Gf going distant. Time for me to be more distant?

[The North Dragon]

I feel if I do go and speak to her about this now I have a gut feeling she's not gonna feel the same and possibly try end it because I've been going distant from her when she might have needed me. But then I think if she cared she would come to me her with problems. I could be completely wrong mind due.

Last time I was in this situation I was AFC and was another guy and somehow got her back but not for long and happened a few times and ended.

 

[goldengoose]

Lol I'm not asking dude to kiss her ass for months on end. I'm simply telling him to try to get her to open up and say what the issue is. This takes one conversation. Sure the most likely scenario is that she has low interest which is why I suggested that he does what everyone else said if this doesn't work. However, OP did say it happened out of the blue so there's a chance it could be something else. Who knows; she could be depressed but doesn't want to talk about it, she could be upset about something that it easily resolved, a loved one could have died and she's still dealing with the grief, she could have cancer and is too afraid to tell OP lol. The point is OP loses nothing by doing this. It's just one simple act of kindness to a girl he's been seeing for a year and a half. It doesn't make any sense to throw away that much of an investment when something as simple as a good conversation could potentially fix.

You're just assuming a bunch of stuff here LOL. She wouldn't be cold with him if it was something else bothering her. She would be depressed but still need him there, not ignoring the guy being cold.

She is the one throwing it away because she is the one who went distant. If it wasn't for her being distant, this relationship would still be going. Pulling back will show him her true intentions. When he doesn't hear a peep out of her, he will get his answer. I don't get this guy, he talks about going distant, then he wants to have a talk with her.

I've seen chicks dump guys out of the blue. They play both sides of the tracks. Attending to the boyfriend and locking up the new guy at the same time. Then one day they they go distant and then it's over. The guy never saw it coming. He can talk to her all he wants, but if she is serious about dumping him, he won't get the answers he wants. She will tell him "she wants a break" or that this isn't working. Chicks do that when men confront.

But if she is texting another dude wouldn't she be more shady about it? For ex when we saw each other on Tuesday she was texting one of her good friends right in front of my face and kept her phone open didn't exactly hide or anything?

Do you think she is going to show you texts she is texting to another guy? haha. She is going to show you want she wants you to see, which is nothing so she doesn't look bad.

Just don't understand how it got to this? Tuesday I still had her laughing and having a good time and sex was good. She lost her job about 2 months ago an only does part time, lives in a tiny small room in her flat and has low income and in a small amount of debit and is obviously home sick. Could all this not play a factor?

I dated a girl who went through worse sh1t than this and she didn't go distant on me. If this was a factor, she would want you around more, not going distant from you.

I feel if I do go and speak to her about this now I have a gut feeling she's not gonna feel the same and possibly try end it because I've been going distant from her when she might have needed me. But then I think if she cared she would come to me her with problems. I could be completely wrong mind due.

Last time I was in this situation I was AFC and was another guy and somehow got her back but not for long and happened a few times and ended.

You're still an AFC because you are going on fear. If she is totally in love with you, going distant isn't going to make her leave you for another guy. She will be trying harder to keep you if she fears a loss of you. She would be scared to lose you. If you go distant and you hear nothing from her, it's over dude.

 

[JoeMarron]

I've seen chicks dump guys out of the blue. They play both sides of the tracks. Attending to the boyfriend and locking up the new guy at the same time. Then one day they they go distant and then it's over. The guy never saw it coming. He can talk to her all he wants, but if she is serious about dumping him, he won't get the answers he wants. She will tell him "she wants a break" or that this isn't working. Chicks do that when men confront.

The key word is if. We don't know what her reason is. I don't see a reason for him to be so quick to throw away a 1.5 year investment when talking to her takes minimal effort. It doesn't have to be a confrontation, just a general concern for her well being. "Hey babe, you've seemed a bit off these past couple weeks. Are you feeling ok? You know you can talk to me if something's bothering you."

