Female Iowa fan: "drunken, adulterous bathroom sex at football game ruined my life"

[bukowski_merit]

The primative part would get turned on but the other part is in control.

The "other part" you speak of is the logical side. Logic is learned; hence, unnatural. Through the state and church we are conditioned to be "good" humans. Or at least to act as ones on the outside. This ensures that the world is not in total chaos; but it leaves most people with a brain full of desires they can't understand.

A woman in a happier relationship wouldn't need to find happiness else where. There would also be more to lose for her.

Happiness is one emotion she needs to feel. But her only feeling that - will have her get bored just as much as if you made her feel sad all the time. The emotion she feels is unimportant; what's important is the level of intensity she feels it. And in order for the intensity to stay at a high level - the emotion itself must be changed constantly.

I believe that people cheat because it's becoming normal due to the media. It's all over the media and the more people see this the more it becomes part of their reality. Thats why I choose not to think about it too much. It won't become normal to me.

in the history of man - monogamy is one of the newer concepts dreamed up by religious leaders trying to gain more control (over chaos). cheating is not "becoming" normal due to media. It has been the norm over the history of man, and staying "faithful" is but a speck of dirt on the time line of humans; a sand particle on an endless beach of history.

I had an experiance in the summer of dating a girl who was seeing a married man. I thought she'd leave him but didn't. He's a millionaire. She convinced herself that she wasn't cheating just because we didn't kiss. I tried to tell her otherwise but she wouldn't listen. After that I learned to never get involved with a person in a relationship again. The irony is that the millionaire guy who was cheating on his wife was being cheated on by the girl. He was always checking her phone too etc. A perfect example of the law of attraction. He became a cheat and attracted a cheat. Like attracts like.

quite strange because the girl i'm seeing is engaged to a millionaire. and he does all the work (takes her on expensive trips, buys her all the expensive clothes she likes, takes her out to restaurants and builds up $900 tabs, etc) and i reap all the benefits (endless hours of pleasure).
we do kiss however, she even tells me she loves me from time to time (normally when i have her in that continuous orgasmic state).
likes attract likes though? the problem in their relationship is the exact opposite of that. he was a virgin before her and has never been with another woman. she on the other hand - has been having sex since 13, and has had many partners. he's always felt insecure about this; and has always degraded her for that. i on the other hand - do not judge her or care what she does. he lives a life full of worry and pain. i live a life full of no worry and pleasure. this is a far more simpler model than attempting to keep a girl faithful. That takes WAYYYYY more work, and if you're going to rely on being "high quality" as your sole way to make sure woman don't cheat on you - good luck.

 

[bukowski_merit]

yeah exactly.... you phrased it best. We aren't robots or animals. humans aren't "hard wired" to take action against our will. sure, we have reflexes like recoiling when we touch a hot stove, but there's no hard wired, undefeatable inner instinct that FORCES women to cheat. and it's not as if there was any proof of this anyway - and having fvcked many married women is not proof. i don't see why you'd want to go through life with this mindset anyway. i think it's kind of messed up how everyone here seems to look down on women.

i like the animals/robots thing... but robots and animals are exact opposites! we are indeed in between the two extremes. you more or less must decide which side you want to be closer to. I feel more at home closer to the animalistic/natural side (all emotion - no logic). you may feel more at home closer to the robotic/unnatural side (all logic - no emotion). living under a set system of beliefs and rules - is robotic. living outside of set rules and beliefs - is animal like. it of course would be impossible to be either 100%. but we tend to lean towards one side. i'd say absolute evil people are very close to being complete animals (savages). i'd say extremely religious people are very close to being complete robots (do as the preacher/bible says).

i don't look down on women at all... in fact - i lift them up and give them something they rarely get from any man... non-judgment.

 

[diggitydoggz]

what i meant by the animal/robot comparison was that animals and robots are typically guided by a set of rules/instincts that they CANNOT escape. animals and robots do not have the free will that humans do. that's why even if jessica alba got naked and grabbed their crotch, theres some men out there that are faithful enough to their wives not to cheat. can you really say that ANY man would cheat? people can control their actions. we can control our desires. people always have a choice in what they do. that's why the wife in the op's post is to blame. it was her choice to have sex with the man - it was under her control.

