Friends with benefits?

[spurnout]

Friends with benefits? Edited

First off...WTF does that mean? I don't get it.

Let me give some background with me and this girl. I met this chick from online...not even directly...she was just friends with another chick that I was already friends with so we finally met and hung out one day. It was a bunch of us and i never had interest in her then. As time went on we hung out more and more but always as friends and i still didn't have interest. Then she started dating this guy who is a prick and no one really likes him and me and her didn't talk or hang out that much when they were together.

Recently they finally broke up...the final break up...and me and her have been hanging out a ton. She basically slept over at my house for a week and only went home when I was at work during the day. She's always been pretty comfortable around me so she'd walk around in bootie shorts sometimes just some panties. Nothing ever happened.

This weekend me, her, and my buddy went to cali on a little trip. We got really ****ed up the whole time we were there but nothing ever happened with me and her. Oh but I forgot something. I've liked her at this point for like 1.5-2 months now. So the whole trip I was very flirty and sitting next to her and what not. Nothing happened until the ride home...we had picked up another guy to take back to Vegas with us and me and her were on the back but because of all the luggage we were literally covered in it. We were all high and out of nowhere she said hey i want to show you something and she grabbed my hand and shoved it down her pants and started pushing my hand into her cooch and she said, do you feel the rhythm? And I'm thinking wtf does that mean and is this really happening? It turns out that it was really happening but we didn't say anything about it til we got back home.

Now when we were in cali I had picked up 2 pills of X and i know my friend has wanted to try it. I was going to explain that we'd probably hook up if we did it but this is the weird part. I'm not the type of person to give someone drugs to hook up with them. I wanted her to completely understand what was gonna happen and make sure she was ok with it because if she wasn't then I'd find another person.

Well as I was unpacking from my trip I asked her if she was going to bed and she said nope. So I asked her what she wanted to do and she said do you want to take x, watch porn, and ****? My jaw dropped probably cause she was so forward and non chalant about it. I told her I'm not down for the X 'cause it was 3am and i had work today. I told her I was down for the other 2 parts and she said nevermind then. And I said so you'd only **** me if we were on X? And she said right now yeah. I told her that's ****ed up. And i walked into the bathroom to do bathroom stuff. I walk out and she says turn out the lights and put some porn on.

So I do it and she goes...i haven't been eaten out in a long time...so one thing leads to another and next thing i know i'm eating her out. She's loving it and i think she came and was sorta chillin and then she flips out and says i can't believe i'm doing this with you, you're supposed to be my best friend! So i'm like blah whatever. We go to sleep.

The next day I talk to her about it and she said it was just a friendly hook up. She told me she didn't want things to be weird and I said don't worry they won't. So i asked if she still wanted to do the X and she said sure. So my question is WTF!?!?!? I really like this girl and I'm not sure what my next move should be. Sorry that this was long guys...any feedback would be appreciated.

 

[spurnout]

I searched for friends with benefits and didn't find any info really. Or anything pertaining to my situation...if you don't want to read it that's ok but I still think it's interesting reading.

 

[TedJustAdmitIt]

If you edit that post and put in a few paragraphs it'd help.

 

[Finch]

I didn't really read it.. it's a lot of information. However, you asked WTF is friends with benefits? I would consider it a non-exclusive relationship in most cases. If you're talking about just sex and no attachments.. well that's a different thing.

 

[DJStudent]

wow you guys are lazy.

Friends with benefits is basically what it means. You have a friend that has all the beneifts that a relationship would have such as sex without the exclusive part. That means that either you or her or both can have multiple people as friends with benefit.

Awhile back, I thought I had a girlfriend, but we had absolute nothing in common except for sex. So I called her my friend with benefit. Girls don't like being called that but that's what happend.

Don't get in a relationship with this girl, you will never get peace of mind.

 

[spurnout]

ouch...

well...i appreciate SOMEONE finally responding...lol. but anyways, i guess that's what my friend told me...sucks that I like this girl so much...so i guess i have one more question? **** her anyways?

 

[DJStudent]

Sure, but be warned that there could be consequences to your action.

