not. Like Anti-Dump said, don't justify women's behavior if they are actively showing signs of disinterest.

 

[vitor]

Its good that you were so open and honest with all of us. I find some of the stories I read on here guys leave out important info like, I called her on friday, when they called, texted, and emailed on friday. If you post and ask for advice and remember to mention the details you will get some great ideas and help.

 

[jophil28]

Roses ? Who amongst your so-called friends gave you that "tip". You need new friends !
Worst advice ever .Bad tactic dude. She was acting badly and you tried to 'punish' her with Roses. Ha! How did that work ?
Maybe you thought that the Roses would raise her interst level ? All women like roses, right ? YES THEY DO . BUT they need to earn them !
You tried to emotionally bribe her with flowers without understanding what was happening in your relationship.

Two possibilities-

1. She just grew 'used' to you and and that early spark that she felt from gut churning anxiety dropped off over time. Kind of like playing a computer game which you can beat every time - no challenge = no interest= eventually no desire to play.

2. She is an habitual AW who enjoys the "play" with men to get the initial attention, and then when the guy actually WANTS something from her ( involvement,committment, loyalty, intimacy ..) Then she pulls out and lets the relationship fizzle and goes shopping for her next playmate.

These women are bad .They ACT as if they are IN A RELATIONSHIP but when you examine their behavior they contibute nothing of substance.. They just want attention and the ego fun from being desired by a man and they rarely give much back or stay with the same man for long.

Examine her past relationship history and you will see that you are the new male lead in the latest remake of HER movie.

WE all connect with ONE of these bytches in our life. Make sure that she is the ONLY one of her type who ever gets any of your time or affection..

 

[Latinoman]

Jophil, your last post was FANTASTIC! Well said.

 

[TooColdUlrick]

here is a perfect example of three things.

1) when a relationship is rocky, dump her before she dumps you.

2) do not cave into your inner pvssy (your roses thing, my god).

3) make more money that your chick. they won't respect you. eventually it will come up, and it will read something like this, "I make more money than you do, so YOU should do more around the house."

balls snipped off and relationship is over. it was actually over to begin with.

money is power. if she makes more than you, she has the power, and knows it.

 

[speed dawg]

3) make more money that your chick. they won't respect you. eventually it will come up, and it will read something like this, "I make more money than you do, so YOU should do more around the house."

balls snipped off and relationship is over. it was actually over to begin with.

money is power. if she makes more than you, she has the power, and knows it.

Biggest bunch of bullsh1t I've heard since I left the farm.

 

[TooColdUlrick]

Biggest bunch of bullsh1t I've heard since I left the farm.

have you read this thread?