I feel if I do go and speak to her about this now I have a gut feeling she's not gonna feel the same and possibly try end it because I've been going distant from her when she might have needed me. But then I think if she cared she would come to me her with problems. I could be completely wrong mind due.

More speculation. Stop worrying about being AFC and just sit her ass down and talk to her. If she still cares about you then she'll open up. If she doesn't give a damn then you know it's over and you can dip out. You have nothing to lose by talking to her. Talk to her and you may get to the bottom of this and turn the relationship around. Just walk away and you have a 100% chance of the relationship being over.

 

[goldengoose]

The key word is if. We don't know what her reason is. I don't see a reason for him to be so quick to throw away a 1.5 year investment when talking to her takes minimal effort. It doesn't have to be a confrontation, just a general concern for her well being. "Hey babe, you've seemed a bit off these past couple weeks. Are you feeling ok? You know you can talk to me if something's bothering you."

He's still confronting the problem that she is causing.

Does she care about his well being with her behavior? He already showed his concern and tried that with her and got nothing out of it but silence. Look at that below. He gave her an opening and she ignored him.

I have pulled back but she text me after she finished work at half -2 last night and I was asleep so didn't reply. I relied next day after I finished college stating I had finished college and said you ok? She replied an hour later saying ' yeah I just woke up'. Gave me nothing to work with so I just replied ' cool'. Last I have heard from her today.

She wrote a status on Facebook earlier saying' wish I won the lottery so I could visit home ( South Africa) she currently lives in U.K as do I. What's up with that?

She is thinking about going home and not caring about this guy.


Talking to her when she is cold is going to give him more cold answers. Going distant will either show him this relationship is over or she will fear losing him to where she will reach out to him. But don't count on that happening. He already asked her if she was ok, she continued being cold with silence. The more he tries to reach out, the more she is gong to pull away. That's what he should avoid if he still wants to hang on with her. He might get back with her, but the root of the problem will still be there to cause problems later on. Bascially, it would be a waste of time to do that anyway because it still will end.

Me and golden goose are compiling a list of threads with guys that take women at their word or give them every benefit of the doubt and just wind up with egg on their face.

I know who comes in at #1 hahaha. Thanks for posting that quote about the other dude. I totally missed that. Can't believe the OP can't put 2 and 2 together with this one.

The only recent fight we had was when a guy she saw for 2 weeks,way before me and her started dating, sent a snapchat and I flipped big time which I shouldn't have but we made up and everything was fine. This was about 2 weeks ago.

However she did lie to me saying she didn't know who it was from but I knew exactly who it was and caught and she owned up straight away claiming that ' she didn't want me getting pissed off'

She's lying to you about another guy she saw before you, you 2 got in a fight over him, she admitted she lied so you wouldn't get pissed off. Then you wonder why she is distant and cold towards you? This is the dude she is talking to when she is being distant with you. She doesn't want anymore fights with you until she dumps you. Wake up. Stick a fork in this relationship.

 

[6stringer]

I agree with the majority here.. Women going distant like that is THE sign that it is over. In a way, you are lucky, a girl with better game would have you thinking everything was cool right up until she pulled the rug out from under you. This one is showing her hand, don't pretend you don't see it and ignore it.

If you have doubts think of it this way- lets say she is depressed and homesick and whatever else.. Do you think a person basically not communicating her issues is a keeper? Whats going to happen down the road when life gets her down? Even if she is just the type of person who withdraws when she is down, you can not build a meaningful relationship with a woman like that because life will always have its ups and downs. Do you really want to spend your life with a woman who witholds and withdraws?

 

[asa_don]

the fat lady is already starting to sing with this one. leave her and keep your dignity, she will take that too if you choose to hash it out with her.

 

[jay07]

AFC town - population, 100

Youve been dating one out of the 49 other chicks in this smsll town for two years. Everythings awesome, perfect relationship everyday.

