GF has a crush on a new guy

[BK Dude]

As the title my GF confessed to me this morning that for about 2-3 weeks she has been talking to this guy at her job and that she didn't realize just what her feelings were until last night. She submitted her two week notice to her job but asked for this guys number to stay in touch. She wants to leave me and then tells me she needs to think about it and what she wants to do.

I'm devastated, heart broken, in disbelief, and I've been begging God to give me another chance with her. I haven't done anything to her and I've been loyal to her the six years we've been together and my GF tells me I'm a great guy and she cares about me but her heart/mind is telling to see where she goes with this new crush guy.

I need help with this since I don't know what to do or go from here. I don't hate her and I don't just want to throw her out but I'm hurt and I've been crying my heart out. I'm a tough guy over all but this incident struck me beyond my wildest of dreams.

Her birthday is on May 5th and I had planned to do something special too but...everything is just so eff'd up. My heart hurts so badly.
If you need other information please ask me just please help find a way to gain my girlfriends love back OR in the worst case scenario move on as best as I can.

 

[skinnyguy]

Her bday is cinco de drinko. Go hook up with a HB 9 and put it on Facebook. She'll be back at your feet in no time.

 

[TheException]

As the title my GF confessed to me this morning that for about 2-3 weeks she has been talking to this guy at her job and that she didn't realize just what her feelings were until last night.

Im sure its "just talk".......

As soon as she says this.....you chuckle and say "Get the fvck out" and delete her from your life.

She wants to leave me and then tells me she needs to think about it and what she wants to do.

Irrelevant. Whether its this guy or another down the road.....shes no longer finds YOU attractive.

I'm devastated, heart broken, in disbelief, and I've been begging God to give me another chance with her. I haven't done anything to her and I've been loyal to her the six years we've been together and my GF tells me I'm a great guy and she cares about me but her heart/mind is telling to see where she goes with this new crush guy.

Funny how that works huh? Being a loyal beta boyfriend does NOT yield a loyal girlfriend. Quit wishing you had another shot with her.....its wasted effort.

I'm a tough guy over all but this incident struck me beyond my wildest of dreams.

Clearly....you are NOT tough. Its easy to claim being "tough" when its smooth sailing. Times like this demonstrate who is ACTUALLY tough. You owe it to yourself my friend....prove how strong you are by deleting her from your life. It will be painful in the beginning, but you will be thankful you did this later.

Her birthday is on May 5th and I had planned to do something special too but...everything is just so eff'd up. My heart hurts so badly.
If you need other information please ask me just please help find a way to gain my girlfriends love back OR in the worst case scenario move on as best as I can.

Dont do a damn thing. Delete her number. Never respond to her. Act as if she does not exist. Thats how you move on. The quicker you do it.....the less time it will take to get over her. Start STRONG.

 

[TheGambino]

You need to move on know.
Don't iniate any contact with her at all. Don't show her your desperate, disapointed, mad or anything don't give her nothing. Just be polite if you run intoo her. If she hits you up, answer, be polite and tell her youre busy and that you need a break also. The best is not to answer any calls or messages from her, just cut off complete contact and let her feel how life is without you.

Try to focus on other chicks and get other girls in your routine forget about her totally, do not give her the time of the day, ive been in your situation believe me. Be indifferent towards her, like your not affected, the best way is to talk to other girls.

No contact is the way to go, stay strong.

 

[sylvester the cat]

The test has just begun.

 

[goldengoose]

Why do you want to do something nice for her? She doesn't deserve it and won't appreciate it. She will spend her Birthday banging her new crush. She is telling you it's over the best way she can. It doesn't matter what you did before, it's what she's feeling now. She is into the new guy and isn't into you. Cut your losses with her now instead of finding it out a couple of days or weeks later.

Im sure its "just talk".......

As soon as she says this.....you chuckle and say "Get the fvck out" and delete her from your life.

Irrelevant. Whether its this guy or another down the road.....shes no longer finds YOU attractive.

