Originally posted by Blue Phoenix
So explain that to us. What woud you do in his case?
That depends, if I acted with the assumption that she was a good girl, then I would be less reluctant to patch exposed weaknesses by counter playing her with games of control and attempts to gain the upper hand like a 'player' would.
Many of you would say that this is AFC, because you are assuming that exposing weakness is always a bad thing.
I disagree that it is always AFC to expose your own weakness. In fact, it is together AFC, unrealisitic and a sign of immaturity to think that you should always try to compensate through 'games' and 'manipulation' to keep from exposing your own weaknesses.and getting taken advantage of.
What a DJ does, especially with relationships, is accept his own flaws and flaws in others. He seeks to minimize flaws in himself and others with the co-operation of other people.
Also, in contrast to the AFC, who takes everything personal regardless, a DJ knows that not everything in this world is personal and against him and can gather the discernment needed from experience to handle situations appropiatelly. In contrast, the AFC totally lacks this same experience.
I think that if I was dealing with this girl and in the same situation as Jariel, I would not look at the situation negitvelly and nor would I just assume it was totally personal and against me.
In fact, I wouldn't be phased or shook up by it in any way at all, and neither would any other true DJ. Self-control, assertiveness, and persistence would be my tools, and in turn I protect myself and others without causing further problems. You just don't abandone people you care about in these circumstances.
Then again if she is in fact playing a game AGAINST me, then I have better things to do than attempt to gain control over a girl who apparently has no control over herself and her own life. I would just assume that there are other girls out there more trustworthy than one who feels she should act out against me for some reason or another. Nexting would be the best option, but only if I felt there was no way to salvage the situation to everyones benefit. If not, I can chalk it off as a learning experience and learn from it.
