get numbers but they dont ever answer what am i doing wrong?

[drift king]

i been having problems getting dates recently.. i'm studying abroad at the moment and been using the same routines i use back home and get a lot of numbers but none of them ever pick up.

then i started to think ok i need go back to basics, im not increasing their IL enough. so i've been working on that this week, yet still i get the numbers but they dont answer, go figure.

in my country we dont pay to receive calls but here they do so i dont know if thats a factor in the equation but either way you'd think they'd send u a text after/later.

back home the girls will tell u straight out they dont give their number out.. here they seem to look interested and just give it out thinking 'oh well i can just ignore the call so he'll get the msg' it's really frustrating cos they dont give me fake numbers, i call their phone there and then but i cant understand why im having this problem.. i had no problems date closing after i got the number back home so there should be no reason why im suffering now.

the past 3 times it all has gone the same way, get the number, they dont pick up. its over. i dont know if its culture where i am but theres lots of people from different countries yet they all act in the same way, give out the number dont answer.

im about to go out now to go get some more cos thats the only way i can improve but it has me baffled. i'm waiting the right number of days im using the c+f, negs everything. apart from accidently ignoring 1 from a few days ago i just dont know why i have such a low return rate.

should i be adding more to the pick up to increase IL, any tips?

 

[drift king]

i dont mean to fret so much but my mind basically thinks, ok i called she doesn't pick up (on purpose) tho i should really think she might be doing something right then and will call me later when she can but usually it never ever happens, and if it does it will be like 5 mins later.

i've learnt to realise girls are surgically attached to their cellphones so they are screening your call rather than just being busy, and if u dont get a call back straight away after chances of u getting 1 later are slim.

 

[Igetit!]

Can you give a basic,general description of the way you normally interact with a girl? What I'm asking is...

How is your bodylanguage when you approach a girl?

What you do say when you approach her? Be accurate on this. What EXACTLY do you say?

How do the women normally respond to you?

Is the conversation one-sided? Is it just you asking the questions only,while she answers them while not asking anything relevent herself?

Now here's a big one: Do you generate any emotion in her? And I mean anything--happy,sad,nervous,jealous,anger,any feelings at all?

Try to answer these questions as accurate as possible. Also,if there's anything else you think may be be important that I left out,then feel free to add it in as well.

 

[drift king]

Can you give a basic,general description of the way you normally interact with a girl? What I'm asking is...

How is your bodylanguage when you approach a girl?

What you do say when you approach her? Be accurate on this. What EXACTLY do you say?

How do the women normally respond to you?

Is the conversation one-sided? Is it just you asking the questions only,while she answers them while not asking anything relevent herself?

Now here's a big one: Do you generate any emotion in her? And I mean anything--happy,sad,nervous,jealous,anger,any feelings at all?

Try to answer these questions as accurate as possible. Also,if there's anything else you think may be be important that I left out,then feel free to add it in as well.

my body language is very confident, i dont always go in direct i may use an indirect opener as an excuse to start talking to her talk to her about the indirect thing for about a minute then move into stuff about her asking where she's from/what she's doing here etc (im studying abroad so is she) then i throw in a few negs act a bit c+f.

her interaction is good, shes asking me the same questions like she's genuinely interested in me (although this could be LJBF territory also cos when you're abroad there's a tendency to try to be open to new friends) i make sure i dont fall into this category by being funny and charming. she asks me how old i am (thinking im too young) i tell her im older than her but wont give her my age until after some playful teasing. then i negged her by saying girls like her are trouble..as they say u should watch out for girls with iphones (she had an iphone) so she found that quite funny.

all in all it seemed like a good pick up.. i should have left maybe 2 mins before that but in terms of a time window to leave it felt as if i left at the best possible latest time to then get the number and split.

i suggest we go for a drink sometime. i wait for her response. 'sure ok' then i go 'ok lets exchange numbers' we exchange numbers i miss call her there to make sure its not a fake number (i take hers 1st then call her there and then)

all in all i'd have given myself 7&1/2 out of 10 if i was being modest.

