gf goes out with male friend...

[chance]

just recently my gf told me she was going to meet up with her male friend she's known for a while to go into the city. i'm not suspicious or anything. don't know why it's bothering me.. not much just a little. probably because i don't hang out with other girls. i don't really want to either. i just like to hang out with my gf cause she's a cool person and i had a hard time finding a girl like this. i don't feel the need to hang out with other girls.

just find it a TINY bit disturbing she's out with another man. but i trust her. i think i've put on enough moves to keep her craving for me.

opinions appreciated, thanks.

 

[setlur55]

I would not be too concerned, first of all she told you that she is going to meet him, your girlfriend could have also met him in secret. Second of all I know some women that will meet friends that are not their boyfriends. Unfortunately (but fortunately for you in this case) from my own negative experience women can draw a clear distinction between male friends and their boyfriends (I have never really been able to make this step). One question have you met this guy your girlfriend is meeting?

 

[chance]

nope. all i know is that shes known him for a while and before she met me. i just can't help that lil tiny bit of jealousy. them laughing together and smiling together having fun. i only want to share that stuff between us. but hey, they're just friends right? lol.

 

[setlur55]

I know the feeling, I would not be concerned if I were you however. Like I said women are different and are able to draw that line between friends and boyfriends. There are some women I know who have a large number of male friends, but their heart will only belong to their boyfriend!

 

[chance]

thanks for your words. helped me feel better

 

[bud1971]

I heartily disagree with all of the above statements. It is not natural or okay for your girlfriend to hang out with another guy. The reason you feel uneasy is that your Spidey senses are telling you something is wrong. You can suppress that and bury your head in the sand......or, trust your instincts and don't put up with that.

One thing that i notice a lot on this board that bothers me, is a lot of the statements about how if you are confident and secure in your DJness, no chick will cheat on you and that you should not care what your woman is doing behind your back. This is okay if you are playing multiple chicks....but in a relationship, you will eventually get burned.

My reason is this: To say that if you are the perfect man in a relationship, your girl will never cheat is to assume that the women you are dealing with are rational, ethical creatures who only react to your perfection or inadequacy. Therefore; if she cheats, it is your fault. In my opinion, this is faulty logic at best and in fact contradicts what the bible says about oneitis. With this line of thinking we should concentrate on one girl we like the best and treat her perfectly, and she will never leave. Not a good bet.

To me the most useful things I have learned from this board are body language cues and behavioral red flags to watch for. The bottom line is that if you are comfortable with yourself, with no apologies, most chicks will like you. But, use your skills to weed out the chicks who will gut you and leave you lying in the road prior to developing oneitis. Bro, in my opinion, your chick is already cheating on you

 

[chance]

bit harsh there. i doubt she's on her way to cheating. she's known the guy way before me and has been friends. why would she start dating me instead when she's already known him? she can't just turn around and tell him to get lost. they're friends. and i'll respect that.

 

[MidnightResistance]

You are her BF.
He is her weak male 'friend' who she uses as an emotional sponge because to whine to you about meaningless things would piss you off and she'd lose you.

No Fear

 

[Lost In Translation]

Just A Friend

need some more details

what time of day / night did she go hang out with her male friend ?

how long for ?

where did they go ?

whats wrong with her having female friends like a normal woman ?

she wants to be... ALONE with another man ?

let me school you

there was this chick. best chick i have ever met. she has a boyfriend.

now i have known this chick for ages and at one point we were close friends.

i give her the line : " lets get together some time and have a coffee "

she says : " sure but it is ok if my boyfriend comes along too ? "

CHECK MATE

that ! that my fellow don juans is a woman with integrity !


i have had women in LTR. NONE of them have ever asked or wanted to hang out with a male friend alone

EXCEPT FOR CHEATING B*TCHES

now i am not saying your woman is a cheating b*tch

riddle me this

you TELL your woman you are going to hang out ALONE with some chick

your woman gunna accept that ?

unless you woman is an ugly troll you think the bozo that asked her out is not gunna switch on the don juan ?

