First Date Can’t Tell If She’s Into Me

[twoface262]

So I met this girl on OLD. Moved to texting after a short exchange and we set up our first date. We didn’t talk at all but maybe a Snapchat once/twice a day. It was hard to tell if she was receptive and I figured she’d end up blowing off the first date. However, the day of the date she randomly texts me (after no response that day or the day before) and we go.

The date goes EXTREMELY well. We talked for over three hours and got along extremely well.

At the end of the date I set up the next date but the day is TBD due to her work schedule needing to be updated — she said she’d let me know but wanted another date. However, since that first date she’s gone back into the passive stage.

Is this something women do to seem like they’re not interested, or should I assume she’s genuinely not interested and move on?

 

[BackInTheGame78]

You should learn your role as a man and take the lead and stop expecting the woman to play a man's role. Not attractive at all.

 

[twoface262]

You should learn your role as a man and take the lead and stop expecting the woman to play a man's role. Not attractive at all.

I am confused. Where am I not taking lead? Should I tell her to f*ck her job and make time for me?

Im not going to sit and beg for a woman’s attention. If she’s not interested then it’s on to the next. I’m confused on how to tell when it’s time to move on though?

 

[Black Widow Void]

You should learn your role as a man and take the lead and stop expecting the woman to play a man's role. Not attractive at all.

Translation to the above quote: I feel inadequate as a man and to feel a sense of self-worth, I will send a veiled insult to a newer forum member in hopes to feel better about myself.

Well, OP? Things could be worse. You could be spending too much time on here and making postings similar to BackInTheGame78.

Glad to read that your date went well. This is an important part of the date. Make sure you do something that signifies that it's a date and not just two people getting antiquated as "friends." In other words, touch her arm, her shoulder (if walking somewhere) .. basically anything that isn't typical of two friends.

At a minimum, you should try to close with a kiss. It might get rejected or it might not. Even if rejected, you've shown up demonstrated that you met her for a date (and not just a possible friendship).

Women are difficult creatures to figure out. This can be time consuming if we men allow it. Truth be known.. they become better company (and are actually happier with themselves) when they follow - rather than lead.

Her being "passive" isn't a bad thing. Sounds like she's willingly giving you the the drivers seat. Although women can be difficult to figure out, it's best to not be reliant on her to do the "driving."

Give her a few days and next time, invite her out and do so without the statement ending in a question mark. Instead, keep it brief: something like.. "hey, I'm planning to do ______ (insert what ever) and you should join me. It'll be fun. "

 

[Glassguy]

Never make the next date while on a date. You were too available and provided no mystery or anxiety for her.

I've had tons of women try to set up another date while on a date with them. I never confirm anything. I always say I'll check my schedule and let them know. Then wait a couple of days without mentioning it again.

 

[EyeOnThePrize]

So I met this girl on OLD. Moved to texting after a short exchange and we set up our first date. We didn’t talk at all but maybe a Snapchat once/twice a day. It was hard to tell if she was receptive and I figured she’d end up blowing off the first date. However, the day of the date she randomly texts me (after no response that day or the day before) and we go.

The date goes EXTREMELY well. We talked for over three hours and got along extremely well.

At the end of the date I set up the next date but the day is TBD due to her work schedule needing to be updated — she said she’d let me know but wanted another date. However, since that first date she’s gone back into the passive stage.

Is this something women do to seem like they’re not interested, or should I assume she’s genuinely not interested and move on?

if the date went well she would have easily agreed on another date and made time for you. if it had gone 'EXTREMELY well' she would have sucked you off for hours and begged you to bang her brains out. you would have no doubts because she would be worshiping you and you wouldn't be posting this thread.

she's playing hot/cold because you're allowing it, because she knows you'll put up with it. a woman that's interested and senses that you don't BS will not dare try hot/cold stuff, she'll always make it very easy to see her and spend time together.