Funny how that works huh? Being a loyal beta boyfriend does NOT yield a loyal girlfriend. Quit wishing you had another shot with her.....its wasted effort.

Clearly....you are NOT tough. Its easy to claim being "tough" when its smooth sailing. Times like this demonstrate who is ACTUALLY tough. You owe it to yourself my friend....prove how strong you are by deleting her from your life. It will be painful in the beginning, but you will be thankful you did this later.

Dont do a damn thing. Delete her number. Never respond to her. Act as if she does not exist. Thats how you move on. The quicker you do it.....the less time it will take to get over her. Start STRONG.

Who's the imposter? The Exception always defends the woman wanting us to ignore what she's doing. I have a feeling this will happen to you very soon.

 

[skinnyguy]

Im sure its "just talk".......

As soon as she says this.....you chuckle and say "Get the fvck out" and delete her from your life.

Irrelevant. Whether its this guy or another down the road.....shes no longer finds YOU attractive.

Funny how that works huh? Being a loyal beta boyfriend does NOT yield a loyal girlfriend. Quit wishing you had another shot with her.....its wasted effort.

Clearly....you are NOT tough. Its easy to claim being "tough" when its smooth sailing. Times like this demonstrate who is ACTUALLY tough. You owe it to yourself my friend....prove how strong you are by deleting her from your life. It will be painful in the beginning, but you will be thankful you did this later.

Dont do a damn thing. Delete her number. Never respond to her. Act as if she does not exist. Thats how you move on. The quicker you do it.....the less time it will take to get over her. Start STRONG.

I agree the OP is not tough but it's not that easy to delete your girlfriends phone number if you have feelings for her. Going all out NC could backfire. It's better if OP acts like nothing is wrong when he is around his girl.

 

[Confident Persistanc]

Dude now you are under a lot of pressure and emotions. Any relevant decision (like those who are connected to your ex) will be taken under a confussed state of mind. Take a couple of days with your friends. or your family. If you feel like it (only if you feel like it) try to hook up or estabilsh a platonic fiendship with some women.

After a couple of weeks your mind will be clear and you will take a good decision. No contact her during this time. You must face the fact your relationship is over and if she will come back must pass time and an improved you must be on the table to start a NEW relationship. YOU CAN DO NOTHING TO GET HER BACK AT HER POINT, YOU MUST WAIT TIME.

 

[Confident Persistanc]

And this guy is some rebound ****. Don't worry about him, it's almost impossible your girl will fall in love with him. Probably she isn't even invested in make that relationship work. Wait, don't rush on it!

 

[gravityeyelids]

This is going to hurt. It reminds me of that scene from fight club....

" This...is a chemical burn. It will hurt more than you've ever been burned and you will have a scar."
Tyler: Stay with the the pain, don't shut this out.
Narrator: No, GOD!
Tyler: Look at your hand. The first soap was made from the ashes of heroes. Like the first monkeys shot into space. Without pain, without sacrifice we would have nothing.

The longest relationship I had was only a year long and it hurt when we split ways but that is nothing compared to what you're probably feeling after six years. Not to mention that she essentially cheated on you. Like others have said....the chances of her "just talking" to this guy is highly unlikely. Telling you about this guy is not a small decision on her part and do you really think that she would leave a six year relationship to go be with a guy she hasnt slept with yet?? It is important that you realize what is going on here...because the human mind is extremely good at rationalizing things like this....telling yourself "she's my sweet angel" "she never meant to hurt me", etc.

EMBRACE THIS PAIN. This pain will either cripple you more than anything you've ever experienced or it will motivate you more than anything you've ever experienced. Do not try to block this out with rationalizations. Get angry, however not at her directly. Don't lose your cool and do anything stupid. Come to grips with this pain and then analyze your relationship and OBJECTIVELY and try to remember the little things that she did that annoyed you or the parts of the relationship that made you feel claustrophobic.