I HAVE NO WOMEN FRIENDS

if i take your woman out and she comes out alone GAME ON

if it is her ex or some " best friend " that hooked up once when they were drunk read the following :

Quote: Player_Supreme
“ Your woman in my opinion shouldn't be talking to an ex. It's ok to have men friends but friends whom she used to suck their dycks is not in my picture. “

now for her JUST A FRIEND

a classic by Biz Markie called Just A Friend

Have you ever met a girl that you tried to date
But a year to make love she wanted you to wait
Let me tell ya a story of my situation
I was talkin' to this girl from the U.S. nation
The way that I met her was on tour at a concert
She had long hair and a short miniskirt
I just got onstage drippin', pourin' with sweat
I was walkin' through the crowd and gues who I met
I whispered in her ear, "Come to the picture booth
So I can ask you some questions to see if you are a hundred proof"
I asked her her name, she said blah-blah-blah
She had 9/10 pants and a very big bra
I took a couple of flicks and she was enthused
I said, "How do you like the show?"
she said, "I was very amused"
I started throwin' bass, she started throwin' back mid-range
But when I sprung the question, she acted kind of strange
Then when I asked, "Do ya have a man," she tried to pretend
She said, "No I don't, I only have a friend"
Come on, I'm not even goin' for it
This is what I'm goin' sing

You, you got what I need but you say he's just a friend
And you say he's just a friend, oh baby
You, you got what I need but you say he's just a friend
But you say he's just a friend, oh baby
You, you got what I need but you say he's just a friend
But you say he's just a friend

So I took blah-blah's word for it at this time
I thought just havin' a friend couldn't be no crime
'Cause I have friends and that's a fact
Like Agnes, Agatha, Germaine, and Jacq
Forget about that, let's go into the story
About a girl named blah-blah-blah that adored me
So we started talkin', getttin' familiar
Spendin' a lot of time so we can build up
A relationship or some undderstanding
How it's gonna be in the future we was plannin'
Everything sounded so dandy and sweet
I had no idea I was in for a treat
After this was established, everything was cool
The tour was over and she went back to school
I called every day to see how she was doin'
Everytime that I called her it seemed somethin' was brewin'
I called her on my dime, picked up, and then I called again
I said, "Yo, who was that?" "Oh, he's just a friend"
Don't gimme that, don't ever gimme that
Jus' bust this

You, you got what I need but you say he's just a friend
And you say he's just a friend, oh baby
You, you got what I need but you say he's just a friend
But you say he's just a friend, oh baby
You, you got what I need but you say he's just a friend
But you say he's just a friend

So I came to her college on a surprise visit
To see my girl that was so exquisite
It was a school day, I knew she was there
The first semester of the school year
I went to a gate to ask where was her dorm
This guy made me fill out a visitor's form
He told me where it was and I as on my way
To see my baby doll, I was happy to say
I arrrived in front of the dormitory
Yo, could you tell me where is door three?
They showed me where it was for the moment
I didn't know I was in for such an event
So I came to her room and opened the door
Oh, snap! Guess what I saw?
A fella tongue-kissin' my girl in the mouth,
I was so in shock my heart went down south
So please listen to the message that I say
Don't ever talk to a girl who says she just has a friend

there's a good message in that song. b*tches lie. suss out this "friend" situation of hers out.


Lost In Translation

**AUSTRALIAN STREET PIMP**

 

[Climax]

My 2c...

Firslty... WHAT IS IT THAT THEY ARE DOING EXACTLY? If its something in the form of a date, then I would have a problem with that and tell her that its not on. If all they are doing is hanging out, catching up, and doing what friends do, then its fine.... Just make sure it doesn’t become a regular thing that your gf is going to "hang out" with other guys alone.

For now though, I wouldn’t be worried. You dont wanna make her feel like she is in a cage, let her be free to do what she wants, and see who she wants, as long as she is loyal to you, there is no problem. But there IS a limit to things, so for now, keep it cool, but if ur gf is starting to see other guys alone, then it would possibly be a cause for concern.


Laterz...

 

[b's nuts]

fvck that, if your not happy about it, why not tell her. make her submit, she is your girl, YOURS.

 

[Climax]

No...

