Getting dumped for a loser?

[Bokanovsky]

As someone who's been lurking on this board for 4 years, I have to say, I find Backbreakers' posts extremely insightful and often quite brilliant. Give his posts a try Bokanovsky and you'll find some really good gems of wisdom.

I have read many of his posts and understand that he is considered somewhat of a 'guru' (hate that word) on this board. Aside from his curious and borderline racist rants about white men being AFC and black men being more 'alpha', I find it interesting that most of his posts, regardless of the topic being discussed, somehow manage to allude to one of the following:

1) That he bets on horse races for a living (which I guess is supposed to be an 'alpha' occupation);
2) That he makes lots of money;
3) That he is supposedly extremely good looking;
4) How amazing his wife is and how she she's not like all the other women;
5) How people are supposedly jealous of his success.

I have nothing against backbreaker personally, but these recurring themes make you wonder. From my experience, people who are successful in real life do not have to brag about it to random strangers on the Internet.

 

[backbreaker]

As someone who's been lurking on this board for 4 years, I have to say, I find Backbreakers' posts extremely insightful and often quite brilliant. Give his posts a try Bokanovsky and you'll find some really good gems of wisdom.

My persona, even in real life, rubs some the wrong way. always has, always will. To the people who actually like what I have to say, I appreciate the kind words. To those who don't, you are more than welcome to have whatever opinion you have of me, you're not the first and you won't be the last.

The way I see it if everyone likes you, than you aren't doing something right.

 

[Robert28]

what pisses me off about getting dumped for a loser or a girl choosing a loser over you is weeks/months/years down the road that same girl will run around running her mouth to anyone that'll listen "I can't find a good man....why are all men jerks.....i'm tired of dating losers." I'm thinking "no b!tch, it's not the guys fault, it's your stupidity and decision making that got you in the mess you're in and you have no one to blame but your damn self!" I don't have any secret powers but I can tell within a VERY short time if a woman is worth dating or not. doesn't take me months or years to figure the crap out. I know women base most of their decisions on emotion instead of logic like men but that's still no excuse. women want to be taken seriously and be known for their smarts, well they need to start acting like it and start making better decisions in their life.

 

[zekko]

No disrespect intended to the original poster, but have we established that he is actually any higher value than any of these other guys?

There was a thread in the general forum, a guy said that males tend to overestimate their own attractiveness, and underestimate other males' attractiveness. This makes sense, I think. We wouldn't want to bang those guys, so why should the girls?

 

[SSBS]

No offense taken.

When I was 20 I was still in school, so I would have to think that a guy in school > a proven loser (31 year old unemployed welfare bum with a kid)

When I was 32, I had in fact fallen on hard times. Lost my job, and a business I had attempted was failing. Not to the point of insurmountable debt, but at least to the point where it was time to cut my losses. Still, I never gave up, and I did bounce back eventually, just she wasn't there anymore.

I think that is higher value than a guy washing dishes and peeling potatoes in a 24 hour diner.

The last one was pretty recent. I do have a job, I was willing to let the relationship with this woman progress in spite of the fact that she had a kid. I obviously make enough coin where I can take off to South America for a month.

Of course I'm not perfect. In a lot of ways I still act like I'm in my 20's. I do what I want, when I want to. This was not always the case, in fact in retrospect I was a typical AFC with woman #2, and it was the break up with her that really opened my eyes to the reality of relationships with women. My Blue pill moment I guess. Or was it red pill...can't remember.

I would still place my value higher than a broke ass deadbeat that abandoned a pregnant woman in a non 1st world country.

I suspect that one is more to do with citizenship than anything else. Guy is American, he finally claimed the kid, she gets her citizenship and mom is following along to get a foothold in the USA. That's really the only thing that makes sense to me.

I'll be fine though. I know it. I need to make some positive changes, no question. I'm not getting any younger either, but I have no doubt that in time I'll be back in action.

 

[SoSuave666]

These "losers" have bigger d!cks than you.

 

[backbreaker]

No offense taken.

When I was 20 I was still in school, so I would have to think that a guy in school > a proven loser (31 year old unemployed welfare bum with a kid)

When I was 32, I had in fact fallen on hard times. Lost my job, and a business I had attempted was failing. Not to the point of insurmountable debt, but at least to the point where it was time to cut my losses. Still, I never gave up, and I did bounce back eventually, just she wasn't there anymore.

I think that is higher value than a guy washing dishes and peeling potatoes in a 24 hour diner.

The last one was pretty recent. I do have a job, I was willing to let the relationship with this woman progress in spite of the fact that she had a kid. I obviously make enough coin where I can take off to South America for a month.

Of course I'm not perfect. In a lot of ways I still act like I'm in my 20's. I do what I want, when I want to. This was not always the case, in fact in retrospect I was a typical AFC with woman #2, and it was the break up with her that really opened my eyes to the reality of relationships with women. My Blue pill moment I guess. Or was it red pill...can't remember.