This is an exceptional opportunity for you to reawaken. Rise from these ashes and learn from this experience.

She has all of the power at this moment. She has you on the ropes and she knows it. The ONLY way you can regain some of the power (and not ironically the ONLY way you might be able to "win her back") is man up and show her that you're willing to walk away.

Shes swinging between branches. Her saying that shes going to "see where things go" with this new guy is her way of telling you nicely that she has been seeing him (read: Having sex and cheating) already.

We are talking about a six year relationship here....she is very aware of what she is doing and made a very conscious decision to tell you about this guy and essentially end the relationship.

In terms of "winning her back"...its all about attitude. You need to be willing to walk away, but you can't just act like it. You have to accept that she is essentially gone and that you two are finished. The other posters on here will tell you that she greatly disrespected you and as a man you don't deserve that and you need to dump her ass and move on. Which I basically agree with. The attitude you need to have to "win her back" is the exact same mindset you'd have to let her go...so you need to just let her go.

Here is what you are going to do:

1) Buy a bottle of very nice whisky. Give your phone to a friend so you dont make contact with her at all.
2) GET ABSOLUTELY TRASHED. Cry your eyes out, punch things (not people), blast Metallica, watch a depressing movie, read Nietzsche, do whatever. Expel this tension that is built up. Make sure you have a friend to make sure you dont do anything too stupid. This is a one time thing, this is not an excuse to start drinking every day. This is a one time release. Prescribed by Dr. Gravityeyelids to be taken orally ONCE, NOT as needed for pain.
3) Your hangover may be the worst hangover ever. You will feel sorry for yourself. Wallow in it and let it out.
4) The following day when you are recovered, you will awake as a new man. You are going to go and get a haircut. Clip your nails, take care of your appearance. Have a friend who's style-conscious come with you to the mall and help you pick out a new outfit for going out. If you have the money, go to TJmaxx and get some new cologne.
5)You are going to start reading up on weight training and nutrition. Even if you already "workout", you are going to plan out a set fitness routine for the next two months and STICK WITH IT. Working out is what all the pu$$ies at the gym do. Progressive overload training is what champions do.
6) If you havent already, you are going to get balls deep into books like the Book of Pook, DJ Bible, Double Your Dating, etc. You have come to the right place. Browse these forums and begin immediately working on your game. THE ONLY WAY YOU ARE GOING TO GET OVER HER IS BY BANGING OTHER GIRLS. You might not want to. But you have to.

Do not let this depression/pain make you lazy or apathetic. I recommend drinking coffee if you're feeling lazy, or get caffeine pills or preworkout or even green tea. It is important that if you dont already eat healthy, that you begin doing that. Eating clean and staying hydrated keeps your head clear and prevents you from being as depressed.

She wants you to chase after her and go "no baby! please come back! i need you!" so that she can rationalize that you were just a pathetic, needy wuss when she leaves your a$$. You cannot allow this to happen. If this happens you lose. No contact, effective immediately. No contact means no contact. Dont snapchat her, dont read her facebook, dont text her "whats up?". nothing.

 

[RedScorpion]

Going all out NC could backfire. It's better if OP acts like nothing is wrong when he is around his girl.

Sorry skinny, but I have to disagree. 'His' girl has already spoken and made her decision - 'She wants to leave me and then tells me she needs to think about it and what she wants to do'.

Right there, she has told him for whatever the reason, he's on the chopping block. She's saying directly to him 'I don't think you're good enough to be with, but please let me see if you can be my support while I decide who to **** *tear*'. If he doesn't respond to that insult (by getting her out of his life), is showing his tolerance for it. Yes, please let me keep my head on the chopping block.

The only (good) choice he has is to tell her to f*ck off directly, and walk away, or go no contact, and walk away.

It's worse on her part than a regular dump. It's not because of issues between the two of them than can't be resolved - it's because she thinks she can go pursue some 'better' a*s. Walking away - it has to be done.