the only thing which would have caused a problem is that 2 days ago as i mentioned in my thread yesterday i was waiting outside the campus gate for a friend and i was wearing my sunglasses and because im near sighted i cant see very far but i noticed this hot blonde girl walking towards me, i wasn't sure if it was her but i think she may have waved/smiled at me from a distance. i just stood there looking stern barely waving or smiling, she walks past as if she didn't know me.. im not even 100% sure if its the same girl due to my sight issues.

but from what i've read in the dj bible that would work in my favour, show your high value then next time u see them, show your disdain and contempt, i pretty much blanked ignored her as if i HAD called her and she didnt pick up and i was bitter, but i didnt call until today. i dont know what she would have been thinking when i accidently blanked her but my instinct straight after was ..'hmm i think that 1 might be over now..' my instincts are usually right, even though theres no reason for me to be cynical. its like when i call and they dont answer there and then i assume they wont call later. so i dont have the right frame of mind that 'oh she'll get back to me later im such a prize i cant believe it if she doesn't call'

now i know i can probably stil get her but it requires me to bump into her again this week and recharm her, remind her what she was missing out on .. but the sosuave rules state u should be a challenge so dont overpursue.. my feeling is if i ignore her and act uninterested she'll just think its cos she didnt return my call and i'm bitter.. so how can you really get around this?

it happens so many times i dont know what to do.

 

[drift king]

pick up no 2 this week:

now this scenario was different, as i rate myself every time on a pick up to see how well i done i knew it was easier to open this 1 as i'd talk to her before with her friend in a shop once when they were buying something that i was looking to buy too.

when i saw her i was like 'hey so hows that thing working out for you?'

then i go into asking where shes from etc etc shes really tall, too tall for me yet i still drew attention to her height which she probably is insecure about asking her how come she never wears heels trying to get a feeling of how she feels and that i understand her, that was the idea.. i didnt do a good job of it but in the past with tall girls i have. it left them thinking 'oh he understands me..'

it seemed to go ok, i went into relationship talks and cultural differences cos shes from a more independent society where men and women are equal, i asked her if she asked a guy out before etc.

then i went for my usual number close, she seemed less enthused than the other girl i mentioned but its hard to say. same drill, get the number etc. i just felt that she'd think 'i like him but hes too short for me' cos i felt the same way that she was way too tall for me to even consider it so no point in calling to save face.

but overall i'd say 6/10 in terms of a pick up. i called her straight after the other 1 but its only been since friday i got the number so maybe it was too soon, i have a tendency if i dont a girl doesnt answer her phone i automatically call the next girl in line even if it may be too soon to call just on the off chance cos i feel bad. weak move i know.

it seems i know what im doing wrong right? but what can i do in terms of conversation tips to increase interest more than i am?

 

[DonGorgon]

Well numbers no longer mean anything to women they will give their number to damn near anyone cause they know they can simply do what they are doing to you - ignore the caller.. I have seen women put "ignore" in place of a dudes name in thie phone so when they call they simple ignore and never know it was you ..lol

Women are doing this due to the over population of desperate men. its a new filtration system women are using. If they tell you no many desperate men get mad but they give it to you you walk away happy only to be mad later..lol

To avoid this you have to be:

1. very good looking
2. rich
3. popular
4. desirable to her

but even then she may still ignore u cause she has so many options.

 

[RandallLambert]

Don't do numbers anymore. Get her name and get her on Facebook. That way you know what she likes / doesn't like, what she's into and if you're really interested. Then ask for her number over Facebook. Then when you meet you can have a seduction tailored to her specifically.

 

[COD]

they dont pick up. its over.

What kind of wuss thinking is this????????????

1) always send a text PRIOR to calling a number to help her answer/ID yourself.

2) have a cool just in case voicemail message if it goes to voicemail.

3) try at different times/days

4) move on

 

[drift king]

they dont pick up. its over.

What kind of wuss thinking is this????????????

1) always send a text PRIOR to calling a number to help her answer/ID yourself.

2) have a cool just in case voicemail message if it goes to voicemail.