Well, a bunch of investors decide afc town has a bunch of oil under it, and its perfect location between the 4 interstates. You wake up and population 100 magically goes up to population 5000.

So you take the new bus route to work because your car broke down. And on the bus ride a chick youve never seen before, hot as hell, sits next to you and makes small talk since shes new here. You cant help but notice her tits are huge and shes wearing a g-string. You wanna take her to the nearest new motel but your innocent gf is at home and you could never cheat.

So you get off the bus thinking "damn, if only i was single". Then, the new gas station next to your work has a bunch of models doing a bikini car wash. There shirts are wet and you get a peep show. BUT NO, YOU LOOK AWAY! Your sweet girlfriend is at home waiting for you!

So you see the same chick from the bus again the next day and your marketing business is perfect for her business cards she needs. An innocent number exhange ensues. But 2 days later shes texting you non business conversations. And your laughing and your mind is going a hundred directions. Your chick is texting you but your breezing over it and forgetting to respond because your mind is venturing into new territory, not that its going to lead to anything. Its just a little ego boost. Its new.

Then you text your girl back "sorry babe didnt see you texted, hows your day?"

Only this time, she too is taking forever to respond. And now whats going through your head? Thats right, maybe your perfect chick met someone on her bus route who shes into as well. So she asks you "hey, are you seeing someone else? You used to always reply to my texts!"

ARE YOU GONNA TELL HER YOUVE BEEN MENTALLY F@!$#ing BUS CHICK AND YOU ARE GETTING DRINKS WITH HER THIS FRIDAY? NO YOUR NOT!

guess what dude, shes gonna tell you wtf you wanna hear until she realizes mr. Suave the fireman is committed to her, and at that point your in the history books!

Next time she texts you ignore her. The when she texts you again 3 days later, you respond "who is this i got a new phone".

 

[The North Dragon]

Ok guys great advice being given here really appreciate it. Not disagreeing with anyone is saying and I will back however just don't think reality has hit home yet n gonna take a while to sink it.

 

[TARKUS]

Ok guys great advice being given here really appreciate it. Not disagreeing with anyone is saying and I will back however just don't think reality has hit home yet n gonna take a while to sink it.

Let it sink it quick. Reminds of my former ex when things were going downhill between us about how she went distant after this guy she dated for a month came back in the picture. Found out she was lying about talking to him for 3 weeks after we had an argument things were never the same except for one week where she seemed like she was like she used be. After that she went stone cold and I barely heard from her I knew it was that other guy that was messing things betwen us. I didn't want him to steal her away I tried hard to keep her after that I thought why bother if she doesn't want me. Come to find out she was hooking up with him during the time she was distant.

 

[The North Dragon]

How can I not let this happen in the future? I have made a decision never to let a woman fukc me over again. I saw no sign giving off by this girl after 1.5 years except being distant.

I am completely going ghost for now and not contacting . Won't reply to any attempt until I know if it benefits me. If she contacts saying ' we need to talk' she will get this from me ' I don't have anything to say, this isn't what I want , see you around' then NC

 

[asa_don]

I am completely going ghost for now and not contacting . Won't reply to any attempt until I know if it benefits me. If she contacts saying ' we need to talk' she will get this from me ' I don't have anything to say, this isn't what I want , see you around' then NC

don't say 'this isn't what i want', if you feel so inclined to speak with her tell her straight out "there are certain things i expect from a girlfriend that you aren't doing. i don't think this is going to work out with us, we are on different levels." that should be it nothing more, nothing less. then move on, you deserve better.

 

[The North Dragon]

She is thinking about going home and not caring about this soon can guarantee that.

definitely not going home as she has no savings and works part time 10 hours max so I know this is BS and just trying to make me jelly.



