G/f seems too friendly with my buddy and mentions him a lot

[Duracell_Bunny]

Would bringing up this issue with my g.f make me look weak?

I feel very annoyed to the fact that there writting on each others Facebook walls back and forth or commenting on statuses nearly all the time.

Generally when were having the odd chat on the phone, shes always like "did xxxx go?" etc. mentioning this person a bit too oftern.

Clearly she's taken a liking to my friend, she also seems to be a bit flirty when he's about, like we went bowling the other night she got a strike and ran up hugging my friend. On a night out (lots of drink involved), she even linked with his arm a couple of times.

I accept the fact that she could very much be stringing him along but wondered if it would be an AFC move to bring it up with her?

As far as our relationship goes interest is all good, when she sees me she will not let go of me especially when sleeping together, sex is regular and great. So far a quality girl. We first met a good 10 months ago.

I have hinted to her a few times, especially once it angered me slightly (all though I didn't show this, I hope, told her I found it very strange) when we went out as a group with within my social circle while I was at work she had been chatting to my friend on facebook and they had made all the arrangements, times etc. before she even spoke to me.

I've got it all in my head to be careful of this, although if anything bad happens I know she'll be rebounding straight to my friend - who is a bit of an AFC who takes anything going without thinking about the concerqiences (bad spelling I know).

I'm so temped to tell her if she carries on with this attitude towards my friend I will leave her.

Cheers.

 

[Tiguere]

looks like you dont have any female friends. 2 can play that game!

this is the time to start gathering female friends since you are comitted. its easier than when you are single. you dont know what may happen tomorrow. i mean this can all be a product of your insecurities seeded deep within your brain or this can be a spark between you friend and girlfriend?

how long have this guy been your friend? how you met him?

 

[ProDJ26]

Really? Don't be so gullible bro you know what your gut says so just dump her and move on. Once you lose a woman theres always another that'll become religious have some self respect

 

[Real Talk]

I personally would have an issue with this, especially with the hugging and arm linking when they are together. Next time they do stuff like that just intervene in a non confrontational way, like casually going between them and putting your arm around your girl while kiss her on the cheek or something. What you should NOT do is play that game where you try to make her jealous by finding other girls to do it to. What does that solve? It's not like she will stop doing it.

it could be an insecurity thing to some extent but like i said before it would bother me if I was in that situtation. Its definitely not afc to be direct about it. it bothers you, so you should bring it up.

I too would like to know about the circumstances with how you became friends with the dude. if you and the girl are in an LTR, immediately starting to "slowly detaching yourself' is dumb. Bring it up to your woman first, and if you don't get the results/response you want, go from there. I mean, she is sexing you, so you obviously aren't going to throw that away, right?

 

[Duracell_Bunny]

how long have this guy been your friend? how you met him?

Known this guy for about 5 years, met on a lads holiday (he was in the group) usually the one I see the most as he lives locally, we also train together. Invloved a lot in the same circle of people.

I think moving on right now would be a bit extreme, she is far too much of a quality girl that treats me like gold (well other than showing disrespect on one subject).

I just want to get the point across to her. Sounding like a female, it proberbly may be time for a bit of drama.

Im worried that brining it up would make me look insecure from her point of view.

 

[f283000]

I'm so temped to tell her if she carries on with this attitude towards my friend I will leave her.

You never verbalize jealousy to a woman EVER! That would seal your fate right there and then. That's handing her your balls and letting her know how weak you are.

What you need to do yourself is stop concentrating on your gf so much and have some fun yourself. She's obviously having fun flirting with other males (in this case your friend) so why don't you do the same?

1. Don't be afraid to check out other women (and make sure she sees you doing it).
2. Don't be afraid to flirt with other women with she present.
3. Don't be afraid to talk to other women with her present (make sure she's present).

Doing the above is always recommended not just in your particular case but with any girlfriend. It's all part of keeping them on their toes and making them feel like you are a guy that could leave at any time. When they feel they got you (which I get the feeling is your case) that's when they start to disrespect you.

BTW lesson learned for next time try not to include your gf in your social circle so much if at all. Sometimes it's best to keep friends and girlfriend separate. Many times you will end up splitting up and she will keep mingling with your friends so it will make things very ackward and just horrible for you as you will have to avoid your friends to also avoid seeing her.