3) try at different times/days

4) move on

when i said if they dont pick up its over, i meant that in the past when this happens i usually dont get a call back so it's over. only when they call straight after my call is when im likely to get it in my experience.. but its been like 5 hours.. ok ok she may have stuff to do but regardless i've never had a positive experience where if its been more than 3 hours have they called back or returned my call which gets into a web of discontent where i resent her for not playing ball and not sure how to turn it around without overpursuing.

i.e. if i act disinterested she'll think it's cos she didnt return my call, so thinks im bitter rather than lost interest. i cant win.

isn't there like a 2 call max rule? doing 3) means u call more than a few times i dont want to leave like loads of miss calls, i think the fact she hasn't returned the call is an indicator shes not interested anymore.

why do i need to send a text prior to calling? she has my number, she knows who it is she saved it in her phone.

where i am the phones are very annoying, they only ring 5 times then it goes to a message saying they did not answer, you cant leave voicemail.

im better off seeing her in person, however how should i behave react about her not returning my call?

should i bring the issue up jokingly and say that shes blowing her chances with me?

 

[drift king]

Well numbers no longer mean anything to women they will give their number to damn near anyone cause they know they can simply do what they are doing to you - ignore the caller.. I have seen women put "ignore" in place of a dudes name in thie phone so when they call they simple ignore and never know it was you ..lol

Women are doing this due to the over population of desperate men. its a new filtration system women are using. If they tell you no many desperate men get mad but they give it to you you walk away happy only to be mad later..lol

To avoid this you have to be:

1. very good looking
2. rich
3. popular
4. desirable to her

but even then she may still ignore u cause she has so many options.

i agree with you but its change cos back home where im from the girls will say 'oh i dont give out my number'

here all the girls no matter nationality or behave in the same way, give u the number and then dont answer.. it's crazy.. its like they all got together and said ok when we're in this country we're going to do this to guys.. go figure.

could me blanking her by accident and looking stern really affected her IL in me 2 days ago?

i was having a good day that day.. i had a girl naked in my bed i got another number, tho that didnt materilaise to anything but maybe i should have date closed her in person there and there.

 

[COD]

text-people ALWAYS READ THE TEXT yet not everyone answers their phone.

So If I sent a text "HEY ITS ME PICK UP GUESS WHO I SAW" odds are this or something similarly enticing migh INCREASE your odds of a call back.

U got dis-interested cause she didnt call right away.........thats kinda childish and unrealistic today (people are busy).

Now as far as the time lag between a response and date not sure if any scientific evidence present to support such allogations. Interesting theory though..........the larger the time lag the less anticipation level.

A few factors arise............

1) how you got the digits in the first place (in person/on line, etc)

2) her interest level at the time of digit extraction

3) her situation (dating, single, work schedule, just broke up, how many messages she gets in a typical day, etc)

4) kind of messages you are telegraphing............are they generic questions, sexual undertones, ar they lame/boring.

 

[drift king]

text-people ALWAYS READ THE TEXT yet not everyone answers their phone.

So If I sent a text "HEY ITS ME PICK UP GUESS WHO I SAW" odds are this or something similarly enticing migh INCREASE your odds of a call back.

U got dis-interested cause she didnt call right away.........thats kinda childish and unrealistic today (people are busy).

Now as far as the time lag between a response and date not sure if any scientific evidence present to support such allogations. Interesting theory though..........the larger the time lag the less anticipation level.

A few factors arise............

1) how you got the digits in the first place (in person/on line, etc)

2) her interest level at the time of digit extraction

3) her situation (dating, single, work schedule, just broke up, how many messages she gets in a typical day, etc)

4) kind of messages you are telegraphing............are they generic questions, sexual undertones, ar they lame/boring.

im not sure i follow, are you saying i follow up with a text after the call with no answer straight away?

thing is if i were to send a text like that i'd need to be able to follow it up with who i actually saw.. haha.. there must be something more i could use, besides wouldn't the conversation be about me trying to get her to come out? if she doesn't call back on her own accord then she's not interested right? or could she really just forget given her busy schedule? but that would show low interest..

umm.. i think i answered all 4 things in my above but long posts (sorry about that) can you read up and let me know what im doing wrong?

i gave a play by play scenario how i picked her up in the 1st place.