I would still place my value higher than a broke ass deadbeat that abandoned a pregnant woman in a non 1st world country.

I suspect that one is more to do with citizenship than anything else. Guy is American, he finally claimed the kid, she gets her citizenship and mom is following along to get a foothold in the USA. That's really the only thing that makes sense to me.

I'll be fine though. I know it. I need to make some positive changes, no question. I'm not getting any younger either, but I have no doubt that in time I'll be back in action.

you need to stop worrying about comparing yourself to everyone else.

If you don't like something about yourself, simply do what is necessary to change it. But don't waste your life comparing what you have and what you do to others, that energy is better spent changing whatever it is you don't like about your life

people who compare are basically saying i don't get any enjoyment out of my life, so at least let look around me and see how much better i am than everyone else, maybe that will make me happy. The problem with that is 1. it's not necessairly going to make you happy and 2. there is always someone who is going to be "better" than you. people who truely love their life could give 2 ****s about what someone else is doing.

 

[SSBS]

I was only answering the question.

 

[Robert28]

These "losers" have bigger d!cks than you.

so what, my horses have bigger d!cks then any of you. is that justification for some girl that constantly makes bad choices in the men she chooses to date to come out to my barn and fvck a few of them? how would you know if the loser she picked over you had a bigger d!ck or not? you gonna ask him to compare yours with his?

I know it's been touched on that guys tend to rate themselves higher then they really are, I'm guilty of it too. however, with that being said, I know the types of girls I've dated in the past, not all were 9's but I did manage to date a few 9's! most were 7's though if I want to be honest with myself. now, I know I am not being chosen over for an 8, hell not even a 7, it's honestly more like a strong 6 or a 5 at best. how do I know this? I've seen some of their ex g/f's. you talk about some dogs! holy $h!t. I used to read too much into it when a girl would chose a less quality guy then me in my opinion. now I got to where I don't care, I just try my best to upgrade to a BETTER looking girl so when that b!tch sees me next time, she won't be able to take her eyes off of us and then that guy she's with doesn't look so attractive. I know what I'm talking about too because most of the girls that have pulled that crap have called me back up within 6 months to a year trying to get back in my life.

 

[SoSuave666]

so what, my horses have bigger d!cks then any of you. is that justification for some girl that constantly makes bad choices in the men she chooses to date to come out to my barn and fvck a few of them? how would you know if the loser she picked over you had a bigger d!ck or not? you gonna ask him to compare yours with his?

I know it's been touched on that guys tend to rate themselves higher then they really are, I'm guilty of it too. however, with that being said, I know the types of girls I've dated in the past, not all were 9's but I did manage to date a few 9's! most were 7's though if I want to be honest with myself. now, I know I am not being chosen over for an 8, hell not even a 7, it's honestly more like a strong 6 or a 5 at best. how do I know this? I've seen some of their ex g/f's. you talk about some dogs! holy $h!t. I used to read too much into it when a girl would chose a less quality guy then me in my opinion. now I got to where I don't care, I just try my best to upgrade to a BETTER looking girl so when that b!tch sees me next time, she won't be able to take her eyes off of us and then that guy she's with doesn't look so attractive. I know what I'm talking about too because most of the girls that have pulled that crap have called me back up within 6 months to a year trying to get back in my life.

Quit getting so butthurt dude. Nothing you can rant about here is going to change anything. Chicks date losers and a$$holes. Get over it. Up the game, and when you get rejected/dumped, which we all do, say fvck it and move on.

 

[backbreaker]

to quote brother malzone "The game is the Game"

 

[st_99]

to quote brother malzone "The game is the Game"

Girls aren't any different than business. First you need to educate yourself on how the game works, then you need to try your hardest to play it well. Keep trying and you'll get success eventually.

Crying about how frustrating it is and how unfair it is generally doesn't work well.

 

[Robert28]

Quit getting so butthurt dude. Nothing you can rant about here is going to change anything. Chicks date losers and a$$holes. Get over it. Up the game, and when you get rejected/dumped, which we all do, say fvck it and move on.

not butt hurt and wasn't ranting, just stating facts about experiences I had. I am always working on my game and trying to make it better, but not to waste on low class trashy girls that date losers or girls that chose to be with low trash guys. not all women date losers, those are the one's I'm after, that's what makes me want to improve my game.

 

[Boilermaker]

Good point. And in reference to something you said,

I'd rather my opponent is stronger than I am, when I lose in a chess game.

In other words, if my girl dumps me, I wouldn't wish who she ends up with, is a jackass loser. That would lower my value. So as you said, date women with better goals in life.

 

[Robert28]

Good point. And in reference to something you said,

I'd rather my opponent is stronger than I am, when I lose in a chess game.

