FR: Lust Wars IV: A New Hope

[d9930380]

I've seen a dude who pulls every night he's out BTW - He also gets shot down loads too. When he does, he just goes "**** you" and walks on. Now I'm not saying you should verbalise it but the attitude is right. At the end of the day, if some girl rejects you: You shouldn't give a **** about her.

 

[d9930380]

Sorry I know this is anoying but I just wanted to add this. The reason why: If you focus on your failures, you will think of yourself as a failure.

It's the reason why women think alot of men are ****s. Well news flash, **** them too. Your job isn't to make ALL women happy, you don't owe it to them or society or anyone else to be a "Nice" guy.

 

[skip2mylou781]

LUKE

u Crash and Burn alot (C & B) because you are 2 things, both of which u can fix

a)ur a total dweed with every single chick
b)u probly look very unattractive

this is why uve crashed and burned almost ur whole life with women!!!!

so, take my advice about improving ur looks where u can (and u can do that in EVERY catergory besides face) and b) go to some classes or something on "being layed back" and "being sexual"

problem solved

 

[Luke Skywalker]

Withdrawing post.

 

[skip2mylou781]

i want to see a picture of the guy....cuz the best looking girls are shallow, and if luke can get his looks up and look attractive, that'll b a HUGE peice of the puzzle solved right there

 

[skip2mylou781]

Why not? Girls in my life have been too mean and nasty to me to deserve better. There is only two choices, throw in the towel or next. I have enough negative experiences to just quit with women now.



Of course.



Or they are just mean and want to shoot your ego below the ground, that's a reason to next.




There is NO reason any girl would want to go out with me.



Great - as usual, no luck with any woman, no surprizes - life is definately not fair for me as far as women are concerned.



I can only sell myself for a woman to get rid of me faster. There is nothing to sell, unless she wants to buy a house, then maybe I can sell a house to her.



I cant have fun, since nobody likes me, how can I assume she will like me. Dating has been an ego-busting experience so far.



I dont tell her problems on the subject PRIMING dates, I'm busy interrogating her more than talking about myself.

What do I have?

- I rusted old green car.
- Livign with my parents and over 30 y/o.
- Haphazard and unstable job where I get paid if and when, hopefully enough money to use a hooker at some point if I dont get ripped off there.
- No personality.

I'm probably my own worst enemy because all I have is negative thoughts.



Whatever, all I've seen is failure.



I have too many negative thoughts, I hope it's not an obsticle.

i can basically assume u are horrible looking, everything just fits together!!!

LUKE....just ****in EXPLODE and say **** u all u motha****ers!!! and go use all ur rage, all ur anger against all those *****es who shot u down and HIT THE ****ING GYM......it'll take a year or 2 b4 u see very good results, but then when ur ****in that 1st woman after she takes her clothes off for a sexy muscular new you, u can **** the living **** outta her and "get revenge" on all those *****es from before!!!!

u NEED change

****in do anything, save some $$< move out, move away, find a new job, get an education, WORK ON UR LOOKS....and ur personality will naturally flow over

ps, I WANNA SEE A PIC

 

[Luke Skywalker]

LUKE

u Crash and Burn alot (C & B) because you are 2 things, both of which u can fix

a)ur a total dweed with every single chick
b)u probly look very unattractive

this is why uve crashed and burned almost ur whole life with women!!!!

so, take my advice about improving ur looks where u can (and u can do that in EVERY catergory besides face) and b) go to some classes or something on "being layed back" and "being sexual"

problem solved

They have classes on being layed back or sexual? Never heard of that.

 

[skip2mylou781]

somehow someway, try to apply to MTV's show called "Made" (not even kidding)

 

[d9930380]

It's not neccessarily to do with looks. His attitude sucks. He comes across as a lost little puppy using sympathy to get girls.

He wants another mother figure to take care of him and he wants to be the man that he thinks his mother wants him to be.

Once he admits that and then he will know that he wants to change. He HAS to change, this sympathy act WON'T work.

 

[Luke Skywalker]

I dont know how to read this, but it seems like you are saying that I should just 'shut-down' on girls in general until I get my life in gear.

