GF is pregnant and she's angry with me

[Blues]

Originally posted by seabreeze
Blues,

I feel for you. this woman doesn't even sound like healthy relationship material, much less a good choice for the mother of your future child. Frankly, she sounds emotionally unstable and maybe borderline personality. C'mon you had to notice that there was something weird about her before this, right? What mature woman in her right mind blames the MAN for getting her pregnant when they are in a exclusive relationship so he doesn't feel the need to wear a condom AND she's on birth control pills? What woman? A semi-crazy woman! Watch out for this one, she sounds oh so strange.
SB

Hi seabreeze,

In fact that was what one of my good female fren told me as well. Which girl doesnt want her guy around in such times? Its not that i told her to sent me the bill once its done.

While we were dating, she seems to be lost in her own world sometimes. She isnt very affectionate and expressive. And that put a dent on me. I'm a very affection person and my exs were as well. However she had qualities i liked so i was considering how much should i compromise.

Too late for this now i guess. Got to deal with the task at hand

 

[NewMan]

I've said it once and I'll say it again....

Noone deserves to be treated or talked to like he has been.

It's very easy in this day and age for women to blame their hormones. Much like many other medical "problems" - women think that because they have these hormones they can disrespect their man. BEEEP - Wrong.

One of the problems here is that this girl is playing mind games.

Instead of communicating effectivel with him, she goes and plays the "We don't have to get married" game - and what she really wants is for him to wrap his arms around her and tell her everything will be fine - he'll look after her.

Let this be a warning to you about what to expect and the treatment you will get in the future.

Further - in the future (and let this be a lesson to all out there) you should be talking to the woman your banging about the "What if's" - as in what if she get's pregenant.

If you've chosen the wrong woman - your going to be left paying for the price for the next 18 yrs. Good luck to you on that.

 

[00Kevin]

Originally posted by Wyldfire
If you did that she probably wouldn't let you see the child and would utilize the courts to collect the maximum amount of child support, too.

He CAN'T be like that or he will end up paying for it for the rest of his life if she has the baby. He needs to think in the long term here.

he will have to pay either way. It is all a question of how this girl is going to act . She can show some respect for him or be faced with rasing the kid alone.

 

[GirlCrazy]

Blues,

Doesn't look like you're seeing the big picture.

Here's a few observations from watching some of my close friends go through this recently:

-- Are you positive the baby is yours?

-- You think she's emotionally unstable now? Wait till she has the baby. Not only will she be the antichrist, but she will be getting questionable advice from ALL her friends and family. Most of her bitter single mom friends will be telling her to screw you for every penny she can. If you stay emotionally unavailable to her, she might start believing the bad advice.

-- Good or bad you're stuck with her for 18 years, and with today's strict laws, your participation is guaranteed. Mother and baby are part of your life for a long long time, so why not make the best of it.

-- Have you thought about what happens if this situation turns nasty? If lawyers get involved, who has more money? Are her parents rich? Are your parents rich? Do either of you do drugs? Bad things in your past? Every dirty little secret for both of you will come out if this turns bad.


My Advice

This is time to look at the big picture. Be as active as you can in the entire process and befriend everyone involved. When she has the baby you will be under a big time microscope. Every decision you make will be scrutinized not only by your GF, but by her parents, friends, your parents and friends, the hostpital staff and everyone else, even child services if either of you have been naughty. So think this through all the way and be prepared for whatever outcome!

She can show some respect for him or be faced with rasing the kid alone.

The reality is that if he turns his back on her and the child, he better hope he can come up with the $25k for a good lawyer (and hope she can't) or he is toast. This goes far deeper than just her showing him simple respect. There's still about 1,000 ways he can end up screwed, and being disrepected by a hormone-imbalanced pregnant chick is the absolute least of his worries.

 

[Blues]

Originally posted by GirlCrazy
Blues,

Doesn't look like you're seeing the big picture.

Here's a few observations from watching some of my close friends go through this recently:

-- Are you positive the baby is yours?

-- You think she's emotionally unstable now? Wait till she has the baby. Not only will she be the antichrist, but she will be getting questionable advice from ALL her friends and family. Most of her bitter single mom friends will be telling her to screw you for every penny she can. If you stay emotionally unavailable to her, she might start believing the bad advice.

-- Good or bad you're stuck with her for 18 years, and with today's strict laws, your participation is guaranteed. Mother and baby are part of your life for a long long time, so why not make the best of it.

-- Have you thought about what happens if this situation turns nasty? If lawyers get involved, who has more money? Are her parents rich? Are your parents rich? Do either of you do drugs? Bad things in your past? Every dirty little secret for both of you will come out if this turns bad.