 

[goldengoose]

I agree the OP is not tough but it's not that easy to delete your girlfriends phone number if you have feelings for her. Going all out NC could backfire. It's better if OP acts like nothing is wrong when he is around his girl.

Worst advice ever. Yeah, act like nothing is wrong when he is around his girl when she is about to dump him. A great way to get her back and change her mind. lol. She already knows that she doesn't want him. How is acting like nothing is wrong going to help? It's not.

Pressing delete number isn't hard to do when she has no use for you.

 

[thunder_god]

In this case I would go no contact on her ass. If you see her act as if what she did didn't bother you and be indifferent, even if you aren't, pretend to be for the time being. Spend a period of time moping around and embracing the pain and slowly let it leave your body. Once that's done, focus on improving yourself like others have suggested. Go out and hook up with several different girls. It will help you forget about her, but if you don't, she will see that you've changed and it will make her curious and maybe even regret her decision. When she comes crawling back, then you can decide whether or not you still want her, but since she already cheated on you, I probably wouldn't take her back since she took the trust you two had and pissed all over it, but you can decide that when that time comes.

 

[In2theGame]

As the title my GF confessed to me this morning that for about 2-3 weeks she has been talking to this guy at her job and that she didn't realize just what her feelings were until last night. She submitted her two week notice to her job but asked for this guys number to stay in touch. She wants to leave me and then tells me she needs to think about it and what she wants to do.

I'm devastated, heart broken, in disbelief, and I've been begging God to give me another chance with her. I haven't done anything to her and I've been loyal to her the six years we've been together and my GF tells me I'm a great guy and she cares about me but her heart/mind is telling to see where she goes with this new crush guy.

I need help with this since I don't know what to do or go from here. I don't hate her and I don't just want to throw her out but I'm hurt and I've been crying my heart out. I'm a tough guy over all but this incident struck me beyond my wildest of dreams.

Her birthday is on May 5th and I had planned to do something special too but...everything is just so eff'd up. My heart hurts so badly.
If you need other information please ask me just please help find a way to gain my girlfriends love back OR in the worst case scenario move on as best as I can.

While i read this, I smirked a bit from the similar things i heard my ex girlfriend say but then it made me sad because i know exactly what this guy is feeling. Those in bold is saying she is going to fvck him. The same things were said to me. She was getting railed by the new guy and a few other random guys i found out about. its going to hurt bad but i congratulate you on entering a new era on your view towards women as this experience will have taught you more than anything this forum can, the raw feeling of being burned from the inside out no matter how loyal, great, loving you were to her. I can honestly say that i loved my EX deeply and when that deep love is ripped apart,... Theres nothing like it. It changes you. Overall... Just back away and cry it out alone without contacting her. Listen to me on this pal,... she is GOING to fvck him so back away and stay away. I was with ex 5 years, i know what your thinking and feeling. STAY AWAY and go NO CONTACT.

 

[devilkingx2]

why do people who have their hearts ripped out by evil exes feel the need to come crawling back, begging for more pain and suffering?

 

[Jariel]

Im sure its "just talk".......

As soon as she says this.....you chuckle and say "Get the fvck out" and delete her from your life.

Irrelevant. Whether its this guy or another down the road.....shes no longer finds YOU attractive.

Funny how that works huh? Being a loyal beta boyfriend does NOT yield a loyal girlfriend. Quit wishing you had another shot with her.....its wasted effort.

Clearly....you are NOT tough. Its easy to claim being "tough" when its smooth sailing. Times like this demonstrate who is ACTUALLY tough. You owe it to yourself my friend....prove how strong you are by deleting her from your life. It will be painful in the beginning, but you will be thankful you did this later.

Dont do a damn thing. Delete her number. Never respond to her. Act as if she does not exist. Thats how you move on. The quicker you do it.....the less time it will take to get over her. Start STRONG.

This is great advice that you should follow!