 

[bukowski_merit]

what i meant by the animal/robot comparison was that animals and robots are typically guided by a set of rules/instincts that they CANNOT escape. animals and robots do not have the free will that humans do. that's why even if jessica alba got naked and grabbed their crotch, theres some men out there that are faithful enough to their wives not to cheat. can you really say that ANY man would cheat? people can control their actions. we can control our desires. people always have a choice in what they do. that's why the wife in the op's post is to blame. it was her choice to have sex with the man - it was under her control.

animals have MORE free will than humans do. humans are capable of having more free will, but are held back too much by logic. robots have NO free will. humans are capable of having no free will, but are blessed with the gift of emotion.

if jessica alba got naked in front of me and grabbed my crotch - i probably would be turned off... something in my social conditioning has made me not like it when a woman doesn't make me work for it (i literally will not be able to get hard)... but if she took her time, and we let the attraction bubble over - i would... and i think everyone has that emotional trigger in them that can get them to do anything... in fact, anyone can be brainwashed into doing anything, no matter how strong their moral fiber is... brainwashing is achieved by rewiring the brain... this is done by having the person react to triggers through placing painful results by reacting in any other way (they learn to react one way or get punished)... if you can get inside a womans emotional trigger system and figure out just what to remove from her beliefs and how to do it in order to get into her pants - then you more or less can control her. strong morals christian woman or a complete hor... it doesn't matter - if you know how to get into their wiring - you can control them.

i am not saying i endorse that... it's quite evil to manipulate a woman into cheating with you... but it's done all the time... and women manipulate men into cheating with them too...

 

[slaog]

The "other part" you speak of is the logical side. Logic is learned; hence, unnatural. Through the state and church we are conditioned to be "good" humans. Or at least to act as ones on the outside. This ensures that the world is not in total chaos; but it leaves most people with a brain full of desires they can't understand.

Yeah logic is learned. Thats a part of nature too which makes it natural.

in the history of man - monogamy is one of the newer concepts dreamed up by religious leaders trying to gain more control (over chaos). cheating is not "becoming" normal due to media. It has been the norm over the history of man, and staying "faithful" is but a speck of dirt on the time line of humans; a sand particle on an endless beach of history.

Theres no evidence to suggest that monogamy is not natural.


Because humans are social creatures monogamy is important. In every society there are rules. These days the rules of bahaviour for men and women are less defined. Thats why men are turning into AFC's these days. In the past monogamy was always there too.


There was less cheating in the past because people were happier/content from within. They didn't need to cheat just to get a quick thrill either. Thats why I'm saying unhappy women are far more likely to cheat. Women who have low self esteem and need outside drama to feel wanted or something.

quite strange because the girl i'm seeing is engaged to a millionaire. and he does all the work (takes her on expensive trips, buys her all the expensive clothes she likes, takes her out to restaurants and builds up $900 tabs, etc) and i reap all the benefits (endless hours of pleasure).
we do kiss however, she even tells me she loves me from time to time (normally when i have her in that continuous orgasmic state).
likes attract likes though? the problem in their relationship is the exact opposite of that. he was a virgin before her and has never been with another woman. she on the other hand - has been having sex since 13, and has had many partners. he's always felt insecure about this; and has always degraded her for that. i on the other hand - do not judge her or care what she does. he lives a life full of worry and pain. i live a life full of no worry and pleasure. this is a far more simpler model than attempting to keep a girl faithful. That takes WAYYYYY more work, and if you're going to rely on being "high quality" as your sole way to make sure woman don't cheat on you - good luck.

When I said like attracts like I ment it differently. He is a worrier like you said and he attracts a girl that makes him worry more. She thinks a rich man should look after her and it's ok to cheat. Thats what she gets in her life while she gives him reason to worry even more. Lesson here is not to worry either way.

 

[slaog]

i like the animals/robots thing... but robots and animals are exact opposites! we are indeed in between the two extremes. you more or less must decide which side you want to be closer to. I feel more at home closer to the animalistic/natural side (all emotion - no logic). you may feel more at home closer to the robotic/unnatural side (all logic - no emotion). living under a set system of beliefs and rules - is robotic. living outside of set rules and beliefs - is animal like. it of course would be impossible to be either 100%. but we tend to lean towards one side. i'd say absolute evil people are very close to being complete animals (savages). i'd say extremely religious people are very close to being complete robots (do as the preacher/bible says).

i don't look down on women at all... in fact - i lift them up and give them something they rarely get from any man... non-judgment.

