FR: SamePendo meets all women at his gym in a week.

[Charm]

Sam,

Go back and read This Post

 

[Cod3r]

I've never thought about approaching at the gym, I've never noticed any HB's at the gym I frequent. Anything that even remotely looks approachable is on a treadmill or some other running device and has ipods full on...

They run on those things for hours... I work out for 45 - 1 1/2 hours and when I'm ready to go they are still running. I'm not comfortable in the gym, so its out for me but good advice here... makes good sense


-Cod3r

 

[Charm]

Im surprised youve never even thought about approaching.

 

[Cod3r]

^ ^ I guess for one, approaching isn't on my mind alot since i'm LTR'd

But again, I haven't noticeed anything remotely attractive in the gym i've frequented. I'll take an extra look tommorow morning when I go and see if its what you guys say...


-Cod3r

 

[Charm]

How long have you been LTRd? 9 months i think i saw you say in another thread?

 

[DonDan]

hey Samependo, could u post a picture of yourself?? I'm not asking you so i can bash u in any way, im just wondering what you look like and just if you must be really buff for these tactics to work or not....

 

[drift king]

Same Pendo

do you have any tips if the attempted number close fails and the chick goes and runs off hiding away from you?

i've discovered that if you try to number close on the first meeting it has a high backfire effect because they generally don't seem to think they'll be picked up somewhere so public.

I unfortunately experienced this where I carried on talking for too long.. we already prearranged to meet up same time the week after but I made mistake of not letting the conversation end early and got interuppted with a 'im really sorry but i got to move on to my next exercise now..' i tried my luck later to get the digits but this compounded the problem and basically scared her away.

now we glance at each other if we pass by but no acknowledgement of knowing each other.. even though we do.

im thinking of just LJBF-ing her if i pass her again and just say we got off to a bad start and walk away so at least i've done the mature thing and she doesn't f*ck up opportunities with other HBs in there.

 

[SamePendo]

I said I wouldn't post until I had my stuff together, but when you give the SamePendo signal.. I come to the rescue, always.

I unfortunately experienced this where I carried on talking for too long.. we already prearranged to meet up same time the week after but I made mistake of not letting the conversation end early and got interuppted with a 'im really sorry but i got to move on to my next exercise now..' i tried my luck later to get the digits but this compounded the problem and basically scared her away.

. . and she doesn't f*ck up opportunities with other HBs in there.

Yeah, you don't talk for too long. You have brief introductory chat, between sets, and that's all. But man, if she said

'im really sorry but i got to move on to my next exercise now..'

instead of

"I'm listening... *while going to other excercise*"

There was something going wrong there. What where you talking about?


So, when the attempted close fails, what do you do? You go and tell her to fvck off. Seriously.. if you have no interest in her, or sense it is a dead cause, you say hi normally, ask her how she's doing.. and go on to your buissiness. And some time in the future do more than that and ask her more about herself, like, what she does (studies/works), or some other chat. Once you're ok approaching, you will sometimes have closes fail with married, attached, or shy/anti-social women.

What you do, if you feel there's still a chance, is that you continue as if nothing had happened, but don't close for some time, make her feel safe with you (and gets to know that you don't kiss and tell). You game her normally, but with no rush.

Did this answer your question?

The SamePendo ultimate guide for gyms is still in the works. It's kickass! :rockon:

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

Well done, brother.

 

[djbr]

SamePendo! Nice to see you got out of that bad vibe you had in another post!

Keep rockin' man!

 

[drift king]

Thanks Samependo

Yeah, you don't talk for too long. You have brief introductory chat, between sets, and that's all. But man, if she said

'im really sorry but i got to move on to my next exercise now..'

instead of

"I'm listening... *while going to other excercise*"

There was something going wrong there. What where you talking about?

Basically I did too much of an afc move in that i hung on too long in the conversation even though i could tell she was ready to move onto her next exercise. In a space of about 20 secs i pretty much ruined it by staying on too long. I compounded the probs by going up to her later to get her number. I get the impression she started to feel closed off.

