wait_out said:
Accepting yourself as an emotional animal is not going to impair your higher thought process. It's going to make your life more honest. We can all fill the role of rational thinkers at times, but no human with regular brain chemistry is a truly rational creature. That's a complete misconception. We learn so fast essentially
because we're emotional, and desire strongly to reproduce positive feelings.
Peep this:
That's not the ego or super-ego (though his explanation afterwards was). There wasn't time to reason, only to act. In fact, reviewing the tapes afterwards, Riley couldn't logically explain why he'd chosen to shoot down the blip and his decision was attributed to luck. It took a cognitive psychologist to discover what actually happened. Since a Silkworm missile flies lower and is masked by ground interference, it wouldn't show up until the third radar sweep, 8 seconds after an A-6. Riley couldn't rationally recognize this difference since he wasn't trained to identify it. It was
feeling -- because the Silkworm very subtly did not conform to a comforting mental pattern which was aready firmly established in his unconscious.
Don't cripple your intuition through higher-level reasoning. People get burned all the time from behaving how they think they're supposed to when their feelings scream otherwise. Love and sex are included here. Getting back to the subject, female friends may or may not work -- but I can't see it going well if you're semi-conscious of what you truly want or you're advancing lifestyle experiments ahead of your own desires. That's why you need to embrace the id -- it is not a dirty word! How do you now your id's not gregarious, sexual, funny, attractive... suppressing that is suppressing a major part of your soul Buddha! As well, since your feelings change over time, you can't definitively resolve this with a single answer. It will change over the course of your life. That's why answering this question is completely counterproductive -- you're simply imposing inflexibility on your life, wheras you should be working towards greater freedom.
"Embracing your id" is not suppression of your other levels of thinking, emotion, whatever. It's not zero-sum. Attempting to think like a gorilla through deliberate planning is also not the point. It's simply acknowledging what shoots through your body first, rather than attempt to rationalize it away. Seeing women in primarily sexual terms isn't misogynistic, it doesn't even make you a bad person. I think you still have the impression that this will make you shallow. That's really not the case.
This is a good post and I get what you are describing here. In some ways I do already engage the id often, but again, this is western psychology's way to break down the human mind and how do we really know these parts are as they are?
There is no suppression of emotion--what I am more so battling is can there truly be a beneficial and healthy relationship purely platonic between a man and a woman?
My answer is: MAYBE, and this is very rare, and I still gauge there are undertones of sexual attraction.
I have been experimenting with female friends for the last months, honestly, it's not that great. There is more drama, more gossip, and I notice mood fluxes co-occurring with things like menstruation, etc. It's just "too much to handle"
Honestly a chick I *truly bond with as a friend* would also be my lover. What is the point of these friendships when they really are just another form of failed satisfaction?
I have tried very hard to be cool about the male:female thing -- but this is what happens -- even the chicks I'm friends with who ARE NOT sexually attractive still try and c0ck block me. I witnessed this 3x with my roommate. Opportunities that other women wanted to get closer to me and she steps in the way. She even a few times, has tried to rationalize me against another woman simply because "she didn't like her"..well it's my life yes? Sorry the women I spend time with don't suite you..
It's just a form of c0ck blocking and weird subtle sh!t. I call BS on my own past arguments and on the notions of genuine purely platonic female-male friendships. I agree with Die Hard -- if there was Real Relationship Satisfaction all of these male and female buddies wouldn't be as important.
I don't want a social niche full of girls. They aren't going to help me too much -- just pops in and out of psuedo-romantic feelings, intense emotional moments...just too much.
So I have to recognize what things are.
That's the problem.
I was rock climbing yesterday and was thinking about the rock. It can kill you. It's incredibly hard. But we use patience and understanding and wisdom to try and move around and up the rock, with the rock, and come down safe and sound with new self-challenge. Women can be like rock climbing. There are hazards. If you do not acknowledge or give respect to these hazards, whom do you have to blame when sh!t hits the fan?
Having these female buddies isn't doing much, whether I want to admit it or not, it's still 'rock climbing', and there are real aspects of it. You can pretend it's something else, but it is what it is.
Sidenote--my past female roommate with tons of guy friends--absolutely has a romantic crush on all of them, myself included--and I have to keep the breaks and distance so she stops hugging me all of the time and rubbing my back and sh!t. 3 feet of personal space please.
Anyways, that's all I've got here. My summation: this is all BS, ain't gratifying me, I don't have time or energy for this -- going to focus more deeply on what I want and to reflect myself in those attributes as well.
(how often we want something we ourselves are incapable of ever giving)