Here's what I've learned about relationships. When things start getting tough and she starts losing interest, the only way to turn this around is to take a leap of faith and act counter to everything you're tempted to do.

Instinctively, you will try to win her back by proving your love, proving yourself, trying to change for her, confessing your feelings, buying her gifts and treating her well. But if a dog took a dump on your new carpet and you rewarded him with affection and treats, you can guarantee he'll be messing up your carpet on a regular basis.

Human nature is no different. If you reward someone for treating you badly, continue to chase them and show them attention, they will continue treating you badly...and they'll lose respect for you in the process.

So what you do is give her no reaction, no attention, no drama and you basically call her bluff. Wish her luck with this guy, act indifferent and tell her something like "I think this is a blessing in diguise" and show her that you're quite positive about ending the relationship. Don't go over the top and drop girls names or directly say you're into someone else, just disappear from her life. Your actions speak louder than words. When you don't contact her and she can't get in touch with you, her mind will start racing away, she'll get paranoid that you're moving on and you didn't care enough about her.

More importantly, she'll see you as a very confident man who is strong enough to walk away and take no sh1t from her. And that is like an aphrodisiac to women.

It's not about playing mind games. It's about having self respect and becoming a man who puts himself first and becoming a man who is attractive to women.

I can guarantee you, if you do what your "heart" is telling you to do, you will lose her and your self esteem will be dragged through the mud.

Good luck!

 

[Cremasta]

Six years mate... sorry, that sucks pretty badly.
No one wants to hear this, but it's good that she's being fairly up front with you, you have to give her credit for that.

What most of us this forum can tell you is, that by the time a women says things like this:

She wants to leave me and then tells me she needs to think about it and what she wants to do.

she has already gone through the process of cutting you out of her life. She is not going to be hurt by you two breaking up.

There's only one thing for it, and it will be one of the hardest things you will do. You simply walk away with your head held high and get on with living your life by keeping busy, and as if you don't need her at all.

Even if you don't believe it, fake it.
You will start to believe it yourself soon enough and then you'll properly move on.

Tidy up all the loose ends regarding your living arrangements. If your name is on the mortgage/lease, then kick her out asap. If it's hers, then gather all of your stuff and get out.
Don't be afraid to call on family or friends, they'll understand and will sort you out.

Good luck.

 

[Thundernuts]

Dude I've been in your same spot except my ex didn't tell me flat out that there was another guy. Losten to what these people are saying. She is going to **** this guy. You know. He knows it. She is going to come back after a month and want to pretend like everything is back to normal. Use this pain man. Use it to drive you into a into a better version of you. She will come back and se how much better you become and then she will deeply regret her decision. If you take her back then she will just do it again but if you don't she will hate herself.

Don't try and be the white knight thinking that you would never want to hurt her. She doesn't care about your feelings so you shouldn't put your heart into her. You have a miserable road ahead of you and she will come back while your still getinf over her so be ready.

Now go. Release your anger. Use the power of the dark side.

 

[Cerwin Vega]

I'm on my 6th day of NC after a girlfriend of 4 years did exactly the same thing to me.

She met this doctor at work and basically said "I'm not attracted to you anymore".

At first, I told her we're breaking up - she begged me to get back together, after a day or two she again seemed with very low interest level so I just went NC.
She's been chasing me like crazy for the past 6 days. I'm not bragging, it's tough as **** to ignore her when she's crying her eyes out and all I want to do is comfort her, but I know it'll eventually hurt ME.

Don't get back together with her, even if she is begging you to. I learned this from the NC sticky thread (you should read it and post there yourself!)
She will do the most disgusting things to you post breakup thus revealing her true face and form. Good bye and Good riddance!

 

[nismo-4]

Your princess is in another castle. Move on. She already did.

Delete her from every communication platform. Go get another girl and get over this one. She told you she's not attracted to you and you can at best, just be friends (which I wouldn't do). I'd just erase and replace her.

It's over. Accept it.

Case closed. Exit the courtroom.