Well, I'm working on improving my LSAT score right now, so, I should rather be focused on my present career and fixing myself for law school I suppose, and like just not do anything else with women?

Is that what you are trying to say?


There are two oddities of sympathy here - and it's not really an act.

1) I have never kissed or done anything with a girl before -- therefore will you please be my first girl because I'm like fvcking green - help me.

2) I dont have my act together here.

It goes back to elementary school, when I used to ask other kids if I could play with them as I was a loner in the school yard, I was always begging to get in, but never part of it.

It seems like the same psychology has passed into women or something.

How can you phase the above two things without being 'dishonest' and without looking for 'sympathy'?

 

[donjuanapprentice01]

Luke

I know how you feel man... I really do, because I feel the same way.

I'm 26 now and still haven't even gone up to bat, never mind getting to 1st base. And it's rough too, becuase I have girls that are friends, and it hurts sooo much, especially this one girl whom I want to get with sexually, but who is interested in some other guy, and it's pure torture being around her, so even though she is a really great friend, i'm gonna cut contact with her completely.

Just like you, I think it goes back to my elementary school days, where I was teased and abused like you wouldn't believe. This put me in the mindset at an early age that other people are bad to you, and hence I became socially withdrawn. And my parents didn't help either, they used to pick me up for lunch everyday because of the teasing. That screwed me up socially even more.

High school wasn't much better, I only had 1 friend, who is still friends, but is a major loser and didn't even bother calling me up yesterday to wish me a Happy Birthday. So, he's totally useless.

College was just as bad, although I could have had plenty of friends now that I think back on it, but I was just too screwed up socially to even bother.

Girls was a different problem for me. I've never been on a date, nor done anythin like that. It takes me a while to warm up to someone, so I never let my intentions be known until I'm squarely in the friendzone, and then I'm screwed. So, I have female friends, but they never want to get with me, then they get with someone else and this crushes my ego even more, which is why I end up having to cut them out of my life. This one girl I'm interested in won't even try hooking me up with someone, so she is totally useless to.

I dunno, all I'm saying is I know where your coming from and it sucks, and it's not about looks as I'm decent looking, but I guess I don't fit the personality chicks are looking for.

 

[d9930380]

No - you fake it till you make it. You will make mistakes and look like a fool but that's how you will learn.

Don't put girls on hold - girls don't prevent you from getting on with the rest of your life.

Don't go around looking for sympathy. People aren't generally nice to people like this, they might take you on as pet for a while but in the end it will actually reafirm what you think of yourself and won't do you any good. You will see yourself through their eyes, what you need to be doing is standing up for yourself.

Yes - Your personality has been shaped by childhood and yes it probably goes along way into explaining why you are the way you are. I would guess that your Mother showed you unconditional love, far more than a normal person. When you aren't treated that way by other people, then you go back into your shell because you haven't learnt how to deal with rejection or people not being nice. You're looking for this (unconditional love) from other people and especially from girls. You never got to the stage where you rebelled against your mother (a very important step for personal development), and therefore you never gave a reason for your mother to be anoyed with you and for you to fight back against her. You should have learnt these things in the home.

Get over that mentality. Don't try too hard being nice to people and don't put any value in their oppion of you. You shouldn't have to ask people to be invited somewhere (basically be my friend because I'm desparate) especially more than once. Once you've changed that mindset and you have something to offer the group, then people will want you as a friend and invite you places with them because they want you there. You need to grow a pair of balls and as good as any place to do this is when your out on dates with women because you will never see them again. Don't agree with everything she says, do things because you want to. Be what YOU want to be - if she likes you, she will like you and that goes for everyone. I'm not saying to be a jerk, just don't be a wuss. If you c&b, laugh it off, it can be funny. This girl doesn't know you, her judgement of you DOESN'T matter. You don't owe anyone anything, you don't have to act a certain way to please people. **** them.

All these mythods and techniques you're learning aren't pointless but they can only get you so far.

If you want my advice! Start trying to go with a fat ugly girls! She will probably be just as inexperienced as you and that will make things MUCH easier as the pressure will be off. A few months of plenty of dates, kisses, sex etc and you can "slowly" start to move up the leagues.

