Found her E-MAIL PASSWORD. Cruel Messages!!!!

[Brazilian Guy]

I was in a relationship with this HB for almost a year , had most of my total happines time in my
life being with her(no need to say ...ONE-IT) .But she is like a female DJ, seems like she know
all the rules....and kwnow how to use it too.But this is another topic....

Anyway...some time ago I discovered(whitout her knowing) her e-mail password. So things were great(at least for me)
but everyday at work I had this urge to check her mail.I used to check her messages often...and I guess
last saturday I found what I was looking for.

She Had a boyfriend(that would be tha guy who ****ed/made love....for the first time and was the only man
she SAID that she had sex before myself) And she sometimes talked about him...
We both have accounts in the ORKUT.COM ...one of the networks that people are able to create a profile and
add friends...send scrap and stuff....

Last week this EX msg her scrapbook saying that he just found her profile and added her to his friend list
and ended the msg saying to her send an email telling whats the news...(how she was doing) since she hasn´t
kept in touch with him since they breaked up.He lives in a far away town ...


So I As usual checked the Inbox I saw a Replyed email from him to her.
This mail had the original email that she sent to him.


It was like:

ATTENTION ON THIS...THE SUBJECT of her email was a word(SAUDADES) that here in Brazil its similar to I MISS you..
Like when I have a good time in something or someone and I miss that ,we say that we have SAUDADES.



Hi....XXXXX,
Im now studing at xxxxx, im not living in xxx town..im living with friends...bla bla bla (not mecioned once
that she was in a relationship with someone(that would be me) and endid the mail saying:
.... show up?It only deppends on you...kisses..XXX

His reply to this message was like:

Hello XXXX,
My life now is bla bla bla bla bla bla .....
And at the end of the mail he says something like:

"that´s funny ...I was thinking of you last day....I think we could meet sometime as fried...OR to have
that promisse made...it would be nice ..huh? "


So in a moment of anger I deleted his message , in a fast act of trying to solve the problem and
never talk about it with her....and at this point knowing this start to maybe have other girls,
stop caring about her and giving her a hard time upon this. But I realy LOVE this girl , and I think
I could never carry this relationship thinking if she is goona flake on me or leave me for him...or
even cheat on me with him.

So when she saw me the same day , I confessed that what I did and said that I know that what I did
was wrong anyway but let her know that I read the her and his email ....she lost control...she was surprised
and kind of walkaway with an desapointed atitude(she acted like she was the victim)


I am realy down....it has been 3 days but it seems like a eternity ....I send to her a copy of the message
i deleted from her inbox (I kept a txt copy of it) to her ... but until today I dind´t look for her...
Not calls...not email...not sms .

What should I do?Wait her to convence me that I missunderstood all this...and if she tries so should I forgive
her if she came with a perfect esxcuse?

What do you guys think of it? If you can help me ...please do it. I just feel so blue!

 

[Big Eee Zee]

wow. Just...wow.

Break up with her, she is gone. There is nothing you can do to fix this. Read the DJ bible, and try not to be such an AFC in the future.

 

[Bible_Belt]

You blew it. I wish I could give you happy news, but I can't. I know what you are feeling, because I have done the same thing as you. Jealousy is the kiss of death. I'd estimate your chances with this girl at about 10%.

Cut off all contact with her. Date other women, as many as possible for the next couple of months. Realize that she will date other men during this time, and get over it emotionally. Then, after dating other women, casually initiate friendly contact with her. Do not tell her you missed her. Very subtlely, which will still be painfully obvious to her because women are so intuitive, let her know that you are dating and have moved on. Act like you are trying to con her into introducing you to her single friends. This advice is all imho, but I think it is your only chance.

 

[raspliffarian]

thats what happens for opening the pandora's box...

....you gotta be like the police on isht like this... until youre have concrete evidence (that wasn't obtained thru illegal/dishonest means) then you shouldn't be using it at all

get some distance from this girl... let some time pass... then if you want to take another shot... get in contact and see if you can re-gain her trust


if the girl is not worth the worry because of her behaviour around other dudes then admit its over and move on

do what ya gotta do...

 

[AsianPlayboy]

You acted out of insecurity and from a weak frame. You deserved what you got.

She knows the rules of the Game. You don't.

Every attractive girl, just like every MAN should, has a rotatable queue of potential boyfriends & lovers. Live & learn.

