flaky sms answers?

[el_perezoso]

Hi all,

There's a girl I've known for a few years now, and whom I've pretty much fancied since we met. She had a boyfriend at the time, and then afterwards I had a girlfriend, so I never really chased her proactively, though we've hung out on a few occasions for beers and stuff like that. For the record, though, there have been a few times where I got the feeling that she was kind of brushing me off, though I was careful to play it cool, and we've gone months without talking afterwards. I never brought up things like "I like you" or the topic of us dating, I always went for the friends angle with her, precisely because I like her. I was determined not to burn any bridges by blowing up her phone or turning into a little *****, as per the lessons I've learned on this site

Anyways, my girlfriend and I broke up a few weeks ago and, since she's single as well, I feel as though it's time to make a move with this girl (let's call her Helga).

I hung out with Helga last Friday, just a casual thing at a local bar, determined to play it slow and cool. I got a good impression following the end of the evening, and I waited until yesterday to message her again to see if she wanted to hang out next week, and when she was free. She took over a day to answer, and hit me late today with a "sorry I had fallen asleep, not too sure I'll get back to you" answer, which kind of smelled of B.S. to me. Basically, I want to know how you guys deal with these kinds of answers.

I want this girl very much, though not at any cost. Obviously I'm looking for a suave or clever answer to get the desired effect, but I don't want to simply say "OK" and have her never get back to me, it feels to me kind of like an overly-nice guy move. What kind of answer would you guys give in such situations?

 

[Pimp-sicle]

I always went for the friends angle with her, precisely because I like her.

So you like her, but your shying away from acting like a man who knows what he wants? Losing strategy.

I was determined not to burn any bridges by blowing up her phone or turning into a little *****, as per the lessons I've learned on this site

Your operating from an inferior position; a position of fear. You've sub-conciously put her on a pedestal for no reason, she hasn't shown you one thing to show she's a great catch. There are tons of pretty faced girls out there, find one that works for your attention instead of the other way around. And to do that you need to qualify your prospects.

let's call her Helga

Never call any girl Helga! I picture a gigantic obese fattie when I hear that name! haha

I hung out with Helga last Friday, just a casual thing at a local bar, determined to play it slow and cool.

Your mindset is all wrong. You don't play it slow & cool. When you get a girl out on a 1 on 1 date, you bring her into your world, tease her, qualify her, escalate attraction and either close or move closer to closing. Playing it safe is the fast track to the friend-zone.

I got a good impression following the end of the evening, and I waited until yesterday to message her again to see if she wanted to hang out next week, and when she was free.

You'll probably get some KJ jockies who reply telling you that you contacted her too soon.

But the real problem was you didn't escalate any feelings of attraction on the 1 on 1 date. And contacting her the next day and asking for another date so quickly makes you look a little desperate. Now if she liked you a lot, she would have likely accepted.

You want to let a girl's emotions run wild a bit, esp after a good date. She will be anticipating when your next call will be.

She took over a day to answer, and hit me late today with a "sorry I had fallen asleep, not too sure I'll get back to you" answer, which kind of smelled of B.S. to me.

This is the first time in your whole post that your actually thinking logically about her, rather than putting her on a pedestal.

If you text her late at night and she got back to you the following morning, that's one thing. But if you text her in the middle of day and she took almost 24 hours to get back to you = low interest.

I want this girl very much

That's your problem. Not only does she know this, there's no attraction (sparks) and or mystery about you. Your a puzzle that she has solved too quickly and now like a child, she's bored and waiting for the next toy that excites her and holds her interest.

Obviously I'm looking for a suave or clever answer to get the desired effect, but I don't want to simply say "OK" and have her never get back to me

Your giving the reply too much emphasis; you should've put this energy into the actual date and a reply to a text would be your last thought.

No matter what you say she will likely NOT get back to you because she's not interested.

it feels to me kind of like an overly-nice guy move.

Another thing its too late to think about.

Its ironic that your just now concerned with coming off as a nice-guy; when that's all you have been this entire time.

In summary you didn't create any attraction on the date, and her lame duck long response to your text confirms this.

So your reply to this text in all reality doesn't matter at all.

If you want any chance @turning this around, NO RESPONSE would be the best thing to do. Disappear for 3-5 days, then hit her up again and be a man. That MIGHT get her curious and get her interest up somewhat.


In the meantime, meet more girls!







PIMP

 

[supadocnz]

She took over a day to answer, and hit me late today with a "sorry I had fallen asleep, not too sure I'll get back to you" answer

This was not a flake. A flake is when the girl has agreed to meeting and then cancel or not show.

This was a brush-off. The interest level in a brush-off is most of the time even lower than a flake...

Options: somehow increase her interest level, or give up. I have a feeling giving up is a better option...

 

[el_perezoso]

fair enough, appreciate the honest and blunt feedback, and supadocnz, i'll take your advice and leave her for a while...to be honest, i do have other prospects, and this is a pretty exciting time in my life outside of girls and macking so i`m positive new opportunities will be forthcoming.

but having known her for a while, i kind of feel like giving it one more shot, next week, at least so i can close that file, so to speak definitely gonna be more straight-up about what it is, fed up with strategizing and beating around the bush.

So you like her, but your shying away from acting like a man who knows what he wants? Losing strategy.

honestly though, like most guys, i've been friendzoned before, and I figured that if i was the one showing the intent to friendzone it would somehow do some reverse-psychology sh*t on this girl and drive her crazy hehe. Still so much to learn, but i guess the advantage of my young age is that I get to fail relatively guilt-free