Getting dumped when you did nothing wrong

[bigneil]

In the context of love, you can do nothing wrong and still get dumped.

But from the context of attraction, getting dump ALWAYS means you lost value somewhere along the way.

Or maybe she had someone else in her life with a stronger connection who reappeared, the same way we would disappear if our true love came back while we were dating someone new who was promising.

Or maybe she got drunk and had sex and now THINKS she likes someone better, this week. Give the other guy time to fail.

Remember: her feelings for you are like adrenaline, eventually she becomes exhausted by it and her feelings are "normalized". Then someone else seems better in the moment, but only because she is bored of you. If you leave her and she misses you and you return, she often realizes she did like you better. But if you stick around weeping and watching, she will think you are pathetic.

 

[dude99]

Love is the illusion that one c*nt is different than another.

I have a buddy that refers to his plates as "his holes."

Develope this mentality and they can't break your heart.

 

[attic]

So how to keep frame in these moments? I've been challenged by this since my early 20's. Very beta father, and I was raised with an extreme blue bill mentality by my mother.

Is keeping frame a result of having plates, working out, focusing on work...?

I've been working on adjusting my attitude more than just making choices,... to dig deeper on that. You can't have plates, work out, focus on work, and still keep frame with women if you haven't fundamentally changed your perception of them. This perception doesn't have to be a **** mentality, just more of an honest harsh acceptance.

It is not easy to unplug, but some women can certainly help you along to achieving just that.

 

[wifehunter]

I have a buddy that refers to his plates as "his holes."

Develope this mentality and they can't break your heart.

I guess, golf, is a good goal! Lolz

 

[resilient]

I guess, golf, is a good goal! Lolz

Not when this guy is after your hole.

 

[Konada]

The problem is men will LTR any woman that is hot and then wonder why he got dumped in the first place. Attractivness should only be the measure of whether you want to fvck her but its one of the many measures whether a girl is LTR material. Its pretty common to see my friends LTR a girl after 1 month of dating.

Screening over a period of time (3-6 months) is the best way to filter out who you should LTR.

For a girl to be considered LTR material she must be:

1. Attractive enough to stick your d1ck in. Doesn't need to be super hot. If you can't tell yourself its a 'Fvck Yes' when you see her then forget about her.

2. Submissive, understands her feminine role in a relationship and willing to sexually satisfy you.

3. Open to communicating like an adult and able to emotionally regulate herself

4. Raised from a good family with strong principles she has adopted.

5. Doesn't display impulsive behavior (sex on the first date, random outbursts are red flags)

These are the bare minimum qualities men should keep in mind when screening women for an LTR. 90% of women won't make it past the first 3 months without displaying any sort of dealbreakers above.

 

[MatureDJ]

Love is the illusion that one c*nt is different than another.

Oh my, PROFOUND!

 

[RangerMIke]

You are only as good as your value in the moment. It doesn't matter if you were great in the past. And when you have confidence? Even your female enemies will congratulate you. And when you lose confidence? Even your own sister will kick you to the curb like a guy she just met in a bar.
.

I think this concept is the hardest thing for men to grasp when it comes to women... they are not like us.. they are driven by their emotions... their behavior is almost completed based on what they feel AT THE MOMENT. She can say one day "I love you!". and the next day "I hate you!" and both statements can be true. How she felt about you in the past is not important... only what is happening right now, and her perception about what holds for the future. Expecting blind loyalty from a chick is unrealistic, her loyalty is solely based on her relative worth compared to her opinion of you, and the options she has.

The younger and more attractive she is... the more options she will have, and the better you will have to be... if you want to keep her. Disliking chicks for this trait is like hating women for being women.

Be the best man you can be. This will make you the most attractive to the widest number of chicks... try to date them all, go out with the ones that will date you, let them worry about what it all means... Men should not worry about relationships... that is the realm of women... she decides when it starts, and she decides when it ends.

 

[Trump]

This seems to have happened to several guys on this board, including me.

Truly mind boggling, you think everything is going good and the next thing you know, it's over.

Bro IT"S NEVER "everything is going awesome and suddenly she snapped and dumped me."

You think "she is in love with me, she can't get enough of me, she will sacrifice her soul, body, and mind to sleep with me, I give her awesome sex, she is so turned on me and can't wait to marry me"

SHE thinks "this guy is OK but he is starting to get lazy and is turning me off little by little. I'm not as attracted to him as I once was. I wonder how that 6'2 wall street investor is doing. I can't stop thinking about him and should give him a call."

Just because you are in love with her, doesn't mean she in is love with you, or even cares you are dead or alive. Women love to get LOVE from men, but they don't like to give LOVE to men.

You keep on improving yourself, keep your frame cool and everything, but your girl still jumps ship to another one she perceives as better. Giving you the impression she just settled for you from the beginning until someone better came along.

Bro no way. You can't have been that charming when you met her so she immediately had sex with you, kept on being the same amount of charming and then she tells you to go hell? You obviously got lazy or did some other things you aren't telling us to protect the ego.

I notice that nowadays this is common for 8+ women. If they are 7 and below, there may not be enough better suitors around. But increase it up to 8 and all of a sudden, it's like you're with helen of troy and need to fight off an entire army to keep her around.