In this case if you split up you will lose not just her but possibly your friend of 5 years. Try to keep a separate life from your girlfriend rather than including her in everything you do.

 

[Slickster]

Don't be insecure.

If he truly is a friend and she truly is a good person then they won't do any thing to disrespect your relationship.

If you feel like she has does something disrespectful let her know immediately that you won't tolerate that. Same goes with your friend. After that ONE warning see what happens. You'll know fairly quickly if these people deserve to be in your life.

 

[tryst type]

Dealt with a similar situation before with a girl. She would always mention one of my friends hinting towards having an interest in him. I'd ignore it, brush it off, passively acknowldge it. It got to the point where she wasn't getting the hint that it wasn't something I'd address or play to so I said "why are you asking me about (friend's name) are you trying to make me jealous or something? Because I don't tolerate games like that let alone entertain them" she quickly switched to apologetic mode dropping sorrys here and there basically supplicating to me. Never had a problem since.

Maybe you should be assertive in a quit your behavior way without sounding jealous and see what happens. It'll help you decide what to do next

 

[jtlancer]

Now when I read this type of thing I immediately think that you are simply not dominating her in the bedroom.

http://www.youtube.com/user/whyteshooz
"Don't be p&ssy whipped! Whip That p&ssy!"

 

[ProDJ26]

Your problem is that your to too fvcking scared to be alone. So one of two things will happen:

1) You leave now and end up getting a hotter girl who treats you waaay better

or
2) You stay she leaves you for him anyway and depression sets in

Then were all gonna say "We told you so"

 

[theLT]

I would have to agree with ProDJ26 on all levels, your gut is your best friend and it doesn't lie. You can rationalize all day, bring up the issue, act jealous - whatever, but the bottom line is that she has no respect for you and when a girl can't respect a MAN she can't feel passionate towards him either. Drop her now before it's too late and this thing blows up in your face.

 

[Warrior74]

1. Keep your mouth shut.

2. Step your game up (what ever you have gotten lazy about in this relationship, fix it).

3. Spend some time on your own interests.

4. Have fun with and without her.

5. Beat it up like no tomorrow in the bedroom.

If she leaves or cheats, she does, so what? You can't control other people. What you can do is control yourself.

 

[Jeffst1980]

Women do this all the time. It's just a game- she's trying to get a rise out of you. Play it cool and don't even acknowledge it. It's not like she's going to make out with your friend in front of you.

As long as she's showing high interest in you, you have nothing to worry about.

 

[HolyG]

Hit on other girls in front of her. its amazing how effective giving girls own medicine back to them can be....

Change her with your ACTIONS not your WORDS.

 

[powpow]

Yeah, I think a lot of you fellow djs have been there man. Me too. This is why single life is great.

My experience, I did talk to her. I was young, and it was my first girlfriend. For the remainder of the relationship, I felt as if I had lost a little bit of my manhood. It became kind of impossible from that point, and we broke up.

The second time this happened, I just did what the other don juans have suggested to you, and it built a sort of jealous attraction. She began to chase me again, and things were swell.

Now I am single. And I believe single is the way to be.

Queen Elizabeth I, the most powerful in my opinion of all of the queens of that era, said that she would rather be poor and single than rich and in a relationship. Just food for thought.

 

[Duracell_Bunny]

Ok I will hold back from calling her out on it for now and try to ignore or not go into any detail if she brings up anything regarding my friend.

In the meantime I have trust in my friend, as what it appears to be from his side is that he's trying to network with her to get into her social circle of chicks (even though most are taken, he's mentioned a partiular who isn't a couple of times).

Although its obvious that my current g.f. doesn't see it that way hence the rapport building up between them.

If I end the relationship Im sure they will be arranging some sort of date straight after - As mentioned in my earlier post, this guy asks out almost anyone he meets thats single, I know she would accept and that would be very painful for me. I know I shouldn't show that to anyone but I would have an excruciating time in that situation that would linger on.

As far as I know, the only way they communicate is through facebook. I have been already trying to keep them apart, before this last event the last time they had seen each other was around xmas, although its kinda hard when my friends ask me to invite her or even worse, ask her directly on FB.

They think I don't go on FB at all, I really just go on there to look at photo's etc. Its tempting to get involved in their banter.

I don't think its the fear of being alone, its the fear of them getting together. If it was a guy I don't know that wouldn't be a problem for me.

