GF Fvcked me over, and i flipped my sh1t

Handsfull

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Just joined this site to see some of your alls advise or opinion on what is going on with my ex gf, and If youve ever dated anyone as obsessive and crazy as this b1tch.

Ok, let me try to summaraiz this as succinctly as I can.

We had a super intense passionate, enmeshed codependant relationship. Just to be honest. I know about 4 months in that she was REALLY needy. She loved me to a suffocating degree, and it made me clostrophobic. I had talks with her on several occasions ad almost broke up with her because it was too much. I had jsut got out of an 8 year marriage, hooked up with her, and she like wants to marry me. Litterally called me THE ONE. She was 20! I told her to chill the fvck out. I love d her too, but it was not healthy. I allowed it to persist. Eventually I asked her to move out and back into her dads place some two years later. I had a ton of wor to do, was super busy and needed some space to breath. And so she did. She still stayed over ALL THE TIME and we were still together. WE did not "break up". About a month after she moved out, my granny died, so I went to take care of her for like a week. My gf ook me to and dropped me off at the airport.

Fast forward to July 4th. Night time, fireworks, Ra-ra-ra. I see her checking her phone obsessively, and bells start going off. I have really good eye sight as well. I happen to see some dudes name all over her fvcking phone. Of course she senses this.

She had started seeing another guy. Going on dates with him over the month of June, and coming back to my house literally that same night or next day, saying she had "girls night" with her friends in a baby voice, head on my shoulder, the whole 9. It was like guilt manifest, in retrospect. Anyway, I found out. Nailed her to the fvcking cross, she begged me not to break up with her, said "nothing was going on" I "lost touch with my spirituality", etc. Crazy ****. It was OBVIOUS. She layed this huge guilt trip on me. Which I bought!

After a couple days of thinking about it, I was like "yeah, we haave a lot here. I fvcked things up too during this relationship, I'm sort of to blame..." what the fvck ever. Dumb.

I take her back! She has ME apologizing to HER!! All this came out of left field for me, so I was totally amushed here. She had me reAling! Ieven bought her a ring after this showing my committment to her. Something I had NEVER done, but what she always wanted. Told her I love her unconditionally, etc. All horrible mistakes. The day after I gave her the ring whcich she said she loved, she bailed and BROKE UP WITH ME through my roomate. Blocked me on facebook, and changed her profile pic to her at a bar with a different ring on the same finger (haha) her phone number. she then told her friends and family that I had been ABUSING HER. Same thing she told me about her boyfriend before me when I found out she was cheating on him. I got super pissed about that. She apparently uses that as a tactic to get attention off of her being a *****. I mean, she spun a web of lies Satan would have been proud of. Too many to list...

Anyway, I tell her if she wants to be single, I wish her the best. She says cool. i say goodbye.

She the proceeds to try to still talk to me. Tries to take me to dinner on my bday wcich was like 3 days later. I passed. Thankfully my friends were thinking more clearly than I. They were like, "dude, wtf are you doing?" She then freaks out, beggs me to meet sith her, says she didnt break up with me, etc...it was bull****. Anyway, I TAKE HER BACAK AGAIN! I know, Im a dumbfvck. I had never been through all this drama with a girl. EVER.

She comes back. The very same day, she starts talking to another guy, no idea who the fvck he is, or was. (no idea what shes doing, NC for 7 months).

She breaks up with me 3 weeks later, after being shady and treating me like ****. SHe beat me to the punch. One reason I put up with all this **** from her is because I totally dominated the realationship. Flirted to a egregious degree. Threatened to leave numerous times. I felt guilty. I wanted to make it right. I was also REALLY hard on her. To a dregree where I could see the resentment in her eyes towards the end.

So we broke up. I threw her fvcking number away that day. She would be walking on sunshine whenever I saw her. Like she had never been happier. Meanwhile she then implemented a gameplan of psychological warfare, the likes of which I have never seen! She immediatly tried befriending all our mutual friends. She tried to isolate me totally. My friends were like constantly telling me, "saw her out again, shes with some guy"...like shoving it in my face.

Mailed a fvcking pair of panties, ordered from NHL.com to my house in what I can only imagine is the dudes team. Shes loving it.

She then finds out Christmas Eve. I have been banging one of her friends. #Gamechanger. She flips her ****. txts the girl xmas eve. clalls another frined xmas DA'Y! emails me the day after xmas with some passive aggressive bs, "hey, do i have some stuff out there?" making small talk, etc. I ignore or give one word answers.