So, when the attempted close fails, what do you do? You go and tell her to fvck off. Seriously.. if you have no interest in her, or sense it is a dead cause, you say hi normally, ask her how she's doing.. and go on to your buissiness. And some time in the future do more than that and ask her more about herself, like, what she does (studies/works), or some other chat. Once you're ok approaching, you will sometimes have closes fail with married, attached, or shy/anti-social women.

What you do, if you feel there's still a chance, is that you continue as if nothing had happened, but don't close for some time, make her feel safe with you (and gets to know that you don't kiss and tell). You game her normally, but with no rush.

Did this answer your question?

Kinda.. Me and this chick are kinda at odds with one another.. if we catch eye contact as I pass by she'll look at me in somewhat a 'i recognise you' but then looks away and walks off.


To be perfectly honest I am actually more concerned about the after effects it might have on the other hot girls there.. because to be honest since that incident I've made a lot of new acquaintances which worse comes to worse will provide me with excellent social proof and make me look more prizeable cos im talking to all these hot girls in there. This one I don't really care too much about now bar the fact I don't want her to screw up my action by telling the other girls what i've done/did with her etc

I'm thinking of just LJBF-ing her next time I pass by her in a take it or leave it kinda way so at least I've been mature in the situation rather than anything else. What you reckon?

[/QUOTE]

 

[SamePendo]

I'm thinking of just LJBF-ing her next time I pass by her in a take it or leave it kinda way so at least I've been mature in the situation rather than anything else. What you reckon?[/B]

No, don't do that. You'd make it a big deal. Even if you had slept with her and all, you don't say that. Relationship talk is for women, you just act. Just be polite with her, say hi, and that's it. Don't ever worry about what others are saying, as long as you keep your cool, it will work to your advantage.

For example, in my case, I've got several, several, women at the same time, all of whom I've gamed, and nothing happens. Of course, when I turn around or when they're at the bathroom they talk, but all publicity is good publicity. If it's bad, and you're a DJ, they'll think "uuuh! what's so special about him? is he really bad?, I'll find out!" if it's good: "uuuh! I want to be his lover too!"

My gym thread final draft was over, and they cut off electricity, damn. It was great, all I had to do is pass it over here, oh well.

 

[drift king]

SamePendo I got a more taxing issue anyway.

The hottest girl in the gym came in the other day. she was stretching and stuff doing splits.. very limber. I started a convo with her regarding her stretching. Her response was polite but brief.. she didn't really want to engage in any convo. mainly because i could tell her training is important to her which is fair enough. also more importantly she was on an ipod the whole time not making it easy for me.

I tried again a few moments later she was polite again but gave me the hand signal to stop talking in order to finish the convo.

fast forward to now. I saw her for 2nd time the other night from a distance. I purposely did not go anywhere near the vicinity of her in case i came across as being a pest of some sort and just continued with my training routine.

Later when i moved into another room she was there I just stayed focused on what i was doing on the machine next to her not acknowledging her or anything.. she had her back to me anyhow. At one point she turned round and we caught eye contact, i just nodded and smiled. she just smiled in return.

later when i went to the bathroom and came back up she was leaving. I said see ya to her and she just smiled. realistically that of all times was best to start talking cos she had no excuse that she was in middle of training all be it she might be a rush to leave, but still she coulda engaged in 30 secs of convo. I didn't say anything because i was still thinking i could come across as a pest if i did.

unfortunately that is the best time frame i could possibly think of to catch her at the right time to talk.. I don't exactly want to go out of my way to bump into her as shes leaving but what do you suggest i do?

If i approach her while shes training i'll get the same polite brief response. From what i see im the only one who has engaged in any convo with her and the guys in there seem too scared/focused on their training to make any attempt to talk to the girls. All they do is just stare and check em out.

 

[SamePendo]

she was polite again but gave me the hand signal to stop talking in order to finish the convo.

Ouch!

Ipod chicks are a chapter by themselves. You take baby steps, you were kind of intrusive, I'll teach you how not to be intrusive, since some women do really want to work out. Be polite to her and all. Say hi, but that's all. When she's using a spot/excercise you want to use, wave at her so she gets eye contact with you and say:

"Hi, good morning/afternoon/night . . are you using this?" Ignore her immediately after, not even looking at her. And continue that way until my guide pops up.

