Female Friends

[Buddha_Mind]

I noted awhile back I was going to embrace this and challenge my viewpoints and perceptions: I wanted to report some feedback.

It has been highly valuable to have female friends. These are chicks I do not bang, nor do I necessarily want to bang, but whom are none the less intellectually challenging and bring tons of new thoughts to the table. I know the DJ mentality has been 'NO FEMALE FRIENDS' and I would say if you are madly in love with your female friend, then yes, pull the cord because you are only hurting yourself by not letting go of your fixation. But having a female roommate, and a few good female friends at work has blown open my mind to some new concepts and the ways that women see things (or at least these particular women). It's given me some insight.

I know that bitterness, frustration, feeling sometimes in our dark hours that the opposite gender is a true enemy is a feeling I haven't been alone in. However; I am learning that all people are so dam.n different, we can make blanket statements quite easily here, and I just wanted to report that this has been eye opening. It was a challenge for me to be open to the idea, and I know to some that sounds terrible -- but there are lots of advantages and now I've got other women rooting for me too.

There are definitely boundaries in these friendships for them to be successful -- I think truly only works when there is a mutual platonic regard and no sexual intentions.

I'm just going to keep working at being a very positive refuge, not only for myself, but for other women who are friends too, and for all the people in my life. I have been guilty of being closed minded, and I wanted to encourage others to befriend as many females as they can -- just know your intentions and keep them in check.

 

[Zunder]

I cant be bothered with female friends.
Why do I want to talk women shyte with women that I am not fuking?
In fact - I don't even want to talk women shyte with women that I am ****ing.
Yes sure I have female 'acquaintances' that I see not very often - but they are hardly bosom buddy "friends".
Men and Women are designed to fuk each other - not talk about her latest shopping spree.

 

[Buddha_Mind]

Men and Women are designed to fuk each other - not talk about her latest shopping spree.

LOL man c'mon you can't really think this can you? Not all women are like that!

 

[Zunder]

LOL man c'mon you can't really think this can you? Not all women are like that!

Yep bro, pretty much I do.
I have a dik, they have a pvssy.
I want to put my dik in said pvssy.
I dont not want to engage her as my friend to talk about football games, or sales that are on at the shopping mall.

 

[backbreaker]

i have never had a relationship with a female where one of us didn't want to **** the other.

There are AFC girls too. I've friended a few girls that would "oh that' smy best friend" but anytime I talk about anything remotely sexual with my GF or another girl they get puffy lipped and eventually bring out the "where are we going" line

 

[Findog]

LOL man c'mon you can't really think this can you? Not all women are like that!

A single guy and a single girl can be friends, and they can even have only platonic intentions towards one another, but as soon as one of them gets involved romantically with another person, there are limits to that friendship out of necessity.

 

[sodbuster]

I need to find one smart enough to talk to first.... have a chance at a 3.4 million dollar deal,female friends advice? "go with your gut" WTF? Tell me what the economy is going to do over the next 5 years,then I'll know how to play it or IF I want to play it. I mean this thing could make or break me...and I'm supposed to go with my gut.

 

[Die Hard]

It has been highly valuable to have female friends.

having a female roommate, and a few good female friends at work has blown open my mind to some new concepts and the ways that women see things (or at least these particular women). It's given me some insight.

there are lots of advantages

To be honest, I think you're deluding yourself... But hey, I'll give you the benefit of the doubt and ask you to expand on all these so called insights and advantages you've gained through your female friends. Please tell us about them.

 

[st_99]

I have a female friend and so have gotten the oppurtunity to hang out with a bunch of girls a bunch of times. Honestly, I can't really say that I've gained any real insight as to what goes on inside their heads.

Things that i've noticed:

-Girl on girl conversations are mainly boring

-Married and girls with boyfriends gladly accept and play along
with my flirting and kino, they like it.

-They dont talk much about their boyfriends or husband unless asked (except one who is really into her man, but nothing crazy)

-Overall, nothing exciting, pretty non eventful. Guys generally have more
fun.

 

[Lord Shinra]

One thing I never understood is how I read everywhere to "Have hot female friends to draw in other hot females". I understood the concept, but comeon, I want to fcuk hot females, I'm not interested in their inane bullsh1t.

Now, a #4-5, does the same BS as a HB10 is theorized to do, with the advantage that they'll help you giggotody some other broad, and she takes care of the 1 chump in the pack of 6 girls whose there.

As I said, I never understood the concept due to the fact that it seems to go against the grain of everything.