 

[drift_king]

Let me guess, you're getting all these flakes from cold approaches, right?

yes but in a different sort of setting.. im in college and the girls i pick up are in my college so though its a cold approach we're on familiar ground.

i cant figure out what im doing wrong approach wise.. is it just the pure fact it's a cold approach?

 

[drift_king]

Cold approaching is good in that it gets rid of your approach anxiety and builds your conversation skills, but in my opinion, that is all it is good for. Just randomly approaching every girl and getting her number is no indication of whether she is attracted to you or not: she could give her number out to every guy, or she just gave out her number to get rid of you.

I still cold approach, but I don't go for digits anymore. I only use them as practice to build my social skills which, for someone who had severe social anxiety, I need all the practice I can get.

What I've learned is to focus on making myself as attractive as I can be and to just have a good time. You need to chill out and lower your anxiety level and you will start to notice that certain girls will be sending you signals that they WANT you to come talk to them. Then you step to them, smile and flirt. If the vibe is cool, get the number and basically, the work is done. She has already chosen you as someone who she would sleep with as long as you don't screw it up. You call and they answer; they return your calls; they call you out of the blue; they invite you to hang out, etc. And as your self-confidence continues to improve, your body language and voice will reflect these upgrades and you'll start noticing progressively hotter women sending you signals for you to approach.

I think you should keep cold approaching, but just step outside your body and observe the interaction from above; you say something and watch her reaction, if it is negative, recalibrate and try something different and see if she perks up. Try a bunch of stuff and learn; you just have to get out of your anxiety long enough to objectively observe each approach.

There is nothing wrong with your approach, it appears that you are approaching women that aren't attracted you. Sure, they could of been attracted to you before you talked to them and your words screwed it up, but that doesn't appear to be the case here.

Lift weights, eat right, dress well, basically improve yourself and start watching for girls that are trying to get your attention.

Girls all the time complain about how so and so guy won't take a hint that she likes him. They try all their tricks to get you to step up to them, but the guy is oblivious; he is so stuck in his head from all the anxiety that he simply doesn't notice and is left randomly approaching girls like a blind squirrel looking for an acorn. Sure he'll find one every once in a while, but think of how his success rate would skyrocket if he could see and had a detailed map showing where every single acorn was buried.

but because i am in college we have a mutual thing in common already so does it still count as cold approaching?

i picked her up in the local supermarket next to campus but we were walking side by side for most of the duration from campus to the supermarket, i didnt actually talk to her until we were inside i didnt want to give her the impression i noticed her that much (shes superhot) and i didnt want to pick her up on the street.

she must have recognised me from campus. is that still a cold approach?

i get a lot of numbers inside campus in 1 big building, is that still considered cold approaching?

im not sure if because its a cold approach she feels guillty afterwards for giving me her number cos maybe in her head she judges other girls who get picked up in obscure places.

either way i dont like the idea of having to go out of my way to go find her to recharm her.. its obviously easier for me to contact by phone but if shes not responding and not going to listen to what i have to say by not answering then im forced to see her in person again to recharm.. if she wont stop to talk then i'll have to give up.

the thing is like you say maybe they weren't interested in me, but im sure the hot 1 i got in my above post was interested it felt like it went better than the other 1 i did in pick up 2. maybe the IL dropped after a few days, maybe i should have called her that night i duno but when u make eye contact with these hot girls they just look blankly staring forward pretending they dont see you, they haven't met me they only judging me physically so i have to go in and approach and run my game, i thought it was airtight but clearly im saying something or not portraying a high status male that makes me desirable to them.

what DHV spikes could i add into the conversation that would make me seem more desirable and prizeable in their eyes?

 

[Duffdog]

. You need to chill out and lower your anxiety level and you will start to notice that certain girls will be sending you signals that they WANT you to come talk to them.

But most of the time, those girls are not the hot girls...yeah, I see chicks trying to get my attention, but I don't care because they aren't hot enough.