1. You fall for her because you feel a connection.
2. She falls for you because she feels a connection.
3. You get a std

There are some benefits such as getting better at sex. She's obviously loves to fvck so you can learn what makes a girl feels good or what not.

 

[spurnout]

update

yeah she definetely loves to **** because that's what we ended up doing last night. she was with my buddy and i told them i just wanted to kick it home alone but i guess they were going to be in the area of my house so i told them to come over after when i got home. we just chilled and did NOT do the X and eventually my friend (guy) decided to leave around 1230. she said that she was going to stay at my place so i figured, yay, i'm in. well i got super duper drunk and was playing this game and she was lying down in the bed and out of nowhere i felt all powerful. i threw off my headset and said hey, let's ****, and she said ok. so i guess we're just friends at this point but i'm still gonna be somewhat elusive just to see what happens. she's kind of my test/self-esteem boost. i know a lot of you probably think she isn't gf material but eh...we'll see. haha

 

[strong like bull]

i think you would feel a lot better if you stopped analyzing so much about this situation. imo, this girl is just looking for a good time. from what ive read, she seems very flirty and loves to have fun. i doubt she is looking for anything exclusive, unless she is absolutely fascinated by someone. until then, she just wants to have a lot of great, exciting, non-judgemental experiences with one or as many people as it takes.


keep it simple... ask yourself what you want. find out your desires. ask yourself what she can do, if anything, to satisfy your urges. i bet at the least, youd love to grab a fistfull of hair and ram her hard from behind. i bet shes a great ****, too. on top of that, with all of the partying and drug use going on, i bet itd be easy to bed her.

you dont have to date her and take her out to dinner, you dont have to be monogamous with her, you dont have to fall in love with you. but if you want some ass, it seems like shes in reach.

want it? then take it and make it yours. youre in charge here.

make sure you wrap it up though,
-SLB

/edit/
missed your last post. if youre already railing her... please do yourself ONE FAVOR. to avoid making the mistake of millions of men before you, DO NOT ASK TO BE EXCLUSIVE! especially with flirty party girls. take it one day at a time. have the best time of your life and enjoy lots of great sex. but dont get attached. do like Anti-Dump would say, and "protect your heart." dont open up until shes proven herself worthy.

 

[spurnout]

what do you mean by wrap it up? i think at this point i'm content with us just being friends and banging and i will still have my eyes out on other girls. i mean i have a chick supposed to come over on wed and another on thursday. i asked her what she was doing 2night and she said she had plans so i asked with who and she said some guy but i didn't act jealous or anything just asked who he was and she said he was a friend. and then she said she'd see me sometime this week but i sorta told her that i had these girls coming over...i know a mistake...but oh well. she's slept at my house or been with me every night for almost 2 weeks. so we need a break from each other. the thing about her being a good ****...at first she was and then a few minutes later she just sorta laid there so i was like **** this and i told her to flip over so i could do her doggy style, haha! so yeah...what do u mean exactly by wrap it up?

 

[strong like bull]

by wrap it up, i mean make sure you wear a condom. i doubt shes a virgin, and theres a great chance that she is sexually active with people other than you.

im sure you dont want to deal with STDs.

-slb

 

[spurnout]

oh for sure. last night after i said let's **** and she said ok...she hesitated for a second and said, do u have a condom? and a couple seconds earlier i sneakily grabbed one and stuck it in my pocket 'cause i knew what i was about to do...i love liquid courage. i live in las vegas...the amount of kids having kids here and unprotected sex in this town is ridiculous so it's somewhat of a relief that she asked if i had one cause it completely sounded like if i didn't have one she would've said piss off. this is one sick town...

 

[Skullcrusher]

spurnout, a couple rules to live by in this relationship of yours:

1. protect yourself at all times, the heart, your body (condom)

2. be neutral most times, you can be reliable - but only available when you can be.

3. treat her like you would treat a gf without anything more.

4. if she wants a relationship out of this, most of the time it'll be the girl that asks for more exclusivity or it becomes the standard when she wants to go out and do more things with you.

