Female Friends

[Ricky]

Funny, I have a great gf now but a few years back after a rough breakup I was looking for just this. A group of female friends which would be fun anyways plus having them as pivots to meet other girls.

In any event in a few cases I asked a girl just to be friends, and it was like they got offended. I have an email somewhere about it that was pretty funny from another girl.

Kind of crazy. But I do think that having girls as friends will help you meet other girls, plus you get the occasional lay from the friends with benefits.

 

[DonJuan11]

lol, James Bond is a MOVIE stop trying to be like him...be yourself...but first find your best self and tweak it to make your Authentic Self.

James Bond is everything a DJ should be. Watch the movies and you'll find:

1) He is never nervous talking to a HB
2) He always knows the right thing to say
3) He never asks "why didn't the girl like me? or "should I call her?" or "she rubbed my arm, am I in a relationship?"
4) He is straightforward with women, doesn't apologize for wanting to sleep with them
5) His body language is cool, calm and collected and his actions are always a little slower than normal. He never gets flustered or nervous.
7) Never puts down a girl in any circumstance. In one movie he asks a smoking hot babe: "how about you join me for dinner tonight?" The girl firmly says "No". You should see his response. There is not a DJ on here who would respond that way.
8) Works hard and always gets the job done. Never says "I'm too short" or "I'm too ugly" or "Mommy didn't love me, I'll never have sucess with women"
9) Always sharply dressed, good watch, good shoes, and a nice car
10) Has never read the game or any other seduction book that gives hints and clues on how to pick up women. Imagine Bond saying to Pvssy Galore "Quick, name three things you don't like about yourself".

I'd rather look up to him than be myself.

-----------------------------------------

Bond: "That looks like a woman's gun."
Largo: "Do you know a lot about guns, Mr Bond?"
Bond: "No, but I know a little about women."

 

[Maxtro]

Your best bet is to start reading up on pickup stuff and start going out a # of days a week and do a about 5-12 approaches per day depending on the free time you have. There is no real shortcut to this. I'm not saying to just go around getting female friends for the lack of game, I'm basically saying have them so the complement your life.

Reason I say learn pickup is because your goal should be to improve who you are so you become an attractive man. As a result when you interact and have female friends, there is still that sexual tension. (Which to me is ideal)

I never would have thought that getting female friends had anything to do with PU. The whole concept of sexual tension is currently lost on me. I thought that the only reason a woman would be your friend because you don't want to or can't have sex with her. So you settle for friend. I do need to work on approaching women more.

But the best way to just start meeting people if you really have bad social skills. Best bet is just go in having small talk asking open minded questions, (What's one country you always wanted to go too? Would you ever go scuba diving in the north pole?) share stories, fluff.

I really think if a person can get past the awkwardness of going into a story then they can get far because stories can just keep the conversation interesting and long. I say awkwardness because most people don't tell stories because they feel they need a good transition when you can just go right into a story.

Stories
Open minded questions
small talk

Those 3 things alone should help you.

I need to get better at socializing. I like small talk and asking open ended questions. I love hearing women talk. I hate talking about myself. I think my life is completely drab and I have no stories to tell. When a girl does ask something about me I try to finish up as quick as possible so I don't get the opportunity to embarrass myself. I need a lot more practice at socializing.

Nice post DonJuan11. Based on what you said, James Bond is a great person to emulate. Do you think Bond ever thinks negatively about himself?

 

[betterthandead]

What exact benefit will a man get out of having female friends? I can see the point of having them as acqaintances from work but I see zero reason for me to hang out with them one on one or with a group. Don't tell me about the picking up chicks is easier or whatever excuse.

 

[Snow Plowman]

James Bond is everything a DJ should be.

I've seen the movies, its a fictional character. It's just an act, but either way go in like james bond and you'll see. If it works for you then cool.

I never would have thought that getting female friends had anything to do with PU. The whole concept of sexual tension is currently lost on me. I thought that the only reason a woman would be your friend because you don't want to or can't have sex with her. So you settle for friend. I do need to work on approaching women more.

