GF maybe walking soon

[RickTheToad]

Are you going to be lining up other women in response to this from her?

I guarantee that once she accepts that you aren't going to budge (and cheers for standing your ground) ... you will soon see a dark side to her that you've not seen before - one that you didn't think could even exist within her.

Once you encounter the emotional "how could you" stage, be prepared... because it's the next stage (anger) that is the worst.

Regretfully, I do not think either one of us are moving from our position. I absolutely hate the idea of a state sanctioned marriage. I am not sure how much clearer I could had been then telling her on the 1st date no chance in marriage. She may change, and I assume she's also fighting with her biological clock. However, as much as I would like it to work out and would like her to be the mother of my children, I do not see me, in any way, shape or form allowing myself to sign a document I am so against. She, regretfully for both of us, will have to take an exit. This is not what I wanted, but it is what it is. She also knows I will not take her back, so that's is also playing on her mind too. When we were first dating, she saw two of my ex's reach out many times to see how I am doing and I just laughed it off. She asked, why not just block them, I said, it gives me a chuckle when I see these fools attempt to get back with me. She said that's wrong and evil. I said, well, I find it hilarious; in a dark comedy kinda way.

I will certainly miss her, but I've compromised, she hasn't. So, there's nothing else to say. So much for "unconditional love" as they say. Trust when I say, there's always conditions.

 

[bcude]

I guarantee that once she accepts that you aren't going to budge (and cheers for standing your ground) ... you will soon see a dark side to her that you've not seen before - one that you didn't think could even exist within her.

Once you encounter the emotional "how could you" stage, be prepared... because it's the next stage (anger) that is the worst.

Do you believe that every woman has this dark side and that it's inevitable to come out under the right circumstances?
I still want to believe that women of better character won't let others see this part of them.

 

[RickTheToad]

Do you believe that every woman has this dark side and that it's inevitable to come out under the right circumstances?
I still want to believe that women of better character won't let others see this part of them.

Females are usually part of a hive mentality. Whereas, if everyone in their group/friends/clique are married/engaged, they should be too. It's the why not me phenomena. Why am I not good enough to be in that position too? They eventually, probably, get to that goal, but at what cost to them? They settle for a dude who will go against their contradictions and cave. Then they are unhappy. Females can be very much logical, just not when it has to do with relationships or emotions. For females, emotions trump logic almost all the time.

 

[Black Widow Void]

Do you believe that every woman has this dark side and that it's inevitable to come out under the right circumstances?
I still want to believe that women of better character won't let others see this part of them.

Tough to say - On one hand, I prefer to not make blanketed statements ... and on the other, I also believe that stereotypes do not exist without a reason.

When posting, I try to go by my own experiences and observations (not what I've read about or the 'popular' thing to say.)

Above, I spoke about a woman's "dark side" , here's my reasoning:

Any time that I've ended a relationship, I've experienced one of these aftermaths.

1. They aren't happy, but they accept the situation without too much drama.

2. They become mean once you've broken up with them

3. They (ahem... cough) "have presents that they had bought for you, but had yet to give to you."
If I'm uncertain about a relationship, I've been known to end it a few weeks before my birthday .... because it's the one day that I want to particularly enjoy

The presents are (in my opinion and from previous experiences) a form of manipulation. It's like... (at least, for me) I don't want to appear ungrateful by not accepting, but on the other hand, I don't feel totally 'right' by accepting.

I think that the woman believes that if you have her gift that she'll remain in your thoughts and also that she's painted a new positive impression. I also think that this serves in some way, as a means of "buying" your approval and/or as a means to 'guilt' you with a "look at all the good things I've done for you" type situation.

All I know is that the gift-giving post-break up girl... is not giving the gift unconditionally. Every time (yes, every time) when they finally accept that the break up is final, there's an "anger stage" that follows. It is then that we see the "dark side" that we didn't think that they could possess.

In fairness, I will say that when it's all over (and there's been plenty of time after the fact) it's possible for the two parties to be amicable to one another.

 

[AureliusMaximus]

Perhaps if the laws change, something can be different. I doubt this will happen, but never say never. I also said, I know what is in it for you, but what do I get out of it? She couldn't answer. I said, listen, I do not want you to be upset (she's balling crying BTW), and I'd rather have you in my life. However, if this is going to be an issue, this is still something I cannot deliver.

1.) Love doesn't exist an legal paper and love cannot be certified by lawyers. If she really values you then she would value that higher than anything else and understand that.

2.) This cannot be negotiated. It is a big fat no!
Western family law is hostile against men and we will always lose everything.
That is the statistics are clear about; 80% of the breakups are imitated by women and we guys always lose our houses, wealth and right to our children. Family court always favors the women and you will end up paying for that.

