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Gas Attack!!

Oxide

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I do it in my room.. it makes my roommate cry and turn extra fans on.
I do it in the lunchroom, it makes people run
I do it in a car, it makes my passengers roll down the windows quick
I do it while Im having sex.. it makes the girls stop licking my $@!%


If you eat a lot of protein you know - THOSE FARTS ARE DEADLY.

So post your stories.

Yesterday I was squatting and right before a set i knew i had to let one rip. so i walked across the gym to let er rip and then came back through the tunnel of stench.. As I sit on the bench next to a friend, I smell it - it is BAD. I am astonished that it came back with me, but he jumps up and says "We should go, I just let one rip!"

I do it at least once every 15-20 minutes. The record so far is like 7-8 farts in a row.. a string of tears.

Tuna tuna tuna, what have you done to me!?
 

blinkwatt

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One night it was so bad my brother who sleeps 15 feet down the hallway in his room got up in the middle of the night and used the can of Lysol to try and eliminate the smell....No use resistance is futile.
 

howardalex

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my mate did it in the dumbell room at the gym, we both left just after he did it and this other guy walked right into it lmao

other good one was when I was doing the leg press for the first time
 

Oxide

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when i was little i went to a girls bathroom at a theater with my mom. I ripped ass as i was washing my hands and left.

my mom comes out and goes - did you fart?

i go - yeah, why?

her - all the women were looking at each other like "who did THAT!?"
 

djbr

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Oxide said:
If you eat a lot of protein you know - THOSE FARTS ARE DEADLY.
Muthafvcka whey protein almost killed my social self! :crackup:
 

Oxide

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Man your nuts must be growing hugeeee after all these deadlifts, I better get on it!
 

dj ben2

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i was at school (yr 11) and i was doing it all period they were the orst ive ever smelt. i did about 5 in a period of 40 mins and each and every time the teacher evacuated the class for 30 secs each time they were discusting thank god my buddy trains and eats tonnes of protein too so he was a worse reputation
 

KarmaSutra

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A recipe for disaster.

This will guarantee an emptied room:

2 warm pepsi's
1 cantaloupe
1 bag of chili cheese fritos
and if you're feeling especially frisky, throw a banana in the mix.

Fvck. In ten minutes you'll be radioactive.
 

diplomatic_lies

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Mine are the "silent and deadly" farts. No sound at all, I just feel a small rush of air, and then I'm sitting in Ground Zero.

The great thing about silent farts is you can blame someone else. I remember a date in a "cosy" (small) restaurant. I accidently felt the hiss of death, so I gave the waiter a dirty look, and suddenly everyone else thought it was the waiter.

(Yes, I did leave a good-sized tip...felt sorry for the poor kid)
 

Hank Rearden

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You have gas. That makes me laugh.
 

It doesn't matter how good-looking you are, how romantic you are, how funny you are... or anything else. If she doesn't have something INVESTED in you and the relationship, preferably quite a LOT invested, she'll dump you, without even the slightest hesitation, as soon as someone a little more "interesting" comes along.

Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.

BluEyes

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Mine are the "silent and deadly" farts. No sound at all, I just feel a small rush of air, and then I'm sitting in Ground Zero.

The great thing about silent farts is you can blame someone else. I remember a date in a "cosy" (small) restaurant. I accidently felt the hiss of death, so I gave the waiter a dirty look, and suddenly everyone else thought it was the waiter.
Made my day.
 

Oxide

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I love the fart game..

"it was you!"
no, you!
whatever, farty!

i once ripped going back from chicago in a van. and we have been out drinking all nightbefore. you can guess what happened next. I was almost kicked out of the van because nobody could breathe.. i even had a **** stain!
 

Oxide

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WATER DOES NOT HELP ME!! I drink like a camel and fart like im trying to sufficate everyone in my building.

Everyone knows my fart power already and fully accepts the potential hazard of coming into contact with me especially after my post workout meals.
 

Celadus

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Half a cup of raw oats twice a day in my protein shakes took away all my gas. Makes trips to the bathroom quick too..
 

Well I'm here to tell you there is such a magic wand. Something that will make you almost completely irresistible to any woman you "point it" at. Something guaranteed to fill your life with love, romance, and excitement.

Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.

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