5. pay attention to anything else out there. this girl might drop you quick and usually fwb to me is below a dedicated gf.

 

[spurnout]

i think i've already come to the conclusion that she won't end up being my gf. she's 17 and wants to have fun so I'll have fun with her while i find another chick. too bad me and her get along so well...kinda spooky sometimes.

 

[AmazingTricks]

by the way you said it, you don't want to date her.
there are two kinds of friends wit benefits for guys.
guess which one you are?
that's right slick and IMO you're in the better group...
get as much as you can outta her and move the hell on and most importantly don't do anything friends wouldn't do!! besides the whole ****in around bit...def gotta do that

 

[spurnout]

i think i do want to date her...but from how she acts i don't think that's what she wants and her telling me that us hooking up is "friendly" reinforces that. but we'll see what happens when i see her next week.

 

[JackPrescott]

"Freinds with benefits" This is such a perfect, wonderful concept. There is one woman at the gym I work out in who would fit this rather nicely. She is single. She is a single mommy. She is sexy, and seems interested. We have hung out twice, after the workout, the first time was a bit awkward, the second time, we hit it off pretty "ok" after she loosened up with some brewery beer. There was some light touching, and decent body language. At the end of the night, she invited me into her car to look at some photos, and kind leaned back and told me "I had a nice time tonite" but instead of kissing her, I wished her goodnight. Tonite we meet at the gym again, at 6, and I'm pretty sure she will be up for drinks, following. Sooooo, hopefully, I can flirt my way, and entice her, using good seduction tactics into her bedroom. She doesnt seem to want a man permanently, but she talked to me of "loving sex" and "using her hand to get off lately"...She also mentioned that another guy was trying to get into her panties, and she shooed him off.....We talked of our ****ed up love lives, and had many drinks. I sensed chemistry. Tonight we figure out if she is merely a ****tease, or she wants to get down and dirty. The "Friends with Benefits" thing would work well in our lives, we could fullfill a basic human need, (A release of sexual tension) still continue to date others and pursue career goals, but on those miserable Friday and Saturday nights which prove fruitless at "Da Clubs" we would be a mere phonecall away from pure sexual bliss. Instead of both of us lying( seperatley) in a lonely bed, frantically and pathetically using our hands as replacement for a lover, bring ourselves to a self stimulated orgasm which is about as satisfying as a loud belch, and then cleaning up the mess, and falling asleep holding a pillow.....

A simple phone call, and I'd show up at her place with some lubricant and a good "toy" and perhaps a dirty DVD or 2, and a bottle of Opal Shiraz....we could watch "Story of O" or perhaps the cult classic "Lies" and enjoy a glass of red, and start playing together, until we landed up in the missionary, full penetration, rock and roll, baby, fall asleep naked in each others arms, or she could have me leave after I made her come.....either way, it would be a wonderul night, no strings attached!

 

[spurnout]

that's a good idea...i just can't do that with this girl seeing as how she's 17 and lives with her grandparents...hahahaa...that'd be so odd for us to be hooking up and one of them walks in. she always sleeps over my house and as of 2 days ago i know when she wants some when she tells me to put some porn on. i can't stop thinking about her and she's doing some stuff that's pissing me off but i'm hiding it from her and just being non-chalant when we talk on the phone and next week when i see her i think i'm gonna pretend like nothing happened.

 

[ThunderMaverick]

WOAH! She's 17!? What the FUCK is wrong with you?? You're a grown man and you can't find anyone you're own age? You're 23 dude. Careful. You piss her off and it's off to the big house for you because you've been convicted of stachatory rape. Don't let her grandparents find out, romeo.

*shakes head and leave*

 

[spurnout]

eh, another girl is coming over 2night that's 22, there's too much to explain about why i hang out with this girl. but i don't have to worry about statutory rape 'cause i live in vegas and in nevada age of consent is 16. not that i give a ****. i figure if i like her i like her...me and her get along really well which is why we were/are best friends. i'm gonna try to **** this girl 2night 'cause it'll help me forget about this one til i see her, haha