fellow djs I need some insight pls...

[katzorange]

ok lol update on the situation,

so i bumped into her at lunch the following week, we talk for about 10 mins, but somewhere during that time I managed to be able to ask tell her to come see me at the bar in by my work which is literally 2 seconds away.

went like this,

me: u in a rush to get home?
her: umm i dunno yet cuz im waiting blah blah blah...
me: well how about tomorrow? we hang out at that bar across the street after work?
her: yea sure!
her: you dont mind waiting? (I get off an hour earlier than her)
me: nah, well, im just gonna be at the bar so just come meet me there.
herk
me: i'll see u later

ok so tomorrow comes, i sent her a good morning email which i usually do... she did not respond till like 4pm... which i thought was weird cuz she usually respond timely, but anyways. in the email she said "So sorry been a really busy day, Good afternoon, just a lil delayed lol" so i replied, "yea i hear ya, Im heading over to the bar right now, il see u in an hour" I thought we were still on since she ddnt cancel.

No reply... waited till 5:15 then sent her another email from the bar (she still has no phone at this time) saying "u still at work? im STILL here waiting, but im just gonna finish this beer and bounce." Which I did lol.

I deleted her contact info from my phone, and said to myself, ok thats it. Then first thing next morning she emailed me... this is how it went.

her :"So Sorry about yesterday, been running around here so much trying to finish everything so that I could get off early today that it completely slipped my mind" I remembered last night as I was getting groceries for the weekend. I dont have your new number, why dont u give it to me so I can at least give you a call? Im sorry again "
me: ( I felt like laughing at this point, I was like, cmon seriously? lol)

xxx-xxx-xxxx

Call me after work and between 1030pm
me: I mean call me between 430-1030pm.

her: I will call you after the weekend since I will be out of town by 430, I dont think my friends will appreciate long distance on their phones lol.
Have a great weekend!!!

I'm like wtf? whats wrong with this *****? lol

 

[jophil28]

ok so tomorrow comes, i sent her a good morning email which i usually do... she did not respond till like 4pm

That was her indirect way of telling you that she is probably not going to show up.

DO you know that gnawing sensation in your gut when you are set to meet up with a new chick and she does NOT reply to your text, email or VM on the day of the date?
Well MR GUT understands "chick speek" even if you don't.

IF I were you I would go to radio silence. It is her move now. IF she is interested she will call you next week (and she better offer you a 'makeup date' too)

 

[jophil28]

her :"So Sorry about yesterday, been running around here so much trying to finish everything so that I could get off early today that it completely slipped my mind" I remembered last night as I was getting groceries for the weekend.

Is she telling you here that meeting you at the bar "completely slipped my mind " ???
Chicks have magificent memories. They have minds like Vacuum cleaners.

Jeez, I would have deleted her after that lame insult. However you seem intent on pushing on with this BS flake.
Invoke the TWO strike rule.

 

[piranha45]

ok so tomorrow comes, i sent her a good morning email which i usually do...

that is terrible. Do not do this with any female you have a sexual interest in.

Keep contact with sexual interests short, infrequent, and intense. Set the frame so that they are HOPING this is the lucky day you call them.

As it stands, you have established yourself to her as unchallenging and boring. She takes you for granted; she knows she has you eating out of her hand like a spunky puppy. Let the woman be the one who does all the frivolous gabbing.

 

[katzorange]

i am laughing and shaking my head right now cause i know piranha is right lol. But I guess to my defence i just feel its polite, since we work at the same place. Its just a "good morning" nothing more and nothing less.

 

[katzorange]

and jophil, u hit it right on the money, I was wondering what that feeling was lol, I thought i just ate something bad lol. But seriously ur dead on bro.

And i did delete her contact info on my phone, well her email add on my phone since her phone number is useless since she still has no phone at the moment after i left the bar. She was the one that contacted me via email first thing in the morning today. I was like... meh...

I have pretty much written her off, since im not expecting anything from her anymore despite what our mutual friend says about how "she wants to go out with me again...blah blah blah" If she calls, she better have a great make up plan in mind, then MAYBE i will give her a chance.


im just prolly gonna end up hitting on her friend at work since we have been talking much more lately lol.