Don't get me wrong, I admit she has got me and the reason of being alone or her staying in touch with my friend is not the reason why I want it to continue.

 

[PrettyBoyAJ]

Ok I will hold back from calling her out on it for now and try to ignore or not go into any detail if she brings up anything regarding my friend.

In the meantime I have trust in my friend, as what it appears to be from his side is that he's trying to network with her to get into her social circle of chicks (even though most are taken, he's mentioned a partiular who isn't a couple of times).

Although its obvious that my current g.f. doesn't see it that way hence the rapport building up between them.

If I end the relationship Im sure they will be arranging some sort of date straight after - As mentioned in my earlier post, this guy asks out almost anyone he meets thats single, I know she would accept and that would be very painful for me. I know I shouldn't show that to anyone but I would have an excruciating time in that situation that would linger on.

As far as I know, the only way they communicate is through facebook. I have been already trying to keep them apart, before this last event the last time they had seen each other was around xmas, although its kinda hard when my friends ask me to invite her or even worse, ask her directly on FB.

They think I don't go on FB at all, I really just go on there to look at photo's etc. Its tempting to get involved in their banter.

I don't think its the fear of being alone, its the fear of them getting together. If it was a guy I don't know that wouldn't be a problem for me.

Don't get me wrong, I admit she has got me and the reason of being alone or her staying in touch with my friend is not the reason why I want it to continue.

Delete the facebook. It's causing trouble. Trust me.... Read my thread lol

 

[tony-montana]

my ex did the same thing once with my friend. they kept poking each other and giggling and jumping together on the trampoline... but at the end of the night i was the one fuking her. some girls just like to be friendly to everyone and yeah, thats a weak move to tell her that. she'll think ur insecure and needy

 

[Duracell_Bunny]

Ok I think I may have sorted this out by chance.

I had a gut feeling something was off when posting this topic, the night after I had thought she had lost interest entirey. We have planned to see each other the follwoing night, she text in the day asking if were still on for that night, I could'nt respond as I was at work. By the time I'd got home got this text saying "can't be bothered now, will talk later".

Anyways, phone call comes in from her, with general chit chat but also how she was all pee'd off that I didn't respond to her original text, of which I explained I was at work, saw her second text and thought fair enough, went without her anyway. Inviited her to come along to the gym with me for the following day as I planned on doing some cardio. Her answer was "no not interested" of which I responded "are you at home right now?... I want to chat to you about something?". I was thinking to go round her place and end the relationship there and then.

Her response was "Oh my god! Oh my god! Oh my god!!!, I'm sooo sorry I didn't mean it like that, I was being sarcastic".

Following day, she had gone out and bought a lot of food, insisting on cooking it for me after our gym session. That evening at mine she brought up the subject saying how sorry she was and being very cuddly.

At bed time it hit me, I read (could have been incorrectly) that she declined sex. Couldn't get her turned on, which I usually find easy, and kept her legs shut, yet she was in a childish kiddy mood. Light went out and there was a massive distance between us (we normmaly end up snuggling up to each other). In the morning she asked whats up, I stupidly pointed out the fact the refused sex and something doesn't feel right. She was completely shocked by that, put her clothes on and went downstairs. I thought she was going to leave, but actually returned with a coffee (for me) and got back into bed all emotional and all "I can't beleive you just said that".

After a brief discussion, not really an argument as such, ended up getting all physical again, had vigourous sex. After she went into soppy mode saying "You got me, I'm not going anywhere ok?". She then started doing some of my housework while I was getting ready for work, like putting washed clothes out to dry, WTF??? I told her she doesn't have to do that but she carried on.

As far that guy, shes commenting less on FB, and when she mentions him to me its complaining about him saying "I can't beleive he put this as his status, what an idiot".

I'm getting texts while I'm at work saying things like I make her so happy and saying she misses me and can't wait to see me at the weekend. Over the phone last night she was making all these arragements for things that are weeks away.

I've still got my witts about this and she hasn't convinced me but have started giving more attention to other women, she did catch me checking out a babe while we were in the sauna the other night, I've also added a couple of her freinds on Facebook and some other chicks she doesn't know, or have no mutual friends with her. Im not really a fan of facebook but I know shes on there like 24/7 and must have seen this.

 

[PrettyBoyAJ]

Her being on facebook a lot is a red flag for me. But more power to you as it seems like your in control. Hopefully, this is the whole story.