Hi all- I'm a lurker on sosuave and a frequent reader of rationalmale. I am familiar with the fundamentals (have read the Bible, etc). I thought I'd give you some background on myself and ask for your advice.
I am a 26 year old male virgin. I have a lot of friends. I am pretty well off for someone my age (I have no debt and a 6 figure salary, my parents are well off if it matters). I am above average looking: 5'11", athletic build (165lbs, have been lifting regularly for 9 months and have bulked up from 140lbs), dress very well (yet masculine). Appear "confident": I am funny, I speak confidently, smile/give eye contact, etc.
So, I think I have these things going for me. On the flip side, I am a virgin and have never dated someone for more than 2 months. Despite being a virgin, I've done a lot just short of having sex (have gotten head, handjobs, heavily made out, etc). Most of this was in high school some ~7 years ago and I was probably intoxicated for most of it. Since then I have been very academic/work focused.
The only "relationship" I've had in recent memory was someone (HB8ish) who I worked with and who was intensely attracted to me (and I to her) while I was able to maintain my confident alpha facade until 8 weeks passed without me kissing her and she lost interest. It was 8 weeks strictly of me "gaming" her with ****y-funny, etc but very little physical intimacy (yet she was showing REALLY high interest). What's crazy is that when she quit showing interest abruptly at week 8, I had no idea why. Regretfully, I even tried switching to a beta for a few days to try to "win her back." Ugh. I talked to someone on this forum and they confirmed that it was my failure to escalate. Anyway, I went strict NC and although I was tempted early on, I stuck with that shiit and I'm better for it. I never got friendzoned, which I'm proud of, and I don't return her messages. Hopefully she hates me rather than thinking she friendzoned me. These are consolation prizes though, I still fuc'ked this up.
Excuses I've made for myself: I work 70+ hours a week, and they are very irregular. Plus it is a stressful job so I never really feel that I am "off." When I finally have time off, I want to rest and relax. Since this 8 week relationship, I haven't asked anyone else out (has been about 6 months). The truth is that I've read about all the "steps" online, but really don't feel like I know what I'm doing in a relationship or how to escalate physically. There are a lot of girls who I can tell are attracted to me, but they are HB 5s-6s, and I have so little time, I don't want to spend it gaming some HB5 when I'd never date one. The HB8+s that I like rarely show interest. The simple truth is that I will not lower my standards to someone I'm not attracted to.
So what it comes down to is this: I've always have been the guy that had everything figured out. And for the most part, this is true. Where it's not true is with women. I have little experience, little time, but a great desire to find an attractive woman both for s'ex and for a relationship (but who am I kidding: probably more for the s'ex lol). On the upside, many of my friends have taken the blue pill, and although they are more experienced than me, they are in a monogamous relationship with unattractive girls who nag at them to take the garbage out. Further on the upside is that my schedule is a little better for the next year so I will have some time to date.
Please offer any tips, encouragement, suggestions, etc. I'd like to get this s'hit figured out.
Thanks
I am a 26 year old male virgin. I have a lot of friends. I am pretty well off for someone my age (I have no debt and a 6 figure salary, my parents are well off if it matters). I am above average looking: 5'11", athletic build (165lbs, have been lifting regularly for 9 months and have bulked up from 140lbs), dress very well (yet masculine). Appear "confident": I am funny, I speak confidently, smile/give eye contact, etc.
So, I think I have these things going for me. On the flip side, I am a virgin and have never dated someone for more than 2 months. Despite being a virgin, I've done a lot just short of having sex (have gotten head, handjobs, heavily made out, etc). Most of this was in high school some ~7 years ago and I was probably intoxicated for most of it. Since then I have been very academic/work focused.
The only "relationship" I've had in recent memory was someone (HB8ish) who I worked with and who was intensely attracted to me (and I to her) while I was able to maintain my confident alpha facade until 8 weeks passed without me kissing her and she lost interest. It was 8 weeks strictly of me "gaming" her with ****y-funny, etc but very little physical intimacy (yet she was showing REALLY high interest). What's crazy is that when she quit showing interest abruptly at week 8, I had no idea why. Regretfully, I even tried switching to a beta for a few days to try to "win her back." Ugh. I talked to someone on this forum and they confirmed that it was my failure to escalate. Anyway, I went strict NC and although I was tempted early on, I stuck with that shiit and I'm better for it. I never got friendzoned, which I'm proud of, and I don't return her messages. Hopefully she hates me rather than thinking she friendzoned me. These are consolation prizes though, I still fuc'ked this up.
Excuses I've made for myself: I work 70+ hours a week, and they are very irregular. Plus it is a stressful job so I never really feel that I am "off." When I finally have time off, I want to rest and relax. Since this 8 week relationship, I haven't asked anyone else out (has been about 6 months). The truth is that I've read about all the "steps" online, but really don't feel like I know what I'm doing in a relationship or how to escalate physically. There are a lot of girls who I can tell are attracted to me, but they are HB 5s-6s, and I have so little time, I don't want to spend it gaming some HB5 when I'd never date one. The HB8+s that I like rarely show interest. The simple truth is that I will not lower my standards to someone I'm not attracted to.
So what it comes down to is this: I've always have been the guy that had everything figured out. And for the most part, this is true. Where it's not true is with women. I have little experience, little time, but a great desire to find an attractive woman both for s'ex and for a relationship (but who am I kidding: probably more for the s'ex lol). On the upside, many of my friends have taken the blue pill, and although they are more experienced than me, they are in a monogamous relationship with unattractive girls who nag at them to take the garbage out. Further on the upside is that my schedule is a little better for the next year so I will have some time to date.
Please offer any tips, encouragement, suggestions, etc. I'd like to get this s'hit figured out.
Thanks
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