Friends are ditching me...

[THA REALNESS]

There is no such thing as freinds ,just people that you know.

Right know you being some what selfish cuz they are doing what makes them happy ,obviously you just wanna hang out you really don't care with whom i'm assuming,so just make new "freinds " and just hang out.

 

[bishopdonjuan]

Yeah man, I'm having this same problem....its just the age thing. The older my crew gets the more they start worrying about their futures and scrambling to get a wife. One of them is already married, another engaged, and 2 others locked down hard...luckily there are still about 3 of us remaining. It's the same deal though, they are so AFC with their girls, and they dont realize it. One of my friends from now on whenever we are in our normal meeting spot he asks to use the phone, and the whole time we are supposed to be chilling, he's on the phone. Literally everytime he comes over he makes the house phone die from talking on it for 4-5 hours straight, and then asking to use one of our cell phones....like WTF!!!

But when stuff like that happens, its even more important that you get out more, so that you can find replacement friends. Thats about the only advice I can give you. Your boys will probably come around sooner or later because an AFC relationship will either end, or become a horrible marraige....time can only tell.

 

[Zoso]

you know. i hate to change the subject, as i do have a lot of respect for Santos & regard him as one of the best posters on here, BUT..

My friends have kinda ditched me! for no reson as i can see. they don't have GF's or anything. I've come back from uni for the christmas holidays & of course i want to catch up with everyone..

BUT they seem to have other ideas. I met a friend about a week ago & he was very frosty towards me, & he mentioned that there was a big new years eve bash at someones house. he said he'd ask if i could come.. & never got back in touch. in fact i haven't heard from him since.

I've texted other friends asking what they were doin' on new years eve.. nothing. I texted happy new year messages to most people after i missed the bash.. not one single reply.

I'm a bit anoyed to their behaviour towards me as i haven't done anything. I haven't seen any of them since september & i genuinly want to know what they've been up to & hang out etc.

These are people i've been friends with since i was 12!! i can't think of any justifiable reason why they could act so s****y towards a friend.

sorry about my rant..

Maybe since you've been out of there lives for awhile, they have moved on and gotten used to their lives without you. "Out of sight, out of mind." When you return, it throws them off. I'm kind of on the other end of a similar situation... One of my oldest friends is back from college and always wants to hang out, but recently I've found him very annoying and none of my other friends want to hang out with him. I'm looking forward to when he goes back to college, but at the same time I feel bad for trying to avoid him when I'm hanging out with my other friends.

 

[elvis aint dead yet]

Most of your friends over the years will be friends at a particular moment. More like people you met and knew at one point in your life.

But if you've known a couple of friends for years and consider them good friends, then why throw them away cause they aren't hanging with you all the time.

Just because you don't hang out with them or talk to them all the time does not mean you aren't friends anymore.

I only hang out with my close friends maybe once every other month, if that., it's a group of about 6 of us who has known one another for probably 15-20 years now.

As people get older times change. Some guys spend every waking moment with their girlfriends.
Other guys spend every waking moment at work.
Other guys spend every waking moment partying until 5am.
Other guys move away for jobs, school, careers, or girls.

That's just the way it is.

I once had a friend who got pissed at me because I couldn't hang out with him every night. We used to go out to clubs every night but one day I got an offer for a good job to start my career.

I did hang out for a few weeks, but I just couldn't do it anymore.

As you get older, working from 8-6pm then going out till 5am, well it becomes harder and harder to do. Especially when it's a real job that is important to you.

So we stopped hanging out. At first we'd hang out on weekends, but after some time, he got pissed cause i wasn't a "REAL FRIEND" and all that mumbo jumbo.

But for you, you want to hang with your boys like the old days. You want to go out, hook up with some chics, and then leave your boys hanging.

Yeah, great friend you are. So when you hook up with some chic at the club, are you going to bring your boys along?

I don't think so.

So why are you mad if they are getting some. Maybe they are AFCs and maybe you should joke with them that they are WHIPPED. But as we all know, most guys don't listen.

Seems to me you are that guy who is going to be stuck. There are many guys like this. Many men who in their 30's, still think they are 18. Still wish for the good old days. Great to remember the past, but if you are stuck in it, nobody is going to want to hang with you.

It's like my old pissed off friend who few of us hang out with anymore.

He's still that guy going out till 5am every night. That's great for him, but he's also the same guy who when we do see him, it's always about "REMEMBER THAT NIGHT," and blah blah. Same story over and over again. Gets boring.

It's also like my one cousin. He's older then me, by about ten years. He used to always disappear back in the day and one day he just plain out left and that was that. Never saw him for like 15 years.

One day at my nephew's graduation, he mysteriously showed up to the party. I was in shock. He was near 40 years old and it was good to see family again. Good to see him.

But as the night went on, it was like he treated me and my brother like we were still 14 years old. That was about the last time he saw us.

He hadn't changed at all. Still drinking, still starting trouble, and still acting like a baby. The problem was, me and my brother weren't 14 years old anymore. Times change.

And people change. That's a good thing. But some people refuse to grow up. While in a way it's good, in another way, it's very bad.

While you are still young, what 21, you have to remember, the older you get, the less time you will spend with people you always spent time with. that's just life. Learn to spend time with yourself. Learn to do things alone. Your friends and your mommy and daddy won't always be by your side.