You can be confident in your work and other things and still have low self esteem. I can tell you that through much of high school I had very similar "symptoms" to what you have described. I was a social disaster, I had a few close friends but I was awful at dealing with most people because I was intimidated by them. Every time I moved a muscle I would silently ask myself what the people around me thought of me. Granted, it is hard to compare two situations like this, especially when you are much older than I am and have been dealing with this for much longer.Originally posted by STR8UP
Self esteem issues are often a part of SA, but how do you explain a person who is in my shoes suffering from low self esteem? I am financially set, I still manage to pick up good looking women who are quite a bit younger than me, I live in an awesome place in an awesome part of town, I'm in my mid 30's and I basically don't have to work again for the rest of my life.......it goes a LITTLE bit deeper than low self esteem, I'm afraid.
I'm sure medication would have helped to cure some of my "symptoms." Instead of considering that, however, I evaluated myself. Then I reevaluated myself. I found that I was not confident at all in my social skills and that I cared way too much about what other people thought of me. I took it one step at a time and over the course of a few years, I grew as a person in the ways I was striving to. Now I am probably more easy going when dealing with people than are most of the people I know. My self esteem has grown exponentially, and I would not be suprised if that is exactly how your medication is making you feel.
This is just speculation, but it sounds to me like you have an idea of what it is that you think is the "ideal life," and when you have it all, but still don't have the self esteem, you question that which is out of your control -- certain chemical levels in your brain.
Don't completely rule out the possibility that maybe your problems are curable in the long run without becoming dependant on medication. Best of luck.