Then you step to them, smile and flirt. If the vibe is cool, get the number and basically, the work is done. She has already chosen you as someone who she would sleep with as long as you don't screw it up. You call and they answer; they return your calls; they call you out of the blue; they invite you to hang out, etc. And as your self-confidence continues to improve, your body language and voice will reflect these upgrades and you'll start noticing progressively hotter women sending you signals for you to approach.

Well, this works up to a point. At the point when the females are more physically attractive than you are, it stops. Most likely, what is happening is the OP is going for the super hottest girls without being a super hot guy.

I think you should keep cold approaching, but just step outside your body and observe the interaction from above; you say something and watch her reaction, if it is negative, recalibrate and try something different and see if she perks up. Try a bunch of stuff and learn; you just have to get out of your anxiety long enough to objectively observe each approach.

There is nothing wrong with your approach per se, every approach is a learning experience; it just appears that you are approaching women that aren't attracted you for one of a billion illogical reasons women feel at the moment. Sure, they could of been attracted to you before you talked to them and your words screwed it up, but that doesn't appear to be the case here.

Lift weights, eat right, dress well, basically improve yourself and start watching for girls that are trying to get your attention.

We are returning to the theme of "be lucky enough to be born attractive and the girls will come" Which is fine, but not very helpful in this instance.

Girls all the time complain about how so and so guy won't take a hint that she likes him. They try all their tricks to get you to step up to them, but the guy is oblivious;

Thats because they aren't hot.

he is so stuck in his head from all the anxiety that he simply doesn't notice

Because they weren't hot!!!! FVCK!! guys don't notice average girls. We tend to only notice the top 10%

acorn. Sure he'll find one every once in a while, but think of how the squirrel's success rate would skyrocket if he could see and had a detailed map showing where every single acorn was buried.


Imagine how your success would skyrocket if instead of 50 cold approaches, you approached and got digits from 50 girls that you KNEW were already interested in you.

again... I guess I could be content banging every single 6-7 girl that looks at me, but thats not what I want. I am unsure if the OP just wants to get laid or wants to get very attractive girls. There is no way to get both at the same time. Either you pursue the hotties and chance rejection, or you allow yourself to be pursued and get laid by a bunch of average girls. Here is a tip: In order to score a mega hottie who actually respects you, you have to be some sort of exceptional guy who stands above the rest of the guys. Just being an average guy who goes out and works the girls by numbers will never amount to anything. I recently asked a 10 who was dating a slightly above average guy why she was with him. Her response was that she could do anything she wanted and he would always take her back because she KNEW that the guy had no chance of scoring another girl as hot as her. In short, she was looking for ego validation at the expense of the guy. Do you want to be that guy?


You will still get flakes, but they are usually attention hors. You'll learn to spot them after a couple encounters.

yeah

 

[xdreamz]

i only had that happen to me once and that was i guess because i only talked to her for 10 seconds. if you're studying abroad it should be way easier because you're something new. its good to give her your number too and tell her your name so she can save it and know its you. the basic setup you should have is that you're new to the place and would like someone to help you learn the language, or show you a good place to hang out.

 

[drift king]

the thing is i want to be direct i dont want to pretend im new to the place and would like help etc.. i dont want a friend im trying to get a hot girl. i rather she reject me then friend-zone me.

what i want to know is what conversational tips or DHV comments can i make to demonstrate high value?

i alreayd stand really confidently i speak slower to make them linger on my words but i dont think i do/say anything that triggers enough emotional desire in her. i need her going away wanting/craving me but i seem to have too many 50/50s or girls not that interested or have other guys they're more interested in.

does the DJ bible have something like this?