It has some benefits for PU making it easier to meet chicks and getting social proof, but having female friends is based on a lifestyle. There is no reason the be getting in the friend zone by mistake, if so then your not escalating and you need to be. (This is never a problem for me because I kino hardcore right off the opener) The tension is from all the flirting, teasing and playing around. When I talk about female friends I'm talking about YOU purposely putting her in the friend zone. Directly or indirectly.

I need to get better at socializing. I like small talk and asking open ended questions. I love hearing women talk. I hate talking about myself. I think my life is completely drab and I have no stories to tell. When a girl does ask something about me I try to finish up as quick as possible so I don't get the opportunity to embarrass myself. I need a lot more practice at socializing.

Well thats stuff you have to improve on, I can already tell you have limiting beliefs because you stating you have no stories is lies because your alive and you've seen and experienced things so you've had stories. You just don't think its good enough to talk about to a girl. Which is a bad belief to have. Also you care about what people think. But like you stated you need more practice.

Nice post DonJuan11. Based on what you said, James Bond is a great person to emulate. Do you think Bond ever thinks negatively about himself?

No problem with the guy but its a FICTIONAL CHARACTER. It isn't real. I guess you can emulate disney characters because in the end they always get the girl lol. I'm not even going to go into fictional characters vs emulating REAL naturals.

What exact benefit will a man get out of having female friends? I can see the point of having them as acqaintances from work but I see zero reason for me to hang out with them one on one or with a group. Don't tell me about the picking up chicks is easier or whatever excuse.

You clearly don't have female friends to know the benefits. It's no excuse it helps getting other chicks and ALSO which I'm mainly talking about is based on a LIFESTYLE prespective.

You can't go to certain clubs with just 10 guy friends you need to have girls with you. What happens when you start a relationship with the chick and want to roll with your boys, are you going to ditch your boys or are you going to make her roll with you guys...10guys 1girl. Don't you want your friends to have girls too?

I for one like to give good emotions to my girls and my friends so what better way then having chicks in our social circle.

Also SOCIAL CIRCLE is the easiest way to get chicks, I'm not going to go into why but all these guys who want to just get laid if that is the case why waste 2-3 years of going out hardcore when you can just join a social circle that has women and lay them?

Now when your rolling with lets say 4 guys and 6 girls your friends are happy because they can start macking on the chicks they like. I already stated whats good about it in my first post.

This is all about improving yourself, your skill at conveying your personality as quick as possible, understanding women, building a lifestyle, and overall changing into a man that is attractive. Stop thinking of everything as a Pickup and a Win/Loss. Do you actually think cool guys who are living there life are focused on just picking up chicks and don't have any female chicks. I remember back when I had 30 male friends 0 female friends, it would weird chicks out to the point they wouldn't even sit down because its like "Do any of these guys even get girls?"

Overall it looks lame, as if women aren't attracted to any of you guys...negative social proof. Nerds go to lan parties with other guys, cool guys who are living there life are spending it with there friends and women the like.

Maybe guys aren't at the stage where they don't mind having female friends, maybe they haven't realized that it's IMPOSSIBLE to lay every chick that is hot to you.

 

[DonJuan11]

I've seen the movies, its a fictional character. It's just an act, but either way go in like james bond and you'll see. If it works for you then cool.

No problem with the guy but its a FICTIONAL CHARACTER. It isn't real. I guess you can emulate disney characters because in the end they always get the girl lol. I'm not even going to go into fictional characters vs emulating REAL naturals.

Yes he's fictional, but so what? Most of us on here weren't blessed with David Beckham looks or Tom Brady height or Donald Trump money. We have to work with what we have.

I'd rather study his movies to learn how a DJ dresses, talks, acts, and uses his body language to get the girl, than take advice from people on here who haven't even kissed a girl.

 

[Snow Plowman]

Yes he's fictional, but so what? Most of us on here weren't blessed with David Beckham looks or Tom Brady height or Donald Trump money. We have to work with what we have.

I'd rather study his movies to learn how a DJ dresses, talks, acts, and uses his body language to get the girl, than take advice from people on here who haven't even kissed a girl.