My ex worked one day a week where the girl I was sleeping with and I worked. That is, untill she found out 4 months after we broke up that I was banging this other girl. at whcich point she turns from walking on sunshine to playing the victim. Telling the girl, she going to try t=not to 'hate her but cannot promise anything'. and strait up quitting with no notice a week later. she quits the day after she 'likes' my new profile pic on fb. after that action i delete her from fb, outright. all her **** had been blocked for months so i did not see any of her activity. i literally have no idea where she is or what she is doing. dont care.
ok, so two days after she quits the job there, she emails me, asking me if i wanted to 'work on something' at her other job with her.?? and then saying that she heard through the grape vine that i was doing great and that made her happy. ( in know through mutual friends that did not make her happy. she was super fvcking pissed)

valentines day, she texts me out of the blue for the first time since we broke up. says she dropped something off through a mutual friend. i go to see what it is and its a bill she says im responsible for. i payed for it. whatever. but on valentimes day? go eat dinner and fvck your new boyfriend. know what i mean?

what is going on with this girl. she did not seem this drama filled when we were together... please advise. hope idid not ramble too much
 

Handsfull

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sorry for typos, etc...
 

Handsfull

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not sure I really understand the BPD thread. I dont think it resonates though because, I'm not insecure, and she did not run the show. only at the end, when she got a tatse of power did the evil come out. She was really cool when we were together. And she was not trying to get out of it, I WAS truth be told.

I think she didnt want to get broken up with, so orchestrated a scenario where she could do the beaking up and "win"
 

Handsfull

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yeah, that BPD **** was not us. I owned her. but did not take advatage of that fact. when she realized though that I was also emotionally vulnerable, she butt fvcked me with a smile
 

backbreaker

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she iisn't BPD she is an immature ****, and you are just as bad as she is for puting upw tih it. when someone shows you their true colors, believe them the first time. you have NO one to blame but yourself. the fvcking stove burned you and take your hand off of the stove and then jump in the god damn oven. don't give me this bull **** about she did this or you did that. you put yourself in a fvcking position to be ****ting on by a girl who likes to **** on you and then you cry "what did i do wah, she's so mean"

youdon't have a fvcking backbone, you have no standards, you have no integrity, but you come here and act like she is the one in the wrong. she should you who she was in June and here it is what.. 7 or so months later still dealing with her. you should be on the 2nd or 3rd girl from her by now.

I'm sorry but post like this piss m e off like no other because guys take NO responsibility for their actions and then ***** about women.

yeah, there are some stupid, childish immature women out there, believe i know. BELIEVE ME. b ut when i was single, at least as I got in my 20's, when I would see a girl just act like this.. I JUST WOULD NOT DEAL WITH HER. on wednesday nights i would like to sit back and watch law and order, hopefully with a broad. I did not or refused to sit there on m off time playign childish games with women like this. if a woman is about drama (every woman is about drama, but some take it way too far).. i'm out. you can go play that with someone else. i don't have time. that's not normal women behavior and it's childish and i'm not attracted to that. I have a fvcking choice. if a girl is going to act like this you know what.. i can and will do better than this. even if it means not getting any for a few months fvck it jacking off is better and more productive than dealing with this drama fest.

then you spend all your time dealing with this and it's taking away from other aspects of your life. Not only that, it confirms to women that as long as they have tits and ass they can do whatever they want with no ramifications at all because guys like you will come along and give them te attention they so crave.

so grow the fvck up,. delete her number and move on and stop making me waste one of my 10 god damn post on this bull****. if she calls or text do not answer under any circumstances. MOVE on. I don';t care if she is BPD, I don't care if she has the black plauge. I don't give a shti what is wrong with her. That's not for you to become dr phil and break down every last action she does. you are dealing with the dr4ama of dating without the sex.
 

vatoloco

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"There are no victims. Only volunteers."

If you truly wanted to be drama-free, you would've changed your number and ignored all contact from her. ;)

But since she's probably hot, you put up with it. It is only until you truly wanna change that the drama will stop.

In the meantime, next case please.

Edit: Haha! BB already beat me to it!
 

Bible_Belt

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I think she's BPD. I also would guarantee that daddy ran off or died, or there is some abandonment drama in her past. She loves you when you are just out of reach. When she has you, and doesn't feel that abandonment drama that makes her think of daddy, suddenly not only does she not want you anymore, but you're the World's Worst Person. Then, when you're out of reach again, she does a 100% flip-flop. I have not met your girlfriend, but I know her very well. All women with bpd act just about the same.
 

earlkeese

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Goodness gracious, it sounds like you have an extreme amount of time on your hands. Are you around her age? How do you have the time to entertain 20 year old drama? Anyway, walk away from the enemy, and concentrate on you. Like my dad always said, "I've never seen a woman prettier than a dead president" :)
 

coochieman

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This story reminds me of my most meaningful relationship, no kidding dude, its so bloody similar! I can just feel your pain directly. I ddnt go into detail like urs, I only gave a quick sketch of my saga in my first post here a few days ago " from chump to trump".....

DJ vatoloco said it best... There are no victims, only volunteers.