 

[Your_Royal_Flyness]

i been having problems getting dates recently.. i'm studying abroad at the moment and been using the same routines i use back home and get a lot of numbers but none of them ever pick up.

then i started to think ok i need go back to basics, im not increasing their IL enough. so i've been working on that this week, yet still i get the numbers but they dont answer, go figure.

in my country we dont pay to receive calls but here they do so i dont know if thats a factor in the equation but either way you'd think they'd send u a text after/later.

back home the girls will tell u straight out they dont give their number out.. here they seem to look interested and just give it out thinking 'oh well i can just ignore the call so he'll get the msg' it's really frustrating cos they dont give me fake numbers, i call their phone there and then but i cant understand why im having this problem.. i had no problems date closing after i got the number back home so there should be no reason why im suffering now.

the past 3 times it all has gone the same way, get the number, they dont pick up. its over. i dont know if its culture where i am but theres lots of people from different countries yet they all act in the same way, give out the number dont answer.

im about to go out now to go get some more cos thats the only way i can improve but it has me baffled. i'm waiting the right number of days im using the c+f, negs everything. apart from accidently ignoring 1 from a few days ago i just dont know why i have such a low return rate.

should i be adding more to the pick up to increase IL, any tips?

Basically stated, these females are giving their number to you for one of the following reasons (keep in mind that I am not trying to offend you):

a) They do not want to hurt your feelings
b) They like the feeling of guys sweating them
c) They want you to go away
d) All of the above

Unfortunately women in the US are not the only ones who are notorious for not being up front. It can be just as bad if not worse in other places. They will lie to you in your face with a CLEAR conscious and say that you're "sweet", "nice" and a "great guy". But they have no intentions on getting with you. Actions speak louder, my friend.

So how do you avoid this? Depends on your approach. All in all, be more mysterious. Act elusive. When you speak to a woman, talk a bit slower, make your voice more full, seem relaxed and maintain good eye contact. At times, act slightly uninterested. If you have a myspace page or personal profile somewhere, I'd be happy to give you some feedback. It could be as simple as your clothing or maybe in your approach. Who knows?

Good luck!

 

[nismo-4]

Basically stated, these females are giving their number to you for one of the following reasons (keep in mind that I am not trying to offend you):

a) They do not want to hurt your feelings
b) They like the feeling of guys sweating them
c) They want you to go away
d) All of the above

Unfortunately women in the US are not the only ones who are notorious for not being up front. It can be just as bad if not worse in other places. They will lie to you in your face with a CLEAR conscious and say that you're "sweet", "nice" and a "great guy". But they have no intentions on getting with you. Actions speak louder, my friend.

So how do you avoid this? Depends on your approach. All in all, be more mysterious. Act elusive. When you speak to a woman, talk a bit slower, make your voice more full, seem relaxed and maintain good eye contact. At times, act slightly uninterested. If you have a myspace page or personal profile somewhere, I'd be happy to give you some feedback. It could be as simple as your clothing or maybe in your approach. Who knows?

Good luck!

Or: e) They don't think you're sexy enough
f) They know you're not rich
g) They think you're lame
h) They don't think you're popular enough

Dude, women lie! They'll turn you down then gag on another man's magic stick! And that being mysterious sh*t, thanks to the pick up artist. The population of desperate men is overgrowing by the minute! Now women have so much more defenses than what they did 20 years ago.

 

[bam bam]

Don't do numbers anymore. Get her name and get her on Facebook. That way you know what she likes / doesn't like, what she's into and if you're really interested. Then ask for her number over Facebook. Then when you meet you can have a seduction tailored to her specifically.

bad advice... most attractive woman and woman that are socially decent will have guys in the thousands on their facebook. Avoid facebook at all costs most of the time it's a disaster. I have gf who log onto fb around me and their email boxes are swamped with msgs. One girl emily i know had over 300 msgs sent to her. On average these girls get 20-30 msgs a day from chumps. So unless you want to be apart of that inbox spam avoid it.

Get a number close call them and go from there. Ability to talk to woman after you get their number will increase the better you get. The better the foundation for your social interactions the more solid contacts you'll get. Numbers that you can't get a hold of a girl is something you should get used to. Do your best to be yourself have fun if you exchange contacts and they dont pickup twice. Move on dont lose time and energy chasing meaningless lose ends. If it's that hard to get in contact with her at first what do you think is down the road? It wont get any easier for you especially after you give off the chumpish feel to her from calling too much. There's too much you can be doing wrong but start one thing at a time fix that and move on to the next thing.

Bams