GF going out to bars

[WORKEROUTER]

My gf, who just recently turned 21, goes out to bars usually a couple times per week w/ friends and such until late at night (1-2 AM).

As I'm only 19, I can't go with her, and often this makes me feel uncomfortable. I trust her that she won't f*ck around on me, but there's still a feel of discomfort.

My question is..what would be the best way to handle this scenario?

 

[jigga23]

dont say sh!t cause shell feel like youre controlling her. just to be more fun cause thats what shes looking for. couple times a week of going out to the bars is a lot. but just let her do whatever she fvcks around on you then fvck her and leave her.

 

[KarmaSutra]

My gf, who just recently turned 21, goes out to bars usually a couple times per week w/ friends and such until late at night (1-2 AM).

As I'm only 19, I can't go with her, and often this makes me feel uncomfortable. I trust her that she won't f*ck around on me, but there's still a feel of discomfort.

My question is..what would be the best way to handle this scenario?

Brother you're 19 and waaaay too young to be worrying about where she's going and whom she's doing. Do what you like to her then broom her off. Go to a cool cigar bar without her or go hang out with your pals while the pvssy cat's out boozin it up with her sewing circle.

 

[jigga23]

yea i agree who gives a fvck your too young to worry about some stupid sh!t shes doin you need to have fun yourself do be a guy thta stays home and only wants to be with his gf

 

[WORKEROUTER]

So you guys think I should just stop f*cking worrying about it...and I totally agree.

But at the same time do you think that I shouldn't let myself become too attached to her. I mean, she considers us exclusive, so it's not that we're just FB's.

 

[WORKEROUTER]

Brother you're 19 and waaaay too young to be worrying about where she's going and whom she's doing. Do what you like to her then broom her off. Go to a cool cigar bar without her or go hang out with your pals while the pvssy cat's out boozin it up with her sewing circle.

I totally agree, and I do go out with my pals or even go and meet other girls.

But still, we are together, and I still for some reason get pissed off a little bit when she goes out and drinks till 2 AM, even if she does come back to me.

 

[Bourne]

Find someone who compliments you. If you don't like your g/f doing that then find a new g/f. This will end bad. Because there is no way of telling her you don't like it without her hearing "You telling me what I can and cannot do." You can't win.

 

[WORKEROUTER]

Find someone who compliments you. If you don't like your g/f doing that then find a new g/f. This will end bad. Because there is no way of telling her you don't like it without her hearing "You telling me what I can and cannot do." You can't win.

I don't like her doing this, but at the same time, I do like a lot about this girl, and don't want to break up with her over this. I don't know if it's really an issue that I need to get over.

I realize what you're saying thought.

She use to only go to bars maybe once a week for a couple hours or so to just hang out with some friends, which was totally fine. Now though, a lot of her friends are also turning 21, and now she's going out a lot more because of them.

Perhaps also a reason it slightly irrritates me is that I'm only 19 and feel essentially knocked out of the whole scene (I'm pretty much younger than her and all of her friends).

 

[poohead]

get a fake id and go out with her.

 

[Bourne]

I'm sorry man, but both of you are young and I think your relationship is doomed.. I was in same situation when I was 23 and my ex was 21. Now I'm not saying just because it didn't work for me it is not going to work for you, but the odds are against you.

There is no way of reasoning with her. Perhaps the only way is to start distancing yourself away from her and start your own life and enjoy the things you do without her being there. You are in a tough position. If I had to do that over again in my relationship, I wouldn't have fought for my ex like I did. I would have been better off letting go, but thats just me.

Good luck man and keep us updated.

 

[Derek Flint]

She's looking to upgrade.

 

[WORKEROUTER]

I'm sorry man, but both of you are young and I think your relationship is doomed.. I was in same situation when I was 23 and my ex was 21. Now I'm not saying just because it didn't work for me it is not going to work for you, but the odds are against you.

There is no way of reasoning with her. Perhaps the only way is to start distancing yourself away from her and start your own life and enjoy the things you do without her being there. You are in a tough position. If I had to do that over again in my relationship, I wouldn't have fought for my ex like I did. I would have been better off letting go, but thats just me.