I don't want to go off-topic but based on your comment I realize a few possiblities...
1. Your learning the WRONG thing (Looks, height nor money plays a factor when gaming. If you have game you will always get the girls from guys who are better looking and richer)

2. You haven't consistently gone out and learned how to approach

3. Don't even approach or do pickup in general

What I reccomend
- Check Tyler's Archive
- Go on MM Forum and read there Classic Writings
- Go to Rsdwiki.com and read there gems and classic articles
- Go out and approach 10 sets a day 3-4 days a week

If you don't want to take advice from guys who haven't kissed a girl (lol) then read classic guru posts, you can't go wrong.

Now as far as attraction goes...Attraction is based off of high value. If you have high social value the chick will be attracted to you regardless how you look or how much money you have. Another way to cause attraction is pumping up her buying temperature because her logic will be disengaged and she will be more emotional. Women live in the emotion of the moment and backwards rationalize it. So you can pump a chick up, makeout with her, etc and she'll backwards rationalize it and then flake lol because all you did was put her in a emotion.

This is why you see alot of guys talk about social proof because having women reacting to you in the presence of others boost your value. Guys who go up to a chick and is unreactive with a strong frame causes attraction. A guy who goes up to a chick saying something direct is an implicit social proof because he was confident going in direct so he must've got many other women by going in direct.

I don't want this thread to go off topic so I'll just leave it at that. There are so many people on this forum who think looks, money and anything superficial matters. Heck there are alot of people who think cold approaching isn't even possible. But its funny because I don't even understand why they'd even be here if they didn't even think cold approaching is possible...

Are they going to be a pimp in there social circle? But how do they even get a social circle if they can't even cold approach? Or will he hope school or work gets him a social circle? But what about the 40 year old guy? Does that mean he has to go back to school to get a social circle so he can practice what he learned on here? lol

I really feel bad for alot of guys on here because all this is fun and a life changing thing. Majority of guys are just diking around and just wasting there time.

Snow Plowman

That is real talk man. I've been thinking about the same thing ever since I came to college. In high school I had a few chick friends I'd talk to at school but I'd NEVER, and I mean NEVER just kick it with girls outside of school unless I was trying to hook up with them.

Now that I'm in college, I've got many girls who i just hang out with, go eat with, go to parties/other sh1t with and it's awesome. Some girls truly do have amazing personalities and I wouldn't trade my chick friends for the world. I feel just as close to them as to my male friends.

The whole PU view on women is just completely fvcked up and I sound so stereotypical to say this but it really does objectify them. I hate how they say women are all trash deep down and that they are all petty and immature and sh1t because that's just not true. And yeah, you WILL be a weirdo if you don't have female friends. Hanging out with girls every once in a while has made me a LOT more comfortable with girls in general.

So true. A good example of this is a friend of mine who is a natural, he is friends with 3 girls who all used to go to our old high school. 1 of those chicks sleeps in his bedroom everyday. (They don't have sex and he doesn't want to fuk her) The 3 girls hangs from our old highschool for the first few months would always hang in there dorm, take showers there, walk around NAKED, get drunk etc.

You know what happened now? They got even more girls hanging in there dorm and now there Dorm Room is the spot because its where all the girls are going. Just the other day they were playing a tourney in a basketball game, who ever wins gets there dik sucked lol. (I don't know how true that is but thats what I was told)

EVERYONE thinks my friend goes out with the girl...and you know what more chicks are attracted to him as a result. He is currently trying to find a way to get his "friend" from not sleeping in his bed that way he can fuk the other chicks who are attracted.

O yea did I mention this kid is FAT? Yes a fat man is getting his share of girls too.

 

[Crazy Asian]

I'm kind of annoyed how many "benefits of female friends" or just female friends in general threads there have been, but not one of them ever said how to make a chick friend.

How the hell do you go from casual acquaintances to actual friend?

what i don't get is.....
how can u possibly get girls to be ur friends?
When i'm meeting a new girl, i talk to them normally like anybody else, and they become attracted to me just because i am Male.

girl's with bf's are a different story, but about half of my friends are female, but only one female is really "close".

It's hard to get close to a female because every time i get close, i think of my AFC days and that just scares me lol.

but the only close one i was talking about WAS my oneitis.....so go figure huh?

 

[Phyzzle]

SnowPlowman is right. As a guy without many female friends, I wish I had more.

The only real such friends I've had have been the girlfriends of my buddies. That's the best situation, because it removes the chase, and lets you totally relax.