 

[Quiksilver]

One of the girls I'm seeing right now, I met in the gym.

I've gone there for about 2 months now, and I have plenty of friends(some who already went there before), alot of people that I say Hi to and have acouple words with when I get in, and a bunch of girls that I'm friendly and on chatting terms with. It's more of an opportunistic approach, not actively going out creating social situations.

However...

I don't go to the gym to approach, or meet people. I go there to lift. period. There's a world of difference between somebody who is there never talks to anybody, and somebody who goes there to lift yet will talk to somebody if they cross paths. I'm not afraid of talking to anybody in the gym(hbs, instructors, the "big" guys, etc) yet I don't go out and actively engage them in convo. Just be cool in the gym man. Go in there, do your lifting/cardio, and get out. The only modification is, don't be afraid to engage in convo if you want to. When I ask to "work in" with somebody on the squat rack or something, I usually end up talking to the guy. If there's a girl using the ABdominator crunch thingy for like 500 sets, then I'll go up and ask her if she ate too much that afternoon, and how many more sets she had. Put a smile on your face, and be genuine. If you go there to "get some azz", chicks being the great body language detectors that they are, will sense it and "close up shop." If you go there and are focused on what you're doing instead of the girls, then conversation comes much easier, and girls can sense that you're not "out to get with them".

I've met plenty of people in the gym, and if somebody were to look at me offhand, they'd see me as anti-social(i wear ipod when doing cardio). After afew weeks though, everybody knows I'm a confident guy because not only am I there to lift(disinterested in puzzy, ie. not desperate), but if I feel like talking to somebody who I cross paths with, I will(social, confident, conclusion is that I'm likely in a LTR, because I CAN engage in good conversation, but don't feel like it).

I think I will write something on gym pick-ups too, and how simple pea-****ing(wearing some nice lifting threads), plus cool demeanor(not going overboard, like SamePendo, in talking to people.), plus being friendly and social, works like magic.

Also, if you go there to lift, and end up getting big instead of staying small like somebody who goes there for their social fix, the muscles certaintly help in any situation.

When I use the treadmill now, I don't know whether its just happenstance, or me being so bloody attractive, but EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. I use the treadmills, pretty girls start using the ones beside and behind me, or infront of me(my personal favorite. They know that you are going to be staring at their azz for the whole time, its actually an IOI when they do this.).

Why, might you ask, do they do this? Simple. They could find me attractive at best, or at worst, they are comfortable around me, because they know that I'm not going to start talking to them with any "hidden motives", but if a situation comes up, I will be social. Therefore, by being as close to me as possible, they're trying to increase their chances for one of those "situations". No, I'm not a 10/10 in looks, no I'm not a 10/10 in personality...But I act like it.

There are many many many many shy guys in the gym who even when the opportunity falls into their lap to talk to somebody, they opt not to, out of fear most likely. There are also those select few who use the "puzzy weights", and gaze around the room longingly at people, clearly going there for their social fix, who still end up talking to few or nobody, because they are socially CHALLENGING. I on the otherhand, am socially DISARMING.


Act like you're disinterested, but if the opportunity comes in your training routine where talking to them is a clear option, then go for it and be friendly.
They will wonder why you don't act so social, even when you can, and this will get them wondering "what kind of a life does he have?" , "he must be a fun guy, but he's so mysterious".

Lastly. Everybody is the same. You "notice" things happening in the gym, interactions between people, etc. And think that you are the only one. Well let me tell you, every time you approach a girl, other girls notice. This solidifies in their mind that you are
1) Single. this is bad by the way.
2) Desperate. talking to everybody is a no-no. it means you have no personal standards, and aren't selective, and don't qualify people.ie. not dominant.
3) Socially challenging. this is bad as well. When you finally approach the girl who's been watching you approaching the other girls, your chances just went down the toilet. In her head, she's thinking "Oh, so I'm just another piece of ass to him, and thats why he's talking to me??".