My Advice

This is time to look at the big picture. Be as active as you can in the entire process and befriend everyone involved. When she has the baby you will be under a big time microscope. Every decision you make will be scrutinized not only by your GF, but by her parents, friends, your parents and friends, the hostpital staff and everyone else, even child services if either of you have been naughty. So think this through all the way and be prepared for whatever outcome!



The reality is that if he turns his back on her and the child, he better hope he can come up with the $25k for a good lawyer (and hope she can't) or he is toast. This goes far deeper than just her showing him simple respect. There's still about 1,000 ways he can end up screwed, and being disrepected by a hormone-imbalanced pregnant chick is the absolute least of his worries.

Well, i'm pretty positive the baby is mine. I dont need a DNA test for it.

Anyway, i dont think there's any need for child support anymore since she wants to abort it.

 

[dietzcoi]

Better hope she goes thru with the abortion or your next 20 years will be misery. I know, I lived it.

BTW my two best friends also had girls "accidentally" get pregnant on them. Strange how often these so-called accidents happen! Luckily for them the women had abortions.

This type of thing happens all the time, all of you better recognize that women do this deliberately all the time. This case may not be one of them, but it does happen a lot.

Protect yourselves!

Dietzcoi

 

[Wyldfire]

Originally posted by Blues
Well, i'm pretty positive the baby is mine. I dont need a DNA test for it.

Anyway, i dont think there's any need for child support anymore since she wants to abort it.

If you don't stay with this girl, you should get a test, but don't bring up the idea first. That will set her off. At least in the states (if that's where you are)...they usually give you the option of the test during the initial child support set up.

 

[Wyldfire]

Originally posted by dietzcoi
Better hope she goes thru with the abortion or your next 20 years will be misery. I know, I lived it.

BTW my two best friends also had girls "accidentally" get pregnant on them. Strange how often these so-called accidents happen! Luckily for them the women had abortions.

This type of thing happens all the time, all of you better recognize that women do this deliberately all the time. This case may not be one of them, but it does happen a lot.

Protect yourselves!

Dietzcoi

Any woman/girl who has an abortion did NOT purposely get pregnant just so they could f*ck up their emotional and mental state for the rest of their lives.

Each person should take responsibility for using their own birth control, period.

 

[Wyldfire]

Originally posted by GirlCrazy
Blues,

Doesn't look like you're seeing the big picture.

Here's a few observations from watching some of my close friends go through this recently:

-- Are you positive the baby is yours?

-- You think she's emotionally unstable now? Wait till she has the baby. Not only will she be the antichrist, but she will be getting questionable advice from ALL her friends and family. Most of her bitter single mom friends will be telling her to screw you for every penny she can. If you stay emotionally unavailable to her, she might start believing the bad advice.

-- Good or bad you're stuck with her for 18 years, and with today's strict laws, your participation is guaranteed. Mother and baby are part of your life for a long long time, so why not make the best of it.

-- Have you thought about what happens if this situation turns nasty? If lawyers get involved, who has more money? Are her parents rich? Are your parents rich? Do either of you do drugs? Bad things in your past? Every dirty little secret for both of you will come out if this turns bad.


My Advice

This is time to look at the big picture. Be as active as you can in the entire process and befriend everyone involved. When she has the baby you will be under a big time microscope. Every decision you make will be scrutinized not only by your GF, but by her parents, friends, your parents and friends, the hostpital staff and everyone else, even child services if either of you have been naughty. So think this through all the way and be prepared for whatever outcome!



The reality is that if he turns his back on her and the child, he better hope he can come up with the $25k for a good lawyer (and hope she can't) or he is toast. This goes far deeper than just her showing him simple respect. There's still about 1,000 ways he can end up screwed, and being disrepected by a hormone-imbalanced pregnant chick is the absolute least of his worries.

Finally...someone who "gets" what I've been attempting to say. Respect IS the very least of his worries right now.

 

[Giovanni Casanova]

Originally posted by Blues
Well, i'm pretty positive the baby is mine. I dont need a DNA test for it.

Anyway, i dont think there's any need for child support anymore since she wants to abort it.

Well that settles that.

Dude, afterward, I would take a reeeeeeaaal hard look at this relationship. It sounds like her true colors came out on this one. Take this time to figure out if this is what you really want.

 

[dietzcoi]

Wyldfire

I think you are right. My ex refused to get an abortion and was overjoyed at having a kid (at 19). If she was horrified at being pregnant, she would have considered an abortion.

I, die-hard chump, went along with what she wanted, like a fish on the hook

THere is no doubt she was trying to get pregnant. No doubt at all.

I did state that not all women do this, but many do. It happens a lot.

Men need to protect themselves to avoid becoming a statistic.

Dietzcoi