 

[DonJuan11]

Snowplow: You are saying don't learn DJ stuff from movies because its fictional. I'm saying learn DJ from whatever source you can if you weren't blessed with good looks, money, height, etc, etc.

 

[PlaysToWin]

Jesus Christ guys... they are girls, not space aliens! How much harder is it to befriend girls than it is to befriend guys?

I personally don't fancy the prospect of asking a guy along to help me pick out nice clothes. Or hints on what to get the various girls in my life for xmas. Or when I need a "date" for some black tie function. Or if I want to go get dance lessons. Or if I need a female perspective on some personal issue or other. Or if I just need a big hug and my gf is out of town.

So yeah, I find them rather useful.

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

First off, men and women cannot be friends, or at least not in the way that most people perceive same sex friendship to be. Now the natural resoponse to this from a well conditioned AFC is "I have lots of female friends" or "what are you trying to say, I can't have female friends, they're all enemies?" Which of course is the standard binary (black or white, all or nothing) retort and the trained AFC thinks anyone suggesting that men and women's relations as friends could be anything less than equitable and fulfilling is just a neanderthal chauvinist thinking thawed out from cryogenic freeze in the 1950s. But you are incorrect - not because you'd want to actually be a woman's friend, but because she cannot be yours - at least not before intimacy between you has been resolved. There are fundamental differences in the ways men and women view friendship within their own sex and the ways this transfers to the concept of intergender friendship.

Quite simply there are limitations on the degree to which a friendship can develop between men and women. The easy illustration of this is that at some point your female "friend" will become intimately involved with another male; at which point the quality of what you perceived as a legitimate friendship will decay. It MUST decay for her intimate relationship to mature. For instance, I've been married for almost 11 years now; were I to entertain a deep freindship with another female (particualrly an attractive female) other than my wife, my interest in this woman automatically becomes suspect of infidelity - and of course the same holds true for women with man-friends. At this point you can raise the "trust issue", but trust isn't the point, it's the natural suspectability and the motivations for the behavior that are.

It's not to say that you cannot have female aquaintances, or that you must necessarily be rude or ignore all women with contempt, that is binary thinking once again, but it is to say that the degree of friendship that you can experience with women (as a man) in comparison to same sex friendships will always be limited due to sexual differences. Most men will only ever engage in friendships with women that they find attractive and/or interesting which of course is colored by their attraction to that woman. Now I'm sure you'll play the "not in my case" card and tell me how much an exception to the rule you are, to which I'll say, even if you legitimately are, it makes no difference. Because the very nature of an intergender friendship is ALWAYS going to be limited by sexual differences.

Even the best, most asexual, platonic, male-female friendships will be subject to mitigation based on sex because this mitigation comes from outside the friendship. The easy example is., I'm sure you'd be jealous and suspect of your girlfriend were she to be spending any "quality time" with another 'male-friend'. It's simply time spent with another male who isn't you and you'll always question her desire to do so in favor of spending time with you.

So get out of your head now that you're even in a so called "friend zone" or you entertain some purely platonic friendship with any woman in the same way as you would a guy. You're either intimate with her or you're not. Women have boyfriends and girlfriends, if you're not fukking her, you're her girlfriend, simple as that. There is no friend zone - there is only the limbo between you being fooled that a girl is actually a friend on an equitable level to your same sex friends, and you understanding that as soon as she becomes intimate with another guy your attentions will become a liability to any relationship she might want to have with the new sexual interest and she puts you off, or you do the same when you become so involved with another girl.

 

[bigjohnson]

First off, men and women cannot be friends, or at least not in the way that most people perceive same sex friendship to be.

That should be tatooed on evey penis in America.

 

[Snow Plowman]

First off, men and women cannot be friends, or at least not in the way that most people perceive same sex friendship to be.

lol, I read your post, you've been married for many years so its clear that your whole lifestyle, views, etc is different from mines.

I'll give an insight on my life just to give an general idea

Male Friends
We joke around, have fun, hangout, and talk about the regular guy stuff. Anyone who has access to certain things we sometimes use to help the whole group out. I was an important figure because at the time I was the guy who had to meet the chicks and bring them to the group because before this it used to be 30 MEN walking together with no girls. When we went to parties sometimes we couldn't get in because it was too many men and no girls with us. EVEN IF WE KNEW THE DJS TO GET IN FREE.

