Friends are ditching me...

[Santos]

*RANT MODE ON*
I realise that my friends all have their own lives that they need to take care of. But this just plain sucks. I have a group of about 10 friends. Two of these guys I would consider as my BEST friends.

The three of us used to go night-clubbing all the time. We all had trouble with meeting women etc. It was just us guys, used to go dance have some drinks, try and hook up. Then talk about our exploits on the way home.

Now they have both hooked up with their girlfriends. One of them USED to be my best friend, but honestly he sees his GF EVERY weekend for the entire weekend. I hardly see him anymore. Maybe once/twice a month. He's so AFC with her.

For example I invite him to a car show one saturday, because he can't see his GF (her parents were being bastids). So he says to me, "err, um..well, I don't really want to go out in case my GF calls me and I can go see her." This is SIX months into their relationship. When I try make plans with him he basically says, "OK, I will go UNLESS my GF wants to see me." When I do see him he's with her. I am basically his back-up, if his GF ditches him then he'll go out with me.

Now the other guy. He's seeing more and more of his GF. He is starting to spend the entire weekend with her, I don't see him. It was my brthday dinner on Friday (my 21st FFS!) and he leaves at 10:00 to take his GF home and doesn't come back.

I understand a GF is an important part of your life, but what about your buddies? What about sticking together?

My REAL birthday was on Saturday, guess what I did? Sat at home with my parents. Great hey? Even though one of my BEST friends said we could go night-clubbing, then he changes his mind - maybe his GF didn't want to . All my friends ditched me to do something else, one of them was decent enough to invite to watch videos. At their house. Not much women there though...

When I do go out with my friends, it's in a big group and we go out to dinner and movies. It's great fun and all, but how the fart am I supposed to meet women like this?

It's so AFC, but the last few saturday nights I've done nothing cos' it's "Girlfriend night", LOL but EVERY NIGHT is GF night. There's a chick I want to meet at a nightclub (met her on IRC), wish me luck trying to get my "friends" to come with me. I don't want to go there by myself and look like a loser...

I went to lunch today with 3 ppl I know vaguely, it was good. But WTF are my best "friends"? Everyone in my group is hooked up, and the two that aren't can't be bothered to try and DO something about it! ARGH!

What do I do? I want to get over oneitis, but I can't go out and take my mind off it. Sigh...

*RANT MODE OFF*


Santos
(In need of a slap in the face)

 

[PANK]

This is almost too wierd i am in exactly the same possition EXACTLY, wow my buddies and i always used to go to town and fail with women apart from me who only tried to talk as i am a savory character, but now all i do is stay at home cuz my friends who arent hooked up just wanna stay in doors. Yesterday was no differant, second best to his 4years gf great. You should do what i do and concentrate your energy into God he will always be with you.

 

[OddTech]

Santos, I have been reading your posts fairly often recently. I have to say that in your cases, your best friends are AFC. They are putting ho's before bro's. That's a no-no. They will end up losing YOU as a friend. As a suggestion, when they come back to you for friendly support (like after their gf ditch them), don't be easy on them. Let them work to earn your friendship back. I'm saying this because every man needs to know the repercussion of their choices.

Btw, it's perfectly fine to have a Bday dinner with your parents. You'll realized that parents are truly those who WILL stick by you through thick-n-thin. I'm serious about this. Someone on this board said that the only parental love can be unconditional.

 

[One on One]

Bros before hoes, always. These guys are chumps. They have the AFC fear that if they don't cater to their GF's every whim, that she will leave him. I can see the future...they'll get dumped, wallow in pity for a while, and then in a few months they'll be doing angry-macking Eminem style. That's the AFC pattern. It will happen and maybe eventually they'll learn the DJ way.

 

[Cremasta]

You ain't seen anything yet... wait till they're married with family commitments. I have friends I am lucky to see once a month. But then I have other friends who do make the effort to get out and socialize.

Find other things to do, other people to hang out with, a sport team is usually pretty good, especially those that involve a few drinks after the game - good way to widen your circle of friends.

 

[Don Rageta]

All of you who have posted so far are AFC's

Bro's Before Ho's does not apply here.
Wake up call Santos, you sound like a fag, a peter puffer, an ass spear. be happy for your friends. Go out and find some girls of your own. you wouldn't be saying all this if you were getting some tang also.
if you are really so starved for male attention, tell your two homies you want to start having a guys only night every couple weeks or so. get drunk and don't be so whiny

 

[Microphone Fiend]

Uh yea, just ignore Don Rageta, he obviously hasn't been in this situation. You said you had 10 friends? Go out with the 8 that aren't occupied. Meet new people and try and expand your social circle. If you are going college you are gonna have 2 meet new people so you might as well start now...

 

[Oxide]

yeah, don, i would like you to stop flaming when you have no idea what is going on.

