Framed by Ex

[Cabal]

I'm going to keep this short and resist using the forum to vent, and get straight to the matter and the question.

I dated a girl for three years. She cheated on me. She got caught. Both her and her bit of the side became a couple. Should be end of.

Turns out to make themselves look better, they made out that she left me for him because I used to beat her. Her family live in a different country so it was an easier line for them to swallow than if they'd been in our relationships backyard. That's hurtful but malign. However in the town in which I live it spread like psychosis as plague.

Girls started cancelling dates. People defriended me in bars and online. I got into a few fights for being a woman beater but put it down to mistaken identity or people gone loco on coco (coke). Then it found its way into my work place and jeopardised my job and the lid was blown right off the thing. It ended with me suing the company and several staff and getting people sacked. I let my ex and her promoted bit on the side walk, I dropped the suit against them, because I found out they were having a baby.

Maybe I should have followed through and crucified the cancerous couple, but if something had happened during the pregnancy I would have been blamed, maybe actually been to blame, stress can literally be a killer. Then I would be the villain of this story.

Problem is, in the town in which I live, I am the villain. The woman beater tar has stuck, and been that way for some time now. Women are afraid of me. Men disrespect me. I've become "that guy in the corner" and am feeling, frankly, slayed.

What is the Don Juan thing to do? How does one get out of such a dark corner, and deal with the ultimate ****block scenario?

 

[ArcBound]

Yes you should have followed through and sued for defamation or whatever its called. She ruined your love life, social life and job, no sh!t you should have sued the sh!t out of everything she had.

For someone who got fvcked over so bad you are being awfully nice about things. People sue over less.

 

[Jariel]

You were foolish to drop your lawsuit against them. If they have affected your life in such a negative way, you deserve to be compensated for that and even more importantly, you need to have your name cleared.

I think you should seek legal action, but offer to drop the case if she offers some kind of public apology where she admits she lied about you and makes an effort to clear your name.

You're definitely being too nice about this to someone who betrayed your trust, cheated on you and then kicked you while you were down. She is the scum of the earth! Remember that!

 

[Iceberg]

Yes you should have followed through and sued for defamation or whatever its called. She ruined your love life, social life and job, no sh!t you should have sued the sh!t out of everything she had.

For someone who got fvcked over so bad you are being awfully nice about things. People sue over less.

Agreed.

Women being crazy, dramatic liars is part of the game. Once it gets to the point of affecting how I pay my bills, it's time to lawyer up.

Not suing her because of the pregnancy was the nice thing to do, but f**k nice. She lied. And worst of all, she didn't have to. Her story could have been "It just didn't work out."

I guess at this point there's nothing you can do but move forward. People have survived worse moments than this. You'll be one of them.

 

[Kenny Powers]

Wait until she's had the child than sue her freaking pants off!!!!!!! You're 100% right the child could be harmed if this was done when she was pregnant so definitely wait until after. Its not fair to harm an innocent child because of this, but this girl needs to f-ing pay.

She literally ruined your life just so she wouldn't look bad. SUE THE BIITCH!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[MagickMan]

Oh my God, very dissuasive, ****ing woman. Sue her, and let it be known that women like her exist.

 

[zekko]

Girls started cancelling dates. People defriended me in bars and online. I got into a few fights for being a woman beater but put it down to mistaken identity or people gone loco on coco (coke). Then it found its way into my work place and jeopardised my job and the lid was blown right off the thing. ..

<snip>

Problem is, in the town in which I live, I am the villain. The woman beater tar has stuck, and been that way for some time now. Women are afraid of me. Men disrespect me. I've become "that guy in the corner" and am feeling, frankly, slayed.

For any of you guys that think women actually like to be beaten*, take a look at how this poor guy has been ostracized and had his dating chances screwed (See the Rihanna/Chris Brown thread on the Mature Men forum).

*not talking about rough sex here.

