that was bloody hilarious!!
SO much for the MTV wigger version... what really happened was...
Your granny FORCED you to wear some proper funeral cloth. You didn't have a decent suit, so she pulled one of grand dads old suits from underneath the mothballs...
You hated having to wear it, but didn't wanna risk your birthday money, which is always pretty good from granny and buys you at least a few bags of grass. So instead you rebelled against the oppression by putting on a politically incorrect t-shirt that had a picture of an old hag on the front and "your mother sucks c0cks in hell" on the back.
Then you got into the church and spotted some hotty, so you went over there hoping you could sit next to her. You asked the old hag to move, but she spit some venom your way and nagged something at you about respect for senior citizens. Instead of going into the offense, you made a promise to yourself to check the obituaries for her name and go piss on her grave after they bury her.
So with the old hag not wanting to move and now having her hand in her purse where pepper-spray or bottled sulfuric acid could be hiding, you just poof your ass down in between the old hag and the hotty and give both of them that charming smile you got on myspace.
Now you are leaning in to the hotty and winking at her. A hymn comes up and she gets up and sings along as the perfect opportunity to remove you from her personal space. You pinch her ass, she turns around and slaps you on the face, right after the old hag swings her 1000ml cologne bottle laden purse dead in your smacker. In a moment of confusion the dead women's grand son stands in front of you and lifts your scrawny 100lbs ass 10" off the ground and gently places you at the door with the hotty watching the whole thing from afar...
Not wanting to lose face you ponder your option for a moment. Your first thought is to bash him with AMOG one-liners, but becoming momentarily overwhelmed with intimidation of his physical size, compared to yours, you panic and go into a full blown attack. You screech like a school girl and start hammering the flat of your fist into his chest while screaming "STAY DOWN BROH STAY DOWN I AINT PLAYIN!!" with a high pinched voice... The guy keeps cool and just says "look fella, i can't let ya back in there, you have...stop that!... you have to go now ok?!", and then grabs your wrists and pulls up your arms to disarm you and then throws you to the ground.
You stand there *****ing for a moment about "how he messed with da pimp and da homies are gonna come for him"... then the guy stomps on the ground and you run away screaming and come here to vent.