There is a spiritual side of life too. Some don't believe in that but thats ok. I do. Religious people are not spiritual in many cases. They just follow rules so yes they are like robots in that sense.


There's 2 types of extremes: Type 1 are people who love themselves. Not in a ****y false way but really love themselves eg Jesus Christ. Type 2 are people who have low self esteem and hate themselves.


Type 1: If you really love yourself you'll have greater love for others. If you love yourself you won't need others either but they'll be attracted to you. If you love yourself you will not cheat on others. Not only will you have greater respect for them but also you won't need to look for that quick thrill.

Type 2: If you hate yourself and have low self esteem you certainly won't be capable of loving others. You'll be more selfish and always thinking of yourself. You'll see people as being just pieces of meat that are there to be used for your benefit. Cheating will be fun because YOU get some sex.


They're extreme examples and most people are somewhere in between. Think of it as a scale. People lower down the scale will more likely cheat. DJ's are higher up the scale, AFC's lower down it too.

 

[gruby]

slaog, what bothers me is your simplistic view of the world. You seem to create a view of the world and then simply twists facts, figures, observations, even logic for the world to fit your views. Don't get too offended because i used to be like you, still at some point i realized how much easier (and truthful) it is to take the world for what it is. rather then for what i want it to be.

While bukowski provides some facts/ personal experiences, statistics you only manage to see to the end of the door of your 150 people church (dramatic over-simplification). Trust me there is a bigger world out there. Maybe indeed women in your tiny church don't cheat but only because there is noone to cheat with. Bukowski's statistics were just that - statistics -- meaning it provided mathematical reflection of where the society stand at this moment (society at large and not only where you are). It shows that over 50% do cheat, so just because people in your community don't get a chance doesn't mean they don't have the capability.

 

[slaog]

slaog, what bothers me is your simplistic view of the world. You seem to create a view of the world and then simply twists facts, figures, observations, even logic for the world to fit your views. Don't get too offended because i used to be like you, still at some point i realized how much easier (and truthful) it is to take the world for what it is. rather then for what i want it to be.

While bukowski provides some facts/ personal experiences, statistics you only manage to see to the end of the door of your 150 people church (dramatic over-simplification). Trust me there is a bigger world out there. Maybe indeed women in your tiny church don't cheat but only because there is noone to cheat with. Bukowski's statistics were just that - statistics -- meaning it provided mathematical reflection of where the society stand at this moment (society at large and not only where you are). It shows that over 50% do cheat, so just because people in your community don't get a chance doesn't mean they don't have the capability.

Yeah I always try to simplify things. No, I don't twist things to suit my own world view. I look things from a different angle because we live in a multilayered world.


The problem with AFC's on this site is that they overcomplicate things. The more you learn the simpler everything becomes.


No I'm not offended at all so don't worry about that. We're all just debating.


Regarding the cheating stats I questioned were they accurate. My logic is this: If somebody was interested in the percentage of people cheating that person might go out to look for evidence of it ie go to places where alot of it happens. I also said that even if it was true then I would concentrate on the half who don't cheat.


If you want me to discuss anymore points then feel free to say what you don't agree with.

 

[Metacomet]

Of course it matters. If a person is very happy with somebody why would they want to ruin that? If a person was unhappy and felt trapped then that person would be more likely to cheat. Most of the time they just break up.

.....

Men who cheat are not real men. Real men can control themselves.

Does anyone else want to physically slap this post?

'If a person is happy why ruin the relationship' - that is the OLDEST question and I believe we've answered it a thousand times.

A woman can be in a fantastic, emotionally and financially secure relationship with a GREAT guy. But if the right guy comes along he CAN cause her to cheat.

It's that simple.

It doesn't matter how great a girl is, how great her relationship is - trust me. I know some amazing women with great hearts who have cheated on their trusting and loving husbands.

What don't you understand about this?