Not really sure what I'm trying to say, just really disappointed and disheartened about this I guess.

Again bro you are trying to rationalize for your own shortcomings.

Its happens ALOT, especially on here. Guy meets girl. Guy is super charming and suave and unpredictable and sexy. Girl is intrigued. Guy dates girl. Guy has sex with girl. Guy starts to like the girl more and more and fall in love because she is good looking and the sex was good. Guy starts to sacrifice to please her. Girl gets a taken aback. Girl realizes guy wasn't as charming. Guy tries harder. Girl pulls back more. Guy starts to get oneitis. Girl really pulls back and starts to see another guy. Guy thinks everything is like heaven on earth with Girl. Girl tells guy he is worthless and to go to hell.

 

[ChristopherColumbus]

This seems to have happened to several guys on this board, including me.

Truly mind boggling, you think everything is going good and the next thing you know, it's over.

You keep on improving yourself, keep your frame cool and everything, but your girl still jumps ship to another one she perceives as better. Giving you the impression she just settled for you from the beginning until someone better came along.

I notice that nowadays this is common for 8+ women. If they are 7 and below, there may not be enough better suitors around. But increase it up to 8 and all of a sudden, it's like you're with helen of troy and need to fight off an entire army to keep her around.

Not really sure what I'm trying to say, just really disappointed and disheartened about this I guess.

You want to find a woman who is not classically or generically considered beautiful [aka the hottie] by today's media-driven standards. Find a woman who has some idiosyncratic feature that YOU find really attractive. This may even be her personality. Even if 'objectively' she is only a 6 or 7 on the Richter scale, she seems to you a 10.... or rather becomes one.

 

[ChristopherColumbus]

Its happens ALOT, especially on here. Guy meets girl. Guy is super charming and suave and unpredictable and sexy. Girl is intrigued. Guy dates girl. Guy has sex with girl. Guy starts to like the girl more and more and fall in love because she is good looking and the sex was good. Guy starts to sacrifice to please her. Girl gets a taken aback. Girl realizes guy wasn't as charming. Guy tries harder. Girl pulls back more. Guy starts to get oneitis. Girl really pulls back and starts to see another guy. Guy thinks everything is like heaven on earth with Girl. Girl tells guy he is worthless and to go to hell.

Ummm... perhaps there is an element, in some situations, where the guy is 'short-circuiting' the relationship.

 

[ChristopherColumbus]

Remember: her feelings for you are like adrenaline, eventually she becomes exhausted by it and her feelings are "normalized". Then someone else seems better in the moment, but only because she is bored of you. If you leave her and she misses you and you return, she often realizes she did like you better. But if you stick around weeping and watching, she will think you are pathetic.

I'm convinced we are increasingly becoming an addiction-based culture [it certainly suits the requirements of consumption]. It's the new normal, and is what happens when we lack the strength of character to deny ourselves some fleeting pleasure.

 

[ubercat]

What s rare? Some girls have a great sense of humour. Some like the same weird music as you. Some give amazing head. If you look for the positives and learn to enjoy their company there's no rarity. You know the next girl will have interesting qualities to enjoy.

Now I accept there are a lot of corporate drone chicks. The ones who are into their career their gym and social media. They are the ones you use for pvssy and arm candy. But there's millions of them why would you miss them?

 

[bigneil]

@Trump wrote: "Bro IT"S NEVER "everything is going awesome and suddenly she snapped and dumped me." Its happens ALOT, especially on here. Guy meets girl. Guy is super charming and suave and unpredictable and sexy. Girl is intrigued. Guy dates girl. Guy has sex with girl. Guy starts to like the girl more and more and fall in love because she is good looking and the sex was good. Guy starts to sacrifice to please her. Girl gets a taken aback. Girl realizes guy wasn't as charming. Guy tries harder. Girl pulls back more. Guy starts to get oneitis. Girl Guy thinks everything is like heaven on earth with Girl. really pulls back and starts to see another guy. Girl tells guy he is worthless and to go to hell."

In my case the red steps did not happen. I didn't quite get oneitis as I had other women. Instead, I succumbed to her energy, crossed the 51% cuddle line and then simply walked when she got distracted.

 

[Bingo-Player]

You make a good point.

Here is where the breakdown normally happens:

The guy starts thinking that what they have together is "special" and that he is doing things for the woman that no other guy can do.........fvcking, emotional attachment, etc etc.

Guys often put the relationship even before themselves (stop working out, drop hobbies, decreased interaction with friends and social circles).

The woman sees that this guy is all in. With the wrong woman (which is most of them) the thrill is over and they need a new chase.

You break up thinking "she will be back.....we had something special". Or "no way she can miss me fvcking her". Meanwhile the phone never rings, no more texts unless she is hot/cold and stringing you along. The next thing you know, you see her out 3-4 months later and she is with a dude and looks fvcking happy. Thats when you realize that what you had wasnt so special, you arent the only guy thats great at oral, can keep it hard for an hour and are sized well. All of a sudden that emotional attachment and intimate quirks you shared werent that special.

You realize that you were replaceable.

