Gf going distant. Time for me to be more distant?

[TARKUS]

How many men here have told you it's over? Almost every single one. Girlfriends don't act this way for no reason, guess you will have to find out the hard way if you are legit.

 

[The North Dragon]

Really good post and I believe what you say because I did chase a girl before and it let to disaster and me being pathetic.

I have taken everyone's advice here and we haven't spoken in nearly two days. Just sucks from someone who used to text you all the time to pull away with an explanation! Fukcs with your head!

 

[The North Dragon]

I still have clothes and a few other belongings still at hers. She only stays 2 minutes away but do I text her and ask to come round or just show up incase she it ignores it? She will be going to work soon.

 

[G_Govan]

The idea is to withdraw without making it seem like you're doing it on purpose. If she has things of yours you need just go get them and pretend everything is ok. When you leave it's back to NC.

 

[The North Dragon]

The idea is to withdraw without making it seem like you're doing it on purpose. If she has things of yours you need just go get them and pretend everything is ok. When you leave it's back to NC.

That's exactly what I have been doing. I haven't heard anything in two days now. Still trying to be up beat and see friends and be happy. Posting pics with mates having a good time acting like nothing is wrong. I know she will be in tomorrow morning so should probably pop round n get my things.

I feel it may be awkward though as we haven't spoke in two days so both know something is up?

 

[EbbsAndFlows]

I still have clothes and a few other belongings still at hers. She only stays 2 minutes away but do I text her and ask to come round or just show up incase she it ignores it? She will be going to work soon.

If the items are actually valuable, then go for it, otherwise just let it go. I think a lot of guys think they can use stuff left as pawns, and maybe some can, but it might just be better to say "whatever" and go true NC.

That's exactly what I have been doing. I haven't heard anything in two days now. Still trying to be up beat and see friends and be happy. Posting pics with mates having a good time acting like nothing is wrong. I know she will be in tomorrow morning so should probably pop round n get my things.

I feel it may be awkward though as we haven't spoke in two days so both know something is up?

Every situation is only as awkward as you make it. If you're anxious, stressed, worried, uncertain, whatever, you probably should do yourself a favor and stay away. If you legit don't care, genuinely interested in the stuff at her place, and can handle yourself appropriately while making the transaction, then go for it I suppose.

 

[JoeMarron]

That's exactly what I have been doing. I haven't heard anything in two days now. Still trying to be up beat and see friends and be happy. Posting pics with mates having a good time acting like nothing is wrong. I know she will be in tomorrow morning so should probably pop round n get my things.

I feel it may be awkward though as we haven't spoke in two days so both know something is up?

I'd be prepared for a breakup conversation. You haven't spoken in 2 days and you're going to her house to pick up all your stuff. She's going to know something is up. If you aren't ready for that conversation then don't bother yet.

 

[The North Dragon]

Update *

Tonight I went out with friends and after her work she phoned me 3 times and tried to facebook me a few times. She asked why I didn't answer the phone to her and then said ' are you just going to ignore me forever' . At this point I was with another girl and I replied hour later saying ' yeah just with the boys dancin off and sheet' she replied ' sounds fun ' but I guess that her was her starting to panick!

 

[EbbsAndFlows]

Update *

Tonight I went out with friends and after her work she phoned me 3 times and tried to facebook me a few times. She asked why I didn't answer the phone to her and then said ' are you just going to ignore me forever' . At this point I was with another girl and I replied hour later saying ' yeah just with the boys dancin off and sheet' she replied ' sounds fun ' but I guess that her was her starting to panick!

She must have some interest still. Just don't get your hopes up. Girls will still contact a bit even with critically low interest, and break-up still may be inevitable. I'd say keep doing what you're doing. If you meet-up, don't even acknowledge you haven't seen each other for a few days.

 

[TARKUS]

Update *

Tonight I went out with friends and after her work she phoned me 3 times and tried to facebook me a few times. She asked why I didn't answer the phone to her and then said ' are you just going to ignore me forever' . At this point I was with another girl and I replied hour later saying ' yeah just with the boys dancin off and sheet' she replied ' sounds fun ' but I guess that her was her starting to panick!

Just ignore anything she sends you. It's just AWing from her she still gave you a cold 2 word reply to your text.

 

[The North Dragon]

I didn't reply after she text me that.

I know someone said don't get my hopes up but I kind of did and thought this was the start of her crawling back. Was doi quite well the past 2 days not thinking of her but today has kind of got to me and I know I'm over thinking the situation. Finding it a bit hard to keep myself busy to.

I don't want to just leave my things at hers either if she does just decide to bail.

Sucks man.

 

[JoeMarron]

You don't have to reply to every text but I still don't think ignoring her is necessary. If you're gonna do that then you might as well just break up with her. NC is for cutting a chick out of your life for good.

 

[The North Dragon]

You don't have to reply to every text but I still don't think ignoring her is necessary. If you're gonna do that then you might as well just break up with her. NC is for cutting a chick out of your life for good.

I've been sticking with NC for couple days now. I don't know why she started she started texting and phoning last night out of the blue. She was acting worried.