Dude, we f*cked up! These babes are IMMATURE, we are equally as responsible cos we stuck to their sh*t. The fact she was absolutely needy and over-loving earlier in the affair shadowed my thoughts, my friends would go "wtf dude? What r u doing ?" everytime I took her back. She made me a "drama-junkie", I'm ashamed.

KILL chances of her getting to you and move on. Delete her number and whatever ! The next time she calls, If ever she calls, ask her directly "what she wants"?! Let her state her reasons CLEARLY. After which, you must make her realize calling you is a waste of both your times. I BEG, MOVE ON 100%.

Other blokes need her dramatic a** so they can learn to know better as we did too.

END contact. We've wasted too much time playing teenage games!
 

Handsfull

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BPD link was SPOT ON! Holy Sh1t!! That summs it all up. Oh my God!!


I would just like to clarify: I HAVE BEEN NO CONTACT!! She is the one trying to perpetuate this drama. My only question is, why? I mean, after I go through a break up, the last thing I want to do is keep in cntact with my ex. especially if I broke up with them! I was with another girl getting my d1ck sucked. Yet she has the energy to play other dudes, (im sure) and at the same time try to **** with me, some 5-6 moths later. Are people really that petty/ pathetic? I does not bother me now. I know what is going on...

When I was in the thick of this bull****, I was just trying to get out of it alive, to find out what was going on. For those of you who have been here, YOUR MIND SHUTS DOWN, rationalization does you no good. Your mind just ruminates on **** that doesnt make any sense, like a broken record.

Also, the psychological trauma of having someone who thinks youre a GOD, (that's actually how she described me) that they would die for. ( not that I ever wanted that) to a person who investests every ounce of energy in their being to destoying you. It was like, overnight.

Also, just let me say to those out there who are saying to move on: This is not about me pining for her. I dont give a fvck about her anymore. And to Backbreaker, I don't know? I have moved on to a couple other girls. I don't know? I guess I've boned 4 girls since then. Does that help my suave cred? But I dont really I don't care about that ****.

As crazy as this b!tch is, I loved her. Part of the things thats so heartbreaking is, is realizing how fvcked up she was/is...MINDFVCK


I almost just want to look at this as a social study and learn from it. It really fvcked me up. haha
 

Atom Smasher

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You need to go No Contact, bro, and stay that way. She will keep on trying to suck you back into her vortex, even possible over a year later.

Stay strong and completely release her out of your life. Women like this are dangerous. Go completely ghost. You don't exist anymore as far as she should be concerned.

She will approach you and you will swear that she has changed and seen the light. Stay NC, because she will attempt to destroy you if you don't. You've already had a taste of her shape-shifting abilities. Never forget the pain she put your through. It's time for you to hand out some pain.
 

Jair213

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Damn this is ridiculious. My ex put me through the worse ****tt too. I've being there, don't contact her anymore, go unexistent, vanish. That's the best advice I could give you. I know it hurts but you'll pull through.
 

Down Low

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It's the old thing where someone who has been sexually abused turns around and becomes the abuser.

It starts out where she's like an attention wh0re to you, but little by little, you notice that she becomes more and more contemptuous of you. Eventually she pushes you away. Then she backs up a little and you think "wow she really does care." Big mistake. She ramps up the abuse every time you come back.

She's in full-flight denial that she was ever abused. She won't admit that she has a problem, much less ask for your help, or follow your suggestions. She's totally lost.

To her, you're just another d1ck to screw over.

To you, she's just another neurotic b1tch. Do yourself an enormous favor. Go ghost on her.
 

Htienvu

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Only since I've came to this site that I find how fked up some chicks can be, I've never encountered any in my life time. Hopefully things stays that way!
 

Beowolf

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Defcon 4 level security, helmet, flack jcket, shades down, sandbags, don't answer when she calls or knocks, don't go where she eats or hangs, or look at her fb, tear off the rear view mirror and drve it like you stole it, or she'll rip your're soul out.
 

Handsfull

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That article should be a sticky! That just described her, and our relationship, to a "T". Unfortunatley, we have a lot of the same friends, and I am a musician. She knows where I play, where I hang, etc... She can get at me if she wants. Although I had considered a restraining order.

During the break up, (forgot to mention this, first time around) her DADDY calls and leaves me a voice mail threatening to make my life a living hell, get me fired from my job, press legal charges against me, and that hes gonna "teack me a lesson about how to treat a young lady." HA! I let her listen to it, because we were still talking, although she clearly told her family I was "stalking and harassing her" This, according to her dad. This is how fvcked up she is: I let her listen to the message and she tells me "ok, my dad is buying me a computer at Best Buy this afternoon. You have to call back or he will think you dont have a hair on your ass. Call his land line. Hell be at Best Buy with me, so you wont have to talk to him directly." And I'm thinking, "this b!tch is fvcking CRAFTY!! Jesus H Christ!! I'll think of more things as they come. Haha. Its been a while at this point. Nuts! Those articles are really good resources
 
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