Good luck man and keep us updated.

I'm trying to do just that, but it is hard because as I said, I do like this girl, and our relationship seems pretty solid as of now.

 

[CompleteControl]

She's looking to upgrade.

She may not be. But it is just a matter of time before she meets someone else. Between the drinks, all the attention and her friends egging her on she will start to think you are too young.

Start seeing other women.

 

[KarmaSutra]

She may not be. But it is just a matter of time before she meets someone else. Between the drinks, all the attention and her friends egging her on she will start to think you are too young.

Start seeing other women.

Correctamundo :rock:

 

[El MonoLoco]

Don't be jelous....:moon:

Let her have her fun....when you turn 21 you'll be doin the same thing...

Eventually it gets old and she will settle some.....but you can't hold her back from doing the things she wants to do as it will ruin your realationship...

 

[KillaCam]

In a way, I disagree with some of what people have said.

Sure, keeping yourself open, or getting out of a relationship early before it screws up can save you a lot of heartache is one thing..but throwing it all away for the sake of doing it is plain stupid.

Don't read too much into it buddy. If she's going to drift away from you and meet other guys while she's out, then fine, move on when the time comes around. But don't give up because of what MIGHT happen. Ifs and maybes aren't reasons.

You said in your original post that you trust she won't fvck around. Work with that, if there is trust there, use it. Don't beat yourself up about a possibility that may or may not happen, just deal with it if it comes around.

 

[NewMan]

this is really a very easy , simple situation.

You are way to young to have a relationship of this magnitude. Let's face it, legally your not old enough to go boozing with her - how do you even think you can make this work.

at your age, you should not be tied down to one woman - especially with a woman who has just turned 21 and is for the first time hitting the bar scene with her friends.

she is going through a phase of meeting lots of new people (guys) and drinking to excess with friends.

she entering situations which promote meaningless sex - for teh first time.

expect it to happen.

your best course her is to concentrate on enlarging your dating pool - and ensuring that you do not get to involved (emotionally) eith women.

 

[Jackman]

In a way, I disagree with some of what people have said.

Sure, keeping yourself open, or getting out of a relationship early before it screws up can save you a lot of heartache is one thing..but throwing it all away for the sake of doing it is plain stupid.

Don't read too much into it buddy. If she's going to drift away from you and meet other guys while she's out, then fine, move on when the time comes around. But don't give up because of what MIGHT happen. Ifs and maybes aren't reasons.

You said in your original post that you trust she won't fvck around. Work with that, if there is trust there, use it. Don't beat yourself up about a possibility that may or may not happen, just deal with it if it comes around.

I agree with this guy. 21 year olds hitting the bars unusually often is perfectly normal behavior. Your paranoia could be the first domino of a series to end this relationship.

If it concerns you that much, bring your party closer to home. When I was 18 or 19 I was dating a girl that was about 21 or 22. She always hung out with me instead of bars because that's where the good times and the most people were found.

 

[Jackman]

You don't know how many girls I'm messed around with that have/HAD boyfriends at the time. A girl that goes clubbing or to bars without her man is AS GOOD AS SINGLE. Trust me. Get in the field bro.

007

Look, if they were both 21+ and she was hittng the bars without him, then yeah, I'd be behind you 110% with ****ing pom-poms. Rah-****ing-rah-****ing-hoorah. But the idea that a man can be so insecure enough to completely ignore the perfectly NORMAL action of 21 year olds hitting the bars with other friends that are just turning 21 is just ****ing ludichrist and paranoid.

Now if this guys post indicated that maybe she started to become too busy for a lot of other crap, then I would have been right there to tell him to move on as well. But I'm not seeing it. Not so far anyway.

I have been the guy that has attracted women with boyfriends too. And I get a lot of them because of thier boyfriend's insecurities.

 

[Last Man Standing]

She is cheating on you - guaranteed!!!!

You are being disrespected!!!