on OLD personally i avoid any hot/cold BS, i really don't have time for women that are trying to play me for attention/validation/whatever. it's funny because women know exactly what they're doing. if you don't play into their hot/cold games for attention they disappear and move on to the next prospective cuck(and that's all they'll attract). some will cut the BS and get super sexual/seductive, and some will be super seductive/no BS from the start. my goals may be different than yours but i give my time exclusively to these last two groups.

on your date learn to escalate. escalate verbally, watch if she's receptive. if she is then escalate to touch. mix play, touch, and words as if you're concocting spells. if she continues to be receptive get bolder and bolder with your spells until she's putty in your hands. then fulfill her wildest dreams by banging her brains out.

women become putty by me just being myself, so it feels effortless, and sometimes i'll keep them as putty indefinitely and never bang them. sometimes i'll bang them so they stop pestering me with obvious IOIs.

the game of concocting spells and all interactions with a girl you're on a date with should be fun. if you're not having fun then what are you doing?

do you see the difference between our mindsets?

 

[bcude]

I never set up the next date during a date either but i hint of a future and put future projections in her head of fun things we could be doing. This can help sometimes if she's afraid that you're only after a ONS, but i genuinely mean what i say and enjoy her company if i say so.

Something @RangerMIke once said rings true here.
Eventhough you both genuinely felt that the date went great she has to check in with her circle of girlfriends/mother after the date to tell them how everything went with this guy she met. They will then digest the information and break it down into details, something like this: "oh he sounds amazing, like a true romantic but wait he said he's a fisherman and drives a blue chevy?" well Lisa do you remember your former ex did the same and he started to abuse you after 2 beers, i don't know about this... i'm not sure he's good for you..
Since women very much listen to their 'herd' this can sometimes shoot you in the foot and her initial enthusiasm can turn into her fading away from you.

That said i wouldn't read too much into it and i don't think that's the case in this situation since she was the same before you met her. She knows your intentions and told you she will let you know, which she will if she's interested, so just sit back and let her get back to you. It's one thing to be just overall passive and let the man lead, another to decline a suggestion and tell him to get back. The ball is in her corner. You'll notice by her actions.

 

[teacha]

Never make the next date while on a date. You were too available and provided no mystery or anxiety for her.

I've had tons of women try to set up another date while on a date with them. I never confirm anything. I always say I'll check my schedule and let them know. Then wait a couple of days without mentioning it again.

This^^^

by the way if a woman is sending you mixed signals she’s not into you.

 

[AttackFormation]

You should learn your role as a man and take the lead and stop expecting the woman to play a man's role. Not attractive at all.

Why is this piece of shyt not banned yet? for fvck sake, he offers zero useful input, just scathing insults in every thread.

 

[AttackFormation]

So I met this girl on OLD. Moved to texting after a short exchange and we set up our first date. We didn’t talk at all but maybe a Snapchat once/twice a day. It was hard to tell if she was receptive and I figured she’d end up blowing off the first date. However, the day of the date she randomly texts me (after no response that day or the day before) and we go.

The date goes EXTREMELY well. We talked for over three hours and got along extremely well.

At the end of the date I set up the next date but the day is TBD due to her work schedule needing to be updated — she said she’d let me know but wanted another date. However, since that first date she’s gone back into the passive stage.

I can only give my personal take...

I would never consider a date as having "gone well", let alone "extremely well", because it doesn't matter what you think. It only matters what she thinks and what she feels like doing from whim to whim. This is related to why in my experience I also recommend to expect women to flake, which you do already seem to be doing to some extent.

Is this something women do to seem like they’re not interested, or should I assume she’s genuinely not interested and move on?

I decided a while back to purposely eliminate any guessing games about women like this. Now I intentionally only consider two things: the superficial behavior, and whether I'm acting in self-respect or not (women/people can't respect men who don't respect themselves, and without feeling respect women can't feel desire either). Is she responding in full sentences and following up or not, did she set up a meeting or not, did she flake or not, did she want me to escalate or not - those are the only kinds of things I concern myself with. I don't want to care about whether she might or might not "really" be meaning this or that.

