Gf going distant. Time for me to be more distant?

[6stringer]

Yeah, ASA is right on this.
She flipped the script on you. Think about this, you are "needy" but she doesn't feel "wanted"
Does that make any sense?
She doesn't feel wanted, but you were the one trying to get her to tell her what was going on with her
Does that make sense?
She doesn't feel wanted, but its when you pay no attention to her that she wants to talk and fix things
does that make any sense?

You will do what you have to do, but she is setting you up for failure. You are in a position now that allows her to disqualify you no matter what you do. If yo pay more attention to her and kiss her feet, then you'll just be needy and unattractive. She'll have the confidence she is looking for to leave. If you become less needy, she can say that you didn't pay enough attention to her and didn't make her feel wanted enough. Either way, she gets to string you along while she finds your replacement.

My guess is she had someone on the line hoping it was something, turned out it wasn't and now wants her security blanket back.
Women love to use a guy to get over him. They will stay with you only so that they can convince themselves how wrong you are for them, they do that by setting you up for failure. Meanwhile they are rebuilding their self esteem because you become evidence that they can do better.

You will do what you need to, but 90% chance this is pretty much over and every minute spent on this relationship from here on out will drain you and fill her.

 

[Cerwin Vega]

The North Dragon, I've sent you a PM.

 

[asa_don]

6stringer gave good insight to what she is doing, she is stalling until she gets another guy roped in to dump you after.

you are set up for failure because she gets to determine what you are doing too much of or what you are not doing enough of for her.

imagine doing everything she wants and she tells you that's not enough she expected more. what about doing everything she wants and she says you have been amazing but she can't trust you to keep doing that and she's scared you will go back to how you used to be. girls said that to people i know when they tried to do what she wanted. after thsat they got dumped.

it's your call man, but i wouldn't bet my money on a girl who decides your fate in a relationship on what she feels is acceptable after she was treating you like sh1t to where you are doing everything for her while she gets to skate with no responsibility. all she has to say is that you are too needy or not doing enough and you are out. she gets to judge everythng you do under a microscope, i wouldn't go through that, you will still get dumped anyway. better to cut your losses now and start out fresh with someone else to where you don't have to play games and have a gf determine if you are good enough to still be with. she controls you and your fate.

 

[G_Govan]

Having that "talk" undid all your progress. There's a reason you're advised to pay attention to women's actions rather than their words.

Keep believing you can negotiate feelings with women and you'll continue to get played.

 

[EbbsAndFlows]

seriously though, how much more advice can we give OP?! Ive read the whole thread this morning and its in one ear and out the other..By the way im not having a dig here..been in exactly the same position, came on here for advice, ignored it and ended up learning the lesson the hard way..as will you!

Some great posts in here though. Even if your wish does become true and all this **** sorts itself out..how long until she decides to do it again. Whats done is done and its up to you now to grab the bull by the horns and do things your own way.

Best of luck OP

Gotta +1 this. Just went though this a few months back. I spent money, I spent energy, I was constantly worried and stressed, felt like I was walking on egg shells around her, overall just total emasculated beta, etc. all just to date her for another couple weeks, which make break-up that much harder.

OP, I'd say just get out of it. Get out on your terms in a cool, indifferent manner. She'll remember you the guy who handled a breakup like a man, and that's worth way more than bending yourself over for a relationship that's not working.

 

[goldengoose]

She's very strong girl and been through a lot in her life with family problems and moving around a lot when she was younger. When she has problems she usually keeps to herself.

Her words were that she didn't feel wanted anymore. I know have been slacking as of late though by moaning but like I said before I am going to continue working on myself and keep an eye on her actions .

If she begins to act shady like that again I will just end it. I am going to give it the benefit of the doubt because I know she definitely isn't got someone on the back burner.

She sure knows how to manuipulate you into being the b1tch in the relationship. She gets to act like a b1tch for over a year, then tells you she doesn't feel "wanted", then you take the blame and make excuses for her childhood. What are you going to do the next time she says she "doesn't feel wanted" and she cheats on you with some other guy as she tells you "he made me feel wanted". For the rest of the relationship it's going to be mind games and manipulation on her part. If you don't do what she wants she is going to punish you for it. You are stupid to play along with her.

People have been giving you great advice for over a year telling you this relationship won't work or it is over. You refused to listen and continue to post more threads about her sh1tty behavior. Below are the OP's from your various threads from most recent to 2 months into your relationship. This was over from the start.

Recently my gf of 1 year has been disrespecting me. She's been picking more arguements, petty ones at that, stuff that never happened in the beginning. Would always put me first for example she never had a car so I had to do all the driving. She just recently got a car and already getting excuses that she has ' this' and ' that ' to do and doesn't have time . Having out a lot more with friends and friends tagging along when doing things.