 

[guru1000]

You are her lowest priority; a loyal toy she can play with whenever she needs attention.

Highly Interested women do not break date plans without a SINCERE apology and a counter offer.

Highly Interested women will call you to initiate if they feel you are offended.

High Interested woman are the only women worth pursuing.

She made her intentions clear from the beginning, LOW INTEREST. You made a decision to gamble with a speculative investment, only to find out weeks later what you should have already known.

her :"So Sorry about yesterday, been running around here so much trying to finish everything so that I could get off early today that it completely slipped my mind" I remembered last night as I was getting groceries for the weekend. I dont have your new number, why dont u give it to me so I can at least give you a call? Im sorry again "
me: ( I felt like laughing at this point, I was like, cmon seriously? lol)

xxx-xxx-xxxx

Call me after work and between 1030pm
me: I mean call me between 430-1030pm.

This rapport was dead moons ago. Here is where you compromised your self respect.

Her: You are so insignificant, our date slipped my mind. All I was thinking about is how I can get off work early enough to meet the man i truly want. But I feel bad standing you up, it was not intentional. So let me respond to your email to feel better.

You: I understand, it happens. Here is my number, please give me a call when you can remember me. Thank you.

 

[vitor]

My .02 Cents. stop giving her outs, you email her, call her etc, give her oppertunitys to back out. Let her man up sort of speak and tell you straight up "I am not coming, or I do not want to go out with you". If she ask you out again it is your duty to cancel on her 10 mins before the date and never call her again.

 

[jophil28]

Highly Interested women do not break date plans without a SINCERE apology and a counter offer.

And if a woman has HIGH interest ,a date with you would not "slip her mind", she would be counting the minutes.
IF it did genuinely "slip her mind" at her age, then surely you don't want someone with premature Alzheimer's, do you ? :crazy:

 

[slaog]

i am laughing and shaking my head right now cause i know piranha is right lol. But I guess to my defence i just feel its polite, since we work at the same place. Its just a "good morning" nothing more and nothing less.

This is a good example of how some guys fool themselves. Its not being polite, thats just an excuse. If you were just being polite you'd send a good morning email to everybody else.


You sent her the email pretending that its because you're polite but really you want her badly and guess what, she knows it. She can tell by your actions. You spent time writing out an email just for her. Its common AFC behaviour.


Shes not worth another second of your time but don't let her see that you're in any way effected by it.

 

[Zunder]

Your "good morning" email to her is gay.

 

[HalfAddict]

What the ****, a good morning email?

What kind of pussified ***** **** is that.

If some broad sent me a good morning email everyday I wouldn't respond either.

 

[squirrels]

She's not down.

You'll never know why. Don't sweat it...you tried.

THIS is the main reason why people like Rollo harp on "spinning lots of plates"...because some girls ARE going to drop out of the game.

They don't always tell you why, either. They make up some **** about being "stressed" or whatever. Sometimes they are...**** happens. Sometimes it's just a cop-out.

Like I said, you should've called her out on that **** at the time...not gotten pissed off, but let her know that what she was doing was BS nonetheless. But you let it ride.

Then what's with all these messages and E-mails?? I can see her sitting there looking at her phone while out with her friends..."HIM again? Ew, go away creep!!"

One of the BIG mistakes the amateur dater makes is that he tries too hard to REMIND the girl of his existence. If you have to send "good morning E-mails" and all manners of stupid sh*t like that, then you're wasting your time.

If a girl has high IL, she will respond to a NORMAL-person contact attempt. I've got this girl who's interested in me now...I f*cked her about a month or two ago and IM'd her a little while ago telling her I haven't forgotten her, I just busted my leg and can't get around. (which is the truth...the other half of the truth is that I'm not that into her) Point is, she texted me last night to see how I was doing. That is the behavior of a girl with mid-to-high IL.

This girl may have had mid-to-high IL. If you had called her on her BS but let her off the hook, maybe she would've called or texted YOU to see what you were up to, then you could've struck. But you'll never know because you started spamming her with messasges.