Good luck!

 

[d9930380]

donjuanapprentice01 - You do wonder about parents. ****ing people have kids and don't read a book that tells them how to rear them, jeez they read manuals to set-up their video recorder. But no, kids will work that out for themselves! ****ing *******s. Being a parent isn't just about loving your kids but "teaching" them too.

I wouldn't cut out all ties with this girl. Treat her as a learning experience. Right now she sees you as the "nice" guy who will be her emotional tampon, well you can use her as your person that you learn to have the balls to stand up to people and especially other girls. I bet she does alot to piss you off! If so, start calling her on it. Refrain from being jealous, she will just walk away then. She doesn't deserver jealousy either because she's never "lead" you on. But if she says "lets go here" answer "No, I want to go here instead" or if you're drinking "It's your round now" etc. Start talking about YOU.

Now this girl will probably walk away because the ONLY reason why she likes you is the whole emotional tampon/attention thing. So what, what have YOU lost. If she does, say "What's your problem, why aren't you calling me now", You've given her friendship, she should give the same back and if she doesn't, you have every right to be pissed off. Remember that!

Start USING people!!!!!

 

[Luke Skywalker]

Don't go around looking for sympathy. People aren't generally nice to people like this, they might take you on as pet for a while but in the end it will actually reafirm what you think of yourself and won't do you any good. You will see yourself through their eyes, what you need to be doing is standing up for yourself.

I dont know, but it seems that the way things appear to be phrased, do you have any books that you would like to recommend that I read so that I dont come across that way?

You never got to the stage where you rebelled against your mother (a very important step for personal development), and therefore you never gave a reason for your mother to be anoyed with you and for you to fight back against her. You should have learnt these things in the home.

Everyone here has done this? I dont intend to live here foreever anyway, but I'm certainly not going to risk becoming a homeless person with the hopes of scoring with women.

For the record, no women has rejected me primarily on reason of my socioeconomic background or because of where I live.

Any problems with woman could be indirectly caused by how these conditions may affect me psychologically as you suggested based on how I act around girls, but if they are psychological or it's because I'm just "green" and need to get the hang of things, then I dont see how living with my parents has any effect on anything - except nighttime/evening mobility.

Get over that mentality. Don't try too hard being nice to people and don't put any value in their oppion of you.

Of course. Unfortunately, I have difficulty balancing between nice and nasty.

If you want my advice! Start trying to go with a fat ugly girls! She will probably be just as inexperienced as you and that will make things MUCH easier as the pressure will be off. A few months of plenty of dates, kisses, sex etc and you can "slowly" start to move up the leagues.
Good luck!

FUG's, no I dont think so. I've already gone out with them, and they have done nothing to help my confidence. All I end up doing is look at other girls around them and get jealous of the guys who have them while I'm stuck with a c0ckblocker - not a good feeling to have.

 

[Luke Skywalker]

Get a decent apartment, a stable job, and a post-1995 clean automobile, and you'll likely feel better about yourself. Your self-image will improve, and that is key.

Your life wil never be perfect or "fixed," but you'll probably find yourself attracting a more respectable array of women.

Epsi, great to hear from you here -

Unfortunately, that doesn't work for me. I cant just go out, get a stable job, decent apartment and a post-1995 clean car like I'm going to a variety store to buy milk.

I have to work with what I have. I'm in Real-Estate, so obviously, it's hit and miss to try and make some deals, all I can do is change Brokerages to see if I'll make more money somewhere else. In terms of finding a stable job, the economy is messed up here - you only have part-time crap jobs here where you'll live in some crap-hole if you are lucky enough not to be homeless and going to a food-bank. That's why I have two options - maximizing my success as a Real-Estate agent or going into a different profession altogether, which I'm also trying to do.

I'm just pointing out to the complexities of my situation and life as a whole. It's not simple to do those things like you are going to a variety store to buy milk.

Anyway, women I've dated haven't GONE THAT FAR to see my car. C&B on other issues have prevented that from happening. Usually, they'll see what I'm wearing and my business cards and hear my tone of voice - that's all they have to work with. Usually, I evade people away from my car by insisting to walk them to theirs 'like a gentleman' and park my car at the other end of the lot and never drive them to any scheduled dates - you get what I'm saying? My car has rust on it - so that has to be fixed, otherwise it has a few dents on the hood but it's not that bad.