Basically, don't go Actively seeking girls in the gym. Talk to girls and guys both. Don't be proactive in your socializing, or you'll come off as desperate and unattractive/non-mysterious. Go about your lifting business, and when one of those moments comes where you could either be social, or be shy...Be social.

DON'T GO TO THE GYM FOR PUZZY, AND IT WILL FALL INTO YOUR LAP.

 

[SamePendo]

I don't go to the gym to approach, or meet people. I go there to lift. period.

(not going overboard, like SamePendo, in talking to people.)

Act like you're disinterested, but if the opportunity comes in your training routine where talking to them is a clear option, then go for it and be friendly.

Lastly. Everybody is the same. You "notice" things happening in the gym, interactions between people, etc. And think that you are the only one. Well let me tell you, every time you approach a girl, other girls notice. This solidifies in their mind that you are
1) Single. this is bad by the way.
2) Desperate. talking to everybody is a no-no. it means you have no personal standards, and aren't selective, and don't qualify people.ie. not dominant.
3) Socially challenging. this is bad as well. When you finally approach the girl who's been watching you approaching the other girls, your chances just went down the toilet. In her head, she's thinking "Oh, so I'm just another piece of ass to him, and thats why he's talking to me??".

1)From my draft:

It's NiceGuy talk. True, if you go to the gym, you should go to work out. If you go to the grocery store, you go to buy stuff. If you go to a soccer game, you go to the soccer game.

2)I go overboard? Read on . .

3)From my draft:

Unfortunately, or not, the 3 second rule doesn't always apply here. Looking at the approaches I lay for you, you can obviously see when to use these. Once you have the opportunity to approach, you approach. Think of the 3 second rule as this... the 3 seconds start once the actual opportunity arises.

4) You have a point. But I don't take women that seriously. I talk to a woman because the opportunity was there. And if another opportunity arises, I go for it. They stick around. You see it as if women think "Oh, so I'm just another piece of ass to him, and thats why he's talking to me??"

I see it as "Finally! SamePendo talks to me!" I won't get into their reality, I don't care what she thinks. Yes I am talking to her because I find her to be hot, but I won't be spending much time with her because I'd rather lift that listening to her yap.

Anyway, the point is, women thinking like you think they do shouldn't happen if you are there to LIFT. You won't have time to be that social, and come up as "desperate, socially challenging".

 

[Quiksilver]

You said somewhere that the number of women in your gym is greater than the number of guys.

The title of this thread is: meet all the women at your gym in a week.

That's a heck of a lot of people, I'd say that is going overboard for being social at the gym.

I see it as "Finally! SamePendo talks to me!"

Okay, you see it like that...But, why would they see it like that? If you're talking to the majority of girls in the gym, how would they feel special and important by talking to you?

The idea of thinking to yourself "I am the prize" is awesome, but if your thoughts aren't congruent with your actions, then you're just spinning your wheels. People who you can look at and think "he is the prize" don't go out of their way to meet other people. People come to them. Sure, establishing yourself as a social guy is an excellent idea, but doing that by only talking to hot girls and doing it all in a very short time reeks of desperation.

If you want to make a hot girl feel special, and want you, you can't be like all other guys and ignore her personality and chase after her tits & ass.

The whole idea of attracting girls, whether in the gym or a garbage heap out back, is establishing that you have high value. You do that by DHV'ing, being selective, having standards, qualifying them, neg'ing them, and showing that you aren't just after her puzzy, that you're actually seeing if her personality is up to par as well.

Talking to 50 girls in a week, in the gym, because they're "hot" shows me that because they have a nice body or face, that that is enough for you, and you'll put yourself out there just because of that.

Let me ask you...Do you ever try to engage the ugs in conversation? Girls can see right through you, and know what you're after. If they see a dude who's only talking to HBs, and who's wolf-eyes are always on the prowl for another piece of azz, they get turned off by that.

How about this...I'll give you the benefit of the doubt, and you show me how many f-closes you get after 2 months. Talking to that many girls, if your belief on "attraction" is congruent, should yield some results. This is as fair and open-minded as I can be: I give you two months, you show me some results. Writing an article on attracting women at the gym is sort of phony if you haven't successfully f-closed any.

