The bottom line is IF she is trustworthy.
The truth is South Beach IS a sausage fest.
She WILL get approached. A lot.
Theres nothing else to do there but drink and hook up.
You can go to the beach too.
But...
It will be up to her if she has the self discipline to not invite and definitely not accept any offers.
Right now, you cant do anything about it. (well, you cant tell her not to go, you can ASK her not to go, you can just walk out right now...so you CAN do SOME things...the question is, are they at the end of the day the BEST things to do?)
If you are sure of her character, then dont worry or obsess about it.
And if you're not, then you STILL shouldnt worry..because it's out of your control anyway.
You can TELL a woman until you pass out to 'never hang around with guys' or 'never go to some place like that without me'.
But she may still go anyway.
And she will still feel like you're too controlling. (some women actually like to be dominated like that. It's up to you to determine if that is the kind of man you want to be, and if she's the kind of woman that wants that from you.)
It's up to her to decide if she's cool with that kind of behavior from her BF.
If you satisfy her in every possible way, perhaps many women will accept certain restrictions.
Perhaps not.
I think it would be a good idea to really ask yourself what kinds of 'rules' you want to set down. And how do you want to approach it.
You dont have to be a 'hard sell'. And intimidate her, but you can do the 'soft sell'. Again, it's up to you to decide what you will or wont tolerate.
It is also for you to decide if being that controlling is a GOOD thing period.
If you realize that thinking you CONTROL people is an illusion. And that FEAR is not the same thing as RESPECT, you may want to think about how far you want to go.
Honestly, this issue is kind of hard.
Because on the one hand, I would want my GF to have freedom. And enjoy doing things without me, on her own,have her own life, with friends. etc..
Im not going to dictate to her where she can go, what kind of friends , etc..
and use 'threats' ie, "If you EVER cheat on me, I'll....yada yada".
Honestly, Im at a stage where if a GF were to cheat on me, I would be upset for a short while, and the last remnants of my ego may surface, but I would pretty quickly not give a sh*t, and keep walking, never to see her again...
...and feel fine about that. At no time can I muster enough hatred or resentment to try ot get back at her. I think I set up my boundaries pretty well, and pretty early on. And if she doesnt realize them, thats ok, she'll realize them at the moment of her indiscretion.
Im not possessive, or insecure, or worried about any woman leaving me, of cheating on me, or any of that.
BUT...
South Beach to have 'fun'?
WHAT kind of 'fun'?
You know what I mean?
What else is that place good for, man?
But she wants to honor and accompany her best friend.
As her BF, if you respect her, you try to accomodate for her friends too.
Its the classy and decent thing to do.
She also needs to have time by her self.
One of the quickest ways to KILL a relationship is to get all clingy with her, and force her to spend every waking minute with you.
Not good.
So a good balance is key.
And Im not saying to be blind.
But does it help you and help her for you to NOT automatically ASSUME that she WILL 'cheat' on you.
"All women are cheaters at heart, and CANNOT be trusted under ANY circumstances!!!"
Do you agree with this?
Then perhaps you also agree that "all men are dogs" , 'no man can be trusted', 'all men are stupid', 'men only after one thing', and all those limiting, concluding, and defining categories that women often place men in.
Do you think it is good, healthy, and helpful thing to automatically assume evryone will stab you in the back the minute you turn around?
It's really important to not be blind. And it is important to be alert, and aware, not only with her, but yourself as well.
But worrying about things you CANNOT "CONTROL" doesnt do anyone good.
This is why associating only with women with high character is important if you dont want to be worrying all the time, and live in anxiety , fear, and restlessness about 'what is she doing?' when she's away.
Ultimately a person is only as strong as their weakest link.
And you have to be prepared for people to reveal their 'true colors'.
And handle it well, with class, self respect, and dignity.
Remember that most perceived 'offenses' are really nothing more than one's Ego being 'attacked'.
Jealousy and possesivenes, and clingy,controlling behavior all really come from insecurity, and a feeling of a loss of control.
Who likes being 'controlled'??
(You may say "yeah, but she LIKES being conrolled!" and you may be right, but does it do her justice? Is it truly the RIGHT thing to do? DO you REALLY want that kind of woman around? Knowing that to be controlled in a domineering, intimidating manner is not healthy? Some people like to self mutilate themselves, does it make it 'right'?? Just a question to ask oneself. )
It may be a good idea to think about why a healthy ,sexual, attractive , and masculine man would need to be 'controlling' in order to keep some female 'interested' in him.
You're not really hurt if you dont operate from Ego validation.
And if you have true self esteem, and KNOW that you're a good man, and a good catch anyway, and have no problem attracting other women, you are not really going to be to phased by it.
Try to discern if it's your Ego thats being hurt, or are you really in Danger?
Good luck. I know it can be tough.
But theres not much you can do about HER...it's all about how YOU Respond to these things.
" and "wow i'm so happy for you, it sounds really exciting!!" could help.