 

[NoMoreAFC]

that's one lesson you've learned the hard way my brazilian friend... but don't worry start seeing other girls and forget about her, cut all contact 100 %.

like we say in Portugal " ha mto peixe no mar "

or

" there's plenty of fish in the sea "

good luck bro

 

[Blue Phoenix]

Originally posted by Brazilian Guy
I was in a relationship with this HB for almost a year , had most of my total happines time in my
life being with her

Anyway...some time ago I discovered(whitout her knowing) her e-mail password. So things were great(at least for me)
but everyday at work I had this urge to check her mail.I used to check her messages often...and I guess
last saturday I found what I was looking for.

She Had a boyfriend(that would be tha guy who ****ed/made love....for the first time and was the only man
she SAID that she had sex before myself) And she sometimes talked about him...

It was like:

Hi....XXXXX,
Im now studing at xxxxx, im not living in xxx town..im living with friends...bla bla bla (not mecioned once
that she was in a relationship with someone(that would be me) and endid the mail saying:
.... show up?It only deppends on you...kisses..XXX

When she saw me the same day , I confessed that what I did and said that I know that what I did was wrong anyway but let her know that I read the her and his email ....she lost control...she was surprised and kind of walkaway with an desapointed atitude(she acted like she was the victim)

I am realy down....
What should I do? if she tries so should I forgive
her if she came with a perfect esxcuse?

What do you guys think of it? If you can help me ...please do it. I just feel so blue!

What I understood is that you're second priority to her. In another words, she wants her cake and eat it too. What you did was not very ethical but what she did wasn't either. You have to show some respect now.

Do not forget the motto "always be willing to walk away".

About being in love, remember that the higher your interest level the more insecure you feel towards her.

 

[TooColdUlrick]

pretty pathetic

 

[izza]

For her to forgive you for something like this, you NEED to first forgive yourself. You sound absolutely frantic my brother. Chill out bro, I know you care a lot about this girl, and you sound really worried that she's going to leave you. It sounds like you don't feel worthy of this girl (been there), and I assume the sex isn't too hopping at the moment (why you're so insecure about the relationship).

You need: more feeling of self-worth, confidence, and forgiveness of yourself. The situation is bleak, but salvagable. She wants you to call and sweep her off her feet, make her feel confident that you understand her needsand be a confident man again. You can do it bro.

Izza

 

[joekerr31]

personally i dont think he did anything wrong. his intuition told him that something was fishy, and it was right.

now, he shouldnt have told her that he read the email. he just should have dumped her *ss. cut all contact off and not explained why.

the only mistake you made was giving her the satisfaction of knowing that she had such power over you thta you were willing to sacrifice your principles (ie. snooping in her email) to quell your jealousy.

any way you cut it, be thankful that shes out of your life. do you really want to waste even 1 more second of your life with someone like her?

you need to respect yourself and care about yourself enough to know that no one deserves to be treated the way you were.

anything other than cutting loose of her completely will just bring you more pain.

J

 

[Black_Italian]

she lost control...she was surprised
and kind of walkaway with an desapointed atitude(she acted like she was the victim)

Yeh I hate it when you invade there privacy and they have the balls to get mad at you and act like their the victim. Pftt women.

IDIOT!! You are a IDIOT!

Get some help you are bordering on being a stalker.

Ninja out

 

[penkitten]

dude, if someone is gonna mess around on you, they are going to do it .
i think i would have probally done the same thing. honest.
however, even if you deleted the message, you still got a bone to pick about whats going on. i read the messages that you said were written, and my stomach churns from them. i hate cheaters and sneaks.

what are you going to do?

 

[So pimp its scary]

NEXT!!!!
NEXT!!!!
NEXT!!!!
NEXT!!!!
NEXT!!!!
NEXT!!!!

Then, do yourself the favor and don't date ANY other women untill you start to get what you've done wrong here.

OMG, I seriously want to give you a b!tch slap across the face... HARD!!

Wake up man.

Issues that you need to look at (based on your post) :
- Insecurity :
Why would you hold on to her e-mail password?
Why would you use said password?

- One-itis (yes you said not to mention it) :
Please, understand this statement "had most of my total happines time in my life being with her". This is truly a sad statement and, unless you've been married for more than half you're life, this statement should never come out of ANYONE's mouth.
I'm going to guess that you've basically gone through your life bouncing from one serious relationship to another... if you wanna play in the big leagues, you're going to have to put in a few more practice sessions.

- Confidence : I bet you walk you're day away carrying yourself like a fvcking floppy dildo. Take a look at yourself, and do an inventory, find out what you like and dislike about yourself, and work on those things.

Now, we'll move on to the issues in the relationship :
Now, you're gf has either cheated on you, or was in the process of arranging the cheating session... accept it. And dump this girl.