She's lying to you about another guy she saw before you, you 2 got in a fight over him, she admitted she lied so you wouldn't get pissed off. Then you wonder why she is distant and cold towards you? This is the dude she is talking to when she is being distant with you. She doesn't want anymore fights with you until she dumps you. Wake up. Stick a fork in this relationship.[/QUOTE]

(Definitely not going or texting this guy either there were only meeting with each other for 2 weeks when she was with her last ex about 2-3 years ago, so probably branching to him and went back to ex. )

No communication or remotely any hints on Facebook about them two even liking each other.

 

[Charmaine]

It seems strange that most guys would be so quickly jumping into a conclusion that if the girl is going distant, there must be another guy behind it.

Girls go distant for various reasons. That is simply one of the possibilities and by no means the only reason. :nono:

 

[The North Dragon]

It seems strange that most guys would be so quickly jumping into a conclusion that if the girl is going distant, there must be another guy behind it.

Girls go distant for various reasons. That is simply one of the possibilities and by no means the only reason. :nono:

What else could it possibly be? I asked her what was she and she said she was fine and asked why I asked her.

 

[JoeMarron]

Ok, see I have actually had this conversation before. Its painful. Its brutal. You won't live it down for a while. You will get mind fvcked and lied to. Your mind will get cloudy. No reason whatsoever to put yourself through it.

Joe, unfortunately you are speculating here using male logic and perspective, which is admirable. But by gut instinct and experience the rest of us know what is going on here. It seems counter intuitive, but you are actually the one speculating since you clearly dont have the grav eyard of bad breakups that we have to draw from as experience. Me and golden goose are compiling a list of threads with guys that take women at their word or give them every benefit of the doubt and just wind up with egg on their face. Unfortunately you made the list my man. http://www.sosuave.net/forum/search....archid=1831669 $$$

Hah you're right. I am speculating based on what I think a decent chick would react to. I don't have experience with dealing with a chick going distant. Well actually I do, my chick has pulled this on me a few times. The difference is instead of pouting for weeks on end she came to me, apologized for her behavior, said what was wrong and we resolved it, simple as that. OP's girl isn't mature enough or simply doesn't care enough to do that.

I agree with the majority here.. Women going distant like that is THE sign that it is over. In a way, you are lucky, a girl with better game would have you thinking everything was cool right up until she pulled the rug out from under you. This one is showing her hand, don't pretend you don't see it and ignore it.

If you have doubts think of it this way- lets say she is depressed and homesick and whatever else.. Do you think a person basically not communicating her issues is a keeper? Whats going to happen down the road when life gets her down? Even if she is just the type of person who withdraws when she is down, you can not build a meaningful relationship with a woman like that because life will always have its ups and downs. Do you really want to spend your life with a woman who witholds and withdraws?

Excellent point. This made me think about the situation that I described to PairPlusRoyalFlush. OP fvck what I said. This chick is being silly instead of discussing her issues like an adult. Or like the others have said she may be creeping with some other dude. Disengage immediately. I wouldn't go as far as full NC, I still don't think you should be so quick to throw this away, but pull back, start planning your exit strategy and start talking to other women.

 

[Night-hawk]

She's only special until she is irrelevant; until she is a non-significant entity...how long until you make that so.

 

[goldengoose]

Been going for 1.5 years and been really god but out of nowhere she's becoming distant.

OP, you are lying. Quit being an idiot. You've been writing for over a year about this girlfriend disrespecting you and treating you like sh1t. I just read some of your old posts. Talking about other guys hitting on her, talking with ex's on facebook, acting cold in texts. This isn't something that just happened out of the blue. This has been going on since the beginning. People have been wasting their time giving you good advice for months on what to do. You just ignored them all the way. No way would a relationship last that long under these conditions, which leads me to believe that you are a troll.

She is thinking about going home and not caring about this soon can guarantee that.

definitely not going home as she has no savings and works part time 10 hours max so I know this is BS and just trying to make me jelly.