Female Friends
This is different than my guy friends and actually better in many ways. ONE THING FOR SURE WITH me and my FEMALE Friends its always "ON". There is always that sexual tension. I'm always talking to my guy friends and girl friends equally sometimes more my guy friends. My female friends take care of me as if they were my gf. They cook for me, they buy me things, and overall love me as a person. My female friends sit on my lap, we flirt, we tease each other, we sometimes talk about serious things...but most of all

"WE PUT EACH OTHER IN STATE"

When I pickup chicks I usually introduce them to the females first so they know I have other women that hang with me and it also makes it more comfortable because I'm not some weird kid who will take her in the wierds and rape her. My female friends are always popping out of no where giving me a hug, screaming, giving me kisses, etc. It's just normal, they also introduce me to there friends who they already have told alot about me. Whether these girls have a BF or NOT they act like this. I actually chat up the BF to see if he is cool, if he is I'll let him roll with us.

My Social circle & Lifestyle
I like living my life to the fullest and just having great experiences. Everything revolves around my passions and picking up chicks is something that was added into my lifestyle. But I kind of started neglecting my friends because I'd have too many day2s, I'd be spending more time picking up than hanging with my friends which was BAD. So what I started doing is bring them to parties with all my friends. I also told them to bring there friends just so we have more girls.

As a result my GUY friends have chicks they could talk too, and if you've ever hungout with a group of women you'll know all the other guys want to know you so they can meet some chicks lol.

Hanging with chicks is SO much fun and the stuff you hear you can use as stories which will show your pretty comfortable with women. For a good while I used to hangout with many lesbians and bi-sexual women, who altogether pulled more ass than all the men in my school combined. One bi chick pointed out to me that my old school should've just been a all girls school because alot of girls hook up with each other. The stories about young chicks using strap-ons, the older chicks going to gay parade, dressing up at halloween parades, all there funny stories of when they were converting chicks and how they escalated lol. (A guy friend can't really tell you about those things from another prespective)

Eventually I came to realize that if I put some of these chicks in the friend zone I can have pivots and have alot of girls in my social circle, which will then cause my friends to get some too. Then I realized as a bonus, these chicks were able to bring HOT friends, and worked at places that could hook me up. It was so much more fun hanging with both guys and girls.

So what do I have planned now? I'm about to go to acting school in a month, which I'm surely not going to try and fuk any chicks in my school. I think long-term and lifestyle wise now, it would be far better to have those chicks as friends. (KEEP IN MIND MY FEMALE FRIENDS ARE ALL HIGHLY ATTRACTED TO ME, not the AFC TAMPON MAN)

Meanwhile after school I can sarge random women on the street because there tend to be alot of foriegn models in that area and a good amount of attractive women.

When I get out of school, I plan on meeting chicks in certain industries because I have a passion for those things...such as Culinary Arts (I love eating food) Extreme Sports (I basically want to spend my life doing this) Traveling, Fashion industry, partying, and anything else I start to become interested in.

Now it's impossible for me to lay all these chicks at the same time and I surely don't want them to just leave my life. Imagine if a 5 star chef hottie left my life? I'd be devesated to know I won't be getting that type of food. Heck I was abit pissed that I had stopped contacting a pastry chef lol.

Basically, I have a lifestyle that I have pictured in my head and if I was to just go around having sex with EVERY chick that I thought was hot, I'd be losing alot of chicks who I should've made a friend even though my longest open relationship was 2 years, not every girl that I have sex with I stick with for 2 years.

I'd want a 5 star chef friend for life who loves me to death, always parading me to her other friends (Who may also be chefs) and that way I get alot of connections in those areas and get access to even more food. Because one of my things that I want to do in life is travel around the world tasting different types of foods, and having a 5 star chef in my social circle is surely a great thing.