I agree - real men control their emotions.
Show me ONE real man who can control his **** when a girl rubs against it? It doesn't matter if it's his girlfriend or not - it has nothing to do with morals or status of the current relationship

 

[bukowski_merit]

I think you both have valid points and I don't believe you can generalize all women into one category. Especially since we have super successful women astronauts and fighter pilots.... that takes the highest mental commitment. Woman certainly have the capability to override hardwiring but they have to want it really bad, and need a reason to want it.

they fail to maintain their sanity (emotions) at times as well: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lisa_Nowak

That being said, to any guys thinking of nailing someone else's girl, or cheating on your gf, you are sp1neless fvcks... period. Especially PUAs... that makes me sick to my stomach. We complain about how women who cheat are wh0res and then go out and do the same. I thought developing a PUA mentality was about building self control and becoming a better person that people can trust. How could anyone trust someone that cheats?

I regularly get woman to cheat with me (but have never cheated on a woman i was in a committed relationship with). I have never been one to really complain about women/men cheating or calling women *****s; i'm non-judgemental to an extreme level, which is really why i have a lot of success at what i do (non-judgement builds comfort fast; and if you want to talk "trust" - i don't know any man around here who has as much trust as me). I have self-control, i just don't take women as serious as you.

 

[bukowski_merit]

Does anyone else want to physically slap this post?

'If a person is happy why ruin the relationship' - that is the OLDEST question and I believe we've answered it a thousand times.

A woman can be in a fantastic, emotionally and financially secure relationship with a GREAT guy. But if the right guy comes along he CAN cause her to cheat.

It's that simple.

It doesn't matter how great a girl is, how great her relationship is - trust me. I know some amazing women with great hearts who have cheated on their trusting and loving husbands.

What don't you understand about this?



I agree - real men control their emotions.
Show me ONE real man who can control his **** when a girl rubs against it? It doesn't matter if it's his girlfriend or not - it has nothing to do with morals or status of the current relationship

I am convinced he has some "self-help gurus" d1ck in his mouth (And thus, he is hopeless to reason with).

he sees the world around him as he's been told to see it. And that is fine, let him wear those rose colored glasses, and when he gets some girl he really loves and settles down with her, he'll find that being a "high status" man and keeping his woman happy (terrible advice!) - will not keep a man like me from banging her for hours before he gets home and she has him get sloppy seconds she doesn't enjoy. and when he's sitting on the edge of his bed crying; maybe then he'll realize that the perfect world he's created around him - is a at best - an crazy dream.

 

[slaog]

Does anyone else want to physically slap this post?

'If a person is happy why ruin the relationship' - that is the OLDEST question and I believe we've answered it a thousand times.

A woman can be in a fantastic, emotionally and financially secure relationship with a GREAT guy. But if the right guy comes along he CAN cause her to cheat.

It's that simple.

I never said if somebody was happy they wouldn't cheat. I said they'd less likely cheat.

It doesn't matter how great a girl is, how great her relationship is - trust me. I know some amazing women with great hearts who have cheated on their trusting and loving husbands.

What don't you understand about this?

They're obviously not that amazing so are they.


What I'm saying is basically not all women are potential cheaters and just because somebody pushes their buttons they cannot stop themselves from cheating.

I agree - real men control their emotions.
Show me ONE real man who can control his **** when a girl rubs against it? It doesn't matter if it's his girlfriend or not - it has nothing to do with morals or status of the current relationship

Doesn't mean he'll cheat.

On the other hand I know that its possible to make some women cheat who are in sh1t relationships with spineless jellyfish. My mother is one of those unbreakables, when she found out my father had cheated on her she was a wreck but she never scumbed to that level. I am very proud of her and she gives me faith in modern women.

I'm glad to hear that I'm not the last of my kind.

Your mother is a good example of a quality woman.

 

[slaog]

I am convinced he has some "self-help gurus" d1ck in his mouth (And thus, he is hopeless to reason with).

he sees the world around him as he's been told to see it. And that is fine, let him wear those rose colored glasses, and when he gets some girl he really loves and settles down with her, he'll find that being a "high status" man and keeping his woman happy (terrible advice!) - will not keep a man like me from banging her for hours before he gets home and she has him get sloppy seconds she doesn't enjoy. and when he's sitting on the edge of his bed crying; maybe then he'll realize that the perfect world he's created around him - is a at best - an crazy dream.

A man like you banging my girl? Sorry she has high standards. I don't know the girls you come into contact with but they're easy for you because they're just easy.


Sorry to see you're so upset and emotional. I thought you were a man who is always in control?


