Nota Bene: The following post is written within the context of initial attraction. It does not apply to keeping a girl long term. It is about getting a girl interested in you INITIALLY. After that, you're on your own.
The game isn't the same for all of us. its actually different for each person. But, in the end, its nothing but underlying principles that are common for everyone. I'm going to tell you how I see it right now.
There are two major types of guys out there (with gray areas, of course). Those two types of guys are:
1) Attractive guys, and
2) Unattractive guys
The game is different depending on if you're attractive or unattractive.
When a girl meets an attractive guy, in her mind she's thinking either a tentative "yes," or at least "OK" in terms of dating him. Looks count more than girls let on. But we all know that.
However, when she meets an unattractive guy she's thinking "no. Not gonna happen buddy. sorry. we can be friends. Let me introduce you to my friend Bertha."
So when a good looking guy meets a girl his game is mostly dependent on him not ****ing it up (remember, we're talking initial attraction). As long as he has enough game to not **** it up, he's doing fine.
That's why you hear (attractive) guys say things like, "its ALL about confidence." The only guys who simply being confident works for is attractive guys. If you are unattractive, there's more to it than that. Girls aren't blind. You're not all of a sudden a greek god simply because you project confidence.
A girl isn't going to see some 400 lb behemoth and say, "oh, he's sexy. He's SOOO confident I just want to bang the living crap out of him. I don't care if his weiner doesn't stick out from his body because he has 5 inches of fat covering his groin. I know he's probably got heart conditions, but DAMN I love confident men. That's all that matters to ME" That's not the way these things work, friend.
Good looking guys like to think that the game is a lot more complex for them (initially) than this, but in the end, all they REALLY have to do (in the initial attraction stage, that is) is not **** things up too bad. If you're attractive all you have to do is not change her "yes" to a "no."
Now, she won't just GIVE you her number because you're attractive. You DO have to talk to her and establish rapport. However, if you meet her, get along well, don't come off too AFC, and then say, "hey, I need to get going, so write down your number, and I'll give you a call" then you're doing OK. I'm not saying that women line up in droves to sleep with every single attractive guy, but they don't put up as many road blocks for good looking guys, either.
If you're good looking a girl WANTS to like you. She sees an attractive guy, and WANTS him to be funny and nice and confident and smart and overall a prospective boyfriend. So as long as you project these characteristics even in modest amounts, she'll amplify this in her mind and give you her number.
Now, what if you're an unattractive guy? What if you ARE that 400 lb behemoth? Or you have some sort of serious physical deformity? When she meets you, she's thinking "no" from the get go, right? So there's more to it than just "not ****ing it up." You actually have to CHANGE HER MIND. You have to change her "no" to a "yes" (or at least a "maybe").
So you unattractive guys should ask right now, "what do you do to change her mind?" and I'll tell you. . .
I have no idea.
Really I'm just writing this so you understand that if you're unattractive, and telling yourself, "girls just don't like me because I'm not super confident all the time" or "I need to learn patterns to get a girl" you're lying to yourself (or, at least misinformed). If you are unattractive its not JUST a matter of confidence. I've met plenty of unattractive guys who are confident. Who don't get laid (by the girls they WANT to be laid by, at least). I've also met a lot of attractive guys who don't get laid either. But that's primarily because they either A) don't approach, or B) **** it up
I'm not saying that unattractive guys NEVER get laid, or meet amazing girls and date them. I'm saying that the amount of game required for these unattractive guys is greater than for attractive guys. Girls aren't blind. They prefer attractive guys. No duh.
Now that you know this, it should change the way you interact in the world of dating. If you're overweight (more than just a few pounds, that is), understand that this is working against you. She is not initially physically attracted to you, so you have to have much more game than if you we're more lean.
And there are corollaries for all the other ways you can be unattractive.
So the best thing to do is LESSEN the amount of unattractiveness you have. If you're overweight, go to a gym. If you have acne, clear it up. The more you can lessen your unattractiveness, the less you have to worry about having a lot of game. Which means you're more likely to just be YOU, instead of some game spewing pick-up monster. Which is really what she's going to keep her around AFTER this initial stage anyway.