Good luck...

p.s. I'll keep you up to date on my situation as well. It couldn't hurt everyone learning to have two conflicting styles...Who knows, mabye a combination of both opportunistic and proactive works best.

Anyways, peace

-------

edit: I thought I would bring this up...Was reading your article incase I missed a part where you might have posted a followup date or something...There weren't any, but I found this.

Originally posted by SamePendo
That's a really good idea. But, for the macho guys like me, we are forbidden by the macho law to go to those classes.

by "macho law", do you mean Fear? You are forbidden by your fear of being judged, so you avoid those classes. Get real man...Every time I read one of your posts, it feels fake. Up there with Last_Man_Standing's posts even.

 

[Quiksilver]

Originally Posted by Quiksilver
DON'T GO TO THE GYM FOR PUZZY, AND IT WILL FALL INTO YOUR LAP.

See, that line right there kind of makes me doubt your credibility. I mean, I avoid bush at all costs at the gym and never had any come anywhere CLOSE to "falling into my lap".

I don't think this banter is getting us anywhere, but just to clarify that:

Well, you're a smart guy, what I'm saying you probably already understand. What I'm saying is that you should take an opportunistic approach to PU in the gym. Don't go to the gym with the mindset of "I wonder if I'll get a HBs number this time" or "I hope that HB <name> is there today".

Rather, what the mindset should be is "Let's see if I can better that lift today" or "I wonder if I'll stay disciplined and do my full cardio routine."

The only difference is that my mind is not on girls. Ever heard the saying "He who tries the least, wins."? That's complete garbage, that saying, but in it is a gem of truth. The one who's always thinking about azz in the gym, is the one the girls won't try to get close to, and make themselves available to. I don't know why we're thinking about it abstractly, in terms of a gym. This is basic laws of attraction here, and works anywhere. The only difference is context.

Here, an example from today at the gym, about an hour ago:

So i go to the gym..blah, blah blah, do my lifting w/ ipod, etc. Don't really say much of anything to anybody. Say a word or two to some guys doing bi-curls while I'm in front of the db rack, etc. not really being social..Thinking about what I'm doing tonight, etc...So nothing's really happening..I see afew HB's...So what, they can kiss my sexy ass.. I finish the deadlifts and curls, and head over to do some cardio. I got tired of the 33 minute treadmill routine i have about 5 minutes in and can't keep my mind off tonight, so I tell myself I want to get out of there fast...Still not being social, probably voiced 1 coherent sentence in the past hour...I head over to the track to do afew minutes of HIIT(just as good as 30 minutes of treadmill work). I go to the far corner of the track, my usual spot. So there's this HB7 stretching behind me, just off the corner of the track. I spend a sec oggling her ass, cause it was damn fine and she was wearing spandex..serves her right, eh? I start doing my sprints, in a good mood, huffing and puffing..I come bck really tired after the first sprint and sit down against the wall and look over at her..I guess because of my "intense" attitude it caught her attention, and she gave me this weird smile. I gave abit of a smile back and that was that. I get up to do the next sprint, and a guy who was already on the track gives me a signal to race. I accept and smile, just being polite, say a couple words etc..So we do afew sprints together and chat for a second about fitness, close to this HB. I'm a pretty fun guy, so I had him laughing and stuff, talking in a loud voice, being generally obnoxious in a friendly way. So we do abit more sprinting, and he heads off..This HB who I'd totally forgotten about was just standing staring in my direction when I turn around...I smile and say "hey, wanna race?" She laughs and says she's stretching or some bs like that. I just grin as I pick my stuff up and say "Darn I was looking forward to seeing you run in that" pointing to her spandex(it was really tight, she got the joke). As I'm leaving I just came up to her and said "my name's ----" "my name's sarah" and went to give her the intro-hug(shake hands and put the other arm around her back, great kino), except pulled back cause she looked sweaty and said "After..you have a shower" and winked while chuckling. Then I said bye and left.