 

[pooparu]

NO DO NOT FAKE IT TILL YOU MAKE IT.

Make **** happen instead of faking it.

Luke, I'm gonna deal with you first, then you don juan apprentice. Luke if you follow this, I can almost g uarantee you you will be in a much better position than you are now, please trust me man, I don't wa nna see you get all cynical and pessimistic for no reason, life is to wonderful not toa ppreciate it. And I know you are probably thinking, What does some 16 year old kid want to help ME out for . Because man, once you EXPERIENCE life you want EVERYONE to experience it, as I'm sure most of the REAL guys that help up here can tell you (skip, Self mastery, life force, AC/DC).

You need to stop concentrating on women. Now, just forget them for now. Toss out everything you know, forget priming dates, seduction dates, techniques, neg hits, etc. I want you to close your eyes, and look at your life as a time line. See good experiences, bad experiences, neutral, SEE life. And then walk through some of those experiences as a man, such as the experiences as a kid, and just watch it all. Watch it like its a MOVIE. Get into it, stand RIGHT BESIDE yourself in all of these movies and just listen to the interactions. Now keep moving forward, and REALIZE THAT YOU HAVENT BEEN LIVING. You've been EXISTING. What if you were going to DIE in the next 24 hours, would you be happy with the way you lived? NOT CONTENT, but truly HAPPY. If you say no, then a change is in order.

First off man, for the next few days, forget all about women, don't put pressure on yourself to sarge or nothing else. Figure out, first off, WHAT YOU WANT. Come to grips to what you want out of life. Forget having an ego, or anything like that. Simply consider what you want out of life. You say you want to go to law school. BAM, thats your PATH. No one is going to take you off that. Your mother, father, women, NO ONE. And don't just aspire to be some lawyer, YOU ARE GOING TO BE THE BEST ****ING LAWYER POSSIBLE IN THIS WORLD. Don't say its impossible. They told Ford his Engine was impossible. It can't be made they said. Try again until you get it right . And you know what? Through all the impossiblities that they said, we now have V6 engines every ****ing where (correct me if I'm wrong someone on the type of engine).

"But I thought it was impossible pooparu"

Bull****, impossible does not exist, its simply a tool the insecure use to control those who are more insecure. They said man would never fly, they said we would never reach the stars or touch the moon, it was impossible, well damn, I guess all the airplanes we fly in aren't REAL.

"Why are you telling me all this?"

BECAUSE I WANT YOU TO REALIZE THAT IMPOSSIBLE IS NOTHING.

"well Life isn't fair"

THATS ****ING AWESOME NEWS. If life was fair we would all drive the same car, have the same amount of land, the same talents, the same education, the same EVERYTHING. Then we all would simply be EXISTING and not living. Do you realize that its probably the most BLESSED thing that life is not FAIR ?

ACCEPT THIS MAN, BECAUSE THIS IS WHERE YOU MUST START.

"Alright so I get it life isn't fair, but why does all the bad **** happen to me?"

Because you MAKE it happen to yourself. As you think you shall become said a great man.

"That doesn't help me AT ALL, even when I want things to happen, they never do ."

You still don't get it do you? Let's take a look at a great man.

Everyday, day after day, t his man persevered. He had a dream, a purpose, but it all seemed impossible. Day after day, month by month, year by year, his dream seemed to slip further and further away. He wanted to bless mankind with the light of his passion, but it all seemed but impossible. Yet he persevered.

"Impossible is nothing" his mind yelled at him, spurring him on all those long years.

And then one day, as the moon began to rise and he sat by the light of his candle, darkness slowly creeping into his basement, suffocating his dreams yet another time, there was light. It burned so bright and so powerfully that the darkness was forced to retreat in recognition of this mans power. His passion had destroyed darkness. Though he had failed thousands of times, he had achieved his success. And he took something else from it:

For thomas edison can tell you 10,000 ways not to make a lightbulb, and the one real way to make one as well.

