Getting Rejected On First Date Kiss Closes = Move On?

CAPSLOCK BANDIT

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I've never been admonished for pursuing a kiss, even if it is too early if she likes you she isn't gonna deny you but just set a boundary moving forward.

I won't admonish being aloof either but I mean one or the other isn't the answer, each situation has nuance.
 

Pierce Manhammer

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I kissed closed on the last two dates I've been on (one I did way more than kiss close LOL) and I never heard from them again. They never responded to my texts later.
Some would say that given the outcome they might have been ok for a ONL. But the truth is you absolutely never know, and that’s why you push your advantage and always have your logistics down.
 

BadBoy89

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Depends on her youth.

If she's older and doesn't kiss you, who cares. She has no leverage so it doesn't matter.
If she's younger and doesn't kiss you, it's a problem. Because she has leverage in society, you have to see what's going on.
 

MatureDJ

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I kissed closed on the last two dates I've been on (one I did way more than kiss close LOL) and I never heard from them again. They never responded to my texts later.
Do you have halitosis?
 

Glassguy

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No kiss = she will not hear from me after the date unless she reaches our. Its not worth pursuing unless she pursues.

That would be my advice. And I've made the mistake of reaching out after this situation. I shouldn't have lol.
 

devilkingx2

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A good date has a sexual element to it. Whether a kiss close or more.

For a first date I would accept less, if you had a heavily sexual vibe in your flirting that's still a win. But if it was totally platonic that first date was a fail.


So generally I go for the kiss close on the first date and if the girl rejects me, I basically move on and don't pursue any further interaction.

But sometimes I wonder whether my approach is right. I've passed on many girls over the recent past because of first date kiss close rejection but I wonder whether I should be more open-minded and relaxed in my rule (am I being too myopic?)
If the date was seemingly going well or you weren't sure and she rejects a kiss that's a red flag. If you don't hear from her unless you reach out and do all the work to setup another date that's a deal breaker.
 

devilkingx2

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In my opinion though, there is not allways the situation/atmosphere/location to get a 1st kiss in. If i just had a 1 hour coffee-1stdate to check her out i most of the time didnt go for a kiss. Drinks at night, or dinner at my place is a different story. In general, it wasnt a big deal if it didnt happen on 1st date.
This is a good point too, you have to be in the right situation for a kiss. This is why something like drinks at a bar is a great first date.

The RP clowns would say that if she doesn't have sex with you after 1st date, she's not attracted to you. She wouldn't have any issues giving Chad a blow-job in the restaurant's bathroom (Rich Cooper story) or have sex just after first meeting you at the foam party in Cancun (Rollo story). That's real attraction and you shouldn't settle for anything less. :D Yeah right, actually that's drugs, alcohol and mental illness mixed in various proportions.

IMO kiss on first date can't be used as a barometer of attraction. She might very well be attracted to you but also be a reserved and taking things slowly kind of girl ... in this case you shoot yourself in the foot, eliminating the kind of woman best suited for a relationship. On the other hand, she might be a mentally unstable girl with low self esteem who kisses almost any guy who looks half decent and gives her compliments.
This brings up a good point, but it depends on your situation as a man.

If you're Chad Thundercock, 6 feet tall, 6 pack abs, 6 figure income, handsome face with a desirable ethnicity. Then you will definitely run into women who don't want to be used for sex and want to make sure you're not just hooking up with new girls everyday or women who like you so much they want to show you they're wife material at all costs so they don't even want to be the tiniest bit slvtty.

But if you're an average looking man with an average income, it's infinitely more likely that her interest is low than that she's so worried about impressing a 5'6 guy who makes $17/hour. Or that she thinks you're just banging new slvts every weekend.


First date kissing is a must. It shouldn't be the close. The first date kiss needs to happen somewhere in the middle of the date and it needs to be set up from physical touch (aka kino) escalation. If a man doesn't even try a kiss until near the end when the date is concluding, it becomes more difficult to get. From moment 1, use kino escalation to see how far things will escalate. It might even escalate to sex. As the man, you lead. If you're comfortable with first date sex, do it. A lot of times, first date sex isn't the best idea. It depends.
This. Context is everything. If you've made no effort at kino during the actual date then you are much more likely to be rejected with the kiss close. Concluding that the women is not worth more of your time is sound logic at that point but it might say far more about you screwing the first date up more than her having had lack of interest
Agree with these points. The date has to be going well and you have to setup for the kiss. If she thinks she's having lunch at Starbucks with a friend and then you suddenly try to kiss her it's obviously going to get rejected.

A girl from Marakesh is going to respond to sexual advances differently from a girl raised in Croatia. No one is requiring you to provide your location, it's simply an ask that is relevant to the discussion.
This is a very good point and it applies to more than just ethnicity and culture.

If you date a stripper or for the first date she got drunk at a bar and she won't kiss you that's 99.99% low interest.

If you date a girl from a highly religious or conservative family/society, you should definitely not be expecting quick or easy sex unless she shows clear signs of rebellion.
 

AmsterdamAssassin

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Any type of rejection is a confirmation that you're not a good match.
 

Create self-fulfilling prophecies. Always assume the positive. Assume she likes you. Assume she wants to talk to you. Assume she wants to go out with you. When you think positive, positive things happen.

Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.

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