She's lying to you about another guy she saw before you, you 2 got in a fight over him, she admitted she lied so you wouldn't get pissed off. Then you wonder why she is distant and cold towards you? This is the dude she is talking to when she is being distant with you. She doesn't want anymore fights with you until she dumps you. Wake up. Stick a fork in this relationship.

(Definitely not going or texting this guy either there were only meeting with each other for 2 weeks when she was with her last ex about 2-3 years ago, so probably branching to him and went back to ex. )

No communication or remotely any hints on Facebook about them two even liking each other.[/QUOTE]


You are an idiot or a troll.

It seems strange that most guys would be so quickly jumping into a conclusion that if the girl is going distant, there must be another guy behind it.

Girls go distant for various reasons. That is simply one of the possibilities and by no means the only reason. :nono:

It is not strange when his previous posts mentions other guys she is involved with.

 

[The North Dragon]

OP, you are lying. Quit being an idiot. You've been writing for over a year about this girlfriend disrespecting you and treating you like sh1t. I just read some of your old posts. Talking about other guys hitting on her, talking with ex's on facebook, acting cold in texts. This isn't something that just happened out of the blue. This has been going on since the beginning. People have been wasting their time giving you good advice for months on what to do. You just ignored them all the way. No way would a relationship last that long under these conditions, which leads me to believe that you are a troll.




(Definitely not going or texting this guy either there were only meeting with each other for 2 weeks when she was with her last ex about 2-3 years ago, so probably branching to him and went back to ex. )

No communication or remotely any hints on Facebook about them two even liking each other.

You are an idiot or a troll.

yeah other guys have hit on her bum oat girls do get hit on when in a relationship and I




It is not strange when his previous posts mentions other guys she is involved with.[/QUOTE]


no you have mis understood . The gut that snapchatted her wasn't even an ex. Just some guy she monkey branched to after her pervious ex but ended going back with ex.
Yeah she got hit on by guys won't deny that but I tried to deal with it in a mature way hence the reason I came on here rather than moan at her.

Troll? No some pathetic individual going on the internet attention seeking from some random dudes, just here to seek advice. Yes I may not take your advice straight away but I bet you never did either the first time.

 

[gravityeyelids]

I'm going to agree with most of what is being said in this thread. She is becoming distant. You said this. What other reason would there be. Whether or not she is currently cheating is irrelevant. The relationship is essentially over

You are going to rationalize this in any way you can because that is what the human mind does. It tries to convince itself of what it wants to believe.

You need to realize that the face she has been putting on (yes for one and a half YEARS) is NOT who she really is. There is a completely different person deep down in every girl. Once you being to see this in every girl, it can be depressing and shocking and eye-opening. Your little princess is NOT an exception. I'm not saying that she is a cheating wh0re NECESSARILY. Just know that she is perfectly capable of the following things:
1) Putting on a pretty little innocent face while lying to you
2) Pretending everything is alright and telling you shes okay when it's not alright, and shes not okay.
3) Talking to and/or seeing another guy behind your back. You are blinded by her love and are unable to think rationally and clearly.

Girls are incredibly, horrendously sneaky. There's a saying that goes "Girls cheat as much as (or more than) guys...they are simply better at hiding it. Never forget the fact that this precious, lovely woman who sucks your d!ck and calls you sweetheart and cuddles with you is capable of coldly and suddenly dropping you at a moment's notice. THIS GOES FOR EVERY WOMAN. Your girl is not the exception. She can do this because she takes the blame off of herself for what she is doing. In order for her to still see herself as a "good" person, she rationalizes ending the relationship by looking at every little tiny thing that you've done wrong, amplifying it in her head, and then saying "yea, see he's not such a great guy. I was getting bored....i deserve better". She turns the image of you into a distorted, worse version of the great guy that you are in order to rationalize leaving you. "Then why would she leave a great guy?"