This must be where you start, REALIZE THAT IMPOSSIBLE IS NOTHING.

"You are right pooparu, but what do I do now? "

**** if I know.


Nah really I might have an idea or two .

You must first become a man. Get YOUR life where you need to be. You don't need techniques to meet people, you need confidence.

"DAMNIT, STOP TELLING ME TO GET CONFIDENCE"
Chill out, I'm not just going to say that and leave you there. Confidence does not come from

 

[pooparu]

repeating affirmations, or nailing HBs, some of the most successful guys with women are just great ACTOS. Confidence comes from achieving the goals you desire. Set small ones at first. Pass your LSAT, get into a law program, improve upon self, and others will appreciate you. Smile, let people know you are friendly. The main point, is to ENJOY LIFE. If there is an aspect t hat you don’t like, t hen change it, that’s what builds confidence. Being HAPPY with the life you have built, and not settling. I’m running out of juice though, so go through the DJ bible without thinking about negs, techniques, ****, just go through with an open mind and try to absorb all you can. Also man you seem like you would really benefit from BBB’s posts (I recommend these to everyone, maybe its just me but I’ve got a certain affinity to his posts and writing style, you can tell its sincere):

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=31745
http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=14792
http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=14536
http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=33271
http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=33279
http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=33375
http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=33611
http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=33710
http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=60989
http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=84762
http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=24770
http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=49943
http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=29582
http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=66600
http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=25079
http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=29815

In fact, just read all of his posts, I haven’t even read all of them but I’m about to now that I’ve seen some really interested one. You need inspiration man. And I know it seems kind of counter intuitive for me to tell you to read all that while saying you don’t need techniques but my reasons are:
1. You are already wasting time reading books that aren’t going to help ****, at least this really will help you.
2. These aren’t techniques, these are mindsets, beliefs, etc, that you NEED.

Trust me man, and just hit me up for whatever, hopefully I can write more a bit later.

Edit: I just realized part of that was kinda stylized like one of pooks post, I don't mean to take any credit from him or anything before anyone comes rushing up here saying that I copied him, I was reading some of his posts before it must still be fresh in my mind.

 

[The Truth]

Luke, it seems like you are basic all your strategies on a book you have read and as I've said before I think your failure comes down to your lack of passion and unpredictability, and that you are not being natural.

Stop treating women like a puzzle that needs to be solved. I've been in a lot of long term relationships and have lived with a girlfriend for 3 months but I can tell you now that you will NEVER understand, predict or control women!

Pooparu has been giving some damn good advice in this thread by the way!

 

[Luke Skywalker]

Thank you for the input Pooparu the Wise, however, I would like to say that I went to University before and had crippling onitis hang-ups with some girls, where I proscrastinated for years to ask them out while agonising in silence about them.

What I am saying is that I cant just go through this self-improvement stuff in a vacuum, of course, people should also exercise, socialise, sarge and do other things rather than go behind a book all day or study all day. You have to feel like a total person, not some self-improvement machine.

Now, I probably would have done better in school, if I asked everyone out that I wanted to ask out, and simply moved on if they said no or whatever. That being said, there is also the opposite extreme, people just into this stuff with no ambition.

I'd combine SARGE efforts - for example, if studying, do it at the library where there may be girls around that you can talk to - hey at least there is a legitimate reason for beign there, and you can talk along those type of lines, rather than just study at home.

I've learned the hard way, that studying to the detriment of social life, or exercise is counter-productive.

 

[pooparu]

Thank you for the input Pooparu the Wise, however, I would like to say that I went to University before and had crippling onitis hang-ups with some girls, where I proscrastinated for years to ask them out while agonising in silence about them.

What I am saying is that I cant just go through this self-improvement stuff in a vacuum, of course, people should also exercise, socialise, sarge and do other things rather than go behind a book all day or study all day. You have to feel like a total person, not some self-improvement machine.

Now, I probably would have done better in school, if I asked everyone out that I wanted to ask out, and simply moved on if they said no or whatever. That being said, there is also the opposite extreme, people just into this stuff with no ambition.

