Getting a girl back

[I'm in the Mood]

You may still be at a stage of your life where you want to sleep with every girl in town - I am not.

You may still be at a stage of your life where you feel that certain girls are unobtainable - I am not.

You may be a negative person, that thinks certain things in life are not possible - I do not.

I find it really strange that you say this, because I actually believe the exact opposite of all three statements you made.
It makes me wonder...When you read my posts, what were you actually thinking, and what information did you pay attention to the most?

Anyway, good luck getting your girlfriend back.

It is very possible and I wish you the best in getting your girl back and being her knight in shining armor. (Or at least her knight in baggy blue jeans.)

 

[styleman]

I find it really strange that you say this, because I actually believe the exact opposite of all three statements you made.
It makes me wonder...When you read my posts, what were you actually thinking, and what information did you pay attention to the most?

Anyway, good luck getting your girlfriend back.

It is very possible and I wish you the best in getting your girl back and being her knight in shining armor. (Or at least her knight in baggy blue jeans.)

You know, you do bring up valid points

- the girl may be a child

- the girl may be psychotic

- the girl may not be the one for me

But, it does not change the fact that what I want is to be back with her.

As a confident, successful, man at the top of his game, all that matters is what I want.

I do not care what she 'thinks' she wants.

That's the difference between you and me - your paying too much attention to what the girl says, what the girl wants, whereas I live in my own reality.

That's why I give great respect to the advice of not perusing a GF/BF title -what she's willing to call the relationship is irrelevant, her actions speak louder than words.

 

[sagexx]

hmm, since this article helped me. i think it may do the same for you
http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=149268

 

[styleman]

hmm, since this article helped me. i think it may do the same for you
http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=149268

That actually makes a lot of sense. Thank you.

So much better than the illogical ramblings "you cannot get her back', these guys have probably never even been through a break up let alone a relationship to know that once you have a girl, its not easy to shake her, and her emotions, despite what she may 'say she wants'.

 

[styleman]

I got so far tonight, and totally failed!

She rings me around 8pm, I tell her I'm about to hit the gym then go for dinner. End of convo.

She calls again at 10pm, whilst I am at dinner (on a date), she says
"I have hiccups"
me- oh
her- where are you
me - at dinner
her - with who
me - meh... what do you want?
her - nothing am sleeping
me - ok goodnight

She calls back 10 minutes later
her - who are you with as5sh*ole?
me - I'll call you later
I hang up.

An hour later I'm back home, she calls again...

her - rude boy
me - why?
her - who were you with?
me - (girl's name)
her - *abuse*
me - chill out, I thought we were over
her - I want you back
me - I don't (listening to your advice guys, but only as far as screwing with her head goes :rockon: )
her - you're an as5sh*ole
and then she hangs up.

I decide to go to bed, around 5 minutes pass, she calls back
me - Calm down please, this is what you wanted
her - I don't know what I want
me - Not surprised. I do.
her - Yah, me, everyone does
me - I don't
her - *starts crying*

This is where I fail fail fail


me - I love you
her - good, (kisses over the phone), sweetdreams, goodnight

I'm going to ignore her as much as possible tomorrow!

Any other advice???

 

[Igetit!]

Any other advice???

Well I have no advice to give.

Seems like "I'm in the Mood",Bukowski_merit,Kailex,and the others have already given you pretty sound advice with you've CHOSEN to ignore,so there's no point in giving anymore.

However,I do have a question....

I got so far tonight, and totally failed!
This is where I fail fail fail


me - I love you
her - good, (kisses over the phone), sweetdreams, goodnight

You see the part that I put in BOLD? Umm...WHY did you say that to her? Why did you tell her that you loved her?



Look,I've read this thread and the responses you've received,and when I read how you told Bukowski_merit that you didn't mind a bit of drama,I kinda figured that any advice of common sense and good judgement given to you would only be wasted....and I was right,but if you want to date this girl reguardless of her STUPID and childish behavior,then have at it I say.



Seems like you have oneitis to me,and trying to talk common sense to a guy with oneitis is like trying to tell a woman in an abusive relationship to leave....it's pointless.


So since you have your mind make up to chase after this adolescent behaving "woman",I say to go for it,but after everything that was said in the conversation you just posted between you and her,why...WHY did you tell her that you loved her?


It seemed that you may have been making some progress in winning her back,then you go and do that?


WHY?

I'm going to ignore her as much as possible tomorrow!

And what's ignoring her supposed to do? You exposed your hand dude,you told her that you loved her.


