We all value a very nice ideal which has been put into words by many cool posters on this place. Alot of persons have taken this to be the goal of their life and so the "that's AFC/DJ" was born. We reach for an ideal and try to avoid being AFC. That's all good.
I want to tell you about another route which you can take. Let's say we let the terms afc and DJ die for a while and focus on our emotions. What do you feel you want to do? Do you hold back because you are afraid to be AFC?
In my life I have learnt one very important thing, which is I must fail and do the wrong stuff to learn and get motivation to improve. This is exactly what everyone need to do. But people are afraid to be labelled something bad in other peoples eyes. Let say you haven't had a girlfriend in your life and now suddenly you find a girl you like but in an oneitis way and you get together and you do something very very wrong like kissing up to her and being ultra weak. People here may say "That's bad! NEXT! Get a grip!".
I say continue to do it if it feels right, when it goes bad you will know why it went bad and you will get WISDOM out off it. The more you feel like **** the more you will realize you need to change.
Let's take me as an example on this. I constantly thought that looks didn't matter and I could trick my way into womens heart. I failed miserbly, I felt like **** and all that. Then suddenly I realized I needed to change my exterior, I started to work out like possessed. It gave me great results because I had deep motivation for it. Now I have no problem any longer in that department.
It's the same with all aspects of life, you need to do wrong to do right. Some are so afraid about becoming AFC so they do not know what to do, they fail because they are paralyzed and have no way to go. It's the opposite spectrum of AFCness. People who sit down and think they know all, who critique all relationships yet they do not know what to do themselves. I think there is some point in failure when people really have had enough, they cannot take it anymore, they snap and get that do or die motivation.
I say follow your heart, if you feel like you want to do something then do it. When it goes wrong enough times you will get an unbending motivation to change. It's not AFC to behave like one, it's how you learn, however it's afc if you do not realize there is a problem with what you do or if you realize and do nothing about it.
That's my point, AFC Is a person unwilling to change, DJ is a person who are willing to change. No other thing is DJ or AFC IMO. So don't be afraid to do wrong stuff or AFC stuff just because someone say it's wrong. Give them the finger and do whatever you want. It's all good as long as you have a motivation to change. No one can keep changing to the good without falling back or hitting a plateau at some point, it's natural and will give more motivation to keep going.
I want to tell you about another route which you can take. Let's say we let the terms afc and DJ die for a while and focus on our emotions. What do you feel you want to do? Do you hold back because you are afraid to be AFC?
In my life I have learnt one very important thing, which is I must fail and do the wrong stuff to learn and get motivation to improve. This is exactly what everyone need to do. But people are afraid to be labelled something bad in other peoples eyes. Let say you haven't had a girlfriend in your life and now suddenly you find a girl you like but in an oneitis way and you get together and you do something very very wrong like kissing up to her and being ultra weak. People here may say "That's bad! NEXT! Get a grip!".
I say continue to do it if it feels right, when it goes bad you will know why it went bad and you will get WISDOM out off it. The more you feel like **** the more you will realize you need to change.
Let's take me as an example on this. I constantly thought that looks didn't matter and I could trick my way into womens heart. I failed miserbly, I felt like **** and all that. Then suddenly I realized I needed to change my exterior, I started to work out like possessed. It gave me great results because I had deep motivation for it. Now I have no problem any longer in that department.
It's the same with all aspects of life, you need to do wrong to do right. Some are so afraid about becoming AFC so they do not know what to do, they fail because they are paralyzed and have no way to go. It's the opposite spectrum of AFCness. People who sit down and think they know all, who critique all relationships yet they do not know what to do themselves. I think there is some point in failure when people really have had enough, they cannot take it anymore, they snap and get that do or die motivation.
I say follow your heart, if you feel like you want to do something then do it. When it goes wrong enough times you will get an unbending motivation to change. It's not AFC to behave like one, it's how you learn, however it's afc if you do not realize there is a problem with what you do or if you realize and do nothing about it.
That's my point, AFC Is a person unwilling to change, DJ is a person who are willing to change. No other thing is DJ or AFC IMO. So don't be afraid to do wrong stuff or AFC stuff just because someone say it's wrong. Give them the finger and do whatever you want. It's all good as long as you have a motivation to change. No one can keep changing to the good without falling back or hitting a plateau at some point, it's natural and will give more motivation to keep going.