You believe what you want, it's obvious we're miles apart. Lets not get personal. Happy new year. :rockon:

 

[bukowski_merit]

A man like you banging my girl? Sorry she has high standards. I don't know the girls you come into contact with but they're easy for you because they're just easy.

Women having standards don't matter. Women being easy or being hard doesn't matter (because i assure you - they're only being hard for you). you'll never understand that though.

Sorry to see you're so upset and emotional. I thought you were a man who is always in control?

Now you have reading comprehension problems? "I have self control, I just don't take women as serious as you do" somehow ='s I always have control??? Yes, your posts are annoying. What does the self-help gurus d!ck have to say about that? (you're on it so you should know)

be as you would like to be and soon you will be as you dreamed my son. follow me and my rainbow unicorn smiling faces cult and you will be set free from the shackles of a world too real for you to live in. follow me and create a false world void of reality where the lions don't roar, they lick their own pVssy and talk about how beautiful the world is. just imagine how beautiful that beach you and your lovely tasting pure wife will be walking on soon. can you smell the seasalt? look at those seagulls flying ahead - that's you my son. You're that seagull. fly and sound like me. a happy happy nerd.

 

[bigjohnson]

Women having standards don't matter.

I know some cute little church girls who you wouldn't stand a chance with. I tell you what, Mr. 100%, go nail Emmy Clarke before her 19th BDAY. Ya I didn't think so.


EDIT:

Added a link to a bio of Mary Elizabeth "Emmy" Clarke, age 18, for the Google impaired.

 

[bukowski_merit]

I know some cute little church girls who you wouldn't stand a chance with.

How do you know? How do you know i don't have the ability to manipulate them into believing i'm a nice little church boy? (do you think i haven't been down this road?) AND how do you know those cute little church girls aren't just wearing masks? You have that much faith in your ability to read people? Would people who know you ever imagine that you hang out on a PUA board? Do you think any of these girls have dildos?

Look... Ultimately - i am not saying that if you date someone - they will cheat on you. I'm not saying that there isn't things you can do to reduce your chances of getting cheated on. I'm not saying every woman will cheat.

I am simply saying that every person is capable of it. And given the right set of circumstances, words, emotions, triggers, manipulation, head games, etc - they will. I CANNOT offer the right set of those things to every woman. But some guy can... And you just have to hope she never meets that guy...

I tell you what, Mr. 100%, go nail Emmy Clarke before her 19th BDAY. Ya I didn't think so.

No idea who that is. And a google search of her came up with a girl who looks like she's 12. Not into girls that young. But I guess you do like "cute little church girls"

 

[DonGorgon]

It's not ignorance. It's about finding a quality woman in the begining. If you build a house on solid foundations you don't need to worry about it falling down.

:rockon:

LOL.. thought you were using steel but it was plastic in disguise... that is the modern liberal woman... realism trump optimism everytime.

 

[chuk15]

And you just have to hope she never meets that guy...

Having a mindset that women would cheat on you in a heartbeat to a guy with better genes i.e. your woman is going to get spermwar'd is unhealthy. It's a horrible way to think and will probably just lead to a self fulfilling prophecy.

 

[Nutz]

"Sorry I ran over that little kid your honor when I was drunk driving. However, in my defense I was drunk so it didn't count."



And point of fact humans ARE animals, or mammals to be specific. We bow to our baser instincts all the darn time. To think women can logic themselves out of FEELING their emotions is naive at best. Time and time again women cheat on guys who they have perfectly healthy relationships with if for any other reason than the guy made them tingle down there and the logistics were right.

 

[slaog]

Women having standards don't matter. Women being easy or being hard doesn't matter (because i assure you - they're only being hard for you). you'll never understand that though.

Doesn't it matter? Do you believe that?

Now you have reading comprehension problems? "I have self control, I just don't take women as serious as you do" somehow ='s I always have control??? Yes, your posts are annoying. What does the self-help gurus d!ck have to say about that? (you're on it so you should know)

Well you seem to be taking this way too seriously.


My posts are annoying to you. You get annoyed because you don't agree with what I have to say. For that reason I don't think you have the self control you say you do.


Its funny because I was accused of having a too simplistic view by somebody a few posts back but I'm argueing that women are not as simplistic as you make them out to be.