I also think it's debatable whether her being turned off by you talking about a second date at the end of the first date is something you should concern yourself with or not. A woman who actually wants you would neither be turned off by this nor require any overthinking from you about trivial details (hence my above paragraph). So if she was "turned off" by a trivial detail like this, it just means she didn't really desire you anyway. However, you might also argue that it doesn't matter whether she actually wants you, you just want to optimize whether and how quickly she has sex with you. That's a totally fine approach too if it works for you, and Glassguy for example is leading along that approach.

 

[Tilex]

You two haven't had sex yet right?
I wouldn't take her seriously at all if I were you.

Until sex actually happens, you're stuck in the sh!t testing and game playing stage.
You can't take anything she says seriously until she's willing to get butt naked for you.

 

[AttackFormation]

Women are difficult creatures to figure out. This can be time consuming if we men allow it.

I agreed with your post except the first sentence here, but assuming one thinks it's difficult then the second sentence at least does become true.

I think women are only as difficult to figure out as men make them to be. Like dropping something on the ground where you stand, and then running around all over the place assuming you must have dropped it somewhere far off before you go back and realize it was right next to where you stood all along but you didn't shift your gaze to see it, I think women are only "difficult to figure out" because the simple solutions that are hiding in plain sight right there are overlooked for a false assumption that women must be "hard to figure out". I say that the perspectives to "figure out" women with are themselves very simple and easy, but we make them hard to reach because of our own neurosis.

I have two lynchpins for understanding women off the top of my head:

#1) See and manage her emotions, not her words. Women basically want to feel four things: that you are hot, that you respect yourself so she can feel respect for you which is necessary for her to feel desire for you (crucial), emotional excitement which is not the same as clown-like entertainment, and that you are sexually assertive and dare to tell her what you think about her and touch her.

#2) Avoid microanalyzing both her and your own behavior to "optimize" trivial details, just focus on being and doing what you feel like. It's your own inhibition and overthinking that sets you back. If she was turned off because you texted too soon, or because you talked about a second date at the end of the first instead of waiting, or because you like the wrong flavor of ice cream.... agonizing over these trivia for pvssy isn't worth the cost to your peace of mind and won't even matter in many cases anyway and especially not with women who actually want you. Not everything is in your control nor would you want to try to control everything, just accept that she does or doesn't want you and move on. If you have #1 down, you are already doing your part.

That's about it.... you can fit that into a guy's pocket note like a little field manual he can rehearse when he needs to.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Why is this piece of shyt not banned yet? for fvck sake, he offers zero useful input, just scathing insults in every thread.

Apparently nearly 800 times people thought that wasn't the case...

 

[EyeOnThePrize]

@twoface262
although others are mentioning that you were too available, faking being not available enough will only push you on to the next mistake that comes with a lack of self respect. fix that and providing an air of mystery and escalation will come naturally.

 

[Ohso-Phresh]

So I met this girl on OLD. Moved to texting after a short exchange and we set up our first date. We didn’t talk at all but maybe a Snapchat once/twice a day. It was hard to tell if she was receptive and I figured she’d end up blowing off the first date. However, the day of the date she randomly texts me (after no response that day or the day before) and we go.

The date goes EXTREMELY well. We talked for over three hours and got along extremely well.

At the end of the date I set up the next date but the day is TBD due to her work schedule needing to be updated — she said she’d let me know but wanted another date. However, since that first date she’s gone back into the passive stage.

Is this something women do to seem like they’re not interested, or should I assume she’s genuinely not interested and move on?

What did you do on your first date?

Did you escalate physically in any way from no contact?

 

[BaldandBrazy88]

B

Translation to the above quote: I feel inadequate as a man and to feel a sense of self-worth, I will send a veiled insult to a newer forum member in hopes to feel better about myself.

Well, OP? Things could be worse. You could be spending too much time on here and making postings similar to BackInTheGame78.

Glad to read that your date went well. This is an important part of the date. Make sure you do something that signifies that it's a date and not just two people getting antiquated as "friends." In other words, touch her arm, her shoulder (if walking somewhere) .. basically anything that isn't typical of two friends.