You still need to have game, but the more attractive you can make yourself, the better off you are.
The game isn't the same for all of us. its actually different for each person. But, in the end, its nothing but underlying principles that are common for everyone. I'm going to tell you how I see it right now.
There are two major types of guys out there (with gray areas, of course). Those two types of guys are:
1) Attractive guys, and
2) Unattractive guys
The game is different depending on if you're attractive or unattractive.
When a girl meets an attractive guy, in her mind she's thinking either a tentative "yes," or at least "OK" in terms of dating him. Looks count more than girls let on. But we all know that.
However, when she meets an unattractive guy she's thinking "no. Not gonna happen buddy. sorry. we can be friends. Let me introduce you to my friend Bertha."
So when a good looking guy meets a girl his game is mostly dependent on him not ****ing it up (remember, we're talking initial attraction). As long as he has enough game to not **** it up, he's doing fine.
That's why you hear (attractive) guys say things like, "its ALL about confidence." The only guys who simply being confident works for is attractive guys. If you are unattractive, there's more to it than that. Girls aren't blind. You're not all of a sudden a greek god simply because you project confidence.
A girl isn't going to see some 400 lb behemoth and say, "oh, he's sexy. He's SOOO confident I just want to bang the living crap out of him. I don't care if his weiner doesn't stick out from his body because he has 5 inches of fat covering his groin. I know he's probably got heart conditions, but DAMN I love confident men. That's all that matters to ME" That's not the way these things work, friend.
Good looking guys like to think that the game is a lot more complex for them (initially) than this, but in the end, all they REALLY have to do (in the initial attraction stage, that is) is not **** things up too bad. If you're attractive all you have to do is not change her "yes" to a "no."
Now, she won't just GIVE you her number because you're attractive. You DO have to talk to her and establish rapport. However, if you meet her, get along well, don't come off too AFC, and then say, "hey, I need to get going, so write down your number, and I'll give you a call" then you're doing OK. I'm not saying that women line up in droves to sleep with every single attractive guy, but they don't put up as many road blocks for good looking guys, either.
If you're good looking a girl WANTS to like you. She sees an attractive guy, and WANTS him to be funny and nice and confident and smart and overall a prospective boyfriend. So as long as you project these characteristics even in modest amounts, she'll amplify this in her mind and give you her number.
Now, what if you're an unattractive guy? What if you ARE that 400 lb behemoth? Or you have some sort of serious physical deformity? When she meets you, she's thinking "no" from the get go, right? So there's more to it than just "not ****ing it up." You actually have to CHANGE HER MIND. You have to change her "no" to a "yes" (or at least a "maybe").
So you unattractive guys should ask right now, "what do you do to change her mind?" and I'll tell you. . .
I have no idea.
Really I'm just writing this so you understand that if you're unattractive, and telling yourself, "girls just don't like me because I'm not super confident all the time" or "I need to learn patterns to get a girl" you're lying to yourself (or, at least misinformed). If you are unattractive its not JUST a matter of confidence. I've met plenty of unattractive guys who are confident. Who don't get laid (by the girls they WANT to be laid by, at least). I've also met a lot of attractive guys who don't get laid either. But that's primarily because they either A) don't approach, or B) **** it up
I'm not saying that unattractive guys NEVER get laid, or meet amazing girls and date them. I'm saying that the amount of game required for these unattractive guys is greater than for attractive guys. Girls aren't blind. They prefer attractive guys. No duh.
Now that you know this, it should change the way you interact in the world of dating. If you're overweight (more than just a few pounds, that is), understand that this is working against you. She is not initially physically attracted to you, so you have to have much more game than if you we're more lean.
And there are corollaries for all the other ways you can be unattractive.
So the best thing to do is LESSEN the amount of unattractiveness you have. If you're overweight, go to a gym. If you have acne, clear it up. The more you can lessen your unattractiveness, the less you have to worry about having a lot of game. Which means you're more likely to just be YOU, instead of some game spewing pick-up monster. Which is really what she's going to keep her around AFTER this initial stage anyway.
You still need to have game, but the more attractive you can make yourself, the better off you are.