This could be for a number of reasons, but primarily because she has lost attraction for you. Now a part (or most) of this is very likely your fault, and you need to come to terms with this. You probably grew complacent, doing the same activities, having the same routine sex, etc. etc. It could even be (as you said), you becoming too AFC and hanging out with her too much, or her sensing that she has the power in the relationship.

You are trying to rationalize. Stop it. You KNOW you're trying to rationalize. You're smart enough to have gotten here and posted on this board and realize you messed up. So i know you're smart enough to REALIZE that you are rationalizing this girl. "She isn't acting shady either" "She isnt hiding her phone"..do NOT underestimate girls. They will text guys RIGHT in front of you. The safest place is often right next to the danger. She is a sexual, cunning creature. She is capable of all sorts of things. Now im not NECESSARILY saying she's cheating.

But here's the tricky part...What is cheating? To me, and probably you, there is a clear line. Kissing/cuddling other guys/girls is NOT okay. Meeting up alone in an isolated place with guys/girls who arent clearly friends is NOT okay. Any more than polite banter via texting (AKA flirting) with a strange guy/girl who isnt your established friend is NOT okay. But to girls it is different. Cheating is as far as you can rationalize. Some girls would say that grinding on a random guy is not cheating. Some would say that kissing a guy is not cheating, especially if you didnt find out about it happening. Hell, i've even had a girl i know (i knew her boyfriend, he was a cool dude) drunkenly say "it's not cheating if i dont have sex, RIGHT?!" and then laugh about it. I've heard a girl say "well it's okay because i didnt love him any more." WHAT. What kind of FVCKED up logic is THAT?

Even the "good" girls who dont "actually" cheat (aka dont makeout or sleep with another guy), still usually have a guy on the back burner set and ready to go for when she dumps you. You think she just met this guy and decides to jump ship? NO. she's probably known him at least a few weeks, hung out with him a couple times, been texting him and deleting her conversations (or telling him not to send anything incriminating that you might see, so you label him as "YOU SAY HE"S JUST A FRIEND OH BABY YOUOUU"), etc.

You need to play devil's advocate for a bit and say "okay, well what IF she was capable of this" and then try to analyze her behavior from a clear-headed point of view (which is probably impossible with your feelings right now.)

Regardless of all this, the fact remains. If you chase her you will lose her. Hammer this into your god-damn, fvcking head man. You're being told this by nearly every distinguished member of the board here for a reason. It is the truth. Do NOT text her, do NOT talk to her unless you need to, and for fvck's sake do NOT text her and ask if she's okay!!! I have been there. I said the same exact fvcking thing. I asked her if she was okay. I asked her "are we cool?". Guess what happened? Go on. Guess. She said "yea, we're cool", kept withdrawing from me and then dropped my pathetic, sorry a$$ the next week.

Honestly though, there is no-one that can make a man change his own mind besides him. There is no one that can change what a man wants to do aside from himself. Regardless of how many people tell you to drop her, you probably wont. It sucks, but it's not a bad thing because it will help you to realize in a way that you probably couldn't have if you didnt mess up.

 

[In2theGame]

I'm going to agree with most of what is being said in this thread. She is becoming distant. You said this. What other reason would there be. Whether or not she is currently cheating is irrelevant. The relationship is essentially over

You are going to rationalize this in any way you can because that is what the human mind does. It tries to convince itself of what it wants to believe.

You need to realize that the face she has been putting on (yes for one and a half YEARS) is NOT who she really is. There is a completely different person deep down in every girl. Once you being to see this in every girl, it can be depressing and shocking and eye-opening. Your little princess is NOT an exception. I'm not saying that she is a cheating wh0re NECESSARILY. Just know that she is perfectly capable of the following things:
1) Putting on a pretty little innocent face while lying to you
2) Pretending everything is alright and telling you shes okay when it's not alright, and shes not okay.
3) Talking to and/or seeing another guy behind your back. You are blinded by her love and are unable to think rationally and clearly.

