Gene Simmons: Don't ever do that, I'm a man.
Terry Gross: No. Let's get to the studded codpiece.
Gene Simmons: Oh yes.
Terry Gross: Do you have a sense of humor about that?
Gene Simmons: No.
Terry Gross: Does that seem funny to you? Are you --
Gene Simmons: No, it holds in my manhood.
Terry Gross: [laughs] That's right.
Gene Simmons: Otherwise it would be too much for you to take. You'd have to put the book down and confront life. The notion is that if you want to welcome me with open arms, I'm afraid you're also going to have to welcome me with open legs.
Terry Gross: That's a really obnoxious thing to say.
Gene Simmons: No it's not, it's being -- why should I say something behind your back that I can't tell you to your face?
Terry Gross: Wait, it -- it -- has it come to this? Is this the only way that you can talk to a woman? To do that shtick?
Gene Simmons: Let me ask you something. Why is it shtick when all women have ever wanted ever since we've crawled out of caves is, Why can't a man just tell me the truth and just speak to me plainly? Though, if I do that -- you can't have it both ways.
Terry Gross: So you really have no sense of humor about this, do you?
Gene Simmons: Oh, I'm laughing all the way. You know, we're --
Terry Gross: Oh, to the bank, right?
Gene Simmons: Well of course. [laughs] Don't I sound like a happy guy?
Terry Gross: Not really, to be honest with you.
Gene Simmons: I was going to suggest that you get outside of the musty place where you can count the dust particles falling around you. And get out in the world and see what everybody else is doing.
Terry Gross: Having sex with you?
Gene Simmons: Well, if you chose, but you'd have to stand in line.
Terry Gross: Well, that's the thing. We might as well get to this since you ... since you keep bringing it up. Uh ... yeah. You've had 4,000 --
Gene Simmons: I didn't actually, you did.
Terry Gross: You write in your book you've had 4,600 sexual liaisons --
Gene Simmons: You're supposed to say "so far."
Terry Gross: So far.
Gene Simmons: Right.
Terry Gross: To you, this will be asking the obvious, but why have you wanted so many encounters?
Gene Simmons: I can only spell it in three letters. M-A-N. When a woman ... and, look, I'm not here to say that I'm a scientist, or pretend or portend to be anything else -- those are semantics of course, but then neither you or I are anti-semantic. The notion is plain. And I read a book called Myth of Monogamy, which actually, sort of, uh, approached the subject and verbalized it, and I finally understood what it was. Because every woman suspects that the man she's laying next to is not necessarily going to be, well, "faithful" is the word. And privately she tells her girlfriends, "Oh God, all men are dogs." You're correct. And I'm here to tell you that in my deluded , uh, perspective, perhaps, it's biological. The first, "man" -- and women -- if man was predisposed to be monogamous, and we all lived in caves at that point, there were one or two alpha males, and the rest were females. Either way, if we were monogamous, within one or two generations, we would all be cross-eyed and retarded. Get it?
Terry Gross: So let me ask this. You say you've had sex with about 4,600 people. Women.
Gene Simmons: Women. Yes.
Terry Gross: Um, do you actually count? I mean do you have, like, a book --
Gene Simmons: You know, you know, I never --
Terry Gross: -- in which you keep hash marks, or --
Gene Simmons: I never paid much attention to it, because I've always lived my life the way my mother taught me to live with, which is that every day above ground is a good day. Don't look over your shoulder at society's rules, or whether or not you please anybody else except you, because at the end of your life, right before they stick you underground, you can't go into the "would'a, could'a, should'a." You can't do that great Jewish joke. What's a great Jewish whine? "I wanna go to Palm Springs." Doesn't fly. You're responsible for your own happiness, and women have to get that notion of, don't look to your guy. You have to figure out what makes you happy. And I did, a long time ago. I'm an only child, and I had a lot of time to figure it out. And so what I figured out a long time ago was, every day should be enjoyable, a, if you will, um, Epicurean hedonist. Look it up in your Funk & Wagnall's. And what it means is, life is the pursuit of pleasure. And I've done very well pursuing it. And so the band has been around 30 years. We're right behind the Beatles in the number of gold records by any groups in history. Somebody likes us. Women, and their sisters, and their moms, seem to want to express their adoration and/or fan-worship, or perhaps they want to see if my oral appendage actually does have a spin-and-dry cycle, and whether or not it has the ability to whip up a good froth. Ladies, I'm here to tell you it does. So for whatever reason they deem me worthy of their companionship, I was more than glad to oblige. And so, almost 30 years ago, I started taking photos. Polaroids. And I still have them to this day. And so, when the book was being written, Crown Publishers, who published my book, wanted to know -- you know, you can't just say "I did this" and "I did that," you have to give specifics. So I sat down and started counting. One, two, and so on. And arrived at about 4,600 and change.