Reguardless of what you do now,she's ALWAYS going to have that to fall back on,to drag before you if need be. And in case you didn't notice,she DIDN'T say it back. Her response was,"Good,sweet dreams,goodnight",as if she was trying and trying and trying to get some type of emotional reaction of out you,and she FINALLY got it.


Then once she got it,instead of calling you every 5 minutes like she did before,she got her emotional "fix",then took off...haven't heard from her since.



Ok,so now what?

 

[sagexx]

also in same situation here, ex wants attention whenever she wants and calls me an a$$hole for not providing it. so i guess advice would be trying to not be available or pick up the phone as much. try to be busy, not act busy, but actually do something. go out and enjoy and lave less time for those bs. This will get ur mind off it, but i can not guarantee the outcome.

one more thing.... WHY ARE YOU CONSTANTLY PICKING UP HER CALLS?

 

[brekke]

I never understand these things. If you are broken up, why would you still talk to each other? It is really strange. Next time she calls, grow some balls and tell her that you do not want to hear her voice because her mouth is only good for one thing. Then ask what time she is coming over, and if she starts to b!tch, just hang up.

 

[boomerick]

OP--

Dude how long have you been comming to this site? Your join date says 5 years ago but I don't see it..

This entire post is over the top AFC....

1. This relationship failed for a reason, why go back?????

2. Why turn into the worst kind of supplicating p*ssy????

3. Why after all this do a TOTAL frame surrender????

EPIC FAIL says I

Your sentence ---- Go back and re-read the DJ Bible. Obviously you need to brush up on the basics.

Eject yourself from this foolishness. Have you no self respect?

GEEZ!!!

Over and Out.

 

[ENIGMA16]

You know, you do bring up valid points

- the girl may be a child

- the girl may be psychotic

- the girl may not be the one for me

But, it does not change the fact that what I want is to be back with her.

Oh my god. Get a fvcking grip dude! "Yes this girl might ruin my life but my feelings say that I should get back with her and I have absolutely no control over myself so I must do it anyways."

What is wrong with you? There's obviously something mentally wrong with you as you are knowingly pursuing a psychotic, childish b!tch that you even openly admit "may not be the one for [you]." Are you some kind of masochist?

Let us know when you've finally given up trying to get this worthless piece of trash back and finally are willing to accept some advice. Until then, there's nothing more for us to really say to you.

 

[Kailex]

But, it does not change the fact that what I want is to be back with her.

As a confident, successful, man at the top of his game, all that matters is what I want.

me - I love you
her - good, (kisses over the phone), sweetdreams, goodnight

MASSIVE FAIL.
Definitely TOP of your game there, eh?

What more advice could you possibly want?
She's PLAYING you. We told you to move on from this, and you chose to ignore it. And you're wrong, she knows what she wants... VALIDATION, and as soon as you gave it to her... she was OUT.

You had the entire thread blow up in your face.

You could have spent all this time trying new women instead of wasting your time trying to swim uphill in a canoe with a banana leaf as a paddle.

Next time, don't sit here and selectively pick the advice you want to hear or that suits you best, there's a reason we told you what we told you... and now, you know why.

And it's not because we're bitter, and it's not because I'm hurt by a breakup, its because I've seen the patterns.

My advice: Same as last time, move ON from her. It's a waste of time.

And as Igetit! said, she didn't even say "I love you" back. She's clowning you. She probably got higher than a kite provoking that emotional response out of you. Oh and newsflash: You can ignore her all day, but trust me, she'll keep calling til you talk to her and she'll do the same thing all over again... and you WILL fail again.

Because as you said before, while you boldly claimed that you held the frame and she was SO into you:

Heck, even a lot of men don't know what they want and don't mean what they say.

At least we know that what you want is to look like a fool in the eyes of this girl. Good job so far.

 

[styleman]

Right, let's make things clear

I'm asking for advice how to get back with this girl.

I don't really give a flying rats a5s if some guys who've never met the girl think that she's 'not the one'

Yeah, I screwed up telling her I love her - big deal, I went to sleep after that and was relieved she would let me sleep, so who cares!

I have no reason to justify why I'm selectively listening to advice. I'll judge the girl myself when I need to, I don't need you guys to judge her or me or our relationship. All I want to know is how to get her back, thanks.

 

[In$tinct]

You could have spent all this time trying new women instead of wasting your time trying to swim uphill in a canoe with a banana leaf as a paddle.

Another great quote from Blade "Some mother F'ers are always trying to ice-skate uphill."

