GF Studying Abroad

[WORKEROUTER]

My gf of 10 months is studying abroad in Italy until December.

Our relationship has had ups and downs, but I've learned an incredible amount about myself with her and understand her more than ever.

I'm 19 (she's 21), and have had plenty of relatioships in the past. I've had sex with over 15 girls, have dated countless numbers, and have had a couple long-term relationships. I'm saying this not to boast but to illustrate the fact that I'm not just with this girl because of immature infatuation.

Anyway, she's been totally faithful with me for the past 10 months. I took her virginity about 3 months after dating her. I'm a fairly particular judge of character, and I will truly call her a good girl. She's totally sweet to me, and is "true."

She has limitations, boundaries, and morals that I may not have (but I'm more of a rebel anyway), but I accept them, and even respect them, despite the fact that I could refute them, at least in my mind.

Over the past 10 months, I've fallen in love with her, and she has fallen in love with me. I use to disdain the idea of love and even mock those who claimed to be caught in it, but that's because I never understood it. I pushed away from it, dated other girls during the 10 months in order to "avoid" it, but eventually found this in vain. This is a girl who I care enough about to actually accept it. I spent a whole week with her before she left at her family's home in the East, and had one of the best weeks of my life.

But she's leaving until December, and I already miss her a lot. Some might ask if my concern is her cheating on me. The answer is no. I know the quality of man I am, and the depths of passion and respect she feels towards me. The question of whether she will cheat on me is, quite frankly, irrelevant. I neither fear nor worry about it. Obviously, you are always vulnerable when you truly love a girl, but the vulnerability goes deeper than her just cheating on you.

Despite all of that, I still do feel a bit depressed about her not being here. I would love to here opinions and thoughts from guys who have been or who are in a similair situation to mine. What were your thoughts? How did you handle not having her around for so long (for me, three months)? What sorts of things did you learn from the experience?

 

[OfficeSpace]

I moved on...

 

[MacDiddy]

she will cheat on me is, quite frankly, irrelevant.

Its irrelevant if it doesn't bother you when she cheats...
If she's hot looking enough she will cheat... Just get use to it...

 

[Kings_royalty]

Your best bet is to keep busy bro, you don't want to sit around thinking about her and what she is doing, you'll just drive yourself crazy. Go out with the boys and have some fun, socialize with other girls (notice I didn't say to F other girls), just keep busy. Allot of things can happen in 3 months, especially at the ages of 19 and 21.

 

[penkitten]

lots of things can happen in a three month period however it doesnt mean that it will.
keep yourself busy doing other things where you wont miss her so much, be aware that anything can happen, and dont create more problems.(for instance, until she cheats, you cant say she is a cheater. sometimes when you rag people for things that havent done, it leads them to do those things.)

 

[WORKEROUTER]

If she was to cheat, then yof course I'd feel down for a while, but I can move on.

But she knows the degree to which I can go out and pull chicks. She knows that I'm not dependent on her, and I think that means a lot.

Point is that I'm with her solely because I think she's a great girl, period. If she was to do something to change that, then there wouldn't be a reason to be with her, and she understands that.

So in other words, unless she wants to not be together, she won't risk ruining it. And her IL in me is exceedingly high. And no wonder. I'm an alpha male. I'm a motorcycle stunter, I'm strong as hell, I have balls, and I'm on a track to have a lot of success in my life.

She wana f*ck some loser? She want someone else? It's her choice. It's also her loss.

That's why I'm not worried about it.

I'm also NOT interested in getting with other chicks right now. I love her. I've told her this, and I told her that I can be faithful. She knows that. But she also knows that I can leave, at any time.

 

[Luke Skywalker]

Does your gf have raven black hair and is she from Kentucky or Kansas? I'm just curious. I meet a couple of girls studying in Italy before I left incidentally.

 

[itishe]

My girl is gone until December for college, while I'm in HS. If I were to screw around or she were to, I'd expect one of us to break it off before hurting the other, other than that I have no worries.

I just talk to her every day on the phone and on the internet. It's no substitute to touching her and getting sexual, but there's not much more I can do. Just keep busy and keep in touch with her (but don't overdo it with 3 hour phone calls every night like I did the first couple weeks).

 

[Kings_royalty]

But she knows the degree to which I can go out and pull chicks. She knows that I'm not dependent on her, and I think that means a lot.

Yep, that means tons bro. If your girl knows you don't 'need' her, and that you can go out and pull girls at any time, your golden.

Just keep busy, you'll be fine.

 

[pressure0354]

Hey man-

I was going out with this girl for about 4 months, then went study abroad in Italy for 4 months, so i can relate pretty well.

Heres what you do:

1. Hang out with your friends
2. Talk to her on the phone a lot, even if there is nothing to talk about
3. Realize that she will be doing things you can't really relate too, just let her talk.

I didn't cheat on my girlfriend, though have had the opportunity or two while abroad. If you say shes a good girl, then thats your call. 10 months is a long time - you should visit once at least.

anyway, don't think its impossible, people do it. I knew lots of people with gf's at home - though some cheated, they were people with poor character and didn't really love their gf's.

Just try to have fun while shes away. Write hand written notes to her once in awhile! So she can have something to physically hold while shes away.

 

[WORKEROUTER]

Optimism is the key. I miss her a lot, but I'm using this as an opportunity to help improve myself, to face a difficult situation, roll with it, and ultimately improve my personal control and aid in personal growth.

 

[everywomanshero]

Dude, fi she's going to Italy, forget about the relationship, I'd want to go shack up with her for free and tour the country a bit. Maybe she'll pay for half your ticket under the guise of "coming to see her" or at least hook you up with grub, bro!

O, the other stuff! Even if she cheats it doesn't count, she's in a foriegn country, shouldn't make any difference. Just to be sure, you should meet some chickas from a nearby city and have some fun while she's gone I think.

Despite all that, there are those bitter men who will say, NEXT her and find someone else. I say why bother, most likely she's a pretty good catch, has interests, and sounds like a pretty quality woman. I'd resume the relationship when she comes back and see what happens. In the meantime, I'd just act like everything is normal and see other girls, call when I felt like it, and send a txt msg now and then when I thought of something really significant. Doesn't sound like a big problem from my perscpective.

 

[omgwtfm8]

My girl went away for 10 days in Germany and cheated on me, came home crying and didn't know what to do, she called me crying all the time during the trip.

 

[Le Parisien]

Come on man, if some one is truely "in love", just three four months abroad (knowing for sure to return home after this period) is NOTHING! Nothing at all!

Even us guys can hold that long if we are truely in love and only meet "moderate" to "average" kind of temptations.

The kind of guys who get cheated on when their girls are out only for one week or two, I'm 100% their girl isn't "in love with" him at all, and maybe she's already thinking about replacing him.

However, I do agree that physical distance can create problems. Especially if the girl's attractive. If she's HB8+, she will get picked up at least a couple of times a week. And parties between all the international students away from home, feeling "lonely" and all, maybe she will kiss or fool around a little if she's really attractive because a lot of other "hot" guys will be gaming her, and once in awhile, the barrier might break down a bit...

Ok not to make you feel bad or anything, through bad experiences of this kind I know about through friends and acquaitances, cheating is much more likely to happen if she befriends (usually just by accident) a guy she' physically attracted to from the beginning and doesn't make a lot of friends after that. They will be hanging out alot, and the loneliness plus the constant proximity will eventually develop into something bad for you. So make sure she meets a lot of people and have a lots of friends!:yes: Especially a lots of ugly guy friends...

But hey, like I said, 3 or 4 months isn't a lot. Don't always think about the worst case scenario.