gf never has time

[arq-dj1]

Yup... we started our relationship a week ago (we dated like 2 months before)

but she never has time to see me
it all comes down to one day, saturday..
that's the only day we can see each other... and sporadically others..
however this saturday she has one party to go only for members from that particular place. So only during the next week we gonna get together

i honestly think that this is a falacy
if u really like someone and want to see them, u find time...

So, it seems she is sabotating her own relashionship...
before gettin together we talked that it was goin' to be hard seeing each other, but i truely believed it was possible... underneath the actual truth on her words, i think the is a implicit feeling of "i dont give a damn"...
she seem true when shes apologising.. i dont really know...

the think is, i like her, shes rare
but she has priorities, and it seems im the last of them...

if u like someone, u find the time, period (right?)

i dunno if i call her this weekend to talk about stuff, or wait next week to talk in person, after gettin her "vibe"...


plz
enlight my path :|

 

[Colossus]

Originally posted by arq-dj1

if u like someone, u find the time, period (right?)

You just enlightened yourself. If she was really into you, she would MAKE time.

 

[belividere]

get a grip man. Some people have obligations and priorities in life. You just started dating it aint like she is cancelling your wedding to go ice fishing with a 3 toothed sailor she meet on the internet. Slow down, back up a bit, take her off the pedestal and let her chase you some. If she does great if not then oh well find someone who will. Complain now but you are setting a precedent for a possible relationship were after a few months you will be so tired of this girl that you cannot wait to have something come up on a saturday.

 

[arq-dj1]

ty for the replys

i didn't put her in a pedestal.. chill...
i'm liking her, just that.. shes not the freaking best thing ever, i know that...

we dated 5 months, i resumed to 2 months considering meeting every 3 days
or every week in 5 months...

i just remembered... when we were talking about not having time, she said she wouldn't want me to be hang up and loosing something while seeing each other so little


ok, at the time and now, this argument seemed/smeems a GUY argument, when u aren't really into the girl u know?
she had no game, she still has none... i think shes being adviced.

nevertheless, i think i wasn't prepared for games, she acted way AFC a lot of times, but i didn't cared cuz im not into this game stuff...

should i call her ou let it wait till it gets closer to the day we are going to get together?

 

[xiola]

no, if she wanted to see you, then she would make time. it looks like she doesnt want to see you as much as you want to see her. either deal with it or move on

b

 

[alakazam]

Your attitude is going to scare her off.

You shouldn't be thinking "oh, no! she can't hang out with me the one day we can get together in the week, I think she is making excuses, does she like me? is she blowing me off?"

You should be thinking "fvck it, I will go out and have a good time this weekend and meet up with her sometime down the road, it doesn't really matter"

 

[arq-dj1]

so in the end


who care less "wins"


damn, hate that

 

[PuertoRican_Lover]

Homie, she picked a "party" over being with you!!! What does this tell you??? You don't know? I'll tell you ---- she is looking for another dude and keeping you at bay to send the signal to other men that she is available for the taking!!! She does not glorify you enough to dedicate herself to you - you will be dropped if she finds a greater alternative!! Or should I say, as soon as she finds another alternatie!

You have just been enlightened by PR_L!!!

 

[Kaine]

if u really like someone and want to see them, u find time...

Absolutely, and you know what?

The more you push the more she will pull away.

You need to chill and let her do some of the chasing, if she doesn't then you know her IL is pretty gone and it's time to cut loose.

It is imperative that you let her chase you when you are at this stage of the relationship

I never call a chick on for not wanting to see me, I may bust her on it BUT I will only call her on her disrespectful behaviour. This is not a case of disrespectful behaviour. Calling a chick on not seeing you is in her eyes needy, the IL killer.


Kaine

 

[wind20mph]

Originally posted by arq-dj1

if u really like someone and want to see them, u find time...
|

Well to enlightn you arq-dj1, I just want to let you know that you have find time already... And also I want to remind you that she is the one who doesn't have a time.

Because no matter how busy she is, she will still give a little more time.

She is loosing attraction from you and at the same time lowering the rate of interest. Would you be satisfied waiting and wasting... and soon get dumped? I f you believe she would say so then the Waiting Myth just sunk you deep. Go find your self a life and let her miss you. That is when she will take time to chase you.

Good luck.

 

[MindOverMatter]

I once dated a girl that went to university, and had two part time jobs + did stuff with her sorority. and i still saw her at least once or twice a week, even if for short periods of time. when somebody is into you, they DO make time for you, they go out of their way to see you.

this girl is not into you, cut her loose, because from everything u said, it's gonna get worse.

peace.

 

[Climax]

She is immature... wait, or leave her, simple.

hmmm..... Believe it or not, you are not the only one that has this problem.... MANY women out there act JUST the same way as your gf is, and NO, it does NOT have to do with how she feels for you OR her interest level.... It’s to do with her prioritization and her maturity.... From what I can see, your gf is still too immature for a LTR or a SERIOUS relationship, so this kind of behavior is normal for her... I would imagine that she is 16? 17? 18 at most! If she is older than that, then I would suggest finding yourself a new girl, unless she truly is immature, and if you are willing to wait for her to mature abit and be READY for a LTR, then you are just going to have to deal with it until such time.