In other words, if my girl dumps me, I wouldn't wish who she ends up with, is a jackass loser. That would lower my value. So as you said, date women with better goals in life.

exactly. I've never claimed to be able to see into the future, but it does not take me long to determine if a woman is worth my time or not. I don't need months or years to come to that conclusion, I can, for the most part, tell you within a few dates. sometimes less, sometimes more. once I figure it out though, I don't fumble fart around about ridding myself of the situation, I'm off looking for a better girl to replace her with. I'm not going to trade a headcase for another headcase, or a slvt for another slvt.

 

[Jitterbug]

Sometimes the girl is just a loser and water seeks its own level.

About 5 years ago, when I already had some decent Game, I was dumped by this girl for a guy who was objectively worse in pretty much everything. He's a poor barely employed comic book skinny virgin ugly geek who doesn't know how to talk to women, OR men for that matter. Objectively I was a 7 and he's an omega 3, on every count: social status, game, finance, health, fitness, looks. She was with him for 5-6 months, never even slept with the poor guy, dumped him and he's still not recovered from that. At the time, I was stunned for weeks. She remained in my social circle though, and a couple of years later, as I knew more about her, I realised what a mess she truly is. She might be a cute young girl, but inside her head, she's just like him. She felt more comfortable dating him than me (although not comfortable enough to sleep with him lol)

 

[catsmd71]

This has always puzzled me. There have been 3 times in my life where I got dumped and rather than trading up, as a woman does, on these three occasions they clearly moved downwards.

Ex.1:

I was 20, she was 18. We had known each other for about 4 years at that point. I was out of my mind infatuated with her, and it took years for us to finally get together.

She left me for a 31 year old, unemployed loser that had a kid.

Ex.2)

We got together when I was 24 and she was 19. We spent 8 years together. Lived together for 5. The relationship deteriorated after about the 6 year point. At least to me it did, so that means it was probably more after the 4 year point for her...but whatever.

She was a waitress at a dive restaurant, and after me, hooked up with the dishwasher / kitchen guy, whatever he was. They went to Costa Rica to help build a village for brown people soon after.

Ex.3)

Dated this one for about 4 years. She had a kid from a previous short term "relationship"

Guy was a total deadbeat. Left her when she was still pregnant and married some other broad. Never gave her a cent to help with the kid. She lives in South America. We worked together at a hotel and spent the majority of our time together. When we were apart it was for a couple of months at a time, after our contracts would end. (6 - 8 months at work, 2 months vacation)

So I fly down to see her, spend a month in her ****hole country, then fly back home. Next thing I hear, the kid's father (American) takes an interest. 5 years after the fact, but better late than never I guess. He flies down a week after I left, to meet and presumably take care of his kid finally, and 2 weeks later she messages me on facebook that they are back together.

These three women are about as different from each other as could be. Each happened at a much different stage in my life. There really is nothing similar about any of them.

The only common link is me.

It seems weird. I could understand if they traded up, but this just doesn't make sense to me.

 

[catsmd71]

I know this is an old thread but thanks. Helps me see the loser I loved. Yes I was ditched for white trash. He's with gutter trash (I have my M.Ed. degree and I'm not clingy, crazy, etc.) and making a fool out of himself on FB and it's been awful for me. Anyway men 1000x better than him chase me now. But I am still devastated over what the short, stupid, rat of a man did to me.

 

[Fruitbat]

Sometimes I think it's just luck of your life and theirs. Mainly I find dating is with women with no common ground. Then you meet someone with a lot of similar ideas and interests. I am dating one of these and she is hotter and better off financially than I am used to. However, we have a ton of stuff in common, and from the first date I felt she was the closest to "the one",if such a thing exists. She just left a guy who was totally alpha, but they had nothing in common. Takes a few years but that will always fall apart. Eventually they figure out that a real LTR has to be based on common ground, not on being a prize and that alone. Same for us. Doesn't mean I or anyone else is "better", it's about compatibility. Wouldn't you trade down a bit for a woman who just got you, inside out, someone you never had to hide anything from or pretend? I would take a 6 over a 10 is she was freakishly similar. Perhaps these guys were in those categories for her.

People talk about "alpha widows" and they do exist, but sometimes they are just girls who grew up and recognised life is not just hot sex with a stud, or social proof. Same for me, regardless of how this works out, I wouldn't trade her for a 10. I chased hot women and although hot is a bonus....it will go, and you will be stuk with some dumb bytch eventually.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

I know this is an old thread but thanks. Helps me see the loser I loved. Yes I was ditched for white trash. He's with gutter trash (I have my M.Ed. degree and I'm not clingy, crazy, etc.) and making a fool out of himself on FB and it's been awful for me. Anyway men 1000x better than him chase me now. But I am still devastated over what the short, stupid, rat of a man did to me.

Sometimes they do this to fell better about themselves. Your experience and knowledge was likely intimidating.