3.) If she cannot see the reasoning behind that and doesn't want to comply with the terms then no matter how sad it is, it is time to walk away. She will leave you anyway because she wants the Disney fairytale dream of the princess wedding (and conform to the modern social code, just like her friends), which will potentially end with divorce ra-pe horror ending for you.

 

[AureliusMaximus]

Females are usually part of a hive mentality. Whereas, if everyone in their group/friends/clique are married/engaged, they should be too.

I agree.
Being socially accepted by the group is one and having a high social status of the most important things to girls in general.

 

[AureliusMaximus]

I will certainly miss her, but I've compromised, she hasn't. So, there's nothing else to say. So much for "unconditional love" as they say. Trust when I say, there's always conditions.

A quick note... (Cuz I just read the above)
You guys might hate it but I'd say it is us guys that are the romantic gender and loves unconditionally.

Women on the other hand loves us guys conditionally and are the very rational gender about the relationship as a part of the female mating strategy..
In other words they will never love you for you are, but love you what you do for them. Sadly but true we guys will never be loved the ways we would like to be loved and are looking for e.g. unconditionally.

 

[AureliusMaximus]

Everyone has a right to his limits and boundaries.

True.

 

[RickTheToad]

Everything is conditional; it's just sometimes masked to the unsuspecting as unconditional.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

A quick note... (Cuz I just read the above)
You guys might hate it but I'd say it is us guys that are the romantic gender and loves unconditionally.

Women on the other hand loves us guys conditionally and are the very rational gender about the relationship as a part of the female mating strategy..
In other words they will never love you for you are, but love you what you do for them. Sadly but true we guys will never be loved the ways we would like to be loved and are looking for e.g. unconditionally.

But you can be. Depending upon her personality.

 

[Stoic]

I do.

To be fair. Even good men have a dark side too that will come out under the right/wrong conditions.

 

[Sneaky Pete]

That's not cool. Even a slimy toad has some standards.

But then you would be in relationships where you are sure they won’t want to get married because they already are. My advice is to break it off with her. Let her go find someone who wants to get married.

 

[sosumba]

Brought it up again. Acknowledged that I've told her this at the beginning and multiple times since then. She "thought" it wasn't going to be a big deal and she could accept it. She now cannot as all her friends are engaged and getting married. I said, well, I guess we're at a stalemate (and done) since I will not give in and you need something that I cannot give you (even though I stated this multiple times in crystal clear words). She doesn't want me to hate her, I said, I don't, it is what it is. Good bye. This was in person last night.

You have balls of steel my man. Ended id even though you liked this girl as she kept demanding the certificate. In your defence you did what you could as you told her in advance and proposed to get a religious marrige instead of involving the state. But as she was out for the papers and not the "status", as many write here, she wasn't really the girl for you.

 

[RickTheToad]

You have balls of steel my man. Ended id even though you liked this girl as she kept demanding the certificate. In your defence you did what you could as you told her in advance and proposed to get a religious marrige instead of involving the state. But as she was out for the papers and not the "status", as many write here, she wasn't really the girl for you.

The old saying rings true. Females hope things will change, dudes just hope things stay the same. Sigh.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Amber Heard Flies Through Air Braless Amid Johnny Depp Victory

Amber Heard Flies Through Air Braless Amid Johnny Depp Victory

www.theblast.com

You know we preach all this doom and gloom and focus on the negativity in here. But this picture of Amber Turd with the new Vice President, what a scary look. The mask is off...

Ilan Musk "black eye" pic at 1:04. Johnny Depp brings Ilan Musk forward to testify in case.

 

[Mazer]

I wouldn’t marry. You will regret it.
Most of her friends will probably be divorced in a few years anyway so who cares what they are doing.
I would also be very careful going forward, she could always use “he doesn’t want to marry me” excuse and cheat on you. Good Luck

 

[Bokanovsky]

I even offered a religious marriage, with not State cert. She wants that, but the cert, too.

This tells you everything you need to know, doesn't it? If she needs "the cert", it means that she's after the financial security, not the fairy tale concept of "marriage". Women are usually more pragmatic than what they lead you to believe. My advice is to bail before you've invested too much time into this relationship. It is not going to work in the long run - you know it.

 

[deadmasterx]

Marriage is a emotional bond.

If she values a piece of paper telling the State that you are married more than true feelings and attitude, certainly she isn't mature enough to get things. You even proposed to her to have a religious marriage, which shows that you do like being with her, but doesn't want to be backstabbed by the vile marriage laws in your country.

Honestly, you did everything right. You didn't betray yourself nor your values. You showed her that you care about her and her feelings by letting her know that you do want to marry her and if she doesn't want to be with you in a "non official marriage" she can leave and go live her life.

Congrats man, hope everything works out for the best.