The story's abit fragmented/detailed, it just happened about an hour ago. See the difference? I wasn't planning on meeting her. If you exude positive energy and look/act like a fun guy, people will come to you. It was totally opportunistic, unforced, and natural. This happens acouple times a week atleast. I don't intend on following it up proactively. If she starts showing IOIs, then great I might just tell her that I'm going out to get afew drinks, and ask her if she wants to come. If not, well it was fun and it boosted my mood and that's all that matters.

Please, let's not bring looks into this. I know you like to debate it. I've never been complimented on my looks, aside from eyes, hair, and biceps, and acouple girls telling me im cute, back in the summer. I'm a pretty fit guy, because I actually go to the gym to work out.

Recap: Positive energy, smile, look like you're having fun, be confident, and don't be afraid of people.

I really don't know what else to say. Your way might work for you, and my way might work for me only, but I seriously believe that by acting like you're having a good time in the gym(most guys are solemn and drag their feet), you will get noticed, and whether it be guy or girl, you will get people trying to engage you socially.

peace

 

[SamePendo]

kids . . .

by "macho law", do you mean Fear? You are forbidden by your fear of being judged, so you avoid those classes. Get real man...Every time I read one of your posts, it feels fake. Up there with Last_Man_Standing's posts even.

You hurt my e-ego. I'm sure PRL is very hurt by your comments. It was a joke.

You do that by DHV'ing, being selective, having standards, qualifying them, neg'ing them, and showing that you aren't just after her puzzy, that you're actually seeing if her personality is up to par as well.

You strike me as a guy who knows his abc's, not puaish, but natural. But then you give me this ****? I'd rather be eating than DHVing, negging.. etc.


Where to start? . . I said I met all the women, I didn't fvck them all, I didn't close them all, I just said I met them.

Are you from the states? I mean, talking about romance and stuff? It's great that you think about making her feel special, and all that stuff, but I am congruent with my actions. She's not special, me approaching her doesn't make her special, I approach lots of women. She'll prove to be special if she behaves. I come from the AD school, Pook, Gunwitch. Yes I did approach ugs, I said I met all the women in the gym, that includes wild female boars.

Has anyone that has been through this DJ thing, notice that in a way, he has returned to being as he was, like a horny dog, but now, does it in a different way, that works, but still, is like old ways?

You are mistakenly thinking I go over them with my weaner out and go "HUA!", and to the next and next. I'll refrain from talking about how I approach since that's for the upcoming thread. I'm taking so long because I have to think on how I actually did approaches, and study them and see similarities, kind of like the scientific method.

I really get what you're saying, how you do things, and you don't get what I'm saying, that speaks about inexperience. As I posted here from my draft... the 3 second rule changes from the minute you see her, to the moment the opportunity arises. I'd rather chat up some hb while I rest than think how they can kiss my sexy ass. The fact that I PU women at the gym does not mean, not by a longshot, that I am not into my workout, not at all, it's a strict workout program.

I won't bring looks here, I hate that ****. But I will bring up the fact that your profile says your 18. Isn't 18 a highschool age? PU at highschool age is different from when you're older.

 

[Quiksilver]

Originally posted by SamePendo
Yes I did approach ugs, I said I met all the women in the gym, that includes wild female boars.

Aight, that was something you weren't clear on. I was under the presumption that you only talked to women you were interested in getting with.

I think this argument is done, I can see where I was wrong in labelling:

1) I thought you only talked to hot girls, in which case that reeks of desperation.

2)

You are mistakenly thinking I go over them with my weaner out and go "HUA!", and to the next and next.

I suppose you weren't clear in that I believed you "approached" all the hot girls, instead of simply "meeting" them.

And you can understand my points:

1) The concept of not approaching, but of attracting. Gunwitch sort of.

2) Yes, I'm against the idea of a PUA, although I can't argue with the fact that it's useful once you have your natural game down. Far too many people start memorizing material and learning how to seduce, rather than attract. Attraction shoud--from my perspective--come first, and seduction second. Many PUAs use seduction, and then attraction after.

3) I did agree that me being in HS makes things work differently. What works for me might not work for you, and vice versa.

--------------

However, don't label me as inexperienced because I'm 18. You don't know anything about me except for (bragging?)that I can pull girls on any given day, at any given time, without seduction, and without being some male model.