sageproduct
Banned
G0d I fwcking hate night game. I hate the noise, the utter sh1ttines of the meaningless conversations you have, the huge amounts of money people waste, and smelling like cheap perfume as I walk home (alone).
How my night started
Throughout the day, TONS of people start bailing on me, telling me they can't make it to my NYE party. Some of my friends are hanging out at this chick's house in the suburbs, I'm tempted to go, but when I hear about who's going, it bores me and I say fwck that it's new year's fwckin eve and i have to go out and sarge.
I leave the comfort of my parents' home, leave the comfort of my friends, take the train back out to the city. Hit on several girls at the train station. First chick real cool but has bf. Next few not so cool. Hop on bus, there's a cute girl sitting by herself in the back listening to music. NO hesitation I sit right next to her even though the whole section is empty and make it obvious I want to talk to her. She takes off her headphones in response.
I tell her she's adorable, had to meet her. Blah blah I am super chatty/bantering, start putting my arm around her and sh1t already, the approach is going well for all I know. It's only after like two mintues (I knew her stop was soon) that I tell her "Look, you seem like a cool person, and I actually want to talk to you again after you get off this bus."
She tells me she doesn't have a phone right now, gives me her full name to find her on Facebook (note: i can't fwcking find her on it).
Part II
I'm all pumped up and sh1t. IT'S FWCKING NEW YEARS EVE MAN I'm yelling to myself over and over like a crazy man. My plan is to go see some fireworks at Navy Pier and hopefully find a chick who wants to make out at midnight. I keep rushing myself, telling myself I NEED to get there well before 12 so I can have some time to work up to it.
Get there through a combination of bus and good amount of walking, at around 11. I AM SORELY DISAPPOINTED. Everyone there is UGLY, NOT MY AGE, ASIAN, OR MALE. After 15 minutes of wandering around I finally realize I made the sh1ttiest decision on where to find drunk sluts. I'm pissed at myself for wasting time on this golden opportunity of a night but carry on, leaving and trying to find somewhere else.
I don't have ANY knowledge of good places in the area. I keep checking Google Maps on my phone but don't find sh1t. I wander around aimlessly. Each place I come to is either closed, doesn't exist anymore, or looks like sh1t. I get more and more flustered. I start feeling lonely as I start thinking about how everyone ditched me tonight. It's fwcking cold as hell and my feet start hurting from walking around and my nose is running. I start getting into a negative mental loop. As 11:59 ticked into 12:00, I was on some random, empty street block, all alone, trying to figure out where the fwck I was. The cold, dry air was irritating my eyes and they were watering. I had trouble keeping them open. I started feeling sorry for myself and literally felt like crying at how sh1tty of a night I was having.
Fwck no motherfwcker, I tell myself, you are not fwcking feeling sorry for yourself.
Ok now the actual field report.
Finally walk by this bar that seems lively. Walk in, cover is $20. I don't even care and pay, then head in. Apparently it's a latin club. There's a dance floor and bar area, and there are a decent amount of sexy chicks in tight dresses dancing away.
I beeline for the bathroom to blow my runny nose, passing up some hot chicks along the way. Come back and tell myself, dude you need to fwcking get your head together.
Spot this cute blonde girl standing by herself on her phone. I walk toward her. Can't think of a fwcking opener so I just give her a big hug. To my surprise, she reacts favorably and hugs me back.
Me: You look fwcking awesome!
Her: Hahaha thank you!
Me: Happy New Year!!
Forgot what we say next but it's obvious I'm hitting on her. She tells me I HAVE to meet her friend who has an Asian fetish. Tells me to wait RIGHT HERE in this fwcking empty corner where no one is lol.
I'm like ok, so I turn around and chat this 30 year old mexican couple for a few minutes. They're boring, I strain the conversation because I don't want to lose the girl but don't want to stand waiting by myself like a chump, then I dip. Start wandering around.
My awkwardness in the night environment starts coming through. Totally out of my element, I don't approach anyone for a few minutes. Then I spot the blonde I was talking to earlier, go and jokingly tell her I missed her so much. She's got her friend with her and introduces us.
Let's just say that the way this girl's body looked, she is NOT someone I would parade around town in front of everyone I know with. But, her face actually wasn't bad at all. We hadn't spoken two sentences to each other when she goes "Hey let's go dance!"