Girls are incredibly, horrendously sneaky. There's a saying that goes "Girls cheat as much as (or more than) guys...they are simply better at hiding it. Never forget the fact that this precious, lovely woman who sucks your d!ck and calls you sweetheart and cuddles with you is capable of coldly and suddenly dropping you at a moment's notice. THIS GOES FOR EVERY WOMAN. Your girl is not the exception. She can do this because she takes the blame off of herself for what she is doing. In order for her to still see herself as a "good" person, she rationalizes ending the relationship by looking at every little tiny thing that you've done wrong, amplifying it in her head, and then saying "yea, see he's not such a great guy. I was getting bored....i deserve better". She turns the image of you into a distorted, worse version of the great guy that you are in order to rationalize leaving you. "Then why would she leave a great guy?"

This could be for a number of reasons, but primarily because she has lost attraction for you. Now a part (or most) of this is very likely your fault, and you need to come to terms with this. You probably grew complacent, doing the same activities, having the same routine sex, etc. etc. It could even be (as you said), you becoming too AFC and hanging out with her too much, or her sensing that she has the power in the relationship.

You are trying to rationalize. Stop it. You KNOW you're trying to rationalize. You're smart enough to have gotten here and posted on this board and realize you messed up. So i know you're smart enough to REALIZE that you are rationalizing this girl. "She isn't acting shady either" "She isnt hiding her phone"..do NOT underestimate girls. They will text guys RIGHT in front of you. The safest place is often right next to the danger. She is a sexual, cunning creature. She is capable of all sorts of things. Now im not NECESSARILY saying she's cheating.

But here's the tricky part...What is cheating? To me, and probably you, there is a clear line. Kissing/cuddling other guys/girls is NOT okay. Meeting up alone in an isolated place with guys/girls who arent clearly friends is NOT okay. Any more than polite banter via texting (AKA flirting) with a strange guy/girl who isnt your established friend is NOT okay. But to girls it is different. Cheating is as far as you can rationalize. Some girls would say that grinding on a random guy is not cheating. Some would say that kissing a guy is not cheating, especially if you didnt find out about it happening. Hell, i've even had a girl i know (i knew her boyfriend, he was a cool dude) drunkenly say "it's not cheating if i dont have sex, RIGHT?!" and then laugh about it. I've heard a girl say "well it's okay because i didnt love him any more." WHAT. What kind of FVCKED up logic is THAT?

Even the "good" girls who dont "actually" cheat (aka dont makeout or sleep with another guy), still usually have a guy on the back burner set and ready to go for when she dumps you. You think she just met this guy and decides to jump ship? NO. she's probably known him at least a few weeks, hung out with him a couple times, been texting him and deleting her conversations (or telling him not to send anything incriminating that you might see, so you label him as "YOU SAY HE"S JUST A FRIEND OH BABY YOUOUU"), etc.

You need to play devil's advocate for a bit and say "okay, well what IF she was capable of this" and then try to analyze her behavior from a clear-headed point of view (which is probably impossible with your feelings right now.)

Regardless of all this, the fact remains. If you chase her you will lose her. Hammer this into your god-damn, fvcking head man. You're being told this by nearly every distinguished member of the board here for a reason. It is the truth. Do NOT text her, do NOT talk to her unless you need to, and for fvck's sake do NOT text her and ask if she's okay!!! I have been there. I said the same exact fvcking thing. I asked her if she was okay. I asked her "are we cool?". Guess what happened? Go on. Guess. She said "yea, we're cool", kept withdrawing from me and then dropped my pathetic, sorry a$$ the next week.

Honestly though, there is no-one that can make a man change his own mind besides him. There is no one that can change what a man wants to do aside from himself. Regardless of how many people tell you to drop her, you probably wont. It sucks, but it's not a bad thing because it will help you to realize in a way that you probably couldn't have if you didnt mess up.

For a guy in his early 20's, This is a very solid post and on point.