I agree with the original poster 100% -- It's basic psychology and I've experienced it multiple times even recently in the last few months. Let me explain it though from an entirely different point of view -- the guy whose not looking to hook up with women at work. Which I've found my tactic is backfiring horribly. I've been at this company about 6 months.
I have a cardinal rule, I don't mix work and women (it's a bad thing, though sometimes I've been tempted to break my rule) -- given this, I try hard to always keep my confidence and ego aligned to my work, keep focused, and even if I'm really attracted to a woman, try to play it down as much as possible.
I'm also somewhat a flirt, so I have a tendancy to like to chat it up with the women I work with and kid around with them when possible -- barge into their 'chatting' group and take control of the conversation (don't read this as talking about myself -- I but in and start talking and asking them questions about themselves "what's the haps for the weekend") - but I do this on 'my' terms, when I feel like loosening up and flirting, not when they feel like it. (A lot of times they'll group up and try to draw me into a conversation and I just pass) I do this because I also have to wield a level of authority, I also treat them as much as possible, equally the same.
There are a few young women I work with (I'm 40 now) --- They're in their early to late 20's. A few of them are HB7, HB8 and one is an HB10 in my book (5 women total). One of them is also married.
So here's the deal -- There are guys throughout the building constantly working these women to all different degrees -- It's like the friggin AFC bozo brigade. Whereas I sit a very short distance from them all and I play it like they are nothing special. It's not that I ingore them entirely, that'd be stupid -- I might leave my job someday.
Instead, I engage them at times, on my terms (i'll probably say this a few more times to drill it in) always friendly, funny, big smile -- and they always respond positively. It's a skill I learned, not because I wanted to be a DJ, but because I find I can get more of my work done, easier, and people are willing to jump through hoops for me on special occasions if I have that disposition.
Now here's where it gets interesting and where I prove the point --
A few months back, the married HB8 starts flirting back with interest. And starts saying things like "Your the only guy I've had fun givening this much of hard time too" (that's a good thing not a bad thing) and she's starts displaying all the "tells' of a woman becoming very interested. Checking me out all the time -- having special 'inside' jokes -- and telling me that we have a 'special' relationship. Matter of fact, I know without a doubt, given the right situation, I could've had her (could've because she's since left the company). But, she must have hugged m 5 times before she left (emotional connection), and she was touchy with me multiple times.
The HB7 started hitting on me a few weeks ago, and now IMs me all the time , to strike up conversations, sends me jokes, and drops a lot of inuendo -- she's touched me a few times as well -- I'm pushing her into the friend-zone though for sure, which I think will be easily achievable.
Now lets go to the HB10, who is tucked in an area (tucked meaning, I'd have to go out of my way) that I wind up not chatting with her very often, matter of fact, probably not much at all, though, a lot of guys go out of their ways to chat with her. Also, for a long time she never said anything to me. No 'hello'/'hi', etc ... so I just wrote her off as your typical HB10 arrogant woman -- not worth my time. So I chat it up with all the others.
A few weeks back, (after many months), the HB10 approaches me and starts inquiring as to why I never talk to her, and is it because I don't like her. Huh? (BTW, she has a boyfriend, what HB10 doesn't). She asks it somewhat jokingly, but she brings it up on 5 different occasions. So I start to have occasional conversation with her, but I also notice that 'look' and notice her nervousness, and that she's playing hot/cold -- she's grabbed my arm a few times -- I begin to realize -- Oh my god, she's interested in me as well. To the extent, if I ignore her for even a day she'll work her way in my office, try to get my attention and somehow start a conversation or temporarily engage me. Or like the other day, she'll walk up to me and start initiating a conversation, or at lunch she'll always try to get the seat across from me. A point here, women will try to isolate men as well -- they're emotionally bound, and they can only get the emotional connection going if they isolate you IMO.
So, there ya go. A bunch of good looking women, that I play with on 'my' terms -- not giving any one of them preferential treatment. What happens? They all start trying to vie for my attention. I'm 40 not a 28 year old. I carry myself with confidence, but also I have a 'I don't give a **** what anyone thinks about me' attitude. Almost everyone of these women, when they found out my age, gave me tons of compliments, saying I look like I'm 34 and have great dimples, etc... -- do I compliment them back? Ever? rarely -- I only give compliments when I sincerely mean it.
So -- A long message (my first post), but one that shows that if you are indifferent, show no preference, but remain fun the HB7+'s of the world will make there moves on you. Also, you might read this and think I have a real 'high' perception of myself and I don't I think I'm modest looking -- maybe that helps, I dunno!
Also, I'd say another thing is EC -- It's big, don't ignore it, you can read a lot about how a woman perceives you by the way they look at you. That HB10 has occasionally given me eye contact that makes me pant just thinking about it. Use it in your favor, when they start giving you heavy EC, or you catch them giving you sideway glances in your peripheral vision its the right point to start a conversation, or switch the conversation and act interested in someone else.
TC