Originally posted by b's nuts
fvck that, if your not happy about it, why not tell her. make her submit, she is your girl, YOURS.

She is not just some possesion... if u get possesive over her, you WILL lose her, I garantee you THAT much.


Laterz...

 

[b's nuts]

Re: No...

Originally posted by ~ªêQµïTª$~
She is not just some possesion... if u get possesive over her, you WILL lose her, I garantee you THAT much.


Laterz...

You obviously still don't understand how this game works. If he isn't happy with her going out alone with a guy, why the fvck should he ever submit to her to make her happy. You apparently are still learning what it is to be a man, if you want something you grab your balls and get it. If something isn' going your way, then change it. If you don't want your girl going out on the town alone with another guy, then tell her. Letting your girl do what she wants over what you want is making yourself beta to her. Have fun submitting to women, personally ill never do it again, unless its WHAT I WANT. thats the ticket right there dawg. its in women's nature to submit, it will probably make her horny, you think im making that **** up but its true.

 

[chance]

if it means anything. she told me that some guy she used to chat to who kept calling her 3am on fridays and asking her out. she told him; "sorry i'm seeing someone." that someone being me. so that made me feel alright about her with other men.

 

[b's nuts]

Originally posted by chance
if it means anything. she told me that some guy she used to chat to who kept calling her 3am on fridays and asking her out. she told him; "sorry i'm seeing someone." that someone being me. so that made me feel alright about her with other men.

so did she accept his offer then? is that why she is going out with him?

 

[Lost In Translation]

chance are you saying that the dude she is out with ALONE

is the same dude who rings her up at 3am drunk and looking for SEX ?

or possible stalker ?

please be more clear


Lost In Translation

**AUSTRALIAN STREET PIMP**

 

[Climax]

Clearing things up...

b's nuts: As diablo would normally say, do the switch around then.... Imagine there was a good chick friend of yours that u have not seen for a LONG time, and she gave u a call and told u that she wants to meet up and catch up & etc.... Whats the harm of going somewhere for maybe a lunch or something and catching up? If you are willing to leave your girl just after spending a few hours with another girl, then you obviously don’t love your girl, now DO u?

And I think that it is YOU that needs to learn what being a REAL man is.... and telling your gf that she cant meet up with a friend she hasn’t seen/spoken to for a while is possessive and controlling, making your gf feel like she is in a cage, and needs YOUR permission to do something. I was like that, YES, a while back, i would have agreed with you, but when I DID what YOU ARE TELLING chance TO DO NOW, i pushed her away, and by doing that, she ended up breaking up with me because she told me that she feels like she is trapped, like she cant do ANYTHING without having me looking over her shoulder the whole time.

I spoke to my female friends about this, and others, and they told me that I SHOULD put a stop to it, but ONLY IF she crosses a line. (e.g.: seeing this guy more than once, ALONE in a short period of time) ... If your gf loves you, then a few hours with another guy shouldn’t affect ANYTHING. And if it DOES, then obviously she didn’t love u to start off with.

So over-all, yes, there IS a limit and a point where you should step in and draw the line, but until she crosses that line, let her do what she wants to.


Laterz...

 

[Climax]

2 different guys....

Originally posted by chance
if it means anything. she told me that some guy she used to chat to who kept calling her 3am on fridays and asking her out. she told him; "sorry i'm seeing someone." that someone being me. so that made me feel alright about her with other men.

b's nuts, Lost In Translation.. the guy chance mentioned in that post is a different guy than THIS guy that we are talking about in the main thread.


Laterz...

 

[movistar]

In this situation you always have to be aware, girls that are totally into you don't want to go out with guy friends they want to be under your a$$. I've had mostly good girls and some liars the liars always had friends, and there stories never seemed quite right.

 

[chance]

Originally posted by b's nuts
so did she accept his offer then? is that why she is going out with him?

uhh no, this is another guy. not the one she's friends with who she's going to catch up with (she said maybe, she doesn't know yet cause he might be doing something else). if she doesn't see him she will see her friend (girl friend) or me as i suggested if she doesn't go out, to gimme a buzz.