Friend (Girl) Flaked - Any Next Steps?

[##17]

So, I thought I'd update this old thread of mine.

RECAP: A female friend flaked on plans that we had. I cut off contact with her.

UPDATE: She tried to contact me a few times this year since the flaking incident. (I have never been the one to contact her.) I've been polite when she reached out, but generally have just blown her off after saying hi since the flaking really annoyed me.

TODAY: She reaches out to me again via IM, and the first line is "how are you, we need to get together soon." And follows with "let's start up our friendship again." She then goes on to apologize for not being in touch. I told her no big deal, I wasn't really worried about it. She then offered a specific date to get together. I told her I wasn't sure since flaking is a deal breaker for me, and she plays dumb about the flaking incident until I remind her.

She pushed the issue and wants to get together (as friends, since she has a bf and I have a woman in my life). Feels like I'm setting myself up to be pissed off again, so I haven't committed to anything with her - just told her "we'll see".

Thoughts?

Such drama. Guys today are acting more and more like girls.

I would've just asked her what happened over Christmas. Then I would've made her treated for flaking.

 

[Jitterbug]

I've had some female friends like this. Young (teenage & early 20s) and old (40s~50s) (proof that they never change). I just ignore them. When they get in touch again and go "OMG Jitterbug we gotta catch up soon!", I'd match such enthusiasm with something similar "Yeah I'd love to catch up! Organize something, and let me know when & where." Sure enough, they never get around to do anything about it, and I continue to spend my time on more productive things than dealing with their flakey arses.

 

[Latinoman]

Such drama. Guys today are acting more and more like girls.

I would've just asked her what happened over Christmas. Then I would've made her treated for flaking.

Totally agree.

 

[Nelford]

I have a friend, a girl, who recently flaked on me. We had plans to do something over the holidays - the day came and went, I gave her a call that day and texted the next, and never heard from her.

The backstory: we've been friends for about 3 years. We started as friends, went through a very brief period where we hooked up, and then went back to being friends. I have a gf and she just got a new bf. Also, we don't run in the same circles so it's unlikely that I'll see her out anywhere.

I know she's not dead through other sources. Seems a shame to lose someone I was close to most likely because she has a new bf now, but that may just be the way it is. Is there any recourse left here, or do I just chalk up my loses?

Dude I have plenty of female friends some I sample some I didn't and they are always around when they are single, but as soon as they find a new boyfriend which is frequently they disappear. Funny thing is these are some pretty girls and they are aways in and out of relationship. They last no more then a year top.

I wouldn't worry about it too much, she will call. Just focus on yourself and get out there and meet new women.

 

[My Name is Nobody]

Yeah I think the worse thing you can do when they give you the cold shoulder is chase them. Just ignore them and they should come back if they give a rats ass about you..this b!tch slept in my bed 2 weeks ago and has been giving me the cold shoulder ever since except for one text message last week. LOL, she's trying to be a player or something.

She has been deleted from my thoughts and my phone and it's about to backfire on her, because I have other dates lined up.

Don't be another AFC and chase her it could be a huge sh!t test.

 

[Nelford]

I have long argued that women are easily "pulled" in one direction or another by their emotional investment in a person or her fear of loss of affection from others.

They do not seem to give the same weight ,as men do, to promises that they make . Women appear to regard any plans that they make with a guy as only "pencilled in" and not scribed in stone. If a BBd comes along or they are distracted by some emotion that someone else elicits then a women will likely flake or cancel a date with no hesitation.

Unstable ? Yes ! Flighty ? Yes ! Emotionally flimsy ? Yes !
Unreliable ? Yes ? Unpredictable ? Yes!

However they do not appear to demonstrate these characteristics as frequently in their job or career or in their relationships with their girlfriends . Why ?

And that, gentlemen, is how they are..

I want to know why also

 

[Nelford]

Very good question. Flaking is the result of low IL.

There are several reasons for flaking.

1) Your initial GAME is good enough to open the door but not enough IL was generated.

2) Not enough rapport. Men can't understand this because we don't need rapport to BANG.

3)Time. This happens to me now too. Here is an example.

I meet a HOT girl. I get her number, call her up and make plans. I genuinely like this girl at the moment. Today is Tuesday, we have plans on Saturday. In between that time, I have other plates I see. In addition, I meet a few new plates. Saturday rolls around and I haven't spoken to her since. I don't even bother calling or responding to her text. Why? So much has happened since then, she is a barely a thought in my mind now. My IL has DROPPED. As well, I made other plans with the plate I saw the night before.

I think #3 applies to most flakes, especially the hotter ones because they are natural plate spinners.

You got it my man. It all about options and tolerence. If you have more options you have less tolerance. The less options the more tolerence for that flaking.

 

[My Name is Nobody]

I want to know why also

Because they can't dominate us physically so they do it mentally.

 

[Jitterbug]

I want to know why also

Because they think they can always find a BBD just around the corner (after decades of having AFCs groveling at their feet). They'd keep believing this fairy tale until it's too late.

 

[Nelford]

Because they can't dominate us physically so they do it mentally.

Well I am glad I have a lot of female friends which to me they are my sisters. I knew them since grade school and I am 31 now. I watch all the mind games they play with the dudes they are dating and its bad. These dudes have no idea. They never say what they want just want the dude to figure it out. Funny thing is they want a lot. I feel for these dudes. I learn a lot from my litte homegirls and the main thing is to not be a simp (AFC). I nip that mind game stuff in the bud right away. I let them know I am looking for a muture woman. Keep it up and they will get served their walking papers.