It happens every time, if you allow it to. You start moving on... Her Spidy sense goes off so she tries to rope you back in. Once you give back a little emotional fuel to her, without making them earn every ounce; they drive off until they run out again.

Same story, different day... But, sometimes, the lesson must just be learned the hard way. I know, I put my hand back on the hot pan more than one time before I learned my lesson.



Now, every interaction, is at my terms. Even though, I am not foolish enough to think I am ever 100 percent in control.

 

[Kailex]

(1) You're obviously either a troll or just not in tune with a human brain.

(2) I hear Loveshack.org could possibly help you.

(3) Since you INSIST and just want to ignore REASON (Because, you're emotional, much like a female), here's my sure-fire way to you getting her back:


#1 - You sit down and gather a collection of movies. Source material is very important. I recommend: The Notebook, Dear John, Love Actually, and Pretty Woman. This is the "Recovery Kit". Other users might cite several other movies, but I think these four will get you off to a good start.

#2 - As you are watching these movies, make sure you get in touch with the emotional YOU. Make sure that down deep in that core of yours, you have become in touch with your feminine side. It helps to have tissues next to you. For the reason alone, leave The Notebook for last.

#3 - As soon as you are done with the movies, get on your computer and look up poems that describe your ex as the ONLY ONE for you. This is a good idea. After all, she IS THE ONE. Right? Even though she probably left you and right now is getting DPed by two guys and blowing a third, she IS THE ONE. Any poem that says that your life without her is not worth living, is probably preferable.

#4 - Print out said card and then make sure you begin making a website. 10 years ago, anything on Angelfire or Tripod would have been perfect. But now, start a blog. You should be in tune with your emotional core after the movies and the card, so write a blog about how much you miss her and add pictures into the blog. You know, some people are challenged mentally and need pictures or illustrations. Who wants to be bothered with words?

#5 - Visit ftd.com. Just make sure you don't order flowers from the Father's Day category. Who wants to receive purple tulips? Make sure you ordered the REDDEST roses in there with the biggest vase. Send those to her home address. She'll appreciate it. If she works, send her a second arrangement to one of the classes you take together. Make sure you send a balloon with the arrangement that goes to work and that it has text saying: "Styleman & Chick, LOVE FOREVER".

#6 - Once you have the first 5 steps down, it's time to hire the musical help. Mariachi's CAN work, but if neither of you know Spanish, forget it. Just go to your local Starbucks and enlist the help of a few hipsters that you know might have guitars and bongos. Now, you can go to either her place or to class/work with the musical group. Make sure that you go to the place where there's more people at... so they can all witness how much you love her. It's not public humiliation. She'll love you for it. Make sure they play something from Celine Dion. Chicks love that.

#7 - If she studies or works at a place with a window view, hire a skywriter to write out your name and hers and make sure she can see it. If she doesn't, just take a picture and make sure you put it up on the blog. She'll love this.

#8 - By now, these 7 steps will have her FULL of love for you. This is when you make the last move. Head to a veterinarian and tell them you want to be neutered. When the vet looks at you confused, tell them that it's an act of love. Tell him that you did Steps 1 - 7 and he'll nod and understand. After all, that Vet is probably an AFC too and is probably ball-less as well. Make sure that after the procedure, the Vet keeps your balls in a cooler with ice.

#9 - Mail your balls over to your ex. She already has them in a figurative sense, why not do this in a literal sense? Bonus points if you get her name inscribed into them before you send them to her. If she already has you by the balls, why shouldn't she have your pair with her name on them? She'll definitely see that you are the prize by then and want to get back with you. If she hasn't by Step 9, she's just a soulless b!tch who obviously doesn't know how to appreciate a man like you.

I hope my steps work for you.
It's guaranteed to work. Just make sure to tell her to keep those testicles on ice, you know, in case she ever wants them reattached or you decide to become man enough to grab them from her and reattach them yourself.


She's an ex for a reason and as an ex she shall stay.




EDIT: Since I truly don't want to spend another post on this idiotic thread. Styleman, before you go on trying to feel special thinking I spent all that time typing that up for you,here ya go:

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?p=1694624#post1694624

I've posted it before. Enjoy.

 

[In$tinct]

Right, let's make things clear

I'm asking for advice how to get back with this girl.

I don't really give a flying rats a5s if some guys who've never met the girl think that she's 'not the one'

Yeah, I screwed up telling her I love her - big deal, I went to sleep after that and was relieved she would let me sleep, so who cares!

I have no reason to justify why I'm selectively listening to advice. I'll judge the girl myself when I need to, I don't need you guys to judge her or me or our relationship. All I want to know is how to get her back, thanks.