 

[Burroughs]

girls have boyfriends and girlfriends, which one are you??

 

[metoo]

When I was broke, unemployed and homeless, some "friend only" type ladies helped me a bit, but I helped them quite a bit, too. They were equally as poor, and as usual in the US, near helpless when it came to vehicles, lawn mowers, plumbing, electrical appliances, etc. I know a bit about such things, and more importanly, I know how to find guys who will tell me what's what about them, in exchange for things I teach them about guns, shooting, karate, survivalism.

 

[Colossus]

A single guy and a single girl can be friends, and they can even have only platonic intentions towards one another, but as soon as one of them gets involved romantically with another person, there are limits to that friendship out of necessity.

Sosuavers are really divided on this subject. Like Buddah I have learned a LOT about women through my female friends. When you are not interested in banging a girl or being romantic with her it takes the blinders off.

That said, one person usually develops (or has from the outset) feelings for the other and this tension is sometimes the glue that keeps the friendship together. This is how it's been with most of my girl-friends.

Then there is the inevitable case where one person gets into a relationship. Usually this really limits the friendship, or ends it. In the case of the interested female friend, they usually wont accept the new girl or will put up a fuss about meeting her, and naturally the girlfriend has none of it and you have to make a choice, so the nod goes to the one you are banging. In the case of a platonic friendship, you usually have to limit your time with her out of necessity.

Basically I think it boils down to this: With any hetero friendship, chances are one or both of you would fvck the other given the right circumstances. It doesnt mean you cant be friends. Just follow the old standard rule of not 'friending' a girl you are actively interested in, and keep the friendship in check when you're in a relationship.

 

[Zunder]

Sosuavers are really divided on this subject. Like Buddah I have learned a LOT about women through my female friends. When you are not interested in banging a girl or being romantic with her it takes the blinders off.

That said, one person usually develops (or has from the outset) feelings for the other and this tension is sometimes the glue that keeps the friendship together. This is how it's been with most of my girl-friends.

Then there is the inevitable case where one person gets into a relationship. Usually this really limits the friendship, or ends it. In the case of the interested female friend, they usually wont accept the new girl or will put up a fuss about meeting her, and naturally the girlfriend has none of it and you have to make a choice, so the nod goes to the one you are banging. In the case of a platonic friendship, you usually have to limit your time with her out of necessity.

Basically I think it boils down to this: With any hetero friendship, chances are one or both of you would fvck the other given the right circumstances. It doesnt mean you cant be friends. Just follow the old standard rule of not 'friending' a girl you are actively interested in, and keep the friendship in check when you're in a relationship.

But the question still remains why would I want to be friends with a girl whether she is unattractive or not?
An occassional acquaintanenance is a different matter - but to me a friend is someone you seek out to do stuff with two or three times a month - but a fuking day in hell before Id spend that amount of time with a woman I am not fuking.

 

[Tazman]

These are chicks I do not bang, nor do I necessarily want to bang, but whom are none the less intellectually challenging and bring tons of new thoughts to the table.

This would be the equivelant of finding a needle in a hay stack.

The day I stopped listening to what women say was the day I began to truly understand them.

 

[Nutz]

I know the DJ mentality has been 'NO FEMALE FRIENDS'

lolwut? Female friends are excellent. A decent female friend as a wingwoman is 10x better than an excellent wingman, hands down. Girls will get you laid all the time if they are social and cool with you. Doubly so if they are "hawt girls".

 

[Serg897]

Im in the pro-female friend camp. I have several, including one who is very close and we hang out/chat much. She is claims to be gay, but is actually bisexual as our relationship started out with sex but gradually became platonic. She is very intelligent more of an intellectual friend, one who I discuss a lot of stuff with, and I really have NO interest in ****ing her anymore.

A man doesnt have to limit himself to the same sex for friendships. That is nonsense perpetuated on this forum.

 

[Buddha_Mind]

To be honest, I think you're deluding yourself... But hey, I'll give you the benefit of the doubt and ask you to expand on all these so called insights and advantages you've gained through your female friends. Please tell us about them.

How do I describe it -- sometimes I sort of feel like their "brother", looking out for them, and in some ways they look out for me too. They help me -- my roommate for example makes me coffee, she bakes things and shares, cooks meals. But she also genuinely seems to root for me and believes in my successes/accomplishments (building my web biz, being in the gym, etc).