Note: ONCE AGAIN I'M NOT SAYING MAKE ALL FEMALES YOUR FRIENDS. NOR AM I SAYING GO OUT AND JUST MAKE FRIENDS IF YOU DON'T KNOW HOW TO GET WOMEN. IF YOU STILL HAVEN'T IMPROVED YOURSELF INTO SOMEONE WHO IS WOMEN JUST HAPPEN TO BE ATTRACTED TO THEN DON'T EVEN BOTHER TRYING THIS YET. EVEN THOUGH LAYING CHICKS IN YOUR SOCIAL CIRCLE IS 10X EASIER THAN COLD APPROACHING. I THINK OF SOCIAL CIRCLE AS A SIDE THING, THE REAL GAME IS PLAYED DOING COLD APPROACHING.

 

[Solomon]

psssst!!

Snowplow why are you giving away all these jewels man? keep your mouth shut homie!! ha ha ha

Just kidding

But this is why my day2 game has always been strong yo, I've always had females friends ever since College. I would listen and watch and pay attention, everything SP said in the thread is true. I met co-workers who thought I was "sexy" escalated(not always sexually though) and became friends with their friends. Belive it or not but the more you talk/hang and around women, the more comfortable you get, and then talking to women is second nature (this is why guys who go out on the field with me always asks me WTF I say to women and I say "Fluff").

This is why I laugh when guys say "Men and women can't be friends" thats the biggest crock of shiit I ever heard, the more female friends you have the more you are that dude, part of the ultimate social proof is to have girls as friends aka Pre-selection. Some benefits of having girls as friends (in my life anyway)

• Got in the hottest clubs for free
• Free drinks
• Meet their girlfriends/hooking up
• Have other women approach me and asks me "is that yourgirlfriend"
• etc etc(having stuff to do when you bored, parties, etc etc)

Of course it's deeper then having those "benefits" having a geninue realtionship with women is healthy for any man who wants to feel comfortable aroudn women. It should be natural but thats my opinon. The Comfort that I have with women when I approach and talk to them, has helped my game out a ton, I wouldn't have this if I didn't have a healthy relationship with some of the women I have/had in my life.

 

[Jitterbug]

The "friends" part in "men and women can't be friends" refers to real friendship, not acquaintances.

 

[Snow Plowman]

What an old post...

But I have seen the benefits of this on a larger level. When I turn 21, it's going to be insane. I recently had some executive guy in the music industry basically invite me out and telling me to google him, his friend telling me to go to his barber shop to meet the model chicks there and get free drinks.

BUT they don't know I'm underage...

The amount of opportunties I've had man, I know for sure I'd have been partying with a TON of models due to the situations I've been in. But I have tons of time to grow even more.

This summer if school isn't too intense I'll be going to modeling agencies with my boy and meeting/befriending some of the models. To create a huge social circle of HOT CHICKS. At the sametime have our share of the hottest ones.

Another friend put it perfectly, he calls my game "Socialite" because I'm always thinking on the broader range of my lifestyle.

 

[Scars]

I posted something similar to this not too long ago. (http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=158938)

Unfortunately, not as many people were as receptive about it as they are now. Odd. But I completely agree. I think female friends play a vital role in my lifestyle. A wingwoman is also so amazing for your game, seriously. I have the best female friends, it's like they make it their job to get me some pvssy. A person is more likely to believe a woman over a man, even statistics show this. So when a woman is validating you to her friends they're going to believe it more over any wingman you could ever have. (Not to say that wingmen are obsolete, but I would choose a wingwoman over a wingman anyday.)

 

[pLaYtHiNg]

I have had a lot of male friends and more than a few were very, very close friends, without sexual tension, (at least that I could notice), and they are friendships that have lasted to the present, (and we're talking about high school here).

I equally found that getting male perspectives and advice helped me in some of my relationships.

Snow Plowman, I think you've got the right idea.

 

[mrRuckus]

Snow Plowman, I think you've got the right idea. [/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE]

Of course you do.

All girls think this nonsense.

www.laddertheory.com

The "friends" part in "men and women can't be friends" refers to real friendship, not acquaintances.

People barely know what friends are now these days. "I have 300 myspace friends!" Bullsh1t. People aren't your friends just because you can recognize them in public and you drank an alcoholic beverage near them once.

I hang out with dudes from work, but they are not my friends. I have teammates from various teams, but they are not my friends.

My friends are the guys i've talked to since i was 15 despite the fact we've lived 1000s of miles apart or 10 miles apart. Friends are not the people you stop talking to if you move more than 20 min away from them. Friends are not people you leave a myspace comment for once a month.