To answer your question... My best answer would be that you need to make her "think" she is "trying" to get you back. You being the chaser seems to push her away, you need to flip the role again.

Seriously, good luck if that is what you are after. I "believed" I wanted my ex-wife back for 7 months after she walked out on her sons and me. Today, she is living in an apartment with her new BF, and has been without her children and electricity for 9 weeks. She is 40 weeks behind on child support, and it is only $30 per week for 2 boys. When I wanted her back... I also ignored all these warning signs about who she really was.

 

[styleman]

(1) You're obviously either a troll or just not in tune with a human brain.

(2) I hear Loveshack.org could possibly help you.

(3) Since you INSIST and just want to ignore REASON (Because, you're emotional, much like a female), here's my sure-fire way to you getting her back:


#1 - You sit down and gather a collection of movies. Source material is very important. I recommend: The Notebook, Dear John, Love Actually, and Pretty Woman. This is the "Recovery Kit". Other users might cite several other movies, but I think these four will get you off to a good start.

#2 - As you are watching these movies, make sure you get in touch with the emotional YOU. Make sure that down deep in that core of yours, you have become in touch with your feminine side. It helps to have tissues next to you. For the reason alone, leave The Notebook for last.

#3 - As soon as you are done with the movies, get on your computer and look up poems that describe your ex as the ONLY ONE for you. This is a good idea. After all, she IS THE ONE. Right? Even though she probably left you and right now is getting DPed by two guys and blowing a third, she IS THE ONE. Any poem that says that your life without her is not worth living, is probably preferable.

#4 - Print out said card and then make sure you begin making a website. 10 years ago, anything on Angelfire or Tripod would have been perfect. But now, start a blog. You should be in tune with your emotional core after the movies and the card, so write a blog about how much you miss her and add pictures into the blog. You know, some people are challenged mentally and need pictures or illustrations. Who wants to be bothered with words?

#5 - Visit ftd.com. Just make sure you don't order flowers from the Father's Day category. Who wants to receive purple tulips? Make sure you ordered the REDDEST roses in there with the biggest vase. Send those to her home address. She'll appreciate it. If she works, send her a second arrangement to one of the classes you take together. Make sure you send a balloon with the arrangement that goes to work and that it has text saying: "Styleman & Chick, LOVE FOREVER".

#6 - Once you have the first 5 steps down, it's time to hire the musical help. Mariachi's CAN work, but if neither of you know Spanish, forget it. Just go to your local Starbucks and enlist the help of a few hipsters that you know might have guitars and bongos. Now, you can go to either her place or to class/work with the musical group. Make sure that you go to the place where there's more people at... so they can all witness how much you love her. It's not public humiliation. She'll love you for it. Make sure they play something from Celine Dion. Chicks love that.

#7 - If she studies or works at a place with a window view, hire a skywriter to write out your name and hers and make sure she can see it. If she doesn't, just take a picture and make sure you put it up on the blog. She'll love this.

#8 - By now, these 7 steps will have her FULL of love for you. This is when you make the last move. Head to a veterinarian and tell them you want to be neutered. When the vet looks at you confused, tell them that it's an act of love. Tell him that you did Steps 1 - 7 and he'll nod and understand. After all, that Vet is probably an AFC too and is probably ball-less as well. Make sure that after the procedure, the Vet keeps your balls in a cooler with ice.

#9 - Mail your balls over to your ex. She already has them in a figurative sense, why not do this in a literal sense? Bonus points if you get her name inscribed into them before you send them to her. If she already has you by the balls, why shouldn't she have your pair with her name on them? She'll definitely see that you are the prize by then and want to get back with you. If she hasn't by Step 9, she's just a soulless b!tch who obviously doesn't know how to appreciate a man like you.

I hope my steps work for you.
It's guaranteed to work. Just make sure to tell her to keep those testicles on ice, you know, in case she ever wants them reattached or you decide to become man enough to grab them from her and reattach them yourself.


She's an ex for a reason and as an ex she shall stay.

Ha ha ha ha ha....

You went to a lot of effort for a joke, but thanks for the laughs!

Okay, so you don't seem to think I should get back with her - I'm sorry but I don't care, I didn't ask whether or not I should.

Of course its possible to get her back, whether that means altering my behaviour, being indifferent to her, forgetting about her, or even something that isn't reverse psychology...

Just a thought, some of us have been with enough girls to know that they all have negative traits, they all will tease you and fvck with your head, they will all have some bad qualities.