Yes she is still a girl so there are girl-things that simply are just a part of that. I can understand if some men don't have patience for it. All the people in my life can be a bit frustrating at times I suppose -- both men and women -- maybe the females a bit more simply because they cannot always understand the male mind, but I do gain a lot of understandings from them.

My female friend at work and I talk about relationship stuff, how she see's things -- I learn a lot and truly a lot of these women are struggling with the very same stuff that we are, and have lots of misconceptions about men. I know that she too is happy to what I have contributed in conversation.

Re; Intellectual -- there are smart women out there who enjoy deep conversations. I've never dated many women like this. However, my female work friend for example, talks about space and time and the atomic structure with me. We had an hour long discussion about atomic particles and how mostly, all things are empty space. (For example if a 155lb man had all of the 'space' between his atomic particles removed, and the nuclei were stacked on top of one another, he would be reduced to the size of a dust particle caught in a sunbeam ray). That sort of stuff just simply blows my mind -- but my female friend at work, for an example of intellectual discourse, can process that, understand and then contribute good feedback. That is a conversation I can't have with some men even.

I mean sure women can be annoying sometimes -- honestly like I said -- all people can annoy me sometimes in general. I enjoy my private space. Women are definitely more aware of your body language and vocal tone. They are far more observant which at times you can feel this -- feel the pressure -- but it is also a constructive exercise for me for understanding how to maintain frame with my physical stature.

I have truly, whether some want to admit it to themselves or not, found value in these friendships. And I too was skeptical -- look up my past responses to similar discussions -- but now not being in a relationship, trying to be open to new concepts and constructs -- and I am reporting good things.

I also begin to feel somewhat protective over them. I want to ensure that they are treated well, I gain this protective "big brother" sort of psychology. I value what they contribute, I realize they are still "girls", but I also sort of look out for them at parties, etc.

I do think you guys are right that when in a relationship these boundaries do change. I am not very physical at all with these women. I give them a hug maybe here or there, but I do not cuddle/sleep/lie next to them, that sort of thing -- really not much different than how I treat any of my male friends, but maybe with a few more hugs.

Another thing I should clarify -- I'm not "going shopping" with these women, I'm not having little date-like outings. I mean we live together and just chill, or work together and just have discussion. I don't like sports personally anyways -- nor do most of these chicks seem to enjoys shopping -- in fact the women I am friends with are hippy-ish in nature, these are not the blonde-haired-black-hand-bag sort of chicks. These are stereotypes.

If I was in a relationship and I was sleeping in the same bed with these women, cancelling outings with my girl to hang out with them, etc, I can truly see how this would not be cool -- of if I'd been sexual with them or they were ex-girlfriends. But if they are simply platonic friends that I share rather good conversation with, is that really such a bad thing? I have noticed truly that more women approach me by having these women as friends, they say good things about me, I have a greater level of accepted social trust.

 

[Buddha_Mind]

Can't help but notice buddah has still not answered this question. Nor has any god damn one, actually.

If you hadn't noticed I mentioned the intellectual discussion (talk of quarks, atoms, etc).

But you know what?

You guys may be right.

We just all went to dinner, and the female roommate was truly pissing me off -- fvck it man, maybe you are right, they're just a huge pain in the ass -- and if they're your girlfriend maybe they're worth it -- otherwise just a bunch of wasted time. Even then maybe a bunch of wasted time.

I'm going to keep lifting weights like a bastard and making my business grow. Fvck the bi.tches.

/edit/ just incredibly ironic one hour after my last post I have to question half the **** I wrote here. Honestly I've had some good experiences with these women -- but gddamn they still seem to find a way to piss me off.

If there is anything to rely upon -- it must be yourself.

 

[FairShake]

Insights and advantages to having female friends? Mostly fashion advice and social proof. I've found they know what looks better on me (apparently solid dark colors, plaids, and more fitted) and that they can talk you up seriously to their friends which makes it easier for the hook up. I would say at least half of my hookups have been through friends of my friends (and about 10% have been with friends haha). Sometimes they tell me what I'm doing wrong and right as well. Women friends tend to go alot deeper than male friends and if there's an inner game problem they will sniff it out very well.

Edit: Oh and you can't really understand women unless you spend alot of time with them. Reading forums and going to boot camps doesn't count. Nor do awkward, bumbling one night stands. Having friends is a valuable way to find out what definitely works and what doesn't. The most valuable definite I've learned is that there are no definites. However, I've learned patterns that are true more often not and what kind of women follow them. So I can recognize them easier because I've seen them before with my homegirlz.