At a minimum, you should try to close with a kiss. It might get rejected or it might not. Even if rejected, you've shown up demonstrated that you met her for a date (and not just a possible friendship).

Women are difficult creatures to figure out. This can be time consuming if we men allow it. Truth be known.. they become better company (and are actually happier with themselves) when they follow - rather than lead.

Her being "passive" isn't a bad thing. Sounds like she's willingly giving you the the drivers seat. Although women can be difficult to figure out, it's best to not be reliant on her to do the "driving."

Give her a few days and next time, invite her out and do so without the statement ending in a question mark. Instead, keep it brief: something like.. "hey, I'm planning to do ______ (insert what ever) and you should join me. It'll be fun. "

Big UPS for this man. Salute

 

[BaldandBrazy88]

So I met this girl on OLD. Moved to texting after a short exchange and we set up our first date. We didn’t talk at all but maybe a Snapchat once/twice a day. It was hard to tell if she was receptive and I figured she’d end up blowing off the first date. However, the day of the date she randomly texts me (after no response that day or the day before) and we go.

The date goes EXTREMELY well. We talked for over three hours and got along extremely well.

At the end of the date I set up the next date but the day is TBD due to her work schedule needing to be updated — she said she’d let me know but wanted another date. However, since that first date she’s gone back into the passive stage.

Is this something women do to seem like they’re not interested, or should I assume she’s genuinely not interested and move on?

Here s something to keep in mind my friend. Women fell in love with uncertainty. You ALREADY setting up a date with out her even getting out your car, let her know she got you already. Keep in mind, she has to meet your standards as well( as a high value men, or aspiring to become one) you should not let yourself being won that easy. You already let her know she can have you whenever she wants

 

[LuksSkywalker]

Eventhough you both genuinely felt that the date went great she has to check in with her circle of girlfriends/mother after the date to tell them how everything went with this guy she met. They will then digest the information and break it down into details, something like this: "oh he sounds amazing, like a true romantic but wait he said he's a fisherman and drives a blue chevy?" well Lisa do you remember your former ex did the same and he started to abuse you after 2 beers, i don't know about this... i'm not sure he's good for you..
Since women very much listen to their 'herd' this can sometimes shoot you in the foot and her initial enthusiasm can turn into her fading away from you.

I know what I'm about to say is already a known fact but I have to say it anyway.
WOMEN ARE WOMAN'S WORST FRIENDS.
They always try to find a problem to every solution. They'll pretend to be best friends, but talk about each other behind one's back and wishing each other failure so they can be happy with their life.
Point is, if your girl is insecure, your next date is not depending on her but on how much her "friends" stuff her brain with BS.

 

[JohnChops]

Translation to the above quote: I feel inadequate as a man and to feel a sense of self-worth, I will send a veiled insult to a newer forum member in hopes to feel better about myself.

Well, OP? Things could be worse. You could be spending too much time on here and making postings similar to BackInTheGame78.

Glad to read that your date went well. This is an important part of the date. Make sure you do something that signifies that it's a date and not just two people getting antiquated as "friends." In other words, touch her arm, her shoulder (if walking somewhere) .. basically anything that isn't typical of two friends.

At a minimum, you should try to close with a kiss. It might get rejected or it might not. Even if rejected, you've shown up demonstrated that you met her for a date (and not just a possible friendship).

Women are difficult creatures to figure out. This can be time consuming if we men allow it. Truth be known.. they become better company (and are actually happier with themselves) when they follow - rather than lead.

Her being "passive" isn't a bad thing. Sounds like she's willingly giving you the the drivers seat. Although women can be difficult to figure out, it's best to not be reliant on her to do the "driving."

Give her a few days and next time, invite her out and do so without the statement ending in a question mark. Instead, keep it brief: something like.. "hey, I'm planning to do ______ (insert what ever) and you should join me. It'll be fun. "

Kiss close wouldve been the way to go, esp. since you thought the date went well. It doesn't matter what she says, if shes feeling you and lets you move in for a kiss, then youre on the right track OP

 

[Georgepithyou]

If you have to ask, you already know the answer