She text me again today saying ' right seriously what is going on'?

Haven't replied as of yet but of course she knows what's going on its her that started pulling away.

 

[asa_don]

I didn't reply after she text me that.

I know someone said don't get my hopes up but I kind of did and thought this was the start of her crawling back. Was doi quite well the past 2 days not thinking of her but today has kind of got to me and I know I'm over thinking the situation. Finding it a bit hard to keep myself busy to.

I don't want to just leave my things at hers either if she does just decide to bail.

Sucks man.

go over and get you stuff from her place, how hard can it be? you want her to come crawling back because you think everything is going to be all better, sorry to say that it wont be. girls hate to be ignored even when they are treating you sh1tty, they can't stand not being at the center of your attention, when you go back to trying to fix things with her, she is going to start treating you the same way again when give give her the attention she wants. get over her, move on to where you don't have to play these games.

 

[EbbsAndFlows]

go over and get you stuff from her place, how hard can it be? you want her to come crawling back because you think everything is going to be all better, sorry to say that it wont be. girls hate to be ignored even when they are treating you sh1tty, they can't stand not being at the center of your attention, when you go back to trying to fix things with her, she is going to start treating you the same way again when give give her the attention she wants. get over her, move on to where you don't have to play these games.

This. This. This. 1000 times this.

OP, your gut has already told you it's done for. Your mind is overanalyzing now and contesting your one source of truth: your gut.

In a relationship as young as yours, with the games you're having to play to make it sorta work, it just doesn't have a chance.

I think most of us have been in a relationship where we had to 100% game 24/7 to make it barely survive. It shouldn't be like that. You might keep it going a bit longer, but it's a matter of time, in my opinion.

Talk to her if do it with clarity, tell her you've been busy, bring up that she's been acting funny ONLY if you can do it with a totally chill, indifferent mindset, and be ready to walk away.

 

[In2theGame]

I've been sticking with NC for couple days now. I don't know why she started she started texting and phoning last night out of the blue. She was acting worried.

She text me again today saying ' right seriously what is going on'?

Haven't replied as of yet but of course she knows what's going on its her that started pulling away.

What did i say in my earlier previous post?.....

She is planning on breaking up with you. DO NOT FVCKING REPLY ANYMORE. PERIOD.

Also.... This WILL cause her to go in a bit of a panic and begin texting/calling you in a frantic emotional outburst. DO NOT FALL FOR THIS SH!T.

LoL She is feeling like shes losing ground on you thats why. Dont answer her calls/text, Dont answer her calls/texts, Dont answer her calls/text.... I could repeat this sh!t all damn day dude. Ive been through this already as well as many many guys i know. Women become predictable if you play the chess board right and checkmate their ass.

 

[The North Dragon]

*update*

Went round to get my things and we ended up having talk.

She said she was really upset with her living conditions and the fact she had no job. And that we have been drifting apart recently. Said I've been nagging her a lot which I have because I want her to stop smoking.

But I spoke to her about how she can't just into ghost mode when she has problems. If she's upset or has problems she needs to communicate them with me because I am not a mind reader.

After talking about what happened she burst out crying saying she missed me and loved me.

Think I need to work on myself a bit and keeping myself busy so I become a bit less needy.

 

[jay07]

Yep, cept when gf who love you are having rough times they usually dont umm, IGNORE YOU FOR 2 DAMN DAYS, THEY BLOW YOU UP SO YOU CAN LISTEN TO THEIR PROBLEMS.

 

[The North Dragon]

Yep, cept when gf who love you are having rough times they usually dont umm, IGNORE YOU FOR 2 DAMN DAYS, THEY BLOW YOU UP SO YOU CAN LISTEN TO THEIR PROBLEMS.

She's very strong girl and been through a lot in her life with family problems and moving around a lot when she was younger. When she has problems she usually keeps to herself.

Her words were that she didn't feel wanted anymore. I know have been slacking as of late though by moaning but like I said before I am going to continue working on myself and keep an eye on her actions .

If she begins to act shady like that again I will just end it. I am going to give it the benefit of the doubt because I know she definitely isn't got someone on the back burner.

 

[asa_don]

She's very strong girl and been through a lot in her life with family problems and moving around a lot when she was younger. When she has problems she usually keeps to herself.

Her words were that she didn't feel wanted anymore. I know have been slacking as of late though by moaning but like I said before I am going to continue working on myself and keep an eye on her actions .

If she begins to act shady like that again I will just end it. I am going to give it the benefit of the doubt because I know she definitely isn't got someone on the back burner.

you don't know who she has or doesn't have, while you're working on yourself, what is she going to be working on? a relationship works both ways, from what i observe it is one sided to where you're doing all the work. if she isn't going to change herself you will deal with her problems all the time. funny how she gets to treat you all sh1tty and makes it to be your fault to where you have to work for her. she needs to be working for you in order for you to be leading. she's leading, you're doing what she wants. all she has to do is cry and you give in to her, then when you still aren't making her feel "wanted" she can treat you even more sh1tty, her last chess move is to dump you after that.