I oblige, which I probably shouldn't have before qualifying her a bit. We start dancing, don't even say a word for a few mins. I'm like fwck this man, I gotta get something going so I start talking a bit. I try to get her to sit down w/me for a couple mins and have a chat but she doesn't want to.
Me: I want to talk to you for a couple minutes and get to know you
Her: It's New Year's Eve, you don't need to get to know me!
But here's the problem w/not qualifying a girl. Her friends run by, chat her for a bit, I compliment one of their necklaces. Then I tell this girl "You have cool friends." Then fwck up w/a poorly done statement of interest: "You seem cool too." She immediately calls me out: "How do you know? You haven't even talked to me!" Then later tells me "You're full of sh1t."
So we're on the dance floor fwckin around, it's obvious I have no idea what I'm doing but I'm doing my best to lead. Spin her around, move her arms around, touch her all over, put her hands on different spots on my body, etc. Most of what I do she likes but some of it fails HORRIBLY.
I have her grind me back to front, spin her around front to front, keep changing sh1t up and doing different things. She runs her hands over my body as well. Then eventually I make out with her, she pulls away shortly.
(btw this is only the second time in my life that I've made out w/a girl the night of meeting her. And the first time doesn't count because I was drunk as fwck)
I keep cycling through different things but I'm quickly running out of moves lol. I don't kiss her a LOT, but I do do it several times even though I know you shouldn't because it ruins the buildup of sexual tension that helps you pull. I try to make myself stop kissing her, but I can't help it.
She keeps looking away as I stare at her face. I move in and say, "You really suck at keeping eye contact." She steps up to the plate and stares me down a few times. It's pretty fwcking hot actually.
I start teasing her by pretending like I'm going for the kiss, then pulling away/kissing her neck instead. I actually start doing this a LOT, and real slowly, where I put my lips REALLY close to hers and keep them there FOREVER before I actually kiss her, and make out with her HARD. She's usually the first to pull away though. Eventually she starts initiating kissing w/me, kissing my cheek, and my ear. holy balls that gave me chills, no girl has ever done that to me before.
She asks me if I'm here with friends, I tell her my friends were being lame and wanted to hang out in the suburbs. She tells me she's from out of town and going home tomorrow.
How my night started
Throughout the day, TONS of people start bailing on me, telling me they can't make it to my NYE party. Some of my friends are hanging out at this chick's house in the suburbs, I'm tempted to go, but when I hear about who's going, it bores me and I say fwck that it's new year's fwckin eve and i have to go out and sarge.
I leave the comfort of my parents' home, leave the comfort of my friends, take the train back out to the city. Hit on several girls at the train station. First chick real cool but has bf. Next few not so cool. Hop on bus, there's a cute girl sitting by herself in the back listening to music. NO hesitation I sit right next to her even though the whole section is empty and make it obvious I want to talk to her. She takes off her headphones in response.
I tell her she's adorable, had to meet her. Blah blah I am super chatty/bantering, start putting my arm around her and sh1t already, the approach is going well for all I know. It's only after like two mintues (I knew her stop was soon) that I tell her "Look, you seem like a cool person, and I actually want to talk to you again after you get off this bus."
She tells me she doesn't have a phone right now, gives me her full name to find her on Facebook (note: i can't fwcking find her on it).
Part II
I'm all pumped up and sh1t. IT'S FWCKING NEW YEARS EVE MAN I'm yelling to myself over and over like a crazy man. My plan is to go see some fireworks at Navy Pier and hopefully find a chick who wants to make out at midnight. I keep rushing myself, telling myself I NEED to get there well before 12 so I can have some time to work up to it.
Get there through a combination of bus and good amount of walking, at around 11. I AM SORELY DISAPPOINTED. Everyone there is UGLY, NOT MY AGE, ASIAN, OR MALE. After 15 minutes of wandering around I finally realize I made the sh1ttiest decision on where to find drunk sluts. I'm pissed at myself for wasting time on this golden opportunity of a night but carry on, leaving and trying to find somewhere else.