Friends tied up with girls is a pain, that is why im kinda hppy most of my friends are single
My advice is , go out there and meet new people. Anywhere!

i had my college orientation 4 weeks ago, and i knew i needed to get to know as many people as possible. so what did i do? as soon as i entered first lecture i got to know the guy next to me... then hour later came up to two guys talking and got together with them at dinner. at the end of the night we had 6 people in a company bowling together, and 6 chicks walked over to us and started playing with us.

Just go for it, meet a new person, get to know him and make friends.

 

[es_mer8]

Bros should always come before hoes. Its just that simple. Look, ***** comes and goes but if you got good friends, they can be friends with you for life. Sounds to me that your friends are just being AFCs with girls. The girls may like it and they may be together constantly. You never know what they're doing together.

The thing is, just find other friends. These guys are still your friends but they have other priorities now. You should too. Just try to live your life and just have fun. Sometimes people just drift away from others. These two may be one of them.

 

[seloifter]

lol, sounds alot like that movie Whipped (I think that's what it's called...... teh one with Amanda Peet and JAck Black)

well, your situation clearly sucks..... and so do your friends......
you need to talk to them and explain to them that they can see their gf's as many god damn times as they want, but not to ditch you for them. Because they won't lose their girlfriends for only seeing them six times a week, but they WILL lose you as a friend if they never see you at all.

then, you need to go out and find a new circle of friends. don't be so dependant on the one you currently have, because that's clearly not workin out for ya right now.......

 

[fan27]

This sounds like a great opportunity to expand your circle of friends and perhaps improve your social skills in the process. AFC sees problem. DJ sees opportunity.

 

[Capt.Jack Sparrow]

. sorry ignore this post, wrong thread

 

[Big Pappy]

I've got a couple of friends that are the same way. First, you have to remember not to take it personally.

Here are some tips to avoid this in the future.
When you meet the gf, don't "assume" the DJ style. Kiss her booty a little bit.

Don't complain to your guys about how whipped they are. The more negative you are, the less they're going to want to hang with you.

One of my buddies used to just lock himself away with his girlfriend. None of us ever saw him. They broke up. We saw him all the time.
Now, he's dating her again. But, this time, I got her email address and have included her in most of our gatherings. They don't make all of them, but they do make some of them.

The other guy, he brings his girl to almost everything. Just wish he'd leave her home a few times.

 

[sandinista]

you know. i hate to change the subject, as i do have a lot of respect for Santos & regard him as one of the best posters on here, BUT..

My friends have kinda ditched me! for no reson as i can see. they don't have GF's or anything. I've come back from uni for the christmas holidays & of course i want to catch up with everyone..

BUT they seem to have other ideas. I met a friend about a week ago & he was very frosty towards me, & he mentioned that there was a big new years eve bash at someones house. he said he'd ask if i could come.. & never got back in touch. in fact i haven't heard from him since.

I've texted other friends asking what they were doin' on new years eve.. nothing. I texted happy new year messages to most people after i missed the bash.. not one single reply.

I'm a bit anoyed to their behaviour towards me as i haven't done anything. I haven't seen any of them since september & i genuinly want to know what they've been up to & hang out etc.

These are people i've been friends with since i was 12!! i can't think of any justifiable reason why they could act so s****y towards a friend.

sorry about my rant..

 

[On_the_Top]

Iam like the escpaed slave, Isssssss bring news of freedom.The women folk say " Oh keep the men in the daaaaaaark, they is a happier that way." My friends' girls don't like their men (thats right, they are in charge of them) to play with me much..

Anyway, man you not gonna have your boys with you all the time, even under normal circumstances, so go out, do like I do and be a lone wolf, and just start talking to people in public. Also you don't have to hang everyweek end, hetch allot times I myself, just like chilling at home or go out alone and just find new people or go people watching.

 

[niggah]

what a pack of ***** whipped afc's

 

[BMW]

1. nothing wrong with spending your b-day with your parents. You wouldn't have a b-day without them to begin with.

2. Older you get, more friends you lose.

 

[Julian]

Dude who cares, ive said it before and ill say it again friends are overrated.

When it comes down to it you cant count on anyone but yourself.

That is the sad truth of the matter. How well you think you know someone and how close you think you are to them is irrelevant because if the oppurtinity arises they will put a knife in your back.

Your better off without em.

 

[California Love]

I agree with Don Rageta.


His point is really important. At your age, your friends are moving on in their lives. In this stage, women, LTR's, and marriage has a greater importance than hanging out with friends. Its simply a process in growing up.

 

[extravaganza]

I agree with Julian. Eventhough it's looks like a negative view on the aspect of friends it really doesn't have to be.

As long as you realize that most friends are temporary you don't need to worry about losig a few. You'll meet new ones, BUT only when you go out and do the effort.

Oh and santos... Go out by yourself. Don't depend on your friends to live your own life.