Styleman,
You WANT the girl back, then go for it. We can tell you a million reasons why you shouldn't do so, but it wouldn't register in you because you have already CHOSEN to go ahead and get her back.
I've been there, done that. At the end of it all, I got a little more hurt, a little more jaded, and a little wiser. So, it MIGHT NOT be a bad thing to go ahead and get this girl back. Some people learn the hard way
But I understand, deep down in us, when we read advice about not getting the girl back because it is not going to work out, we have a voice nagging at us and telling us - but this girl is different, i am different. my game is tight and i will make it work out somehow.
So, since you asked..
When you get into a "verbal tussle" with her, and decide to end the convo aka hang up, tell her you are not talking to her until she has straightened out her thinking and stopped being like a pendulum, swinging back and forth.
Tell her, if she says that she wants you back, that you will take that into consideration, because you have shared some great memories with her, BUT there's gotta be some positive changes in her behaviour before you will take the plunge again.
ALTERNATIVELY,
Tell her you give you and her 2 weeks to see if it works out.
But I've gotta say this. Like all the other posters whose golden advice you ignored, I think it will not work out. From experience, even if she "tames" herself and curbs her bad behaviour, puts up her best behaviour and gets back with you, all these will last barely more than 2-3weeks before the inner terrorist in her gets unleashed again.
So if you want this, and you want her back, and you want to keep her. The key is to blast her ass off the pedestal and i know you are going to tell me you did not put her on one. But think of it this way, the reason why u want to get back with her, and why you are refusing to listen to our advice is because you have fallen in love with a mental image of her you painted for yourself. Reality is far from that image, judging from what you've told us in your original post, but yea I've been there done that too.
At some point, I told my girl not to take my niceness towards her as weakness, because I will bail out from her life faster than she blinks her eyes if she throws me disrespect and takes me for granted.
You CAN get her back, alot of pain and effort will be in store, and you gotta start by shifting the focus back onto your own life. AND STOP LOVING HER. She's gotta earn that love again.
Here is a little quote from u :
1. I realise that she's a psycho and you guys are all right
-no loss
No loss? Time, attention, energy, are vital resources to us men. Tell me, if you manage to "salvage" this r/s for another half a year before hell breaks loose again, would this half a year be returned to you upon breaking up? No. So you better make sure you are living life on your own terms in the time that you are attempting to get back with this girl. and your own terms does not refer to you getting back with the girl. No. that is not success. Success is living your life to the fullest, and then enjoying the girls that come along.
2. She falls in love with me, and does not treat me like her doormat.
- gain
Yada Yada. You want this? Then kick her off that pedestal. She is treating you like a doormat because you are presenting yourself to be one. That's why she plays with you and ****s on you with all that drama, on a daily basis. She knows she has you twined around her fingers and she can do whatever she wants because you want her back. STAND UP FOR URSELF. Set your boundaries and be clear what you want, and what you dont want from her. **** on her if she crosses these boundaries. Gain her respect, and you will get her love. Don't buy into her frames ever.
Of course, I would have to remind you that there is a possibility you are wanting to get back with her because of a bruised ego that she doesnt love a great man like you. I've been there and done that too.
or I can do what a lot of you are saying and forget her
3. Don't persue her anymore, forever live with the fact that she could have been the girl I marry and spend my life with
- HUGE LOSSS
You can also pursue her, keep on doing it for years, and then wake up one day realizing that many other great women you could spend a happy life with and marry have passed you by, and it is all too late. TIME is both an ally and an enemy.