Laterz...

 

[penguin]

My ex did the same. Seeing her was like her "fitting me into her schedule". I swear it was like making an appointment. Then when she was free, she got pissed off when I was busy. She even lied several times about doing other things to not see me (i.e. "revenge" for being busy when she was free. Then repeat. It was all about power to her). SHe had no sex drive. Basically uptight and boring. Now back on topic....

Just get out. She obviously isn't LTR material. You said it yourself, if she's serious she will MAKE time for you. If not, she's getting off on the power trip of being the one that's busy etc. Stupid little games are for the immature.

You have no obligation to be with her. If you don't like it, next her.

 

[Abbott]

I know what's being said here, and why those who replied said what they did.

But could it just be possible that some people are just too busy, or it is just plain too inconvenient?

If I had a girlfriend who lived in a town that was over two hours away I'm not going to try to see her every weekend.

Also gung-ho volunteer types (busy most evenings) and small businessmen would also be busy. You all know the saying which goes something like "first to get there, last to leave."

Hell...I don't even have time to watch television (maybe because I grew up without cable), and I'm currently in-between jobs.

I realize that I'm being optimistic here (in regard to the original poster's problem), but if I had a girlfriend who lived far away or I was busy as hell, I wouldn't want to see her more than once a week.

Plus...what's wrong with setting up an appointment? I organize my life with appointments, using my trusty PDA. If my father wants to meet for dinner, I put it down. If a friend tells me about a party, I'll put it down. And so on...

 

[arq-dj1]

she is really busy... of course, she may be lying, but if shes not, we really cant get together during the week
i work and after go to college.. so for me it's almost impossible.. she sleeps early bc she wakes up too early too... monday is "family" day for her, and saturday morning she has english classes, so friday it's impossible to meet her...
it all comes down to saturday, however, i think if she really wanted she could find time, sat and monday.. well we gonna see each other next week, at my place... im gonna try to rush the sexual stuff (we really haven't **** yet), to see if that increases her IL...

im gonna get her vibe about it, but in the end i'll have to choose if i want that kind of relashionship or not... i think she hasn't noticed that she gonna have to choose a boyfriend or meeting friends/going to partys etc... considering her tight scheduale

 

[MindOverMatter]

find a new girl, you wont be happy with this one.

 

[Freeman]

Well said

Originally posted by belividere
get a grip man. Some people have obligations and priorities in life. You just started dating it aint like she is cancelling your wedding to go ice fishing with a 3 toothed sailor she meet on the internet. Slow down, back up a bit, take her off the pedestal and let her chase you some. If she does great if not then oh well find someone who will. Complain now but you are setting a precedent for a possible relationship were after a few months you will be so tired of this girl that you cannot wait to have something come up on a saturday.

I think you said it best. This guy really needs to just chill out-back up for a second-and RELAX. He said in his post that he and his girl talked about the "TIME" issue BEFORE they got together..So this shouldn't come as a surprise since she already explained to him that she doesn't have much time. And just because she isn't breaking plans for you doesn't mean that doesn't want you or anything it just means that she has a life outside of you and you knew that going into the relationship so you shouldn't trip-out.

 

[yunghova35]

Originally posted by PuertoRican_Lover
Homie, she picked a "party" over being with you!!! What does this tell you??? You don't know? I'll tell you ---- she is looking for another dude and keeping you at bay to send the signal to other men that she is available for the taking!!! She does not glorify you enough to dedicate herself to you - you will be dropped if she finds a greater alternative!! Or should I say, as soon as she finds another alternatie!

You have just been enlightened by PR_L!!!

He said it best. You even gave yourself your own answer.

 

[Wyldfire]

arq, the problem here is that you placed unreasonable expectations on this girl. She told you her life is busy and she wouldn't be able to spend a lot of time with you before you got involved with her. You expected that even though she was upfront and honest with you about how little time she has, that she would change her life to suit you. You state that quite clearly when you said you thought it would be different even though you talked about it beforehand.

This girl is busy with life, and you knew that from the start. If you can't deal with the situation as it is, you should not have gotten involved with her. But you can't expect her to change to suit you. If you can't accept a person as they are then they just aren't for you...but NEVER try to change them. It doesn't work.

 

[Freeman]

OKAY.......

Originally posted by PuertoRican_Lover
Homie, she picked a "party" over being with you!!! What does this tell you??? You don't know? I'll tell you ---- she is looking for another dude and keeping you at bay to send the signal to other men that she is available for the taking!!! She does not glorify you enough to dedicate herself to you - you will be dropped if she finds a greater alternative!! Or should I say, as soon as she finds another alternatie!

You have just been enlightened by PR_L!!!

So let me get this striaght..Just becuase a chick has a dude-she shouldn't go to any more parties? I think that sounds a little sexist. I really doubt that just because you have a gf you would stop going to parties-I know I wouldn't. It seems to me that this is the mindset of of insecure guy. What always being said on this website is to have INDIFFERENCE about everything-including females. Why would care if she goes to a party? If she fu+-ks around on you so what? SHe aint your Wife....But some of what you say does make sense Puerto:That this girl is picking some party thats probably going to be whack as hell over her bf-That is very suspiscous.