To take this girl back, you might as well pull your balls right out of the sack and hang them up to dry because you obviously won't be using them for a long time.

So, now that reality factor should have kicked in...
Take a look at what you did in the relationship to make this girl want to cheat?
Take a look at the things you can do to make sure that it doesn't happen again.
Why would you even consider fixing the relationship with a girl that cheats?
Why would you then continue to send this girl the message from the guy that she's gonna end up fvcking again???

I mean come the fvck on, if you're not getting anymore, why the fvck would you do the other guy the favor (the only instance where I would recommend doing the c0ckblock routine)?

---------------

Please, take offence, but don't take offense. I don't point out these things out of spite, but rather out of a deep sense of pain that is caused by watching/reading about people doing such stupid things... it seriously hurts my very soul.

 

[Black_Italian]

she wouldn't cheat if he had balls.

Ninja out

 

[Bill S. Preston Esq]

All a crock of **** this is.

No matter how much of a pimp or player or whatever you think you are if your girl wants to cheat she will cheat.You will never be good enough in her mind.

True, certain things will inspire her to go ahead with it, but that's not a real relationship, it's more like an merger.

I think while it broke some of the trust to snoop her email, you had probable cause to do the search. Whatever these guys will tell you, it's not your fault for the guy to email her and it's not your fault she responded.

You are better off without her. If you wish to keep your sanity, stay away from her and enjoy your life.

 

[GirlCrazy]

Heh, she acted like a victim, imagine that. That's because she WAS the victim. What you did was weak, and it made you look like a psycho stalker.

You won't salvage the situation either. All you can do is learn from your mistake. It's ok, everyone screws up. Just don't do it again. Go out, meet some women and have fun, but don't get too attached to them.

 

[Triple X]

Black Italian, Big Eee Zee, and anyone else who made a comment along the same lines...

That is UTTER BS!!!!

You think because his girl was about to cheat on him it's obviously because he is an AFC!! It has to be, there could be no other reason!!

UTTER BS!!!

People cheat. Not everyone, of course, but a lot of people. You think the only reason he was about to get cheated on was because he was an AFC? Yet he's been coming to this site for a while, and they have been together for almost a year?? Would she stay with an AFC for that long?

This probably has nothing to do with how he acted or anything like that. It's more than likely a case of her ex coming back on the scene and her rediscovering her past emotions (which is never good). The situation is one which is sadly out of his control.

You think so long as you are a 'Master DJ', no girl will ever cheat on you?? You will be very likely in for some serious damage to your ego if you think that.

I hate it when ppl just dismiss someone like that saying 'well if you had balls/ if you were more of a man/ not an AFC etc... then she wouldn't have cheated on you in the first place'.

UTTER BS.

 

[MacDiddy]

What is your motive in confessing???

What did you hope to achieve... Seems very AFC and something most guys would do, but I still can't grasp it.

 

[Blue Phoenix]

Originally posted by GirlCrazy
Heh, she acted like a victim, imagine that. That's because she WAS the victim. What you did was weak, and it made you look like a psycho stalker.

You won't salvage the situation either. All you can do is learn from your mistake. It's ok, everyone screws up. Just don't do it again.

It's easy to blame someone and call him weak when you are not involved, but to some extent you are right. Sometimes we do lose our heads, so we had better be careful with what we do and not be so impulsive. :trouble:

P.s: He was also a victim because she was with another guy. Don't forget that victms make new victims.

Originally posted by Triple X
Black Italian, Big Eee Zee, and anyone else who made a comment along the same lines...

That is UTTER BS!!!!

You think because his girl was about to cheat on him it's obviously because he is an AFC!! It has to be, there could be no other reason!!

UTTER BS!!!

People cheat. Not everyone, of course, but a lot of people. You think the only reason he was about to get cheated on was because he was an AFC? Yet he's been coming to this site for a while, and they have been together for almost a year?? Would she stay with an AFC for that long?

This probably has nothing to do with how he acted or anything like that. It's more than likely a case of her ex coming back on the scene and her rediscovering her past emotions (which is never good). The situation is one which is sadly out of his control.

I hate it when ppl just dismiss someone like that saying 'well if you had balls/ if you were more of a man/ not an AFC etc... then she wouldn't have cheated on you in the first place'.

UTTER BS.

I'm with you here. These people think they know so much about dating that they go out bashing the others.

There are a lot of cheaters out there. Narcissistic, histrionic and anti-social people, for instance, are the masters of cheating. No matter how much "tight" your game is, they WILL cheat on you.

Black Italian's pessimism is just terrible.

 

[Aisujin]

LOL!! :crackup: :crackup: :crackup: