Found her E-MAIL PASSWORD. Cruel Messages!!!!

[OneArmDeeJay]

Originally posted by Brazilian Guy
I was in a relationship with this HB for almost a year , had most of my total happines time in my

Anyway...some time ago I discovered(whitout her knowing) her e-mail password. So things were great(at least for me)
but everyday at work I had this urge to check her mail.I used to check her messages often



That right there is just wrong!!

That right there was a violation of trust.

You did not trust your GF and this shows you have major insecurity issues.

How would you feel if you found out your woman did that to you?

I would dump her azz in a heartbeat. Why? There was no trust! You have to have Trust & Respect in a relationship.

Also I would have to agree with raspliffarian when he said:

"thats what happens for opening the pandora's box...

....you gotta be like the police on isht like this... until youre have concrete evidence (that wasn't obtained thru illegal/dishonest means) then you shouldn't be using it at all

get some distance from this girl... let some time pass... then if you want to take another shot... get in contact and see if you can re-gain her trust


if the girl is not worth the worry because of her behaviour around other dudes then admit its over and move on

do what ya gotta do..."

In your case you didn't suspect she was cheating since you said everything was A-OK, however it would be wise to remember that in the near future.

Learn, Get over her, move on!

 

[GirlCrazy]

It's easy to blame someone and call him weak when you are not involved, but to some extent you are right. Sometimes we do lose our heads, so we had better be careful with what we do and not be so impulsive.

Agreed it's always easy to be an armchair quarterback. I'm sure there's more to the story, but any way you slice it, there's no excuse for violating her privacy like that, and no good can ever come from it.

P.s: He was also a victim because she was with another guy. Don't forget that victms make new victims.

He's not a victim until she actually sleeps with the guy. She could have just been messing with his head, or it could be harmless flirting that she had no intention of acting on. That's the danger in jealousy.

If there was enough reason to doubt her in the first place, there was probably enough reason to kick her to the curb, without having to resort to that jealous / possesive behavior. If she cheats, then dump her. If she doesn't, give her the benefit of the doubt.

 

[crowes22]

For the life of me I can't grasp why you confessed this shyt to her. I would have laid low and dumped her ass if it was warranted.

Why did you confess? What were you hoping to gain by doing that?

 

[Brazilian Guy]

Thank you guys for the replyies ,

I came for a Feedback....well.....3 days after no contact...no msg...we got up....actualy she said(txt) that we need to talk about it as sooner as possible..

We met...I was so calm and cold...as the same time with a confident look at my face. As she ssaid we NEEDED to discuss it, I knew that she would be loaded with weapons ...and probably end the relationship. So we talked(I said what I think she did wrong ...) and I was wating her to say that we should be better off apart thing...and just before she finishes the phrase(she was criyng a river) I agreeded with her saying....
" Yeah...this is going to be the best for us ....." she then cried more ...I asked if she wanted to say something more....she didn´t ..I leave then. THATS WHEN I SHOULD DISAPIER FROM HER LIFE... But keep reading...

THe same night ..just as I arrived home...she sms txted me with this:

"I am Here thinking that I don´t wanna break up with you....you are my life!I didn´t have to send that fvck mail anyway....I wonder if you could forgive all this....well I duno what to say "

I didin´t reply... 20 min after she sent another one:

"I guess It´s realy over...you didnt even replyied the msg... well maybe I have more reasons to understand you than the other
way around..im sorry, I wont look for you anymore."


Didn´t reply ether.... so I got to sleep...and I woke up with another sms from her 10:00am ,saying: "I just left my class , im heading to your house "

Mann man man.....I know some of you are going to throw rocks on me .... but fvck it .Im gonna be honnest with you....since the day of the email I couldn´t eat anything ...somoking a cigarrete after another ...feeling that I could have missed the woman that I had always searched for.

Beside all the things she do wrong...she makes me feel so great. She is just the most Beautiful and most inteligent girl I´ve ever had. She is the girl that made me see that I could fall in love again(I had been in love in the past....and after this I thought that I would never feel that way with a girl anymore).
And I know that she loves me...maybe not the in same frequence but enogth to make me satisfied.




So she came at my home , as soon that she started talking she started Crying... she was sorry and willing to forgive me and learn from her mistake.She ever said that Im the only person that she ever thinked of marrige , that she had opportunities to meet her EX and never did. Duno if she fooled me...but I could feel that she was real at her words.

So I forgived her.

In these year of relatinship I´ve cheated her twice...regreted both and didn´t had the urge to do it again since.But Definatly im gonna to be more open to new girls after this.

I think now Im gonna have total control of my jealousy , I can see the tests comming from here ...thanks for the guys who helped me . I´ll take the risc

 

[Brazilian Guy]

Originally posted by crowes22
For the life of me I can't grasp why you confessed this shyt to her. I would have laid low and dumped her ass if it was warranted.

Why did you confess? What were you hoping to gain by doing that?

I confessed becase I wanted to know her reason ...If I didn´t tell her , I would be crazy and probably break up with her ...without letting her know why. and I she had always been honest with me , she can have some problems but she´s not a lier.
And I thought that she would consider in telling the truth to me as confessing it she would see that I was honest besides what I did... cz I could have never tell her about and did what you said.

Man Belive me when I say ...IM NOT A TOTAL AFC , sure I never been a MASTER DJ , but I always did great with most of girls.

But The game changes when you are in a LTR ...especialy with you fell LOVE.

I just wish I didn´t like her this fvcking much!

 

[OneArmDeeJay]

Originally posted by Brazilian Guy

So I forgived her.
In these year of relatinship I´ve cheated her twice...regreted both and didn´t had the urge to do it again since.

WOW!



And you freaked out on her cause she flirted with her Ex via email.

Wow dude! Wheres your head at?

 

[crowes22]

Damn, she indeed does sound like a really cool girl and I think you handled this meeting and the after great. Great work. And I can certainly see you are no AFC!

Are most Brazilian girls that cool? Many Americans work down there?

 

[Brazilian Guy]

Originally posted by OneArmDeeJay
WOW!



And you freaked out on her cause she flirted with her Ex via email.

Wow dude! Wheres your head at?

Well I endeed cheated on her...but she doesn´t know at all ...I freaked because after all...hes not just a new guy in the scene...he is a guy who used to make her ***.

From myself I´ve been in the same situation of hers.Sometime ago I got a msg from my EX (this would be 1 first gf/ first girl that I had an active sexual life)...talking bla bla bla and asking me to go to some show with her. Man that messed up head , I replyied the msg kind of flirting as well , but right after didn´t feel like doing this. I gues it just felt good...knowing that was with a great girl and at the same time having my ex trying to get some of me...it just felt good...but it didn´t felt right...Just wish that the same could happent to her.


To Crowes22 :
thanks man...I know most of the rules...as you said Im no AFC ....Im a DJ with AFC tendences...lol. Guys listen to me , when you feel real love to a woman , it´s realy hard to act/think by your head with logical and racional toghts...it all comes to you heart ....you guys say that is realy bad ... As long as is god for me im solid.

 

[OneArmDeeJay]

Originally posted by Brazilian Guy
Well I endeed cheated on her...but she doesn´t know at all ...I freaked because after all...hes not just a new guy in the scene...he is a guy who used to make her ***.

From myself I´ve been in the same situation of hers.Sometime ago I got a msg from my EX (this would be 1 first gf/ first girl that I had an active sexual life)...talking bla bla bla and asking me to go to some show with her. Man that messed up head , I replyied the msg kind of flirting as well , but right after didn´t feel like doing this. I gues it just felt good...knowing that was with a great girl and at the same time having my ex trying to get some of me...it just felt good...but it didn´t felt right...Just wish that the same could happent to her.


To Crowes22 :
thanks man...I know most of the rules...as you said Im no AFC ....Im a DJ with AFC tendences...lol. Guys listen to me , when you feel real love to a woman , it´s realy hard to act/think by your head with logical and racional toghts...it all comes to you heart ....you guys say that is realy bad ... As long as is god for me im solid.

My man listien to what you are saying...

Originally posted by Brazilian Guy
Well I endeed cheated on her...but she doesn´t know at all ...I freaked because after all...hes not just a new guy in the scene...he is a guy who used to make her ***.

Do you know how farked up your logic and thinking is. Read what you wrote. Man, when I first read this post I thought ok, heres a dude who is insecure about himself and has trust issues, screws up and just needs some help and advice. But now I see it way differently.

You my friend DO NOT deserve her.

She should be cracking your password and checking your emails. She should be phone taping your calls and tracking your where abouts.

Man what a shame......

 

[Blue Phoenix]

Originally posted by OneArmDeeJay
My man listien to what you are saying...

Do you know how farked up your logic and thinking is. Read what you wrote. Man, when I first read this post I thought ok, heres a dude who is insecure about himself and has trust issues, screws up and just needs some help and advice. But now I see it way differently.

You my friend DO NOT deserve her.

Man what a shame......