I'd combine SARGE efforts - for example, if studying, do it at the library where there may be girls around that you can talk to - hey at least there is a legitimate reason for beign there, and you can talk along those type of lines, rather than just study at home.

I've learned the hard way, that studying to the detriment of social life, or exercise is counter-productive.

I know it man, when I was younger (13ish) I used to have bad one itis. Like I would literally sit down and plan out conversations. That wouldn't be the bad part. It became bad when I started envisioning a future with girls, taking htem out, showing htem off, planning a new life around these girls. Here's what you gotta realize bro, when you're mind starts setting up scenarios, even make believe, after a while it gets so deceived that it believes they are real. The solution? Don't not think about a girl you may think may be exclusive material, but CATCH yourself IDEALIZING. Trying to rescue a woman you've idealized is almost certainly a losing battle (kudos to David D for that one), and I've sinced learned its almost 100% right with ANYTHING.

Yo man, for a while I used to be like a few guys on this site. Pretending to be DJ, studying all these skills, but all the time I was using this knowledge to creativly avoid actually meeting women. And you know what was worse? On the instances that I did meet women and I happened to succeed, I would use these to fuel my "learning" sessions for the next few MONTHS, and just say, "Alright great, that's one woman I can take a while off and learn some more", and now that I look back all I was doing was just learning more skills so that I might be able to TRICK my mind into making me successful with women. It doesn't work man, and trust me, the self improvement path is LONG and ardous (I'm really just beginning I'm only 16 ! ), but its well worth it rather than be like 75% of the people on this board, spitting out advice that rarely works for them or that they have read in the book.

One thing I have to say for you man, is that even though I don't agree with most of your methods and ****, YOU ARE DOING SOMETHING. And I, and I can tell you most other REAL Djs out there, no matter how much we hate the methods you use, harbor a deep respect for you, because we recognize that even though you don't know exactly WHAT you are doing, you are DOING something. In some ways I think most AFCs can learn from you man, so don't get down on yourself.

You are going to succeed man, forget techniques and ****, go through that DJ bible, read some of BBBs post (I think they are really inspirational man, so if at first you don't like a few, then find maybe what I would call your own "so suave" mentor. I think everyone has a favorite poster. Skip has gunwitch, I have BBB, alot of people have Pook, etc), maybe pick up some David D (WATCH IT THOUGH, don't fall into the trap that even he warns about, about learning to avoid, just use his ****, combined with the DJ bible to improve upon self), and go improve upon yourself. small steps first, work on body language, voice tone, etc. Then take a few bigger ones, get a new hair cut to make yourself FEEL like you are new and improved. Get a few new threads, you don't have to go on a HUGE shopping spree, but get some new clothes, then go out SMILING, and just say hi, how you doing. Personally I find to really get in the spirit of meeting people I LOVE (something that I really picked up from BBB), talking to people that are paid to be nice, or even people that don't get treated the best, I'm telling you so many people have great stories. Bus Drivers, train conductors, etc, all these people are taking ADVANTAGE of, by AFCs like we are trying not to be, and ass holes, and jerks, and never get appreciated. Realize that all these people are what keeps our world RUNNING. They are the ones driving our transportation, running our stores, protecting us (police officers), and almost all of them have a story just WAITING to be told for the first wlling ear. People like to be talked to, TRUST ME MAN. Make eye contact, maintain it, just when you see a woman looking, LOOK INTO HER EYES, and you will feel something. Trust me man, it's something that only two people can experience, and its unique with EVERY woman, not to sound like some love poet, but every person is unique and different, you realize that man? EVERYONE has a story.

AND just think in a few months, or a year or two, when you are a successful lawyer, with the wife you have wanted all your life and your first child on the way, living on your own, you can look back and tell some aspiring DJ kid about how you made it. Or you are going to be a master DJ on THIS site, and people are going to look back on your story and go, "bull**** this guy is a nerd", but the real people who want to change, or are DJs now are gonna say, "yea, keep on calling bull****, we KNOW what this guy has been through" and DJs that REALLY are going to make it are gonna go, "Alright this guy pulled through and did this, I CAN DO THIS TO."

You're making history man, keep pushing, for when the sun rises in the morning, you are going to be rising with it.