Today we fell out and I have just had enough, after she dropped me off at home I haven't spoken to her except ask what she was doing and she wasn't going out drinking. I confronted her ' so we fell out and haven't made up and you would rather go out drinking?' .

So after that discussion I haven't spoke or text her....she text me twice and phoned me twice.... I haven't responded. Wouldn't know what to say anyway. Told me she was going to another town for a drink and won't have signal to text however I logged onto Facebook and seen she was online on her mobile?

What do, just keep the distance for time being?

Have only been dating 3 months but this has happened a few times now.

Girlfriend works at a bar at weekends and usually text back and forth . Couple times she tells me she gets hit on, she gets lots of tips, attention from loads other guys. I know all this already coz I've even told her that she's a good looking girl and expect her to get hit on a lot nd told her it doesn't bother which doesn't as long as it doesn't go any further and she's always honest n upfront.

Tonight she told me again this guy was teaching her Spanish bla bla. I was like cool, and then she kinda went ' yeah he's just this old guy bla bla' kinda seems like she's doing it to see if I'am jealous?

Always kept my cool in these situations n never shown jealousy, even when she constantly tells me guys used to private mail her on facebook before we started dating.

I know I ain't the only guy this is happened with but was wondering how you every1 else dealt with it? I ain't jealous just wondering why she would even want to tell me about these things in the first place?

We've been together nearly 2 months and everything is fine and get on great except one small thing .

We when started going out she said she would rather not display our relationship on Facebook as. She didn't want anyone interfering n sh1t like that. I thought about it and agreed.

Well today I went through her photos and found some of her Ex still there ( haven't confronted her about this, don't know if I should) surely they should be gone no? I also remember her going through her phone and looking at photos with me then bam but into photos of her ex yet again and said ' I really need to delete some photos on here' but dunno of she did .

I also know she has a ton of guys facebook messaging her daily and she asked if it bothered me and I told her no. Surely the sensible thing her to do what be to put 'in a relationship with me' to stop these pricks messaging her constant. Or to just delete the whole god dam facebook.

Like I say I haven't mentioned anything yet but do I sound reasonable or am I overreacting ? Is just because off all the small things that add up n begin to make up stories in my head.

 

[DonGorgon]

you need to convert her into a Fbuddy now!!! turn shallow and flirty and F her as hard as you can with no emotion.. then say you have to go do some random stuff but don't give details and tell her you will call her later but don't ... ignore her calls and texts then the next day contact her and act like all is fine and suggest you two hang out and F again... hats all she is now .. a F buddy

 

[jay07]

Next week hell be back with

" bros my babe says she has a disease where if she doesnt have sex with other guys she will die how do i not get jealous"

 

[Tiguere]

you need to convert her into a Fbuddy now!!! turn shallow and flirty and F her as hard as you can with no emotion.. then say you have to go do some random stuff but don't give details and tell her you will call her later but don't ... ignore her calls and texts then the next day contact her and act like all is fine and suggest you two hang out and F again... hats all she is now .. a F buddy

Never advice an emotionally attached man to turn his girl into a fvck buddy.

 

[goldengoose]

you need to convert her into a Fbuddy now!!! turn shallow and flirty and F her as hard as you can with no emotion.. then say you have to go do some random stuff but don't give details and tell her you will call her later but don't ... ignore her calls and texts then the next day contact her and act like all is fine and suggest you two hang out and F again... hats all she is now .. a F buddy

This is terrible advice. This guy is has invested more into this than just an F buddy. Also, women who disrespect their man cut off the sex. There will be no F buddy relationship expecially when she controls his emotions and the dynamic of this relationship. She is planning on dumping him, not fvcking him, She will have another guy for that. Wake up.

 

[VikingKing]

This is terrible advice. This guy is has invested more into this than just an F buddy. Also, women who disrespect their man cut off the sex. There will be no F buddy relationship expecially when she controls his emotions and the dynamic of this relationship. She is planning on dumping him, not fvcking him, She will have another guy for that. Wake up.

If op is strong enough he can. She is still emotionally attached also, all he has to do is break up with her, wait a week or two before he starts to respond to her texts or calls, and just bang, withdrawl, bang, withdrawl.

If he can handle it.

 

[goldengoose]

If op is strong enough he can. She is still emotionally attached also, all he has to do is break up with her, wait a week or two before he starts to respond to her texts or calls, and just bang, withdrawl, bang, withdrawl.

If he can handle it.

All your advice revolves around the word "if".

She is emotionally detaching with her bvllsh1t and knows how to manipulate him. When she has no intentions of banging it isn't going to work out too well for him.

Another thing, there is no need to play games with her when he can be banging a chick who gives him pvssy at the snap of his finger and doesn't manupulate him in the process. It's been over a year to where he put up with her sh1t, enough is enough, move on It isn't going to get any better.

Your self respect and dignity come first before a wet hole, those are dime a dozen.