That's when you go through the valley, get back to living for you, and get your mind right again. You realize people on this forum preach abundance for a reason. There is a purpose to having 2, 3 or more disposable women.

You realize that when she said she wasnt happy and wanted some space, you should have fully agreed, smiled at her and walked out.....hitting up chicks before you pulled out of her driveway.

In today's day and age, it is still possible to find a really good woman and have a fulfilling LTR. You just have to have fun along the way and dont stop living for you.

Most guys talk about how a woman changed what they did, how they did it, etc. The entered the relationship a man and was left a beta. They didnt hold frame and was pulled into hers. The guy that she started dating wasnt the guy that she left. She had eaten him up.

Keep frame, do yourself and enjoy women. Those who want to stick around will. Dont change for anyone but you, as in making yourself better.

yup this all happened to me within the same time frame too

only slight difference is mine is still pursuing me because of how easy i made it look to walk away from her ( it wasnt ) but i was dammed if im going to let her know that

the only advice i can give to OP is that it happens to the best of us and you are not alone

modern women are so delusional now they belive that their actions do not have consequences

3 old freinds of mine have ALL become single recently from relationships ranging from 3 years to 6 months

we met up and tried to pin point WHY

we came to the conclusion that women are no longer afraid

they arent afraid to sleep with multiple men
they arent afraid to cheat on men
they arent afraid of losing a man or walking away
they arent afraid to change how they feel about a man at the drop of a hat

i firmly believe you will encounter this problem with a VAST majority of women between ages 20 - 30

they know they have the male population by the bollux and they arent afraid to exploit it

i will be going back to simply busting nuts in them for the next few years

the emotional warfare that they do to you isnt worth the long term thing for me at the moment

hurts too much

 

[bigneil]

they arent afraid to change how they feel about a man at the drop of a hat
they arent afraid to cheat on men
they arent afraid to sleep with multiple men
they arent afraid of losing a man or walking away

I re-sorted these to point out they are all based on one thing: Women no longer have any sense of loyalty. The reason is there are no longer any consequences. There once were, namely that other women would shame and chastise them. Now they all celebrate one another's wh0redom, and the Government forces men like me to write a huge check every year and give it to them so they can raise kids with the underemployed men they got drunk and had sex with at the party.

 

[bigneil]

Gentlemen, the joke is on them.

Just look at all the college aged girls with much older men now (granted, not monogamously). Men can have all the young, hot pvssy they want now. Men can have them for a pittance. Who pays the real price? Women 30 and over, and it serves them right. They were hoes all the way back as far as I can remember (1987). In the 80's though we had these things called couples, who would "shack up". They would be inseparable. Together all the time. By the 1990's dating was obsolete. It was the "Hang out, hook up" culture (women born 1968 and after). Back then there were 6 single men for every unmarried woman with no kids (the Baby Boomers cherry picked Generation X). Then in the 2000's they all divorced their husbands, took the house and (until the housing crash) used the money to finance younger boy toys (they not only turned into men, but into Johns). Their daughters saw them with these men around age 40 and were basically taught to hate men, be unfaithful and to sleep with lots of middle aged men.

Then POOF overnight men my age who were told at age 36 by then 38 year old women that we were too old - we started dating their daughters (the ones born out of their hangout hookups in the early 1990's).

Women born in the early 60's tended to be much better girls, ones worthy of a man taking care of them in their old age. But my generation? No way.

I'll be faithful to an old woman as long as she was faithful to me when she was a young woman.

 

[BeExcellent]

Realize that when this happens, the only person that really knows why is the woman.

Yeah it sucks, but its not worth losing sleep over and definitely not worth over analyzing what you could have done differently to make it work.

It could have been the ex reaching out, another guy that she had her eye on that finally showed interest, etc. Unless you did something really stupid, its probably something happening on her end anyway. You cant change or control a woman's mind and behavior when it happens, but you can sure control yours.

Just smile and walk away.

Some relationships work, most do not. Accept it and keep pursuit.

I second this 100%. Bummer that this happened to you. You can't Monday morning quarterback it to death, just pick yourself up and go on. All relationships eventually end. Even in happy marriages things end (when somebody dies). So do whatever you need to in order to get over it and through it and get on with life.

 

[nismo-4]

If you're not first, you're last. You need to come in first, and stay in first.

Stop beta backsliding. Work on a stat every day. You can always improve. By stats, I mean your looks, money, and status. I'll even add your social skills and networking ability. Getting better in Madden and NBA Live doesn't count, or help with women.

More to add.

1. No woman is that attractive.
2. You can always do better.
3. Never get emotionally involved.
4. Always have a foot out the door.
5. Every woman is replaceable.
6. Keep scoring high.
7. Every woman has exes. Outscore them.
8. Always have backup women.
9. When it ends, delete the number and all platforms and move on.
10. Care very little.

Case closed.

 

[EyeBRollin]

This entire OP is a contradiction. It's a dual reality.

Women in love don't leave. Ever. They can't leave. That's what love is. If she's in love with you, you could run her over in your car and she'd say it was an accident. Don't you see, gents?

If a woman dumps you, it's your fault. YOU turned her off.