 

[TonyBaloney]

Man, I really do feel for you. What a complete *****. My ex BPD has been saying **** about me, and I'm getting all kinds of snide remarks, which mean something and nothing....its a horrid situation, and is so completely train wrecking...... but you gotta ride the storm. I truly believe that situations like this really make the man, and you have to cultivate an absolute strategy of mental power - perhaps by concentrating in non bar situations and changing elements in your life, good karma will come your way. Health is an important issue you gotta look at, mental and physical, and the realisation that time is a great healer, and truth comes to light, with time...... All the best, and stay strong........

 

[vatoloco]

Law 15

Crush your Enemy Totally

All great leaders since Moses have known that a feared enemy must be crushed completely. (Sometimes they have learned this the hard way.) If one ember is left alight, no matter how dimly it smolders, a fire will eventually break out. More is lost through stopping halfway than through total annihilation: The enemy will recover, and will seek revenge. Crush him, not only in body but in spirit.

Lesson to people out there. Don't be "nice" to your enemies. They will take advantage of it and crush you instead.

 

[Gray The Prince]

Can your job transfer to another city? You need a fresh start.

 

[DanelMadr]

You can :

1. Ask for public apology...appeal for their reason or make "threat" of renewed lawsuit

2. Write your story to local newspapers...not naming names, just yours - better chance for publication. Contact the journalist first.

3. Ask your priest for help. Make public announcement during Sunday prayers. Explain your situation. Do not name names. Just clear yourself. Tell them how it damaged your life.

4. Buy a Tshirt with 'What you heard about me is a lie.'

5. Make a lawsuit. But you will need witnesses of her publicly lying about you.

6. Move out of town. When you have no friends to back you up anyway.

7. Make posters of 'Mrs. X.Y. is a liar.' and post it on every corner.

 

[Robert28]

For any of you guys that think women actually like to be beaten*, take a look at how this poor guy has been ostracized and had his dating chances screwed (See the Rihanna/Chris Brown thread on the Mature Men forum).

*not talking about rough sex here.

they may not like it but some of them sure do stay with that type of guy for a long time. fearing for their life is the typical excuse they use. i'm of the position that if I fear for my life, I stop that that's causing me such fear. an alcoholic can claim he's not an alcoholic but it's hard the believe him when he's holding a drink in his hand while telling you he's not an alcoholic.

 

[zekko]

they may not like it but some of them sure do stay with that type of guy for a long time. fearing for their life is the typical excuse they use. i'm of the position that if I fear for my life, I stop that that's causing me such fear. an alcoholic can claim he's not an alcoholic but it's hard the believe him when he's holding a drink in his hand while telling you he's not an alcoholic.

There's no question many women stay with this kind of guy for a long time. But I don't believe they are staying for the abuse, they're staying in spite of it. I know of women who stayed many years with guys who have molested their children too. But I don't think it's the child molesting that's causing the attraction.

Women stay with guys like this for various reasons. I think commonly what they really fear is having to make it on their own financially. And the ones who stay are probably weak personalities with low self esteem, who don't like confrontation and have trouble standing up for themselves.

 

[TonyBaloney]

@Danel


4. Buy a Tshirt with 'What you heard about me is a lie.'
HA HA..... I really sympathise with this mans situation cos i'm in a similar one myself, but no 4 as described above made me laugh I think a bit of humour sometimes helps as well.......

 

[Cabal]

I'm going to do the t-shirt and post a picture of me wearing it.

 

[Firefly]

Going through a similar situation at the moment myself.

My advice would be just to be strong, and remember that the people turning your backs on you weren't your friends in the first place.

I found out that in situations like this, you quickly work out who you can really rely on. You might also want to point out to people that if there was any truth to those charges, the police would have been involved.

 

[betheman]

Going through a similar situation at the moment myself.

My advice would be just to be strong, and remember that the people turning your backs on you weren't your friends in the first place.

I found out that in situations like this, you quickly work out who you can really rely on. You might also want to point out to people that if there was any truth to those charges, the police would have been involved.

there are few people you can generally rely on in situations like these.
you need to stay strong and hold your head high, as the quote states, getting the cops involved, encouraging others to go dow that line is what Id be doing.
in an age when women will call the cops out of spite, why didnt she involve them? that will at least make people think, dont cower, dont act apologetic in any way, keep your opinion firm, and if anyone slanders you in publc or with witnesses, sue them