Some people don't worry when they do bad things to others, but let it happen to him and soon he complains.

Something I would like to understand is how someone who claims to love a girl can cheat on her. That's reasonless to me.

It's not every person who knows the Golden Rule.

 

[Brazilian Guy]

Originally posted by OneArmDeeJay
My man listien to what you are saying...



Do you know how farked up your logic and thinking is. Read what you wrote. Man, when I first read this post I thought ok, heres a dude who is insecure about himself and has trust issues, screws up and just needs some help and advice. But now I see it way differently.

You my friend DO NOT deserve her.

She should be cracking your password and checking your emails. She should be phone taping your calls and tracking your where abouts.

Man what a shame......

Man...she did checked my cellphone once at the begining of the relationship.
And there is a thing that I didn´t said before that can help you guys to understand what I did....

3 Months ago she said to me that she knew someone ...and started to get intrested in this guy....but she told me that In no moment she thought of breaking up with me... she just felt intrested in this guy....but as soon as she realize that it was just a moment and didint wanted to cheat on me of break up ....she confessed to me this , claiming that she was felling dirty. I never know if she kissed this guy...or if he is still trying to get her or even if she still want him in a way. But she told me the truth and I considered her atitude and totaly fogive her.

But since then I have this voice that appears sometimes(usualy when we can´t meet ,or I think that she is distant or sad) saying that if she get intrested in other guy than me once...it sure can happen twice ....and I just fear this..true



--------------------

Originally posted by Blue Phoenix
Some people don't worry when they do bad things to others, but let it happen to him and soon he complains.

Something I would like to understand is how someone who claims to love a girl can cheat on her. That's reasonless to me.

It's not every person who knows the Golden Rule.

Im not trying to justify my act , but when I did it...it was just for the moment ...(realy horny and drunk).But it served to me as a lesson!





Here is a pic of us if anyone is intrested in...

http://fotos.terra.com.br/album.cgi/*957210

cheers!

 

[OneArmDeeJay]

Originally posted by Brazilian Guy
Im not trying to justify my act , but when I did it...it was just for the moment ...(realy horny and drunk).But it served to me as a lesson!

You just did, read what you post before...

Your right Blue Phoenix.

And it’s sad to read this. A guy thinks its all good to cheat but heaven to bid if she does or flirts.

Look this whole relationship that you have is a mess.

Look you can't justify cheating no matter what the reason.

You cheated she cheated you both either need to leave, or let it alone.

Again this whole thing is a mess and one of the reasons is SERIOUS TRUST ISSUES.

You say you’re not an AFC and a real man, but having bad insecurities, trust, issues, and betrayal says otherwise.

 

[So pimp its scary]

You forgave her!!?!?!

Like I said before

To take this girl back, you might as well pull your balls right out of the sack and hang them up to dry because you obviously won't be using them for a long time.

Maybe you like not having balls.

 

[djbr]

this whole thing look a hell lot familiar to me...

oh well, the guy is happy. i will leave it alone.

 

[Don Juanabbe]

Hey Brazilian guy - you sound like you manage your life and your relationships like a woman does!

 

[izza]

A'ight kid. Good luck. Never stop improving yourself.

You're going to have a very short grace period with this girl (since she misses you) then things are going to get a lot worse - that is when you have to build trust and improve yourself or else your relationship will continue to go downhill.

Always strive to be more confident tomorrow than you were today.

Izza

 

[MacDiddy]

BG: What she did was unfaithful to a DJ, but it might not mean much to an AFC since an AFC is prepared to tolerate it and take her back.

Also, I think what she has done is minor compared to some other acts of unfaithfulness, but you handle it all wrong and only manage to jeopardise the long term viability of your relationship. Obviously her act is not very pleasant to bear, but you need to question how you got yourself into this situation where YOUR girl is disrespecting you like this... How did you allow this to happen. She is clearly making sure she has options becoz she is not 100% sure you are the one... I can say that you are deficient and lacking in some departments of being a man, (in the sosuave sense, so don't be too offended) .

Being an AFC or displaying acts of oneitis will surely lose you the girl and I think that taking her back only serves to reward her for her crimes, is an act of AFCishness of the highest order.. So what does this mean??? It means that your current relationship is not viable!!!

 

[djbr]

Originally posted by MacDiddy
Being an AFC or displaying acts of oneitis will surely lose you the girl and I think that taking her back only serves to reward her for her crimes, is an act of AFCishness of the highest order.. So what does this mean??? It means that your current relationship is not viable!!!

you made my point. thanks!