I don't have ANY knowledge of good places in the area. I keep checking Google Maps on my phone but don't find sh1t. I wander around aimlessly. Each place I come to is either closed, doesn't exist anymore, or looks like sh1t. I get more and more flustered. I start feeling lonely as I start thinking about how everyone ditched me tonight. It's fwcking cold as hell and my feet start hurting from walking around and my nose is running. I start getting into a negative mental loop. As 11:59 ticked into 12:00, I was on some random, empty street block, all alone, trying to figure out where the fwck I was. The cold, dry air was irritating my eyes and they were watering. I had trouble keeping them open. I started feeling sorry for myself and literally felt like crying at how sh1tty of a night I was having.
Fwck no motherfwcker, I tell myself, you are not fwcking feeling sorry for yourself.
Ok now the actual field report.
Finally walk by this bar that seems lively. Walk in, cover is $20. I don't even care and pay, then head in. Apparently it's a latin club. There's a dance floor and bar area, and there are a decent amount of sexy chicks in tight dresses dancing away.
I beeline for the bathroom to blow my runny nose, passing up some hot chicks along the way. Come back and tell myself, dude you need to fwcking get your head together.
Spot this cute blonde girl standing by herself on her phone. I walk toward her. Can't think of a fwcking opener so I just give her a big hug. To my surprise, she reacts favorably and hugs me back.
Me: You look fwcking awesome!
Her: Hahaha thank you!
Me: Happy New Year!!
Forgot what we say next but it's obvious I'm hitting on her. She tells me I HAVE to meet her friend who has an Asian fetish. Tells me to wait RIGHT HERE in this fwcking empty corner where no one is lol.
I'm like ok, so I turn around and chat this 30 year old mexican couple for a few minutes. They're boring, I strain the conversation because I don't want to lose the girl but don't want to stand waiting by myself like a chump, then I dip. Start wandering around.
My awkwardness in the night environment starts coming through. Totally out of my element, I don't approach anyone for a few minutes. Then I spot the blonde I was talking to earlier, go and jokingly tell her I missed her so much. She's got her friend with her and introduces us.
Let's just say that the way this girl's body looked, she is NOT someone I would parade around town in front of everyone I know with. But, her face actually wasn't bad at all. We hadn't spoken two sentences to each other when she goes "Hey let's go dance!"
I oblige, which I probably shouldn't have before qualifying her a bit. We start dancing, don't even say a word for a few mins. I'm like fwck this man, I gotta get something going so I start talking a bit. I try to get her to sit down w/me for a couple mins and have a chat but she doesn't want to.
Me: I want to talk to you for a couple minutes and get to know you
Her: It's New Year's Eve, you don't need to get to know me!
But here's the problem w/not qualifying a girl. Her friends run by, chat her for a bit, I compliment one of their necklaces. Then I tell this girl "You have cool friends." Then fwck up w/a poorly done statement of interest: "You seem cool too." She immediately calls me out: "How do you know? You haven't even talked to me!" Then later tells me "You're full of sh1t."
So we're on the dance floor fwckin around, it's obvious I have no idea what I'm doing but I'm doing my best to lead. Spin her around, move her arms around, touch her all over, put her hands on different spots on my body, etc. Most of what I do she likes but some of it fails HORRIBLY.
I have her grind me back to front, spin her around front to front, keep changing sh1t up and doing different things. She runs her hands over my body as well. Then eventually I make out with her, she pulls away shortly.
(btw this is only the second time in my life that I've made out w/a girl the night of meeting her. And the first time doesn't count because I was drunk as fwck)
I keep cycling through different things but I'm quickly running out of moves lol. I don't kiss her a LOT, but I do do it several times even though I know you shouldn't because it ruins the buildup of sexual tension that helps you pull. I try to make myself stop kissing her, but I can't help it.
She keeps looking away as I stare at her face. I move in and say, "You really suck at keeping eye contact." She steps up to the plate and stares me down a few times. It's pretty fwcking hot actually.
I start teasing her by pretending like I'm going for the kiss, then pulling away/kissing her neck instead. I actually start doing this a LOT, and real slowly, where I put my lips REALLY close to hers and keep them there FOREVER before I actually kiss her, and make out with her HARD. She's usually the first to pull away though. Eventually she starts initiating kissing w/me, kissing my cheek, and my ear. holy balls that gave me chills, no girl has ever done that to me before.
She asks me if I'm here with friends, I tell her my friends were being lame and wanted to hang out in the suburbs. She tells me she's from out of town and going home tomorrow.