This girl has shown me many times that there is an underlying respect and love for me - the reason she behaves disrespectfully at times is because she tries to push the boundaries, as a child would, and when I can be bothered I ensure that she realises she can't do that.

As I say, there may be a million better girls out there. I couldn't care less, a lot has been built up with this girl (2 years), and even if she has lost attraction towards me, she still is very much emotionally attached.

I'll say it again, if anyone can give decent advice how to win her back, I'd be grateful. Those who want to judge my relationship with her, go ahead its good to hear all perspectives, but don't think your talking to someone who wants to change. I wouldn't mind settling down. I've never had a problem getting girls, I simple come to this board for advice on getting girls to behave the way I want them to. I've been on this board a long time, I've dated many girls. I think those of you who just give up because 'she dumped you' are AFCs to be honest. Girls are not to be taken seriously.

 

[styleman]

To answer your question... My best answer would be that you need to make her "think" she is "trying" to get you back. You being the chaser seems to push her away, you need to flip the role again.

Seriously, good luck if that is what you are after. I "believed" I wanted my ex-wife back for 7 months after she walked out on her sons and me. Today, she is living in an apartment with her new BF, and has been without her children and electricity for 9 weeks. She is 40 weeks behind on child support, and it is only $30 per week for 2 boys. When I wanted her back... I also ignored all these warning signs about who she really was.

Thank you sir. You're right she seems to be a fan of the chase, and perhaps the break-up was a result of things getting to easy for her, no more chase, which I admit to.

If she really is that bad, then I hope I'll see the warning signals early, at the same time you can't possibly say that just because a girl breaks up with you she's bad news... I haven't had kids with this girl so I must say its a different playing field.

Very often I will justify her behaviour at the moment as a result of things I may have been doing wrong in the relationship, perhaps being too easy (would spend ages on the phone to her, change schedule to be with her a lot), not giving her enough drama (when together she would try to wind me up saying this guy is hot etc etc I wouldn't give her any reaction and this enraged her all the more because she wanted me to get angry and jealous). So once I have 'fixed' the way I respond to her, I will defiantly look for white flags.

 

[In$tinct]

Thank you sir. You're right she seems to be a fan of the chase, and perhaps the break-up was a result of things getting to easy for her, no more chase, which I admit to.

If she really is that bad, then I hope I'll see the warning signals early, at the same time you can't possibly say that just because a girl breaks up with you she's bad news... I haven't had kids with this girl so I must say its a different playing field.

Very often I will justify her behaviour at the moment as a result of things I may have been doing wrong in the relationship, perhaps being too easy (would spend ages on the phone to her, change schedule to be with her a lot), not giving her enough drama (when together she would try to wind me up saying this guy is hot etc etc I wouldn't give her any reaction and this enraged her all the more because she wanted me to get angry and jealous). So once I have 'fixed' the way I respond to her, I will defiantly look for white flags.

I have posted in another thread, the NC challenge one I believe, that I am one of the few people that think that relationships can be saved/fixed... W.E. If both parties have changed enough, and discovered the cause of the failure to begin with. But, more times than not, it didn't work out for a reason.

 

[The Proof]

I'm going through the same exact thing with my future ex-wife. Seriously the same exact thing. So my advice if you want her back is to reject her. Its worked already for you. If you stick to it for a couple days or even a week, she will come back. So don't answer phone calls, emails, or texts for a few days.

My future ex-wife is the same type of person, drama is her drug. She's a child mentally and has no idea how to process emotions, only react to them. Which is why if you reject her it will get her back. She wants what she can't have.

The relationship won't get any better, it will only get worse and she will up the drama level every time. At some point in time you will have to look in the mirror and decide if this is the type of life you want to live or the type of man you want to be. Just sayin.

 

[drak_ool]

Styleman, I'm sorry you are in this fvcked up situation and your feelings have gotten the best over your brain. One day (w/er you get her back or not) you will wake up from this bad dream thinking "what the hell was wrong with me?"

Dude, I read your OP and I read most of this thread, so I understand your situation. I'm not giving you advice on what to do with this chick because you don't want to listen to anything that is contrary to your views.

However, like others have pointed out before, there are massive incongruencies in your story. You claim you're on top of your game, yet you tell a girl that treated you like shyt that you love her? You say you're drowning in pvssy, yet you want this psycho bytch back in your life?

I will tell you this much: if you were truly the DJ you think you are, this thread wouldn't exist. You say in your first post you don't know why things ended, but take a good honest look at yourself and the way you've been acting around this girl, and maybe you can find the answer on your own...