When you start spamming a girl with messages, you FORCE her to put herself in a low-IL role!! Your behavior is the behavior of a guy she's not really that interested in, so she will ACT ACCORDINGLY.

 

[katzorange]

I never spammed her with messages... I say good morning to her work email address from my work email address and thats it, she is the one that asks the questions and prolong the convo after that.

I never even text her. So only at work I email her. and thats it. My email composed of 2 words, and 2 words only. Good Morning.

 

[katzorange]

Well when she said sorry and asked for my number so she can call me to talk, I ddnt say that it was ok dont worry about it, and i ddnt say that im angry either, I just gave her the number and what time she should call. thats it. No emotions whatsoever. I cant let her know that it affected me one bit. If she calls she calls. if she dont she dont what the eff ever.

I refuse to waste my time on being upset of silly things like that. I will just move on.

 

[Warrior74]

I never spammed her with messages... I say good morning to her work email address from my work email address and thats it, she is the one that asks the questions and prolong the convo after that.

I never even text her. So only at work I email her. and thats it. My email composed of 2 words, and 2 words only. Good Morning.

my response to that is composed of 2 words and 2 words only. THAT'S GAY.

Okay. I lied. More words coming... Don't get defensive. Don't defend your behavior. Admit your wrong doing so you can learn from it. Or ask a question, "Why is that wrong?" And really think about the answer. But as long as you continue to fight the advice given here, and defend your actions instead of thinking about why we would respond that way, you will not learn nor grow. When a man has his defenses up, his mind is closed and he does not learn, he just lashes out at the person he thinks is attacking him.

This one key piece of advice is worth more to you than anything else on this board. If you can accept criticism without defensiveness and with an open mind to see the speakers point of view, you can get outside of your own world view and start to see your behavior from an outside perspective...then you can see what you are doing wrong or right, test it in the field and learn what works and why. Until you can do that, you will struggle. Good luck.

 

[katzorange]

Warrior, u are definitely right. And I appreciate all the advice you djs on this forum give me. I just ddnt think it was THAT bad, I heard she thought it was cute. Lol but still it was a mistake on my part.

Anyways I now know what I must do. Nothing. Lol

 

[Zunder]

Warrior, u are definitely right. And I appreciate all the advice you djs on this forum give me. I just ddnt think it was THAT bad, I heard she thought it was cute. Lol but still it was a mistake on my part.

Anyways I now know what I must do. Nothing. Lol

Man - this is nothing. A lot of the stuff you did with this girl as far as the good morning emails and other messages was definitely gay - but read this (just to make you feel better) - I once wrote a poem on some scented paper, wrapped it around this little box, in the little box was a necklace with a bone carved dolphin.
Then, I handed it to this girl I was smitten with.
How fvckn Gay is that!
I still go into a cold sweat at how disgustlyingly AFC that was. I almost feel like puking just reiterating here to you!


Warrior was right - this is a great place to learn if you can handle some (at times) hard to take words from your fellow DJ's. They all mean well.

 

[piranha45]

I just ddnt think it was THAT bad, I heard she thought it was cute.

I'm sure she was being honest, too. Because fawning puppies ARE cute.

 

[squirrels]

I never spammed her with messages... I say good morning to her work email address from my work email address and thats it, she is the one that asks the questions and prolong the convo after that.

I never even text her. So only at work I email her. and thats it. My email composed of 2 words, and 2 words only. Good Morning.

You're sending E-mails to her work E-mail address??

First of all, why are you rewarding this girl for standing you up?? Your messages/calls should be oriented around setting up another date. Instead, you are giving her social attention while she is pretty much jerking your chain. You are rewarding her for her bad behavior, essentially saying, "It's OK if you act like an ass toward me and stand me up...I will still be cool to you!"

Second of all, why are you bugging this girl at work? Get YOUR ass to work. Or do what I do at work and play some video games. If it's not working toward what you want (intimacy), it's a waste of time.

F**k the good-morning sh*t. It's lame. Flirt, set something up, or stop wasting your time. Otherwise, cut the E-mails.