Terry Gross: Are you interested in music, or is the goal of being in a rock band to have sex a lot?
Gene Simmons: I believe in my heart that anyone who gets up there and says what they're doing is art is on crack, and is delusional, and that in point of fact, what they really ... their modus operandi initially -- perhaps it changed when they started to question their sexuality, but clearly, initially -- it was to get laid and make lots of money. And anybody who tells you otherwise is lying to you. The reason we all wanted to pick up instruments initially ... you know, publicly, anyway -- I will grant you there are those people who really love music and simply want to do it as a private pleasure. The jury is out, I have no comment, but as soon as you get up publicly and want other people to hear it, it seems odd that we really get off on the notion that the opposite sex, the fairer sex -- that's you -- like what we do. And perhaps, if we do it really well, you'll think, "Gee, he's not only talented and bright, but he's kinda cute, too." That's what we're hoping for. Against all odds. And in music, it's the great aphrodisiac that says that even though I'm short, fat, ugly, bald, and ... and I'm hung like a second-grader, but if I'm in a rock band, I've got a better than average chance of bedding you down than if I was a dentist. I didn't make those rules. I come from Israel. I'm ... I'm simply a student at your feet. This is what I've noticed.
Terry Gross: Are you interested in music at all?
Gene Simmons: Don't you love this interview? Tell me the truth.
Terry Gross: Well, I think it's kind of a drag, because you're making speeches.
Gene Simmons: That's right.
Terry Gross: And you're being intentionally obnoxious. [laughs]
Gene Simmons: No, I'm not. I'm being a man.
Terry Gross: That's what I mean. You're being intentionally obnoxious by defining everything that you're saying as being a man.
Gene Simmons: For me. Well, I can't talk --
Terry Gross: I know better, I know all men -- a lot of them -- don't define --
Gene Simmons: No, no, no, no, no.
Terry Gross: -- define it the way you're speaking.
Gene Simmons: I always define ... No. You're wrong. I always defined it as "for me." I kept doing that over and over again. What bothers you is you're finally hearing a man tell the truth, instead of "You're the only one I'll ever live with and you're the ..." He's lying. He's lied ever since he was twelve. "I promise I'll pull out." He's lying, and I refuse to play that game, I refuse to stand up in front of a rabbi and my friends and the woman I love -- who I will tell you I can love with all my heart -- and promise she will be the only one I will ever have until the day I die. That's a lie.
Terry Gross: Do you like the movie Spinal Tap? And do you think that Spinal Tap, um, has any comment, uh, on ... on --
Gene Simmons: Rock and roll? Sure. Oh yeah. Sure. I think it's all funny. When you really think about it, I'm not delusional enough to think that what I do is important to life as we know it on this planet. No. But neither is what you do. You know, the world can get along very well without us. Farmers are more important. Teachers, and firemen, and so on, because if they're not around it really affects us. Your job and my job, whether you wear less makeup and I wear more makeup, is to entertain people. And I'm here to tell you: I'm very entertaining. I don't know about you. But this is NPR. [laughs]
Terry Gross: What exactly is NPR in your mind?
Gene Simmons: I never knew! It always sounds like a sixth-grade schoolteach -- see, if I was in charge, give me the reins, I would get -- National Public Radio! [snores] People start snoring. I'm not questioning the content. You should have bright people on. Maybe you should never have me on again, if you don't think I'm bright. Clearly it should be a wonderful place for people who read and are bright to have a conversation, a discourse perhaps, without hearing whatever it is you hate about the outside world. Fine. How about some style? Give me a little -- give me a little spice, instead of this bland ... Have you ever heard the Saturday Night Live version? It's pretty spot-on.
Terry Gross: Have you listened to it enough to know if it's spot on?